


The Downward Spiral

by JoeySharkbait



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alcohol, Dark, F/F, Fluff and Angst, OC, POV Alternating, Self-Harm, Sexual Abuse, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, The Downward Spiral, Tragedy, Yuri
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:53:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 33
Words: 146,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26336728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoeySharkbait/pseuds/JoeySharkbait
Summary: During a battle with Naraku, Sango is kidnapped after being injured and separated from the rest of the group. As Naraku's captive, her strength and mental resolve are tested. Trauma has the strangest way of bringing people together... Even the strongest warriors can be broken. But who will be there to pick up the pieces? [Darkfic, canon-divergent]
Relationships: Kagura/Sango, Sango/Kagura
Kudos: 12





	1. Prologue: Determined

**Author's Note:**

> Author's note, warnings, and disclaimer: This story is essentially a remaster of sorts and moreso an extension of my 2006 fanfiction epic, "Porcelain", which was also the first thing I ever published on this site or the internet in general (can be found on my Fanficiton.net account). Timeline: Takes place somewhere between the third and fourth seasons of the anime. So as not to break up the flow of this story with author's notes and warnings in each chapter, I will add them here- This is a darker work, with an emphasis on the psychology involved. While this story will have some lighter moments, it is wrought with violence and a slow progression of mental illness. This story contains violence, alcohol, eventual yuri, cursing, sexual abuse, suicidal ideation and self-harm. Read at your own risk. All characters within do not belong to me with the exception of Rouge. Thank you to anyone taking the time to read my words. Feedback encouraged and appreciated [especially from anyone who has read "Porcelain"; I would like to think my writing has improved drastically]. [Link to accompanying soundtrack can be found on my profile page.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: "Determined" by Mudvayne]

The forest was alive tonight. Spells, battle cries, and the music of swords colliding broke the silence of the beautiful night. The smell of smoke, blood, and destruction polluted the skies as a fight broke out between a band of friends brought together by tragedy, bonds forged in blood and steel, and their sworn enemy, a powerful and dark demonic presence.

"Naraku, you son of a bitch!" Inuyasha yelled as he slashed at the demon with the tetsusaiga. "I'll kill you if it's the last thing I ever do! You'll never get all the jewel shards! Never!" It was on and this was it. The sacred jewel was almost complete, and it was nearing time to end this vicious cycle of destruction once and for all.

The evil demon moved out of the way of the hanyou's sword and held up a sword of his own. "Foolish half-breed, you can't kill me. No one can kill me." He attempted to strike Inuyasha with the sword, but the half demon was too quick.

Kagome watched Inuyasha duel with Naraku from behind the cover of a bush. Kirara, who was injured earlier in this altercation, and Shippo, too young to be an active participant, hid there as well, protected by the powerful miko. Kagome carefully positioned an arrow on the bow and aimed at Naraku. "Inuyasha!" she screamed. "Look out!" Inuyasha jumped out the way, a determined and bloodthirsty grin gracing his features. Naraku turned around to see what Kagome was plotting. The miko smiled as the arrow struck Naraku in the side, causing him to briefly fall to his knees.

Now was his chance. Inuyasha jumped up into the air and jumped onto Naraku's back, shoving him into the cold, hard earth. Inuyasha wasn't even going to use his sword to kill the monstrosity; he would simply kill Naraku with his bare hands, the idea of this ultraviolence satiating his thirst for revenge. Inuyasha spread his claws out and then started tearing at Naraku's back, ripping his regal clothing to shreds and slicing through flesh branded with the scar of a spider.

Miroku and Sango charged at Naraku at full speed. Miroku wacked him in the skull as hard as he could with his staff, causing blood to slowly seep from the demon's head. Inuyasha stepped off Naraku and gave him a swift kick in the ribs before stepping aside to let his friends have their turn.

"Miroku!" yelled Sango, as she pulled the hiraikotsu off her back. "Move out of my way! He's mine! I'm going to kill him!" She hurled the oversized boomerang at Naraku, just as he managed to stand up, and the impact sent him flying. He nearly landed on Inuyasha, who happily slashed Naraku's shoulder with the tetsusaiga in passing. The young slayer was quite pleased with her damage.

Naraku laid still for a few moments. The group watched in silence, until they heard low, horrid laughter as he slowly stood up. Before anyone could do anything, he whipped around and grabbed Inuyasha by his throat and pulled him close. "Insolent halfbreed," he snarled, "I'll kill you right now. I think I'll make it quick and painless, too." He was about ready to crush the half-demon's neck, but that was delayed due to Sango coming up behind him and kicking him hard in the back, Miroku following suit in a hail of sutras and blows.

Naraku cringed as he lay on the ground. "I know something that will take care of you for a while..." he snapped his fingers and in the blink of an eye, Kohaku was standing in the middle of the destroyed clearing that they were fighting in. "Kohaku, take care of the monk and the taijiya. I'll rid the world of Inuyasha and the miko." Naraku snapped once more and slowly rose to his feet.

A gust of wind materialized seemingly out of nowhere as Naraku's wind-wielding incarnation, Kagura, descended from the heavens on her feather. She jumped off and landed gracefully, one foot planted firmly on the ground, her other knee bent. She held out her hand and caught the feather, now minimized and floating toward her hand. Kagura's blood red eyes scanned the battlefield, finally making direct contact with Inuyasha's own golden hues. She stood up and whipped out her fan to send a sharp assault of wind and blades in the group's direction.

"Kagura, finish this band of fools!" With that command, the injured Naraku disappeared in a cloud of miasma, only to reappear once more at Inuyasha's side.

Kohaku threw his blade at Miroku, catching him off guard and managing to make a huge gash in his shoulder. Miroku fell to his knees, clutching the wound. The boy walked towards him and was ready to end him with his katana but was stopped by one of Kagome's arrows. Sango watched this new battle unfold, frozen. Kagome would not intentionally hurt Kohaku, she knew, but if push came to shove… she had to protect her friends first. Kohaku was still a wild card in all this.

Inuyasha, who had revisited dueling with Naraku, looked over his shoulder for a moment and screamed, "Sango! What the hell are you doing just standing there? I don't give a damn if he's your brother or not! Get him!" Inuyasha was almost struck by Naraku's sword and retaliated by slashing the evil demon with the tetsusaiga. "Don't give me that look, dammit!" Inuyasha really did feel bad for Sango, having to fight her brother and all, but Kohaku was a lost boy for the time being, a shell of the young man he could have been. He was not the focus of the night's current mission.

Seeing another arrow coming towards him, Kohaku fled the clearing and ran into the forest. Sango remained standing watching everything happening, not sure what to do.

"Sango!" screamed Inuyasha, annoyance and anger radiating from his words, "Chase after him! Get him- what the hell?" Inuyasha was struck in the side with Naraku's sword.

Sango came to her senses and chased after Kohaku, running as fast as she could. Could she really kill him? She had a barrage of mental problems fighting him to begin with but killing him was never something she could do unless she were to follow him in death. Reluctantly, the taijiya threw the hiraikotsu forward, knocking a few trees in half, revealing another clearing in the forest. The weapon returned to her grasp, and Sango held it over her head, while standing in a battle stance as she scanned the area for any signs of her once sweet, innocent little brother.

The clearing was soon filled with an aura of foreboding and the sounds of Naraku's evil cackle. Sango looked around, trying to find where it came from. The young woman backed up slowly and bumped into someone. She turned around and saw Naraku standing there. "Naraku!" said Sango. She dropped her weapon and threw her fist at Naraku, hitting him hard enough in the face to bloody his lip. She felt her bones compact in her hand, instantly receiving a fracture. Her other hand automatically gripped the hilt of her katana, ready to raise the blade.

Naraku just stood there, a sick smile forming on his face. "I won't die so easily, stupid mortal."

"Where is Kohaku? What did you do with my friends?" Sango demanded, backing away from the demon, and quickly picking up the hiraikotsu. She finally realized she was no longer within earshot of the larger battle and her sense of self-preservation heightened. Something was off…

Naraku chuckled. "Oh, they're fine. They're all fine."

Sango heard a noise behind her and spun around to see what it was. When she turned back around, Naraku was gone. "Where are you, you coward?" she asked. "Show yourself, you bastard! Fight me!"

All was quiet for a few minutes. Sango would not let her guard down, no matter what. Then she felt something grab her around her throat from behind. Sango slammed her body into Naraku's and knocked him away for the time being. He stumbled backward, watching her every move. The demon slayer rubbed her neck for a split second, then hurled the hiraikotsu at Naraku, hitting him with it, and making him fly into a tree, knocking it in half.

"Come on, Naraku," said Sango, "Quit playing games!" She was going to kill him. Her blood was boiling, he was here—about to be the pinpoint focus of years of pent-up rage and much needed revenge. She was determined to wipe him from this mortal plane once and for all.

Naraku got up and without any warning charged at the woman and unsheathed his sword. Sango acted in response to this, and pulled out her own sword, and held it up just in time. For a while, Sango and Naraku stood in the middle of the clearing, swords interlocked, staring into one another's eyes with pure hatred. Until finally, Naraku grew tired of this apparent stalemate and swung his foot into Sango's shin, causing her to lose her ground and fall.

The taijiya dropped her weapon and looked up at Naraku's bloodstained form. Naraku stared back. Sango stood up once more, and charged him, jumping up in the air and planning a high kick in the face. Her execution failed as Naraku grabbed her by her ankle and threw her to the ground. Sango landed on her stomach, and the wind was knocked out of her lungs for a moment.

"You can't defeat me. Not even 'the great Inuyasha' could defeat me. So, in other words, you have no chance, you insignificant little wench," said Naraku. He gave her a kick in the stomach, causing her to roll over on her back. Then Naraku struck her left shoulder with his sword, piercing her flesh, blood soaking her armor and the surrounding ground.  
Sango let out an ear-piercing scream as the blade cut through her shoulder and coming out the other side. She grabbed the blade with her right hand and managed to slowly move the blade out of her shoulder, then she stood up, grasping the wound. Rage is a hell of an anesthetic.

Naraku shook his head and examined his weapon. He was honestly surprised at her determination. Clearly, she would begin bleeding out soon. "Stupid, foolish child. When will you learn when to give up?"

Sango let out an angry battle cry as she ran as fast as she could at Naraku. Naraku charged back at her and crouched slightly as she came close, extending his arm to clothesline the slayer as they made contact. She could not stop in time and fell to the ground, putting her hand to her throat from the dull pain from running forcefully into his arm. Almost as soon as she went down, Naraku proceeded in kicking her until she grabbed him by his ankle and pulled him down. The demon landed right next to Sango, who grabbed a rather large rock and brought it down it over his head. She tried to crawl away, but Naraku yanked her backwards by her foot, so that she was positioned under him. Sango kicked him off her and then slowly stood up. Naraku returned to his feet.

This was proving to become quite the battle. The two sworn enemies stood a few meters apart, both covered in blood, ready to fight to the death.

"Well, Naraku," Sango said in a weak voice, "one of us goes, one of us stays. If I die in battle, I'm dragging you to hell with me." The demon slayer spit out some blood, then smiled at her opponent, absolute hatred apparent in the fire in her eyes.

"You're right about that one," replied Naraku, as he threw his sword at her as if it were a spear, striking her in the side, ripping through her flesh with a sickening noise. Sango yelped in pain and began to stumble backwards. Naraku caught her roughly by the arm and she made one final attempt at taking him out. She flipped out he hidden blade on her forearm and directed it at him. Naraku grabbed the blade and crushed it in his bare hand, blood seeping down his arm. Naraku let out a cloud of miasma and threw Sango to the ground.

She tried with every little ounce of anything she had to get back up and fight. She was losing blood fast and the poisonous miasma was beginning to cloud her senses. Soon everything went black. Sango had finally stopped fighting, and she lay motionless on the ground, bloodied, and bruised from a hard battle. A lost battle.

Naraku stood over Sango's unconscious form, studying her. He had planned on luring the miko or the monk away from the group, but this was possibly even better, as next to Inuyasha, Sango was a surprisingly formidable opponent in battle. She fought with brute force that could not always be blocked with magic alone. Problematic. If Naraku were to ensure the fall of Inuyasha, he would have to break apart his pack, one by one.

Naraku's plans had changed slightly. Oh yes, he had plans for this one. He knew she would fight until the death, her blind rage and determination likely being the only thing keeping her going at this point. She was angry, volatile, hostile. He had plans to douse the flames of her revenge; she would be the first of the dog demon's pack of fools to fall. Should they come to find her, he would take the remaining jewel shards from them and release his latest weapon. Should she be returned to them, she would no longer be a threat, assuming she survived.

Naraku smirked as he picked Sango up off the forest floor. They vanished in a cloud of miasma.


	2. Chapter One: Aggressive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: "Aggressive" by Beartooth]

Dawn was approaching and the group had made no progress in locating their lost member. Inuyasha walked over to Miroku. "Has she come back yet?"

Miroku shook his head. "No. Apparently you haven't found her, either?"

"Oh, shut the hell up, Miroku!" yelled the hanyou, out of rage. He was worried, trying not to take it out on his friends.

Kagome hated it when the guys fought like this, but she had to admit, this time, they had a good reason for it. Shippo never liked it much, himself. Inuyasha's anger at times could border the stuff of nightmares.

"What do you think happened to her?" asked Shippo, as he comfortingly stroked Kirara's soft fur.

Inuyasha was getting very impatient, his anxiety growing. He would never parade his feelings around, but he did make a vow to himself to protect these people. They had become his pack. "Hell if I know!"

"It's not like her to just leave like that," said Kagome, looking past the boys, into the still dark woods behind them.

"Well, yeah," said Inuyasha, pacing back and forth, "she went after Kohaku last time I saw her. When we were fighting with Naraku."

"Wait, no," said Miroku, "We were fighting Kagura by that point. Did anyone even happen to see what happened to Naraku?"

Inuyasha snarled, angry at himself for losing eyes on their nemesis. "Dammit! How did we lose sight of that bastard?!"

Kagome felt a chill run down her spine as a morbid thought entered her psyche. "What if… Naraku killed her?"

Miroku was broke out of his thoughts by those words. No! Sango couldn't be dead! She was too strong to be killed off by Naraku so easily, baited by giving chase to her brother.

"She's not dead!" Inuyasha barked. "If she was dead, we would know by now. Naraku would have left her corpse for us to see. She's gone..." He sighed and finally sat down, bowing his head. "But I did happen to find a place with a whole lot of blood. It smells like Sango... and Naraku."

"We could go there and look around!" said Miroku. Any sign indicating that Sango was alive was good enough for the monk.

"I didn't hang around long. I figured you guys would start freaking out and get lost trying to find me, too," said the half demon. "I don't need to worry about chasing after you all as well. And I also found her weapons. Something happened."

This angered Miroku. How could Inuyasha not look around? What if Sango was there when he was, and she was too badly injured to alert him? "Come on! We are looking for her!" Miroku stood up and shot the others a hardened stare, his intensity almost out of character for him. "Inuyasha, show me where you found all of this."

* * *

Sango opened her eyes and dizzily sat up. She felt like she was supposed to have died but didn't. Sango put a hand to her head and tried to focus on her whereabouts. She was in a small room of some sort, more than likely a cell. Then it hit her- she was in Naraku's castle.

It took her a minute to think about how she had gotten there. She remembered the battle between her group and Naraku, going after Kohaku, then fighting Naraku by herself... after that, everything was dulled. Naraku must have brought her here. Sango wondered what he was going to do with her. Hold her for ransom of the shikon jewel? Kill her? Make her another one of his mindless slaves? All her thoughts were broken by someone opening the door to her cell, allowing a small amount of light to fill the place.

Kagura stood in the doorway. "Go clean yourself up. Naraku wishes to see you."

It took Sango a moment to find her voice. "Fuck him. I do not wish to see him."

The wind sorceress walked towards the injured girl and gently kicked her leg. "I have nothing against you, but I have no reason to help you, either." Sango just looked up at her with hatred in her eyes. "I'm just telling you this because if it were up to me, I would have just killed the priestess and taken the shards. I'll never understand why Naraku insists on toying with you all. A waste of time, in my opinion."

"What the hell does Naraku want with me?" asked Sango.

Kagura was losing her patience. If Sango didn't cooperate, they'd both pay, and the sorceress didn't feel like getting beaten again. She had already earned her punishment for the week for her latest escape attempt. "I really hate to do this but..." Kagura waved her fan and muttered something. This somehow made the taijiya stand straight up, against her will. Kagura muttered something else and waved the fan once more, this time willing Sango to charge into a wall.

"What the _fuck_?" Sango rubbed her already injured shoulder and headed towards the door, stopping only to send a vicious look in Kagura's direction.

Kagura lightly shoved Sango out into a rather dark hallway, lit only by candles in torches, hanging on the walls every six feet or so. "Follow me, taijiya. There is a bathroom this way." She started down the hallway, with Sango limping a few feet behind her. Kagura noticed that the young woman's footsteps had stopped. "Oh, and don't try anything stupid. There's no way to escape."

"Why? What would you know about that?" replied Sango.

"I've tried," was Kagura's simple answer. Sango was honestly surprised. She knew Kagura to be rebellious toward Naraku, but she wasn't aware that she felt this way about her situation.

They continued walking down the hallway, until they reached a set of stairs. They walked up the flight and then turned a corner into a hallway of the main portion of the castle. They reached a sliding door, likely made of cherry wood. Kagura slid the door open and gestured inside. "There is clothing in there for you. And some medicine I prepared- it will help with the pain; however, your wounds will still need a few days to heal." Kagura gave Sango another soft shove and then slammed the door to the washroom shut. "One more thing, taijiya. Hurry up! If you are late, so am I because Naraku is making me babysit you and make sure you don't try anything stupid. If I'm late for any reason, Naraku will punish me and I've already had my fill of his shit for the week."

Sango shook her head and undressed, relieved to get out of her bloodied slayer armor. She walked over to the bath and lowered herself into the water, which was surprisingly warm. She took a few moments to relax, and then began to cleanse herself. The task proved to be quite difficult, given the severity of her injured shoulder and the shallow stab wound in her side. Just as she was done washing the dried blood out of her hair, she heard Kagura slamming her fist against the door.

"Can you hurry up?!"

Sango reached for the bar of soap she had just finished using and launched it at the door. After doing so, she was reminded harshly of the broken bones in her dominant hand. A sick mix of blood loss and adrenaline had distracted her from being more mindful of her injuries. She was in no mood for the impatience of the wind user. Although, it may be wise after all not to keep Naraku waiting. She was without her weapons and her armor was in dire need of repair. Sango got out of the water and began drying herself. She examined the medicine Kagura had left for her, appearing to be salve of some kind. She was initially distrustful of the concoction but the blood still on her side and shoulder coaxed her into a change of heart. _Beggars can't be choosers, I suppose._

She noticed a small array of medical supplies had also been left for her, including medical wrap. After applying the medicine, she wrapped the bandages around her abdomen, trying carefully to apply enough pressure to keep the bleeding at bay on her side but not enough to cause more pain and discomfort. She tended to the wound on her shoulder and then wrapped her hand tightly, binding her ring and little fingers together to minimize movement.

Sango turned her attention to the clothing that had been left for her. A plain gray kimono had been left out for her, along with undergarments. She dressed and then approached the door, opening it to reveal an obviously annoyed Kagura.

"Took long enough," Kagura turned on her heel and began leading them down the corridor. The medicine was already starting to work, lessening the pain Sango felt throughout her body, but she still had trouble keeping up with the wind demon ahead of her.

After what seemed like ages, they turned into another long hallway. This place was like a labyrinth. Eventually, they arrived at a large set of double sliding doors. Kagura stepped aside. "You go first."

Sango complied and opened the doors, going into another poorly lit room. The room was huge, with torches lined on the walls, like in the halls, and a long, red carpet leading up a small set of steps to a throne of sorts. And on that throne sat Naraku, with Kohaku and Kanna waiting patiently on either side of him.

"Ah, Kagura," said Naraku, "You've actually done something right for once." The demon sat ironically in a place that was not really his but belonged to the man he had killed and whose identity he consumed. Nothing remained of Prince Kagewake, his family, or servants. Just a warped version of him remained, possessed by Naraku's darkness.

"Yes, master," Kagura bowed and shot Sango an angry glance before resting her ill-tempered gaze on her 'master'.

"Sango," said Naraku, getting up and walking over to her and placing a hand on her shoulder. The taijiya lunged at him, making a move to choke him, but Naraku stopped her by grabbing her by her wrists. The rage in her subsided as she was reminded once again of the limitation of her broken hand. "Do you know why you're here?" he asked.

Sango just glared at him, silent. _Fuck him._

Naraku released her and took a step back before circling her like a vulture in the sky above a rotting corpse. "Inuyasha is nothing without his friends. His squad, his pack. Alone, as much as I hate to say it, he is still a force to be reckoned with. But there is a safety in numbers…" Naraku stopped in front of Sango, his red eyes staring into hers. "I had no intention of taking you. The priestess or monk would have been easier targets for sure." Sango clenched her fists, angry at Naraku's dismissal of her friends' strength. "Either way, my plan worked. I needed to separate Inuyasha's pack. You're all a lot less dangerous alone."

"So what, are you going to try to kill me? I already told you if I go, I'm taking you with me." Sango reached over her shoulder for the hiraikotsu, but then remembered that it was probably back in the forest. "Shit," she cursed under her breath.

"What?" taunted Naraku. "No weapons?"

She didn't need weapons to fight this waste of space. "I don't need weapons," said Sango. "I'll rip you apart with my bare hands." Resentment and a bitter, roiling hate were building inside of her. She knew she couldn't kill him without a weapon, but she'd be damned if she didn't give it her all and come out swinging anyway.

"Very well then," said Naraku. "Let's fight."

Sango waited for him to make the first move, which was... sending Kagura to fight her?

"Well," said Kagura, "I finally get to fight the infamous demon slayer, Sango, one on one. Are you really as good of a fighter as I hear?" Kagura unfolded her fan and held it up against her face, covering everything except for her ruby red eyes.

Sango said nothing but crouched down in a fighting stance. She'd let the witch make the first move. Kagura swiped her fan through the air, causing a curse to go towards Sango, but it missed. Sango managed a backflip to dodge and then ran full speed towards Kagura. The wind sorceress knew what she was going to do- either charge into her or attempt a high kick; how pathetic. But the taijiya did neither of these. Instead, she jumped clear over Kagura and landed gracefully behind her.

It took Kagura a moment to register what had just happened and by that time, Sango had come up behind Kagura and kicked her in the middle of her back, causing her to fall forward. "Kagura! You imbecile! Get up and fight her! She's only a mortal!" Naraku screamed at his creation. Kagura was awestruck by Sango's prowess in battle. It's like her injuries didn't even phase her.

Kagura turned around, still on the floor, but in a matter of seconds, Sango had flung herself onto the witch, and had pinned her arms to her sides. "I'll kill you if I have to. It doesn't matter to me," said Sango, "Just one less monster of Naraku's to deal with." Sango put her hands around Kagura's neck to choke her and was soon thrown off.

"That's enough," said Naraku, watching the demon slayer as she stood completely still, watching him.

"Aren't you going to fight me?" asked Sango. "Or are you too cowardly to do anything by yourself, except make others fight for you?"

"I'll fight you, alright," said Naraku in a sly voice. But there was something else in his voice, Sango noticed. But just what was it? "I see you are indeed a decent fighter," Naraku stated.

Sango just couldn't take it anymore. No more of his stupid games! Sango shoved Kagura out of the way and ran towards Naraku. Naraku was shocked by this, and yelled at Kagura in defense, "Stop her, now!" He did not worry for his own safety at this point; moreso he was growing tired of the slayer's futile attacks.

Kagura hurriedly muttered a curse and waved her fan at Sango. The curse sent her flying into a wall, barely phasing her through the adrenaline burst and blood rage. Sango just got back up and charged at Naraku once more. And Kagura sent another curse her way. This one, making her stop dead in her tracks. Sango instantly became aware of her paralysis and for the first time in this fight, she felt a hint of real fear permeate through the adrenaline.

"Are you sure?" Kagura asked Naraku, a very slight hesitation in her voice.

"That is nothing compared to what I'll do to you if you don't do it," Naraku hissed.

Kagura reluctantly waved her fan once more and closed her eyes. Sango felt a very weird sensation fill her body. "What in the-" Sango screamed as she was lifted off the ground and slammed into the ceiling. She fell to the floor in a heap, but got back up, yet again. Kagura saw Naraku nod his head, and the witch sent the curse in Sango's direction once more. This curse was this time able to give Kagura full control of the taijiya's body.

Sango tried to fight the curse, even managed to hold it off for a bit, but her strength was soon drained. She watched in shock as she felt her arms being raised against her will, and her hands covering her face. Then she felt her fingernails dig painfully into her face. This continued for little more than a minute before Sango started screaming and cursing in pain and started fighting the curse once more, feeling the sting of her own blood enter her left eye.

"That is enough, Kagura!" commanded Naraku.

Kagura gladly lifted the curse, and Sango fell forwards, the pain of her body hitting the hard-stone floor not even bothering her. It was nothing compared to the shock that came from total loss of bodily autonomy. Kagura almost felt guilty for causing her to hurt herself like that. The girl fought so hard and likely would not stop until either they were killed, or she was, if left up to her. The wind sorceress quickly cleared those thoughts of sympathy and empathy from her mind.

"Take her and find her a suitable room," said Naraku, as he got off his false throne and picked up Sango's unconscious form and walked over to Kagura.

"What about the cell?" she asked, toying with her fan and eyeing it, feigning disinterest in the developing situation.

Naraku was quiet for a moment. He turned away and looked down at Sango. He felt her body tense up the moment he picked her up, even though she was knocked out. He also took note of the bloody trails going down her cheeks where she had clawed herself. The deepest cut was over her left eye, severing her eyebrow in two. Naraku turned towards Kagura once more and handed Sango to her. "A warrior with a spirit that strong deserves better than a mere cell. She will be of use to me somehow. She will be far more than a simple prisoner of war."

Kagura carefully took the unconscious slayer in her arms. She looked from Sango to Naraku and raised an eyebrow. "Yes, master." With that said, she left. Kagura walked up a staircase and down a corridor towards her own room and went into another room across from it. Kagura placed Sango on the bed and left for a moment to get a towel to wipe the blood off the girl's face. 'Foolish taijiya,' thought Kagura, 'she's wasting her energy trying to fight him like that.' He was too powerful. It would take someone strong, possibly several people of great strength, to take out Naraku once and for all. Although, Sango's determination was admirable, to say the least.

Kagura had a few ideas of what Naraku had in plan for the young taijiya. None of them were good.

As if merely thinking about him summoned the devil to her side, Naraku appeared in the doorway.

"She's a strong one, Sango," said Naraku. Kagura glared at him. "Witch, that's nothing compared to what I'm going to do. It won't be easy, but I will break her. I will make that wench wish that she had never been born. She will no longer pose any type of threat to me." With that said, he left.

Kagura stared at the doorway, deep in thought. The capture of such a strong member of Inuyasha's small clan was a victory in and of itself for Naraku. He was becoming truly dangerous. Even more so once he unleashed his latest weapon of mass destruction to the wilds.

Kagura sighed and began tending to Sango's latest injuries.


	3. Chapter Two: Happy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: "Happy?" by Mudvayne]

_[Sango's point of view.]_

_Breathe…_

_Breathe…_

_Wait…_

_I saw red and felt a stinging in my left eye, followed by my right but not as severe. The last thing I remember is red… bloody crimson… and the wounds of defeat…  
_

_Light? … What?_

My eyes fluttered open and I slowly scanned my new surroundings. I was in a bed, in a room, quite a fancy one, judging from the furniture. Riches lived here; I suppose. I brought my hands to my face and then ran my fingers through my hair. I felt a bandage over my left eye, and I could feel faint scratches beginning to scar over on my forehead and cheeks. I cringed as I remembered all too vividly how I got those marks. I then pulled the covers off my body and sat up. The walls were blank, other than a single torch on one side and a high window with several rays of sun peeking in. I got out of the bed and stretched my aching limbs in vain. I felt like I had been trampled and then thrown off a cliff to be left for dead. The slight fog of sleep coupled with a throbbing headache began to fade and I remembered where I was; the clarity made me want to vomit. I walked out of the room, stopping at the doorway only to check to make sure that Naraku or any of his minions were nowhere to be seen. All clear.

I cautiously started down the hallway, finding it ever so suspicious that I hadn't been stopped yet or that I was just left to my slumber all… morning? Afternoon? Judging from the golden rays I had awoken to peering in through my 'bedroom' window, it had to be a little past noon at least. There were many other halls I could have ventured down but I chose to stick to the main course. This would not be a place to become lost in, for so many reasons.

My exploration halted once I came down a small set of stairs and was presented with a set of blood red double sliding doors. There were chains and a heavy-duty lock holding the doors closed. I don't know why but I was drawn to this area. Something important was hidden behind those doors and my intuition was telling me to turn around and run the other way. _If Naraku is keeping something locked up like this, it must be invaluable to him_ … My curiosity overruled my better judgement and I reached out to fiddle with the lock. I bet I could pick it open if I could find the proper tools…

I felt a hand on my shoulder and spun around, guilty as all hell, heart racing.

"What do you think you're doing?" It was only Kagura. "You don't want to know what's in there."

"And what makes you think that?"

Kagura was quiet for a moment. "Nothing but pure evil is in that room. That and..."

"Yes?" I cocked an eyebrow, dropping hints for her to continue. I turned around to take another look at the lock. Kagura reached out and grabbed my forearm, roughly turning me halfway to face her. Probably pressing my luck here…

"Nevermind," said Kagura, realizing that she had almost slipped up.

"Come on," I egged her on as I pulled my arm out of her grasp, "What else is in there?"

"None of your concern, taijiya." Kagura eyed me suspiciously. Something faltered in her voice as she spoke. "Come with me; you should probably eat something." She turned and began walking back up the stairs. She paused at the top and turned to face me once more. "Well, come on!"

I narrowed my eyes, unsure. My stomach grumbled and I was suddenly aware that it had likely been over an entire day since I had anything to eat. I begrudgingly followed Kagura up the stairs, keeping my distance a few paces away from her at all times. She led me through the maze of hallways until we finally reached our destination of a grand kitchen. The table was filled with food. It all looked very delicious, but I was cynical.

I walked over to the table and picked up an apple, examining it before giving Kagura a suspicious look.

"It's not poisoned," stated Kagura. She let out a quiet laugh as she watched me bite into the fruit rather hesitantly.

"Better not be…" I grumbled through a mouth full of food. Normally I would display a bit more manners but not in my present company. I could care less. I finished the apple and intentionally discarded the core over my shoulder, in Kagura's direction. I was well aware that I was handling my current situation rather immaturely; however, my pride and ever-present rage at all things Naraku-related were getting the better of me. I wanted it to be clear as daylight that I absolutely did _not_ want to be here, regardless of any apparent hospitality. This was the enemy and I was a prisoner of war. I didn't need their sympathy, but I would gladly eat their food.

Judging from the lack of curse words or violence, I had clearly missed my target with the apple core. A bowl of noodles caught my eye—ramen crowned with a fried egg. As I greedily reached for the food, I heard Kagura pipe up behind me. "You can have a seat you know." I turned around and stared at her. _The hell is she being nice to me for?_  
Kagura took a seat on the floor and reached for another bowl of ramen next to mine. She took a few bites with her chopsticks and then reached for a teapot. She poured some into a small teacup and turned to me. "Tea?"

My skepticism was growing. Just last night she was mind-fucking me with her demon magic on Naraku's command like the little puppet she was and now she's being a model hostess?

"Why the hospitality?" I asked, eyeing the tea suspiciously.

Kagura sighed and then poured another cup of the tea and took a sip herself. "See? Not poisoned."

"You still didn't answer my question…" I took the beverage from her and sipped it before placing it back on the table and turning my attention back toward the noodles I had previously been lusting over. I was able to enjoy about half of the noodles when I felt Kagura's hand on the side of my face. "The fuck?!" She turned my head so that I was facing her, and I lowered the bowl of ramen to my lap. Kagura kept one hand on my chin and brushed my bangs back with the other. She seemed to be examining my latest injuries.

"Hmm… you're already healing well enough." She ran her thumb over my left eyebrow, and I winced a little, shutting my eyes. "That's going to leave a scar, though," she stated as she let go of me and returned to her breakfast as if nothing had happened. I wasn't sure if I wanted to eat anymore.

"How is your shoulder?" she asked.

"Hurts like hell," I answered, caught off guard by this whole interaction. It did still hurt, although not as bad as before. My stomach growled once more and I returned to my meal, hoping it could still be somewhat enjoyed.

"What about your side?"

My side? I brought my hand to the site of the stab wound. It no longer hurt. At all. And to my surprise, I couldn't feel any lingering pain or scabbing, even through my clothing. My widened eyes and stunned expression must have been a satisfactory answer to her question.

"And your hand?"

I held up my bandaged right hand and examined it. I tried popping my knuckles and flexing my fingers only to be met with the smallest yet sharpest pain in my small and ring metacarpals.

"I see…" Kagura sipped her tea once more.

We finished our meal in silence, the slightest tension between us. Either she didn't notice or didn't care.

"Did you help me?" I asked.

Kagura looked at me; I couldn't quite read her expression. "You were damn near dead."

"So?"

"You're no good to Naraku if you're dead," she stated mechanically. Her words were hollow. Somehow, I didn't believe her fully.

We sat in silence for a moment until she stood up. I followed suit, refusing to be any lower than her, literally or metaphorically speaking. She was a little taller than me, I noticed. Maybe by five centimeters or so. Even this petty fact annoyed me. Without saying a word, she turned and began heading for the door. I followed.

"Where are you going?"

"I must go see Naraku," she answered coldly. "I don't advise you follow."

"And what exactly do you expect me to do with my time?"

She glared at me. "Just be happy you're not locked up in a cell. While there's still no way to escape this wretched place, it is still quite the risk to have you roaming around."

"So, you expect me to just stay here?"

"I don't expect you to do much of anything." She walked through the door, stepping out into the hall. There was really no reason for our exchange to infuriate me like it did, but I had a sudden urge to pick a fight with her, even though she had apparently helped me, regardless of her motive. I watched her disappear down the hall, confused and wondering how I should spend the rest of my day.

* * *

_[Kagura's point of view.]_

I knocked on the doors leading to Naraku's throne room. "It is me, Kagura, Master Naraku," I proclaimed, trying hard not to choke on those words.  
Naraku's evil laughter could be heard as the doors slid open by themselves, and I stepped through, walked over to Naraku, and bowed to him. Kohaku and Kanna stood obediently on either side of him like Cerberus guarding the underworld. Naraku was hell, after all. That made us collectively his demon dogs.

"I have a plan to break the taijiya…" said Naraku.

"Oh?" _Why her? She was our prisoner of war currently—bait of sorts for Inuyasha—was that not enough?_

"She is, unfortunately for me, a wild card among Inuyasha's pack. She has no extrasensory or spiritual abilities, she is no demon, just a mere mortal. Though she fights with the vigor and tenacity of a small army. Take last night's little skirmish for example—I would have won in the end, but she would not have given up so easily."

I really did not have much to say, although Naraku's words had piqued my curiosity. "She's a destructive little bitch," I offered in agreement.

"A warrior with a spirit that strong is indeed dangerous…" Naraku reached into his pocket and pulled out a jewel shard. He eyed it, obviously very deep in thought. He was plotting something.

I looked up at him, still bowed, and raised an eyebrow, motioning him to continue.

"I had intended on taking either the priestess or the monk captive, for use as bait." I already knew that. I was utterly convinced that Naraku just loved to hear himself talk sometimes, the narcissistic fuck. "Although in hindsight, they would not be anywhere _near_ as much fun."

"What are you getting at, Naraku?"

He chuckled evilly. "Sango is a demon slayer, Kagura. She fights demons such as you and I and regularly battles a breed far more nefarious than either of us—her own inner demons." I knew that, also. I was well aware of how Kohaku came to be my reluctant brother in arms and how Naraku had forced the small boy to slay his entire family and how Sango had survived by some stroke of either luck or cruel fate. No wonder the taijiya was so angry all the time. No wonder she fought like she did.

"What if I should add one more demon to the horde that lives in her mind and darkens her soul on a daily basis?" Naraku smirked and clenched the jewel shard in his fist.

"Naraku, I seriously doubt there is much more you could do…" I didn't realize I spoke my words aloud. I swallowed hard and bowed lower to the floor, my nose almost touching the stone tile.

"My dear Kagura," Naraku started. I cringed at his choice of words. "Sango is indeed a warrior, but before that, she is only a woman... and a pretty one at that." I felt my stomach turn at his commentary. I knew Naraku still lusted after the dead priestess, Kikyo, but I was not fully aware of any such feelings for the young demon slayer.

"So, you're going to use her like some common whore?" I dared to raise myself a little and look him in the eyes.

"There is a certain allure to her hatred of me…" A cruel smile pulled at the corners of his lips. "She has no family left, no village, no kin. She is the last of her kind. What does she fight for? Her own honor? No, instead she fights for the wasted life of her soulless brother." He gestured to Kohaku, who stood to his left, emotionless, unexpressive. A small part of me was thankful he couldn't seem to hear or at least acknowledge Naraku's insults to him and his sister.

"Sango has no honor. She's a clanless ghost of a dying breed. She's dangerous in battle because while she is skilled, she is also reckless. She will gladly jump in front of attacks to defend her friends or even her brother, like she has no sense of self-preservation at times. Like she would rather die."

Naraku unclenched the jewel shard once more and I swear the shard's tint changed to a darker hue of purple. A violent amethyst. "I will break her, Kagura. Even the strongest warriors can be broken. She doesn't have much left to offer this world, anyway."

I felt very ill suddenly. She was my enemy, but even an enemy didn't deserve what he was planning. My inner turmoil and rebellion toward Naraku had been steadily growing over my short lifetime and I was finding it harder every day to keep my mouth shut, lest he assert his power over me once more. I willed so strongly for my freedom but at the same time, I almost always wanted to die. The horrors I had seen, the things he's made me do and the things he's done to me…

Naraku suddenly lunged forward at me and roughly grasped my chin in his hands, pulling my face mere centimeters from his. "You will not interfere, _got it_?" I stared him down. I had no fear left of him. Only hatred.

"I'll have my way with our little captive. I will destroy her spirit and she will no longer pose a threat to me." Naraku released me, shoving me back in the process. I fell on my ass and braced the rest of the impact with my hands, scraping my palms on the stone floor.

Something was boiling inside me, a… protective… anger I never knew I had. _I could still feel his hands on me… at least once per week…_ "You're fucking disgusting!" I shouted at him.

A loud smack echoed throughout the chamber and the side of my face stung so hard I felt a tear escape my eye. I didn't turn my head.

"You're off the hook for now, Kagura. You will no longer be seeing me at night." He turned on his heel and walked toward the door.

Naraku turned once he made it to the exit and smiled wickedly in my direction. "I lied. There's more than one thing I need from her." He produced the jewel shard from his pocket once more and stared into it, hungrily. "Mortals will argue that love is the most powerful emotion. I beg to differ—hate is much more powerful. And vengeance. I need to capture the essence of her negativity. And when I do, I'll be sure to put it to good use. Our other conquest could use such motivation."

_Fuck._


	4. Chapter Three: Innocence Displaced

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: "Cradle" by Mudvayne]

_[Kagura's point of view.]_

The sun was at the end of its day and it was nearly completely hidden behind the treetops. I hopped off my feather, having just returned from running an "errand" for Naraku. I was hoping I would not be too late. The feather floated down toward me as it shrank, and I snatched it with a quickness and tucked it back in my hair. I ran across the courtyard and bounded inside, rapidly turning and tearing through the halls until I reached my destination. _I will have no part in this! I must warn her!_ I paused and held my breath, putting my ear to the door. No sound. That was good.

I crept toward the bed and placed my hands on the sleeping demon slayer's shoulders, giving her a small shake. "Hey! Wake up!"

Sango woke up and rubbed her eyes. "What do you want?" she asked in an annoyed tone, eyeing me suspiciously.

"Listen to me," I said in a hushed voice; I looked over my shoulder toward the door before daring to continue, "you're in _bad trouble_. You need to either try to get out of here or—or…" I had nothing. I hated feeling powerless. Part of me wished she would escape, but then that would leave me vulnerable to becoming the target of Naraku's misplaced aggression once more. Part of me wished she would escape and take me with her.

"You have been telling me the whole time I've been here that there is absolutely _no_ way of escaping!"

I put a hand to my forehead and turned away from her. "I know, I know…" I looked around the room once more and then grabbed her by her arms, pulling her reluctantly to her feet. "Just trust me, please, try to get out of here!"

She yanked her arms out of my grasp and stood before me, her presence irradiating annoyance. "What the hell are you talking about, witch? Why so adamant to help me all of a sudden? And at this time of night?"

I gritted my teeth. She was stubborn and so was I. Annoying. " _Because_ if you don't at least try to escape, something really bad is going to happen." I wanted to tell her so badly, but I could not bring myself to speak the words. "Look, slayer, _Sango_ …" Her name felt so foreign coming out of my mouth. "You're in grave danger. I could try to distract him but for how long, I don't know—"

"Kagura, _what_ are you talking about?" questioned Sango.

 _Idiot._ But then again, I knew my words were likely coming out as nonsense. I just could not bear the thought of him doing that to anyone else. And then there was that weapon of his… "He's got this…project… he's been working on and he needs something from you to complete it, and—" I heard footsteps approaching.

_Shit._

"What does he need from me?" Sango asked defiantly, confusion evident in her brown eyes.

The footsteps were growing louder, and I could smell the stench of the beast approaching our location. I dashed to the door and turned to give Sango one last look before disappearing through the doorway. "Don't say I didn't warn you, taijiya." I shut my eyes tightly as I left the room, opening them what felt like minutes later only to still see the image in my mind's eye of her, cluelessly, innocently sitting on the bed. Confusion flecked with annoyance, anger, and defiance detailed her eyes; the expression on her face was one I could not read, however, but one I would remember for a long time.

I finally had Naraku in my eyesight. "What were you doing?" he accused.

"Making sure the wench was still in there. She is and I really don't think she tried to escape." My lie was terrible.

"Do you think I am stupid, Kagura?" asked Naraku.

I shook my head. "No." Insult him as I may, he really was not stupid by any means. He was a cunning and intelligent demon who mastered in the arts of trickery and manipulation.

"Be gone, Kagura," said Naraku as he continued towards Sango's room. "I have business to attend to."

_Sango…_

* * *

_[Sango's point of view.]_

_What was Kagura talking about? Has she gone mad?_

I was still groggy from a restless sleep. Today had been all too calm and I had yet to see any trace of Naraku himself. Kagura's hospitality on and off throughout the day confused me to no end, culminating in this late-night performance.

Just as I had decided to give sleep another try; I heard the door to my room slide open. Naraku was there, a slight grin on his face and a strange look in his red eyes. I felt my rage boil over inside of me, squashing my small desire to attempt sleep. I shot Naraku the most menacing, hateful stare I could muster. I would fight this monstrosity no matter what time of the day or night. Fuck him.

He said nothing as he took a step in my direction. I sprang to my feet, entering a fighting stance. I would likely lose yet again, but I would never go down without a fight! He slowly approached me, no indication of a pending battle whatsoever. This was… unsettling…

Naraku looked down at me and smiled. "You will no longer fight me."

"I'll fight you to the death!" I yelled, as I shoved Naraku away from me with all my might.

The demon barely faltered, then stood still for a moment. "Instead, you'll fight something else... not quite as bad as me, but pretty bad." His arrogance disgusted me; I rolled my eyes.

"No problem!" I proclaimed, finding my fire once more. "I will gladly take anything you throw at me."

Naraku walked toward me, the odd look in his eyes becoming more prevalent. What was that? I had seen that look before but not from him... _No…_ I could feel my anger begin to smolder and become slowly replaced with an ice-cold fear. I slowly backed up, until I felt my back pressing against the wall. "But first," said Naraku, "I need something from you." He cupped my face in his hands and looked into my eyes.

_Lust._

I panicked and spit in his face, before kneeing him as hard as I could in the crotch. He doubled over and I ducked around his arms, making a mad dash for the doorway. He recovered quickly and before I was able to reach my exit, I felt his arms around my waist.

"No! Let me go!" I squirmed to get away, turning and twisting, doing everything I could to land a blow or a kick on my target. He finally caved and dropped me. I scrambled to my feet once more and darted out of the bedroom, heart pounding. I made it down the hall and sharply turned a corner. I looked over my shoulder to see if he was chasing after me. When I turned back around, my eyes were met with the image of Naraku's form materializing before me at the end of the hall. I skidded to a halt and whipped around to head back in the other direction. I saw him dematerialize once more before I changed direction and I could feel panic bubbling inside me.

Naraku appeared in front of me, grabbing me by my arms as I ran right into him. "Don't defy me," he stated. He pulled his hand away from my arm and brought it to the side of my face. I noticed a vase on a small pedestal to my right and without thinking twice, I grabbed it and smashed as hard as I could into the side of Naraku's face. He let go of me with a cry of agony and brought his hands to his face. I pushed past him and ran, not giving any thought to where I was attempting to run to. I just needed to leave.

I rounded another corner, so fast I lost my footing and fell. I got up and resumed my race for escape. I stopped dead in my tracks as I took note of Kanna at the end of the hallway, blank expression on her face, mirror in hand.

"You will not escape, Sango." Her small voice was emotionless as ever, but I almost caught the slightest hint of mockery in her tone.

"SANGO!" I instinctively turned my head toward the sound of my name. Naraku stood at the other end of the hall. I was likely trapped. I glanced back at Kanna. The small girl was a personification of the void, nothing more, nothing less. Her power existed in the mirror she carried around with her; she had no conventional weapons and did not fight with brute force in battle. I took a chance and began running toward her; I would shove her out of my way if I had to.

Just as I was within mere inches of running into the demon girl, I felt Naraku's tentacles around my wrists, waist, and ankles. I struggled in his grasp and cried out, willing all my strength to allow me my freedom. Adrenaline coursed through my veins, but my limbs were growing tired. I suddenly felt myself being thrown through a wall. I was sure I bumped my head on some debris. I lay still for a moment in the small amount of rubble and then pushed myself up on my hands and knees, breathing heavily.

I let out a scream of pain as I felt a foot collide with my ribs, likely breaking at least one or two. I rolled over on my side; my arms wrapped tightly around my abdomen. I had no time at all to even attempt to recover enough to make a run for it. My assailant was quick to pull me to my feet by my shoulders. I opened my eyes to see Naraku standing before me. An evil smile adorned his pale face and he released me briefly to reach into his robes. He produced a jewel shard; it looked darker than normal.

 _What was he planning?_ Focusing was becoming largely difficult as the pain in my ribs began to spread through the rest of my body. I turned in a vain final attempt to flee only to feel Naraku's hand on the front of my kimono, pulling me back toward him. I collided with his body and then stepped back; as I did so, I saw him bring back his hand in a fist and then felt it against the side of my face. I made no sound, just clenched my jaw and squeezed my eyes shut. I could taste blood in my mouth, and I was fairly certain the blow knocked a tooth loose.

Before I could even open my eyes, I felt a burning sensation on my forehead as something small and sharp pierced my flesh. Alertness overrode my pain and my eyes snapped open to a blinding violet light that soon subsided. Naraku released me, a low evil laugh escaping him as I fell to the floor. I was on my knees, holding my face in my hands and doubled over. The new pain in my head was far worse than my broken ribs or swollen jaw; a migraine began spreading through my mind, dulling most of my senses. There was a jewel shard embedded in my forehead.

I felt Naraku pick me up and I was near powerless at this point to defend myself, between my injuries and the jewel. I think he was using it to subdue me and unfortunately, it was working. "Naraku…" I breathed, managing a meek struggle against him as he carried me down the hallway, "I will get you… whatever you're planning…"

We had returned to my room. He dropped me on the bed, and I heard the door close, hoping he was just going to leave me. He still stood by the door, grinning. I used the last ounce of my strength to stand and enter a flawed fighting stance. Naraku stepped toward me once more, backing me up against the wall. I felt a sick sense of déjà vu. I raised my hands in fists and punched his chest in vain. I could feel how weak my own hits were. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth as I felt his hand caress the side of my face.

"It's a shame I had to wreck that pretty little face of yours, but you left me no choice," his smooth words sent chills up my spine and made me feel rather sick. His other hand rested on my shoulder, his thumb brushing the fabric of my kimono to the side and soon grazing my collarbone. I stifled a yelp; fear began to fill my being.

I tried one last time to shove him away from me to no avail. My strength was literally being drained by the jewel and I was becoming slightly dizzy. Naraku pressed his body against mine and I shivered as I felt his breath against my neck. I couldn't open my eyes. I refused to.

The realization of what was about to happen hit me; the hot sting of tears engulfed my eyes. "Please… Please don't this to me…" For the first time in ages, genuine fear gripped my heart and poisoned my soul.

Naraku let out a low, sarcastic chuckle as he moved his hand from my face to my shoulder. _"Are you scared, Sango?"_

I didn't answer him. He was mocking me. I was injured, drugged, and powerless. And he was mocking me. And I couldn't stop the tears from falling.

His touch seemed to burn through my clothing as I felt his hands travel down my arms; he tried to pull me closer and I struggled weakly. "Please don't do this! I won't let you! I'll—" I actually managed to free myself from his loose grasp and duck around him, only to fall in the drug-induced stupor the tainted jewel shard had given me. Naraku caught me around my waist as I fell, only to shove me forcefully to the ground. I tried to crawl away from him but was stopped as he grabbed my ankle and pulled me back, positioning himself on top of me.

He grabbed my wrists and pinned my hands above my head before planting a violent, unwanted kiss on my lips. I turned my head, trying to break that connection. I was crying now, not even trying to stop it and feign courage. The haze from the jewel shard was taking its toll and I was barely able to move my limbs at this point, however, I continued my struggle in vain.

Naraku returned a harsh kiss to my mouth, his teeth grazing my lower lip as he pulled away. "Stop! Please get off me, please don't do this!" I cried out one final time; each word was a battle of its own. He released one hand from my wrist and brought it to my shoulder, running his hand down my chest and my stomach. I winced in pain as the contact brushed against my broken ribs. He held both my hands above my head in one hand and began to untie the obi on my kimono with the other.

I knew what was about to happen. I tried desperately to think of a way to get him off me but between the pain and the jewel shard clouding my mind, I was at a loss. I finally opened my eyes, allowing streams of tears to flow freely. I mentally begged for anything to happen to interrupt this—for anyone to show up and stop him, even Kagura or Kanna… but I knew that would never happen. He managed to untie my obi and then quite literally ripped my kimono off my body.

I could feel his hungry gaze on me, but I refused to make eye contact with him. I couldn't. I let out a sob and bit my lip.

"I thought you were a warrior, a fighter," said Naraku, "I thought you were strong. Only the weak cry, Sango." He wiped my tears with the back of his hand before turning his attention to my exposed chest. I instinctively tried to pull away as he squeezed my breast and pushed his weight against me. "Why the struggle?" he mocked me once more. I could feel something hard against my thigh and my heart rate increased with panic. A cry of fear escaped my lips as I felt his hand between my legs, pushing hard against me.

Naraku chuckled darkly. "Still a virgin, my dear?" His sickening tone made me want to throw up. His words alone made me feel disgusting. He pulled my underwear down, then began to undress himself. I was powerless to stop him. I could feel him staring at my naked body and I braced myself for what I knew was coming.

Immense, unbearable, sharp pain tore through me and I screamed out in agony as he entered me. The pain was blinding and only increased with his movements. Overwhelming, unwanted sensations wracked my broken, beaten body, coupled with sobs. Tears streamed down my face as I felt blood trickle down my leg. I was weak. I let this happen to me. I was powerless. I was not a fighter. Warriors did not let things like this happen to them. He had taken the last thing I had. I had lost my family, my home, my honor, my friends, and my innocence.

* * *

_[Kagura's point of view.]_

I sat on the rooftop, listening in disgust to the slayer's screams of pain and terror. No matter which rooftop I chose, I could still hear her. My heart broke for the young woman. I knew all too well what she was going through. I sighed and covered my sensitive ears with my hands. "Naraku is a monster… she may be his enemy but there is no reason for what he is doing to her…"

I thought of the events yet to come, the evil plot that was unfolding before my very eyes. He was going to make her fight, even after this abuse. He was going to test both her and the latest iteration in his series of insults against living dignity. My mind wandered to the "errand" he sent me on earlier today. I was sent as damage control, to clean up his mess. I was instructed to bury the dead but bring back the freshest corpse. And burn the earth behind me. Terrorizing humans sometimes left a bad taste in my mouth. I was no human sympathizer; however, I just didn't care one way or the other. They gave me no reason to kill them, my only poor motivation was Naraku's literal clutch on my heart. At least those demons had a fighting chance…

I looked down. Blood still stained my robes and my feet were covered in dirt. I could still feel related filth on my face and in my hair. I looked up at the sky, watching dark clouds rolling in to block the crescent moon from sight. I wished for it to rain. Maybe the rainfall would block out the sounds of her screaming and wash away my accumulated sins.

* * *

_[Sango's point of view.]_

_Breathe… breathe… breathe…_

My mind was blank.

I lay on the floor, naked, bloodied, shaking from both fear and the cold. My head was throbbing, and every inch of my body burned with pain. My consciousness finally started to fade.

I heard a voice—sounded like it was underwater. _Was I drowning? Was I dying… again?_

 _"Naraku…"_ The voice was distorted, high and quiet. _"Is she dead?"_

 _"No,"_ I felt hands on my shoulders, pulling me up. I had no strength left and I fell forward, my face colliding with the ground. I barely moved my arms, wanting to rise for some reason. Failure. I felt hands on my shoulders once more, forcing me to a kneeling position. I bit back tears and pain; I couldn't keep my head up. Claws gripped my shoulders and I let out the smallest whimper of pain. A hand pulled on my long hair, forcing me to hold my head up. "OPEN YOUR EYES!" The movement was not my own.

I stared ahead, barely making out the vision of the little demon girl with the mirror, clad in all white, reeking of soullessness. My vision was blurry and for a moment I was seeing double of her. The mirror in her hands began to glow a faint red color, which seemed to pulse twice. I felt searing pain start in my forehead and begin to travel throughout my being. The red glow from the mirror formed a tangible mist that appeared to be leaving the mirror and heading toward me. The mist connected in a line from Kanna's mirror to the jewel shard in my forehead and I felt the burning sensation culminate at the location.

The jewel shard popped out of my forehead with a sickening crack and with that, I let the sweet darkness of unconsciousness claim me as I collapsed.

* * *

_[Kagura's point of view.]_

I had finally left my makeshift refuge on the rooftop and come inside to clean up. I noticed the screaming stopped and I wondered briefly if Naraku had killed her after all. I slowly traversed the halls of the castle, making my way to my chambers. When I reached my own hall, I happened to pass by Kanna, shortly followed by Naraku.

I couldn't keep my mouth shut. "You're a monster, Naraku." I stopped and turned to look at him. He stopped as well, never once facing me. An uneasy silence and tension fell between us. "One day, I _will_ be free of you. I do not wish to be continuously associated with your atrocities."

"Is that so, Kagura?"

"Fuck you."

He stood there and I regretted my words for a moment. He let out a small, dark laugh and resumed his pace. I stayed still for a while, wanting to make sure he was gone before making my next move.

I entered the room across from mine and shut the door quietly behind me. I shook my head at the sight. Sango was lying on the floor, covered in bruises and her own blood. I crouched down next to the taijiya, and gently rolled her over onto her back. I examined the small, bloody indent in her forehead. _Jewel shard…_ I had heard the commotion during their initial chase, and I was aware that a room was now in ruins from a body being thrown through a wall during their fight. She did not give up easily. Naraku must have restrained her with that jewel shard he was holding on to.

Her eyes fluttered open and she gasped for breath. Her movement startled me; I was beginning to fall under the assumption she had been killed.

 _"Ka…gu…ra…?"_ she sounded out my name weakly, each syllable a challenge.

I was completely shocked she was still alive. _If she can survive this, then she has my respect._ Sango tried to lift her head but failed. She closed her eyes and cried silently.

"Everything hurts…" Her voice sounded so broken and meek. It didn't sound like her at all. I felt the strangest mixture of emotions invading my being. I felt pity for her, empathy even, although Naraku had never used and abused me quite as badly as this… She was one of my most lethal opponents in battle, yet she lay before me, savagely defeated, in the worst way. This angered me to see such a graceful warrior cut down so brutally and unfairly. She closed her eyes and fell unconscious once more.

Alarmed, I put my fingers to her neck to check for a pulse. It was there, stronger than I'd expected. She wouldn't die just yet. I silently promised I wouldn't let that happen. I left her to enter the washroom attached to the bedroom and returned with a bucket of water and a cloth. I knelt beside Sango and dipped the cloth into the water. "How you've survived, I'll never know…" I spoke softly, unsure really if my words were really directed at the sleeping girl or if I was simply speaking my thoughts aloud. I began wiping the blood and dirt from her fair skin. I would be sure to mix some medicinal salve and tend to her injuries as well.

"You should have died twice by now, I think…" I had finished cleaning her face the best I could, and I took the time to study her. She possessed soft features; long eyelashes, thin eyebrows, a small mouth with full pink lips. Her chin was small, but she had a strong jawline. She was actually quite beautiful, her delicate characteristics framed and balanced nicely by a somewhat angular facial structure and high cheekbones. Even as she slept, battered and bruised, she still held a look of determination on her young face, something I admired.

 _"I'm sorry…"_ I apologized to the sleeping girl before me. I brushed her bangs to the side and tucked a few stray hairs behind her ear. "You're better than this." I looked up, at nothing in particular. _I'm better than this._

"You'll live. You're stronger than you think, Sango."


	5. Chapter Four: The Fallen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: "The Fallen" by Suicide Silence]

_[Kagura's point of view.]_

"So, what? Is she going to be like her zombie shard puppet brother now? What the hell have you done?" I crossed my arms and leaned against the wall near the doorway. I knew part of the answer to my own question, but I thought it wise to play dumb, at least a little.

Naraku reached into his pocket and pulled out the tainted jewel shard, now a dark purple, almost black. " _That_ is to be seen and proven…" Naraku stated, examining the jewel up close, a lust for power sparkling in his eyes. I couldn't help but narrow my eyes at him and shake my head in disgust. "All I did was combine some of her very apparent negative energy with one of my jewel shards. Nothing more, nothing less."

Naraku set the jewel shard down on a table, next to one of his many golems awaiting to be chosen. He looked to a mirror in the corner of the room. I made it a point to stay out of this room in particular, but the mirror also caught my eye. It seemed out of place here. For a moment, I thought I saw something move within it. I leaned forward and craned my neck to do a double take. Must have been a trick of the light. This place was beginning to give me the creeps, more than usual.

"Naraku, if you will allow it, I would like to take my leave."

He was silent for a moment. "You may." I was shocked at his answer. I was out the doorway in moments, sliding the double blood-red doors closed behind me as I left. I stood at the bottom of the stairs and took a deep breath. The energy in there was far more toxic than normal…

I nearly jumped out of my skin as I felt a force of some kind violently shake the walls, floor, and send a gust of… something… out from the cracks in the doors behind me. I spun around and pulled the doors back open and ran inside. The sight before me was utterly terrifying and I clapped my hand over my mouth to stifle a scream.

The dead woman I had been ordered to retrieve from Naraku's latest massacre was floating before me in the middle of the room, still covered in blood and dirt. She was my height and looked to be a few years younger than I was designed as. She had dark red hair and amethyst eyes. The marking of a yin-yang in the shape of a heart adorned her forehead and she had tribal markings on her arms and legs. _Her face, though…_

She was missing most of the skin on the right side of her face, bone and mangled muscle exposed. I also noticed that her left foot was twisted at an unnatural angle and there was a bloody hole in her abdomen. She let out a banshee-esque scream and fell out of suspended animation to the floor. She lay motionless for minutes. _Is she dead again?_ No. She slowly rose to her hands and knees, gasping for breath. I glimpsed a purple twinkle in her mauled back. _Jewel shard. Again._

"Naraku, what the hell is this?" I asked, my voice cracking a little. This girl was more than the living dead. With her wounds, she _should not_ have even been considered a viable candidate for resurrection. When I discovered her corpse at the gravesite, she was dead as dead can be.

"Can you feel your body now, Rouge?" asked Naraku, ignoring my questioning.

"Yes," said the girl, apparently named Rouge.

"How do you feel?" asked Naraku, once more.

She paused, her gaze never leaving the floor. "I… don't know…" I glimpsed her furrow her brows in thought. I about choked when I realized her face was slowly growing less destroyed. _"Did I die?"_

A cruel smile played at the corner of Naraku's lip. "Maybe…"

_"Am I in hell?"_

Naraku turned from her and took a few steps away, no doubt for dramatic effect. "No." He turned his head back toward Rouge. "You are not in hell. Although, you did die."

Her eyes widened. "Tell me, sir… how did it happen? How did I die?"

A deadly, playful look flitted across Naraku's features. "Funny you should ask…" He took a deep breath before turning around and walking back toward Rouge. He crouched down to her level and the two made eye contact. She looked so pleading, so desperate. "Do you really not remember?" His voice dripped with feigned pity and shock. She looked away from him, obviously racking her brain for any hint of memory.

 _"Why can't I remember?!"_ Panic was evident in her voice as she put her hands to her temples in frustration, her claws digging into her scalp.

 _"How about now?"_ Naraku reached out and placed his palm to Rouges face, centering on her forehead.

She gasped and then pushed herself away from his touch. "NO! Yokama! Damien! _My sister!_ " She buried her face in her hands. I could smell her tears.

"You were killed by a demon slayer, a very notoriously dangerous one," Naraku began his tall tale. "She attacked your small family because word got around that a sole survivor remained of the infamous fire demon clan."

Rouge sat on the floor; her wounds almost completely healed now. " _I can't remember… I can't see her face… Our murderer…"_ The young demon's confusion piqued my interest. Mayhaps this was someone smart enough to see right through Naraku's bullshit on the first go-around. "I just keep seeing them fall…"

"It will come to you in time, my dear," Naraku stood up and offered her his hand, "I can help you with that. I know the identity of the taijiya who murdered you and your comrades."

 _"All three of them?!"_ Rouge exclaimed.

"You saw it yourself," Naraku stated, "Damien, Yokama, _and_ Ami… all slain viciously at the hands of a trained killer with no remorse."

"Tell me who killed them. Give me the name of the one who committed this atrocity." Rouge reached up and took Naraku's hand.

Naraku smiled evilly as he helped Rouge to her feet. Her legs shook and she fell into him. Naraku caught her and brushed her crimson hair out of her face.

"I don't know that I can walk…"

Naraku placed his hand on her back and the jewel shard pulsed a violent amethyst, matching Rouge's eyes. Her eyes widened and she stiffened before taking a few steps away from Naraku, looking down at herself for the first time since her resurrection.

"You've been dead for two days," said Naraku.

Rouge looked up at him and then back down at her now flawless form. No signs of her downfall remained. "My injuries-! They're—"

 _"Healed,"_ Naraku finished for her. "It's amazing, the powers of the sacred Shikon jewel. Surely, you have heard of it?"

"Heard of, yes," said Rouge, holding her hands in front of her face and examining them, "never caught my interest, personally."

"What a shame, Rouge," said Naraku, "the jewel holds so much power, so many demons—and even humans—desire its wonders…"

Rouge lowered her hands to her sides. "I am the last in a line of powerful fire demons, sir. With all due respect, I have no need for such a thing. The Shikon jewel is sought after by those who lack the innate strength that I possess." She was confident. I could not decide if that was a good or bad thing yet.

"You say that…" Naraku circled her and then brushed his fingertips over the small bump on her back, where the jewel shard was imbedded. "There is a sacred Shikon jewel shard implanted in your back right now. It is what enabled your resurrection. It is what healed the wounds of your death so quickly and flawlessly." He let go of her and walked a few paces away once more, clasping his hands behind his back.

"Did you bring me back?" she asked.

"Yes, I did…"

"Why? I don't even know your name but clearly you know mine…" Rouge stated with suspicion.

"I am Naraku," he answered loudly, narcissism evident in his voice.

Rouge narrowed her eyes, deep in thought. I wondered if there was some history there that she was unable to access. "Never heard of you," was Rouge's answer. I was a little disappointed.

"I try to keep to myself," proclaimed Naraku. _Hilarious._ I almost laughed out loud at his nonsense. "I have been gathering jewel shards myself so that I can make it whole once more and protect it from the likes of evil, both demon and human alike."

"Last I checked, the Shikon jewel ceased to exist," said Rouge.

"Yes… Fifty years ago, it perished with the corpse of the priestess Kikyo who guarded it. It has since made a return and was shattered by an imbecile half-demon and Kikyo's poor excuse for a reincarnation."

Rouge raised an eyebrow. "So, it _is_ true, then… Kikyo walks once more."

"You know of Kikyo?" asked Naraku.

"She fought my sister before."

"Ah…"

"Speaking of my sister, Naraku… what is the name of her killer? You said you knew. And again, why did you bring me back?"

The most cunning, evil look spread across Naraku's features. "Ah, yes… I resurrected you so you could make your peace and avenge your fallen comrades. I learned of your plight through the mirror of my disciple, Kanna." He gestured to Kanna, who had apparently been standing in the doorway behind me for quite some time now. I had no ill will toward my "sister", but the girl really creeped me out at times. _Disciple…_ I tried hard to keep my mouth shut once more.

"I like to keep track of both leads on jewel shard locations and the whereabouts of my enemies," said Naraku. "Scrying through Kanna's mirror alerted me to the then-current activities of the demon slayer…"

"She is your enemy, too, then?" asked Rouge.

"Yes," confirmed Naraku, "she travels with the hanyou and false priestess who shattered the jewel. Them, an evil monk, a hellcat, and a kitsune they've brainwashed. They seek the jewel so they can make it whole again, but to use it to increase their own power. From what I gather, the hanyou and priestess are the main conspirators and the others are merely pawns to aid their conquest."

Rouge laughed darkly and put a hand over her face. "Why me?"

"Do you not want to avenge your clan? Your brother-in-law, your sister, _your fiancé_?" I liked Rouge's skepticism, but I feared she was about to take Naraku's bait.

"Well, yeah, but… this can't be a mere coincidence…"

"You've caught my bluff, Rouge," Naraku half-confessed. "When I realized who exactly it was that had perished at the hands of the taijiya, I thought not only was this a tragic end to the fire demon clan; I also saw an opportunity arise. If I were able to use the jewel for good, to bring you back to avenge your people, you could also aid me in my small war against the half-demon and priestess. You're powerful, Rouge—you said so yourself. We could make a fantastic alliance, and for the greater good…"

Rouge turned her head, staring off into space. She was very deep in thought, no doubt weighing her options and deciphering Naraku's words. I could not get the best read on her yet, but I had reason to believe she had been at least a neutral party in life, maybe even walking on the "good" side of things… I wished from the safety of my mind that she would not believe him.

The tension in the room finally broke as Rouge spoke up. "Alright, Naraku," she said, "you have yourself a deal. Now, tell me the name of the one who killed my family."

Naraku smirked evilly. "Her name is Sango."

The loss and hurt in Rouge's amethyst eyes slowly became replaced with anger and a lust for vengeance. I could feel her energy shift, her aura growing stronger with the rage currently fueling her existence. Her own demonic aura was growing almost as strong as what I've felt in Sesshomaru's presence.

"Where can I find this Sango?" asked Rouge, anger evident in each word.

"Not so fast," said Naraku. "Surely, you'll want your armor back, and your sword, first?"

"You have them?" asked Rouge.

Naraku nodded. "Come with me. I'll ensure you are fit for your hunt." Naraku turned and headed toward the door, in my direction. He walked past me as if I were not even there, and stopped just past the doorway, turning to look at Rouge.

"Naraku," said Rouge, "I'll avenge my family and I'll assist you in your own battle. When this is all over, though, I have only one wish: please let me join my loved ones in the afterlife."

"Your wish is my command," Naraku stated dryly and motioned for us all to leave the room. He stepped out first, followed closely by Kanna, and finally Rouge.

I stepped out of their way and watched them depart and then glanced back into the room, knowing damn well what all else was hidden away in there.

"Kagura!" called Naraku. I turned to look at him. "Come. There is nothing more for us here."

Rouge stopped and turned to face me. "Kagura…" she said my name. I was unsure at this point if she would be my enemy or not.

"Kagura is my other… disciple…" explained Naraku. Oh, I hated him so much... I heard enough of his lies and treachery for the day; my bullshit threshold was just about at its breaking point. Naraku cast me a warning glare. I was likely not hiding my expression very well…

"Kagura is a bit… temperamental…" Naraku tried to explain away my silence and distasteful expression. "She is still learning my ways… try to stay away from her, Rouge. Some days she can be a bad influence."

I shot an angry glare in his direction and finally stepped out of the room and stood at the bottom of the stairs. Naraku snapped his fingers and the doors behind me slid shut and the chains and locks became animated all on their own, locking the room up tight, sealed with an extra precaution of dark magic. To keep people like me out.

My heart was in there.


	6. Chapter Five: Fillthee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: "Fillthee" by Otep]

_[Sango's point of view.]_

I slowly opened my eyes, catching a glimpse of the sun's rays pouring through the window in my room. The brightness hurt my eyes and awoke a splitting pain in my skull, stemming from my forehead. I groaned and pulled the blankets up over my head, blocking out the offending light.

Everything hurt. My entire body ached worse than ever before, including my literal fight for life after the slaughter of my family and friends on the very grounds of this godforsaken castle, as I had clawed myself out of my own grave. Memories of the previous night slowly seeped into my consciousness and I rolled out of bed and made a run for the bathroom. I didn't make it. I was stopped by a terrible pain that exploded in my lower abdomen, hips, and legs the moment my feet hit the floor.

I collapsed to my hands and knees and threw up on the floor. I remembered last night… I wish I couldn't…

_I was raped._

The thought was not even complete in my mind. I tried to remain as detached from it as possible, refusing acknowledgement. I began to cry and heaved once more through my sobbing. I sat and scooted my back to the wall and hugged my knees to my chest. I winced in pain, my own actions reminding me of broken ribs, in addition to my broken soul. I sat there and cried for what felt like an eternity.

 _He has taken everything from me…_ This cruel epiphany shook me to my core. I had nothing left to give. I had nothing to offer the world. I couldn't even save myself… so how can I save anyone else? Clearly, I did not fight hard enough, I wasn't strong enough… Naraku had killed my brothers- and sisters-in-arms, killed my father, plundered my village, taken my little brother and turned him into his own personal foot soldier, carrying out his dark deeds. Naraku had taken me away from my newfound family ( _I allowed him to take me_ …). And lastly, Naraku had taken the last scrap of anything I had to call my own, any illusion of honor I could cling to.

I was no longer innocent. The last semblance of any innocence I had left was stolen from me. I never considered myself to be "pure"; I was forced to grow up at a young age. My mother passed away soon after Kohaku was born from complications during childbirth. I was only five years old at the time. Since Father was the Headman of our village and, also the captain of the demon slayers, I was often tasked with watching over Kohaku and ended up raising him for the most part. When I wasn't watching my brother, I was training to become a demon slayer, to continue the family tradition as the eldest child. Per Father, I was not only trained to become a deadly force on the battlefield and carry on our heritage, but also to defend myself and Kohaku. This was the highest honor, one not bestowed upon women. Father was unique like that.

 _"You are the eldest and it is your responsibility to keep Kohaku safe. Keep yourself safe."_ Father's words echoed in my mind.

On top of basically raising my brother, I had been exposed to violence at a very young age. I began training at age seven and I went on my first demon extermination when I was ten years old. By then, I was no stranger to brutality. The event was a success and I soon accompanied my father and our companions on many missions. By sixteen, I was revered as one of the best slayers in my village, using hiraikotsu with ease and maneuvering the battlefield with calculation and grace.

_Sixteen._

Sixteen was also the year I lost everyone. The year I had to watch my dearest little brother become possessed and slaughter my father and our brothers- and sisters-in-arms one by one. He murdered them in cold blood under the spell of demonic possession and then turned his blade toward me. Then I had to watch him get shot down by arrows, just as he had broken free of the possession and realized what he had done. _I should have died. Maybe I did die…_

Being buried alive was the second most terrifying experience of my life, beaten only by watching Kohaku become possessed and kill the people closest to me, closest to us. I was still visited by the rare nightmare of clawing my way out of my own grave, well over a year later. I could still feel the suffocation of the dirt around me, the terror of not knowing which way was up or down and being completely disoriented, on top of the added sensory overload of broken bones and open wounds being polluted by dirt and grime. I shuddered at the memory, feeling a tightness in my chest as if I were still suffocating.

_Seventeen._

At seventeen, exhuming my own grave would likely become a pleasant memory. That experience paled in comparison to the horrors I experienced last night. I always heard stories back home in the village about women who had fallen in this way…

I pushed the related thoughts away and tried to ground myself by focusing on my surroundings. _I am still alive. I am still breathing._

_Kohaku is still alive. Kohaku is here, somewhere…_

I didn't even notice anyone enter the room until I felt a presence beside me and a gentle hand on my shoulder. I quickly turned my head, slightly alarmed by the contact. Kagura was kneeling beside me.

Confusion and adrenaline welled up inside me and I shrugged her hand off my shoulder and hastily moved away from her. "Get away from me!"

_The audacity of this incarnation!_

I started crying again, unable to stop myself. I hated myself even more for it.

"Look, slayer…" started Kagura, her voice soft and… empathic? " _Sango_ …" She said my name and I looked in her direction. Through the blur of my tears, I could make out a pained expression on her face. _Was that… compassion in her eyes?_

She continued, in an uncharacteristically soft tone, "I'm sorry." She looked away from me, directing her attention to the window. "What Naraku did to you was just… horrible beyond words…"

I blinked at her, confused at this display of compassion, so different from what I expected of her. I wasn't sure what to say. What _could_ I say?

The wind sorceress stood up and offered me her hand. I looked up at her, the sting of fresh tears staining my cheeks. I let out a deep breath and reached out to her. She gripped my hand in hers, a firm but gentle hold, and helped me to my feet. I hissed in pain as she helped me stand; my legs threatening to betray me. Kagura steadied me by placing a hand on my waist, her other still holding my hand. I looked at her, dumbly, before sitting down on the bed. She took a seat next to me.

We sat in silence for what seemed like forever. I couldn't tell if there was an awkward tension in the room or not; my mind kept darting back and forth from the present, to my past, and threatening to venture into the dangerous memory of last night. I was thankful for her presence, at least as a distraction from my inner demons.

It was only then that I noticed I was wearing clean clothes and I could feel bandages tightly secured around my abdomen and chest. A new wrap also adorned my dominant hand, still healing from my recent boxer's fracture. I brought my fingertips to my forehead and felt a small bandage covering the hole left from the tainted jewel shard. I then ran my hands through my hair and noticed it was up in a high but shorter ponytail. I was initially pissed off that someone had cut my hair without my permission, but my anger was overridden by gratitude.

I turned to Kagura, feeling my mood begin to swing again. "Did you help me?"

Kagura nodded shyly, looking away from me.

"Why?"

"Because," said Kagura, "I want out of here. And I know you do, too." I nodded in agreement. I needed to leave this hellhole as soon as possible. "You aren't that bad. And I suppose that Inuyasha and your other friends aren't that bad, either." The wind demon looked in my direction once more. "And I want Naraku's head on a _fucking plate_."

I felt a flicker of resolve spark from within me. Was Kagura offering an alliance?

"You and I are kindred spirits, in a way," Kagura spoke as if she could read my mind. "He's hurt you in ways most can never even fathom." We made eye contact and I caught a glimmer of hurt in her own ruby irises. Anger and guilt lived there, too. I felt sick again at the brief thought that she too had been a victim of Naraku's perverted display of power. I could not know for sure, though. And it certainly was not my place to ask such a question.

 _Anger._ I was so angry. More than before. I had been wronged in the worst way.

"You have a chip on your shoulder," Kagura observed. "You have done nothing but protect and now you need protection. You have done nothing but serve the world during your short life and the world has given you nothing but grief in return." I felt attacked but said nothing and showed nothing to evidence my feelings of exposure.

"How old are you, Sango?" Kagura asked.

"Seventeen," I answered quietly. "I'll be eighteen in a month."

"Hm. In comparison to demon years, you're close to me. Or at least, what I was created to be." Kagura looked at me and I looked back. I felt like her ruby eyes were peering into my soul. "We're far too young for all we've been through, you and I," she continued. "I know there's more to life than this. I am the wind, which cannot be contained. And yet here I am…" She gazed longingly out the window, a frown on her face.

"And you," she turned back to me, "you are a warrior, not a victim. You are a bringer of death to all things evil, a harbinger of destruction and a keeper of peace all at the same time. You're not a prisoner of war."

"And yet, here I am…" I echoed her earlier statement.

We were silent once more. Until I decided to test the waters with a question. "So, what was with the jewel shard?" I rubbed my still-aching forehead.

"That's the fun part," she said sarcastically.

"What?"

"There's this demon…"

"I think I know where this is going," I piped up. "Another incarnation? Another captive?"

Kagura sighed and ran her hand through her hair. To my surprise, she laid back on the bed and stared at the ceiling, seemingly lost in thought.

"What?" I asked again.

"Just…" she closed her eyes. "Just promise me you'll stay in here today, yes?"

"Why?"

"At least you're safe here, for now," said Kagura. She opened her eyes once more and looked at me, a troubled expression on her pale face. "Naraku has allied himself with a powerful fire demon. I have yet to assess her general attribute and stance on most things, but I know she is a force to be reckoned with."

"Oh? Is she here?"

"Yes."

Hmm… a new demon… This should be interesting.

"Do you know anything else about her?"

"Her name is Rouge. I know that she was the last of her lineage—a family of powerful fire demons from the Northern coast. I know Naraku killed her mother when she was a young child, deeming her a threat. I am unsure of what happened to her father. Until recently, Naraku was unaware of Rouge's existence. She must have been a considerable threat as well, seeing as Naraku brutally murdered her, her adoptive sister who raised her, her brother-in-law, and fiancé."

"So, he brought her back with a tainted jewel shard…"

"Yep."

"Why?"

"Power and intimidation," answered Kagura. "I know for a fact he wants to use her against Inuyasha. She's powerful, Sango. Her demonic aura alone rivals that of Inuyasha's older brother." That was a scary thought. Especially when combined with the endless possibilities of manipulation tactics Naraku was using on this woman. _Hell hath no fury, I suppose…_

Silence overcame us once more, broken eventually by Kagura. "Let me get this place cleaned up and I'll bring you some tea and something to eat."

Food sounded terrible but I could go for some tea.

* * *

I had fallen into a fitful sleep next to Kagura, my dreams filled with warped renditions of my worst memories.

_Dirt and mud surrounded me. I couldn't breathe. I opened my eyes but could not see. A panic switch was flicked on in my mind and I tried to move my arms and legs with all my strength. The dirt and rock loosened around me and it became easier for me to move. I clawed at the dirt and tried to scream but it was stifled. What felt like a lifetime later, I could see light._

_I burst from the ground and screamed in agony at the blinding pain originating from my back. I managed to pull myself out of the grave and collapsed, breathing heavily. I rolled over and opened my eyes._

_Kohaku stood over me, kusarigama in hand, his eyes emotionless. He was covered in blood and bruises._

_"Kohaku!" I called out to him._

_"Look what you let him do to me…" His voice was flat, yet tears welled in his eyes._

_"Kohaku, no! I would never! I'll protect you always, I swear—"_

_I looked up at him and he turned the blade on himself._

_"I can't live like this, Sango…"_

"NO!" I jolted awake, shaking, cold sweat drenching my body. _It was just a nightmare…_

"Sango?" Kagura sat up, next to me. She seemed a little disoriented. Had she also fallen asleep?

I looked in her direction, fear still gripping my heart. Every time I closed my eyes, I was cursed with the false memory of my brother ending his own life. I was slipping…

"Hey," the wind sorceress' voice pulled me back to the present as she placed her hand on my shoulder. I stiffened at her touch, nothing personally against her. "Nightmare?" I nodded quietly. I could feel my heart rate finally beginning to reach a normal pace. "Let's go for a walk," she offered. She stood up and held out her hands.

The unpleasant and familiar sting of tears plagued my eyes. "Kagura…" I didn't know if I could walk. I couldn't even stand earlier. I grabbed her hands and let her help me up. I shut my eyes and gritted my teeth. Kagura slowly released my hands and I took a few steps. Pain was still present in my hips and between my legs, although it was more of a dull ache now as opposed to this morning.

 _"Dammit!"_ I stumbled. To my surprise, Kagura was quick to catch me. I felt so weak… and helpless. We made eye contact and I became hyper aware of her arms around me. Her eyes were tinted with a mixture of unreadable emotions, nothing I could pinpoint for sure. My own head was a mess as well; I could feel my mood swinging violently from anger to confusion to depression all within minutes in an unpredictable, vicious cycle.

"Here," she gently placed her hands on my hips, steadying me. "Put your hands on my shoulders." I did as instructed. She took a few careful steps backward and I stepped forward to match. Slivers of pain still circulated through my body. I cast my gaze down at our feet, watching my steps. Kagura let go of me and I instinctively gripped her shoulders tighter, not wanting to fall again. She stepped backward once more, and I followed slowly. I looked up and was met with a small smile gracing her features. I felt a small spark of renewed strength; I released her and boldly took a few steps without her aid. It still hurt but I was beginning to habituate to the pain.

A hopeful smile spread across Kagura's face and she took my hand in hers. "Come on! It looks quite nice outside today. I think we could both use some sunlight." She led me to the bedroom door and opened it, looking both ways before leading me out into the hallway. She guided me through many halls before we finally reached an exit. Kagura opened the doors and I was surprised to see a beautiful pond with a bridge crossing over it, leading into a path on the other side, into the edge of a forest. My sight was overwhelmed by beautiful blues and greens painting my surroundings.

We walked the perimeter of the grounds for a while; I took this time to try to gain my strength back to an extent. Neither of us said much. My attention was directed to the novelty of my current surroundings for the most part; the natural beauty of the location did a decent job of distracting me from my inner turmoil. We stopped next to the pond and Kagura sat down first. I slowly lowered myself beside her, aches and pains plaguing my muscles and bones.

The water was calming. A gentle breeze danced across the pond, causing ripples to form on the surface. Upon closer inspection, I realized the water was a clean, clear blue with hints of turquoise mixed within the depths. A handful of koi fish were visible traversing the water, occasionally swimming nearby but fleeing at any sudden movements from either of us.

Kagura pulled up the lengths of her kimonos and tucked them into her obi. She moved closer to the edge of the pond and dipped her feet into the water. She flashed a small smile in my direction before staring off in the distance, toward the forest. I scooted closer to the pond and hung my legs in the water. I could feel the cool, calming sensation up to my knees and I watched the water still slightly until I could see my reflection.

I was immediately angered at the girl staring up at me from the water. I didn't look like me. I looked weak. Injured. Three red marks graced the left side of my face and my jaw was swollen on the right side. I caught a glimpse of a bruise on my neck and I angrily punched the water, shattering my reflection. "It's not fair!"

"No. No, it's not." Kagura agreed.

I raised my dominant hand in front of my face, taking note of the wrap still holding my fingers together and cursing myself for getting it wet just now. _Goddamnit…_

I pulled at the grass beside me, feeling anxious all of a sudden. I felt absolutely disgusting, inside and out. I knew Kagura had taken time to tend to my wounds and bathe me last night. I had clean clothes. None of it seemed to matter at the moment. _Filthy… Unclean…_ I nervously ran my hand through my hair, pulling it out of the ponytail and feeling for the first time how short it was, just above my shoulders.

"Did you cut my hair?" I asked.

"Yes…" Kagura sighed. "You were in bad shape last night. Blood everywhere—it was matted in your hair pretty bad. I couldn't brush it out. I'm sorry."

I was still mad. My anger was quick to subside, though. I had much bigger problems to worry about right now. "Don't apologize," I said, tying my hair back up.

Kagura chuckled lightly. "What?" I asked.

"You kind of look like your brother, with your hair like that," she stated, the slightest smirk on her face.

"How lovely," I said with sarcasm, not exactly thrilled, or surprised. I glared at her, trying my best to look genuinely mad.

"You're prettier than him, though," said Kagura.

I raised an eyebrow. "Still pretty?" I didn't even know…

"Still pretty." The wind sorceress smiled at me and I felt another mess of emotions begin to break apart in my brain. I looked away from her and focused on the water once more. _Still pretty_ …

The calm before the storm, I knew it. Kanna's small, emotionless voice piped up behind us, shattering this odd moment of serenity.

"Naraku requests you both at once," said the demon child.

"Oh? Are we being summoned?" asked Kagura, a playful anger in her voice.

Kanna nodded and turned around. "Please follow me."

Kagura raised a questioning eyebrow and looked at me like I had answers. I shrugged and looked to the small demon clad in white. Kagura stood and then helped me up. We followed Kanna across the grounds and back into the castle. I really did not want to go back in there.

Kanna led us through the many twists and turns of the architecture until we reached a grand set of doors. The doors opened all on their own, revealing a long, red carpet leading up to a throne. Naraku sat there, a bored look on his face; that quickly changed once he saw us. I felt my stomach twist as my anxiety fully settled in. We stopped about ten paces in front of him and Kagura bowed. I refused.

Until I felt Kagura's hand grip the hem of my kimono, pulling me down to the ground. _"Do it…"_ she mumbled out the side of her mouth. I caved and bowed, feeling my customary rage coming back, replacing the useless anxiety.

"Kagura," said Naraku. _"Sango…"_ He said my name and I wanted to combust. I said nothing and gritted my teeth, remaining low to the ground in a bow. I clenched my fists, digging my nails into my palms.

Naraku stood up and stepped toward us. I felt a lump form in my throat while my heart skipped a beat or two. I disliked this learned fear reaction—my body was betraying my aggression and my brain was torn between 'fight' and 'flight.' I would not look up at him. I didn't know what would happen if I did…

"Sango," he said my name once more, igniting the flames of my hatred, "I have a question for you…"

I saw Kagura turn her head toward me, out of my peripheral vision; and I felt her foot nudging my shin. A warning I would not heed. What else did I have to lose at this point?

Naraku crouched down in front of us and placed his hand to my face. I shivered, still refusing to look at him. "My dear," _Don't call me that_ … _"How was it?"_

 _Did he just ask me-?!_ My eyes widened and I finally made eye contact with him, so far past the point of rage. _I didn't even have words—_

I shook with anger, my face as red as this monster's eyes. I spit right in his face and bared my teeth at him like an angry animal. _"You motherfucker…"_ His eyes widened in shock. I lunged at him, managing to wrap my hands around his throat. "HOW _DARE_ YOU ASK ME THAT!"

Before I could do any real damage, I felt his knee collide with my already-broken ribs and I cried out in pain, stumbling away from him. I doubled over, trying to alleviate the pain. Naraku was quick to get back on his feet; he took a few steps toward me and knelt down, anger all over his features. He swung his arm back and then slapped me across the face with the back of his hand. I swear I saw stars for a moment, from the amount of force he used.

Naraku stood. He moved like he was going to strike me again and I flinched noticeably. He laughed evilly. "Know your fucking place." I rubbed the side of my face and watched him walk away from me. I looked to Kagura who was now kneeling beside me, eyeing me with concern. I swear I heard her whisper my name…

"Sango," said Naraku from across the room, "There is someone I would like you to meet…"

_Excellent—another one of his freaks…_

Naraku snapped his fingers and called out, "Rouge! It's time to avenge your family!"

I heard footsteps behind me and turned to see a demon girl enter the room. She had dark crimson-red hair and her eyes were a dangerous shade of violet. She was dressed in a black and purple kimono and had a strange marking on her forehead: a yin-yang that was in the shape of a heart.

"This her?" asked the girl. She pointed a clawed finger in my direction. "Is this the _bitch_ who killed my family?!"

"Rouge," said Naraku, "you wanted to know who killed your sister and your lover..." He looked in my direction. "And there she is."

 _What the-?! I had never seen this girl in my life!_ It took only seconds for me to realize what was going on. This girl was being played by Naraku, just as I had. Naraku must have tricked her into thinking I was responsible for wronging her, just as I had once believed Inuyasha was the one who had slain my village and my comrades…

_Oh, HELL no!_

I shakily stood in my warrior's pose and balled my fists. Kagura got up and stood at my side. The demon girl reached to her hip, grasping the hilt of a sword. _Well, guess this is where I die…_ I would be no match for this woman and her weapon. I was already gravely injured. While I would give this fight everything I had left, I would likely be no match for this demon. She looked to be at the height of health and stamina, the exact opposite of me now.

I heard the clatter of metal beside me and looked to see a sword appear on the stone floor, apparently having been thrown by Naraku. I bent over and picked it up. "You'll need that," said Naraku as he walked away, grabbing Kagura by her arm and leading her towards his throne. Naraku sat down and Kagura stood apprehensively at his side. I glared at him and looked to Kagura for reassurance. She looked scared.

"So," said the crimson-haired demon girl as she approached me, "it was you who killed my sister, eh?"

"Who the _hell_ are you, anyway?" I asked.

"You know _exactly_ who I am! I am Rouge, the fire demon! And you are Sango, who killed the remainder of my family!" Rouge lunged at me, swinging her sword wildly. I held up mine in defense, both hands gripped on the hilt. The blades collided and I planted my feet firmly on the floor.

"I didn't kill anyone!" I yelled. I mustered all my strength and rammed my shoulder against hers. She stumbled and I took this time to jump back. Everything still hurt from last night.

 _"LIES!"_ screamed Rouge. Cracks formed in the floor on either side of her and flames erupted from the stone. Rouge charged at me, sword raised and glowing orange.

I held up my weapon in defense and a metallic clash was heard as Rouge's sword collided with mine again. Despite the pain in my lower body and legs, I still managed to hold my ground against her. She was strong, though… Very strong…

_So, this was what Inuyasha felt like when he had to fight me?_

I stared into Rouge's violet eyes and I could see the burning flames of vengeance. However, something was off. There was a chance she was not all there… I used all my strength to push forward with my sword; the blades screeched against one another. She pushed back and I could feel my left foot slip a little. A cruel smile played upon Rouge's face, having noticed my falter.

I took a deep breath and pushed back with all my might. My blade slid off hers and I swung violently in her direction. Rouge stumbled back a bit, genuine shock present in her eyes for only a second. The shock was quickly replaced by void. She stepped toward me and gracefully held up her sword. I held mine up in defense, heavy breathing racking my shoulders, sweat dripping down my spine. I was beginning to feel fatigue set in.

Rouge sniffed the air and smiled wickedly at me. "You're already injured… This will be too easy!" She jumped high into the air and disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

I looked up, expecting to see Rouge diving toward me from somewhere, but the demon seemed to have disappeared completely. _Where did she go?_ I held out my sword, gripping it with both hands. I quickly looked over my shoulder and then back in front of me. I began to back up slowly, hoping to reach a wall.

Before I could react, I felt a pair of arms around me, pinning my arms to my sides. I dropped my weapon and struggled aimlessly.

"Stupid human," said Rouge into my ear. "One of those guys you killed was my fiancé. He was going to marry me! And you killed him!" Rouge let me go and shoved me to the ground. I broke my fall with my hands but was brought down by her foot on my back. I reached for my blade only to be stopped by her other foot stomping on my already broken hand. I cried out in pain and shut my eyes. "Prepare to die, murderer. See you in hell!"

Survival kicked in and I felt adrenaline start to course through my veins. I managed to roll onto my back just as Rouge was about to stab me with her sword. I caught the blade with my bare hands, holding it back only inches away from piercing my heart. I made eye contact with the fire demon. We locked gazes for what felt like hours. Sweat poured down my face and my heart beat violently in my chest. I winced in pain as I gripped the blade. _I don't actually want to die… not yet…_

I began to feel the stinging pain from the blade as blood oozed out of my palms and I felt the tip of Rouge's sword poke my chest. Rouge smiled evilly. "Why fight me?" she asked. "You know I'm going to win."

 _Not today…_ I swung my foot out and back at Rouge's shin, causing her to lose her footing.

 _"What in all the hells?!"_ Rouge screamed as she fell.

I scrambled to my feet and made a dash for our discarded weapons. I picked up both my own borrowed sword and Rouge's. I walked menacingly toward the fire demon. "Rouge," I said, "I know you don't know who I really am… But please know I did not kill your fiancé or your sister."

There was a look of psychotic panic on Rouge's face. I had scared her.

"You lying wench!" screamed Rouge, getting to her feet. Her long, sharp claws shot out of her fingers as she held up a hand. "I'll reach down your throat and pull your fucking heart out!"

Rouge charged at me once more, her claws bared and ready for battle. I held up both swords, one crossing the other, waiting for Rouge to come near. Rouge knocked both swords out of my hands in one swift movement, then grabbed me by the front of my kimono, and lifted me off the ground. My adrenaline burst was fading, replaced by dread.

She may kill me after all.

* * *

_[Kagura's point of view.]_

I watched in awe of the battle before me. Just a few hours ago, I was helping the demon slayer take her first steps after being nearly crippled by a night of abuse and torment, and now she was back on her feet, fighting with the most powerful fire demon in existence. Her grace was cracked, and she did not fight with the poise I had previously witnessed, but she could still stand her ground well enough and move with a quickness that spared her life.

My entertainment was interrupted by Naraku's hand roughly grabbing my wrist. He took off toward the exit, pulling me behind him.

"Where are we going?" I asked, very confused. Wouldn't he want to watch the battle?

"Out of here," answered Naraku. He dragged me out of the room and shut the doors behind us.

"But what about the demon girl and Sango?" I asked, feeling a little uneasy.

Naraku locked the door. "They'll be fine."

A sickness settled into my stomach. "Rouge is going to _kill_ her!" I felt genuine fear for Sango's life.

"And you care for what reason?" asked Naraku.

I wasn't sure what to tell him. Now that I thought about it, I _did_ care. A lot. "I _don't_ care. But I thought _you_ wanted her around for a little longer." I said the quickest lie I could think of, hoping he would buy it.

"I just want to see how long she lasts against Rouge," stated Naraku. We stood outside the doors and listened to the battle raging from within.

* * *

_[Sango's point of view.]_

Rouge threw me into a wall using only one hand. The wind was temporarily knocked out of me, and I clutched my chest in pain. Rouge walked over to where I lay in a heap, and kicked me in the stomach, causing me to spit up a small amount of blood. "Tell me," said the demon, "WHY WON'T YOU DIE?!" I screamed in pain as I felt her claws slash my side, brushing against jagged bone.

_I can't give up._

I slowly got up, ignoring every broken bone and every bit of mangled flesh. Rouge just stared at me, jaw agape, stunned. I grabbed her by the throat and pulled her closer until I could see directly into her eyes and feel her breathing against my face.

"I will _not_ give up just yet. I have unfinished business of my own…" I tightened my grip around her throat. "I will not let you kill me, falsely believing that you have avenged your loved ones." I threw her into a wall and punched her as hard as I could in the face. She spit out a tooth and blood trickled out the corner of her mouth. "My death will be a waste at your hands." I grabbed her by the front of her kimono with both hands, pulling her close once more. The smallest hint of fear danced in her amethyst eyes.

"Go ahead and kill me," I challenged her.

_A small part of me did want to die…_

_But would she…?_

I released her once more, shoving her back. I delivered a high kick to her face and she fell backwards. I stood before her, breathing heavily, my fists held out in front of me for some semblance of protection. My energy was draining. I could not keep up with this using brute force alone. I lowered my stance and stepped toward the fire demon on the ground.

"Let me guess," I postulated, "after you kill me, you're going to kill yourself, aren't you?" She looked emotionally attacked. I knew where she was coming from. "I've been there, too, Rouge…" She crawled backward, into a corner, an insane, panicked look in her eyes.

"I will tell you one last time," I explained, " _I_ didn't kill your family. _Naraku_ did. He tried the same thing with me, filling my head with lies and even planting a jewel shard in my back…" Rouge's hand flew over her shoulder and she rubbed a spot between her shoulder blades.

 _"No…"_ stammered Rouge. " _No_ … that can't be right…"

_"But what if it is?"_

I crouched down in front of Rouge. I had to be crazy…

_"What if nothing is as it seems?"_

We stayed in that position for what felt like hours; Rouge backed up against a wall, me crouched before her. Time stood still and all went silent. I swear I could hear our every breath and every heartbeat. Rouge looked to me, the smallest hint of understanding in her eyes.

Within an instant, it all changed.

A purple aura began to emanate from the fire demon. It pulsed and she slowly stood up. The emotion in her eyes had changed to a blank expression, akin to that of Kanna ( _or Kohaku…_ ). Then void changed to rage. I stood up and backed away. I had a bad feeling about this…

The purple aura slowly changed to a burning amethyst flame. Rouge jumped up into the air, levitating. She threw her head back and let out an ear-piercing scream. The purple flames engulfing her retracted momentarily, before blasting away from her. I turned and ran for the door.

The blast caught up with me, sending me flying and landing hard on the ground. I felt a burning, searing pain overcome my whole body as the blast radius consumed me. I clenched my teeth and squeezed my eyes shut, willing desperately for the pain to stop. It was like a burning sensation I had never felt before, so hot that it almost felt cold, burning through my flesh to my bones. But no marks stained my skin.

The last thing I remembered before I blacked out was Rouge's twisted, insane laughter.


	7. Chapter Six: Reading My Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: "Reading My Eyes" by Linkin Park / Xero]

_[Kagura's point of view.]_

I stood outside of Naraku's "throne room", staring at the doors and lock, unsure what to do. I wanted to go back in there and help Sango, but I also did not want to arise any further suspicion in Naraku. I heard an explosion followed by a scream. _That's Sango's voice!_ I turned to Naraku, unable to hide the look of terror on my face. Rouge was going to kill her.

_"Naraku! What have you done?!"_

Naraku chuckled. "Kagura, I haven't done anything... this time. It was all Rouge."

"How _could_ you?!" I boldly took a few steps toward Naraku and stood on my toes trying to get eye level with him. He raised an eyebrow at me and backed up a pace, surprised at my outburst. "You—You are an absolute _monster_! You raped her! You _fucking_ raped her! And then you forced her to fight this new monstrosity of yours! She couldn't even walk this morning…" I was so past the point of anger merely at the injustice and wrongness of this whole situation. I put my hand to my forehead and turned away from Naraku. I couldn't look at him. If I did, I would lash out at him physically. And likely be punished, as if that were not already in my future…

I sighed. "And on top of it all, Rouge blindly believes Sango is the one responsible for the murder of her people. If Rouge kills Sango in there… one, it is a very unfair fight; two, her revenge will go unfulfilled. This is wrong…"

"Why do you care all of a sudden, witch?" asked Naraku as he shoved me.

"It's not that I care or anything, but you are just... just... so cruel!" I unfolded my fan and held it up, partially covering my face so that only my eyes were visible. "Naraku, I'll kill you myself. I despise you. We both know that."

Naraku cast a wicked smile in my direction. "I'd like to see you try and kill me. You do any of your stupid spells or even wave that damn fan at me, I'll tear you limb from limb." Naraku then held up his hand and made a slight squeezing motion. _Oh no…_ I gasped and fell to my knees, clutching my chest in pain. With that done, Naraku walked off down the hall, without another word.

I laid on the ground for a while, recovering. "That... abomination..." I muttered as I finally rose. I walked toward the double doors to the throne room, pleasantly surprised that the lock had dissipated, and the doors were no longer held shut by dark magic.

Sango… I scanned the room for the demon slayer. She was lying across the room on the ground with Rouge kneeling beside her, sword in hand. I frowned, feeling my familiar temper consume me.

"Rouge," I started, _"Get away from her."_

The fire demon slowly turned her head in my direction. Her movement was almost mechanical. Before she was fully facing me, I caught a glimpse of the void in her eyes. _Empty_ … The hatred returned to her purple irises in a cloud and she became animated once more. I had no idea what she had been like in life, who she could have been; she was so warped now, tainted by Naraku's lies and her heart shrouded in a thirst for misguided vengeance.

"I won't say it again, Rouge," I warned, unfolding my fan, "get away from her. _Now_."

"And I should do that for what reason, exactly?" asked Rouge.

I walked toward the fire demon, holding my fan in front of my face, ready to strike her if called for. I was angry anyway; I could use some sparring. _Hello, misplaced aggression_ … I held no fear of her in the moment. "The taijiya did not kill your sister or your fiancé."

Rouge raised an eyebrow in suspicion and rose to her feet, never breaking eye contact with me. She didn't blink. It was creepy. "You people keep saying that…"

"Naraku did."

The demon girl looked away for a moment. "How do you know?" She looked down at Sango.

"Naraku did the same exact thing to her." I motioned toward the unconscious slayer with my fan. "He told her that a hanyou called Inuyasha killed her whole village. Naraku stuck a Shikon shard in her back, so that she wouldn't feel any pain and would fight to the death. He's doing the same thing to you."

Rouge huffed and sheathed her sword. I walked over to them and crouched down next to Sango. I checked her pulse and then put my hand to her forehead. _She has been through so much the past few days_ … Even in her sleep, she looked angry. All was quiet for a while. I could feel Rouge watching me, watching us. I gently placed my arms under Sango's knees and behind her shoulders and picked her up as I rose. She stirred a little and made a small groan but otherwise did not wake.

I turned to Rouge. "Who will you believe?" I looked down at Sango's face. She turned her head into my shoulder and loosely grabbed my kimono. _Nightmare, likely_ … I looked up at Rouge once more. "I know I'm not a good person and I know I was born of Naraku. But I am nothing like him. And she is nothing like what he tells you."

"If you don't want to be here, why not just run? Or fly away, or whatever it is that you do?" asked Rouge. I noticed her hand rest on the hilt of her sword. I did not trust her at all.

I laughed darkly. "You don't understand, Rouge. Naraku has my heart."

Rouge nodded and then stood up. She looked down at Sango. "If she's not the murderer I think she is, then what's her story? Why is she here? It is all too perfect from my angle…"

"As if you have a right to know," I snarled as I walked past her. I looked over my shoulder at her. "Try thinking for yourself for once and maybe you can ask her when she wakes up. Although, if I were her, I wouldn't tell you shit."

"I'll ask her if I want to," said Rouge. "Nobody tells me what I can and can't do!"

 _Idiot_ … "I think it's too late for that. Naraku already did." I couldn't help myself. I shot an evil grin at Rouge.

Rouge glared daggers at me. "Shut up, witch!" She unsheathed her sword and started toward me. Her sword glowed an eerie purple. She began to charge.

I was able to reposition Sango in my arms and reach for my fan. I quickly waved it in Rouge's direction. _"Dance of the dragon!"_ Dangerous, swirling winds flew toward Rouge, consuming her. She cried out and I could hear the wind blades slicing her flesh. I flicked my fan to the left and the cyclone followed suit. I snapped my fan shut and Rouge was thrown out of the winds and into a wall. I secured my fan and readjusted Sango. Somehow none of the chaos had awoken her.

Rouge slumped against the wall, breathing heavily. She placed a hand on her left shoulder, which now had four large scratches on it, and blood covering the left sleeve of her kimono. Rouge slowly got up, walked over to her disarmed weapon, and put it back in its sheath. She fearfully turned to me, clutching her wounded shoulder. Bloody cuts also covered her face. I smirked at my victory and even laughed as Rouge hurriedly left the room, leaving the slightest trail of crimson footprints in her wake.

_Damn bitch, know your place._

_That demon, Rouge_ … she is certainly a worthy opponent. I sat on my bed, back against the wall, gazing longingly out the window at the night sky. Stars shone out there, teasing me. I cast my attention down. Sango was still asleep, her head resting on my lap. I had tended to her injuries once more. She had been out for hours and I had not let her out of my sight. I don't know what all happened during the course of her battle with Rouge, but I could tell it had drained her quite a bit. Her vigor was something I had grown to admire.

She no longer looked angry in her sleep. At least not right now. There was actually a peaceful aura about her. I couldn't help but to reach out and brush her hair out of her eyes, tucking a few stray strands behind her ear. Her wounds from previous days had begun to heal, at least skin deep. Surprisingly, no evidence remained of the jewel shard being implanted in her forehead barely over a day ago. Three thin white lines healed over her left eye, the most prominent one separating her eyebrow in two. Her jaw was no longer swollen but a purple and yellow bruise was still present on the side of her face, along with a small cut beneath her right eye.

But still, she was beautiful.

_"Still pretty?"_

_"Still pretty."_

Our conversation from the previous day unlawfully trespassed in my subconscious. I was beginning to enjoy Sango's company. I never had the privilege of friendship, the closest companionship of mine belonging to Kanna and Naraku, perhaps even Kohaku to a small extent.

She would never consider me as a friend. Too much bad blood exists.

I fell asleep just as the sun was beginning to rise.

* * *

_[Sango's point of view.]_

My eyes fluttered open and I struggled to focus. _Pain_... I should be used to that by now. No headache this morning, though. I closed my eyes once more, deciding that light was too much for me right now. I rested my arm over my eyes. My limbs ached worse than they had during my very first days of demon slayer training. And I was cold. Sleep sounded amazing, as I was so inexplicably exhausted, but I tried hard to wake up and fight off the temptation. My throat was really dry; the idea of water was even more alluring than sleep. I stretched out my aching limbs and finally became aware of my surroundings.

Mostly due to the fact I had just lazily and accidentally hit Kagura in the face during my stretch. I jolted up and turned, scooting away from her. She grumbled something and her red eyes opened; I felt the hot tint of embarrassment rise to my cheeks and I avoided eye contact with her.

"Sorry!" I apologized. I was in this weird state of teetering between exhaustion and being fully alert. My embarrassment and the urge to pee were keeping me awake while the rest of my body wanted to push Kagura off the bed and claim the comfort as my own and sleep forever.

Kagura blinked at me, a sleepy expression on her face. "Good morning," she greeted, stretching. "How do you feel?"

"Uh…" I nervously rubbed the back of my neck. "Water would be great?" It came out as more of a question than a statement.

"Fair enough," Kagura rose out of bed and headed to the door. I stumbled out of bed next and found my way to the washroom connected to the bedroom. I relieved myself and then splashed cold water on my face, trying desperately to fully wake.

Kagura had returned in that time. She was waiting for me in the main bedroom, with an offer of water and a slice of bread.

My head was too foggy and my body too sore to reject her kindness.

* * *

We sat by the pond, neither of us saying a word for the longest time. It was about mid-afternoon by now. I still felt terrible all around but at least I could walk today with little pain. A silent understanding had manifested between Kagura and I. I followed her around the castle grounds all day, desiring not to be alone, for many reasons.

The last thing I could remember from the previous night was ending my fight with Rouge in a final attack of wit and courage, armed only with my words. Unfortunately, they rang hollow with the demon girl, as I was taken out by some kind of explosion. I could still feel the tingle on my skin, the most bizarre sensation: both hot and cold at the same time, burning me to the marrow but nary a scar graced my flesh. This strange pain is what knocked me out.

Rouge. She was in a situation that almost mirrored my own, over a year ago. I was in Inuyasha's shoes this time, however. He had a small pack to back up his words, though; I had only my voice and the wild card that was Kagura at my side. Rouge had just as much right to disbelieve me as she did Naraku.

But, I am still alive. That was something.

_Why?_

I could feel my omnipresent rage ruining my current peaceful perception of the here-and-now. I still would not let myself consider what had transpired between Naraku and I days ago; although, the experience always threatened to enter the forefront of my mind. I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I rested my chin on my knees and gritted my teeth, unable to hide my anger. I narrowed my eyes and felt a tear escape. _Weak…_

"Sango?" I heard Kagura's soft voice beside me.

"Hmm?" I slightly turned my head to face the sorceress.

"Are you alright?" asked Kagura.

I was silent for a moment, afraid that if I opened my mouth, I would completely fall apart. I was never good with emotions. I wouldn't go as far as to say I was raised to be a son, but there was certainly emphasis placed on remaining stoic and stone. Never falter. Never show my weakness. I was a warrior.

_Was._

"I don't know…" I finally answered. I felt a small sense of pride for being able to form a sentence and keep my voice steady. There was too much. My mind was full of questions with no answers. Memories, possibilities, emotions; most of which were completely unwanted and unwarranted, swam through my consciousness. I don't want to be here… I could feel my thoughts drifting into dangerous territory, something more prevalent now than ever. I had a strong urge to destroy something, anything…

I punched the ground beside me, crying out in pain as I did so. The tears came as I held my still-broken hand to my stomach, massaging my knuckles with my good hand.

"Hey," Kagura's arms were suddenly around me. She gently placed her hands on my wrists and pulled my hands apart. She held my arms to my sides and at first I struggled but soon gave up. "Don't do that," Kagura warned. We made eye contact and I wanted to fall to pieces. I couldn't look away even though I wanted to. I felt like she could see straight through me and now had access to the inner workings of my mind, so dark inside…

"I know you're angry, Sango," said Kagura, her grip loosening on my wrists, her hands sliding down to rest on top of mine. She was mindful of my fracture, I noticed. "I cannot even imagine what all you feel right now, and you do not have to tell me anything if you don't want to," she continued. My eyes kept flickering between hers and the natural background behind her. I would keep crying if I kept eye contact with her. "You're not thinking of anything good, are you? You want to ruin, destroy, run… I can see it in your eyes…" I sniffled and turned my head to stare at the ground beside us.

"You don't want to be here anymore, do you?"

"No," I confirmed, "I need to get out of here…"

"That's not what I meant," said Kagura. "You know."

I couldn't hold it in any longer. I let loose the wave of emotion that had been bottling up inside me since the night with Naraku.

I could feel Kagura's gaze on me, watching me wallow in my self-pity. "I'm going to let go of your hands," she said. "Just promise if I let you go, you won't do anything stupid." I looked into her eyes and nodded weakly. She slowly released me, and I caught a glimpse of her face. Concern and care flooded her ruby eyes. Unable to control myself, I flung my arms around her and cried into her shoulder.

Superficially, I wanted no contact, no comfort. I wanted to remain stone, the strong warrior I tried so hard to be. I needed nothing and no one. On a soul level, however, I craved solace. I felt so alone these days; isolation had been my norm, even while traveling with my friends. Each of us had seen such bad things, experienced such tragedies; I chose to suffer in silence most days. Up until now; my psyche teetered dangerously on a breaking point.

Kagura's slight discomfort and confusion did not go unnoticed; I just simply did not care in the moment. I felt her pull me into an awkward embrace. Her display of affection, whether real or not, only made me cry harder. We stayed like that for a while; she relaxed over time, resting her chin on my shoulder while she rubbed small circles on my back. I finally began to calm down, the tears having exhausted me.

"Don't give up, Sango," said Kagura. "You can't. You have unfinished business, remember?"

I did. _Kohaku._

I cleared my throat and pulled away from her, wiping my eyes with my hands and forearms. "Is my brother here, Kagura? Right now?"

Kagura furrowed her brows in thought. "Yes, I think so… I believe Naraku went off on his own earlier. Everyone is here. Unfortunately…" I had a suspicion the latter portion of her sentence was directed at Rouge. I was hoping not to run into the fire demon, either. She was a force to be reckoned with, and unpredictable.

Guilt suddenly overwhelmed my senses. I had let my egotistical lack of self-preservation interfere with my life's mission: I could not leave this mortal plane in good conscious without first freeing my little brother from Naraku's clutches. The fire returned inside me.

"Where is he?" I asked, finding strength in my voice again.

"Your brother?" asked Kagura.

"Yes," I stood up, feeling a renewed sense of purpose.

Kagura rose cautiously. She surveyed the area before continuing. "His quarters are this way," she turned and began walking back toward the castle, "on the opposite side of ours. He doesn't come out much."

I jogged to catch up with her. "How Is he?"

"You saw him a few nights ago," Kagura answered.

My heart fell a bit. "Is he ever… different? Does he ever change?" I was afraid of the answer, but I needed to know. If there was any chance at all that he has shown his true colors…

Kagura sighed and shook her head. "He shows signs of at least possessing a personality." We turned a corner and walked up a set of stairs. "He is confused, usually. He asks me questions I do not have answers to. And even if I did… I don't know that I could tell him." We stopped at a door and Kagura turned to me. "Sango," she said, "don't take it personally if he still doesn't remember you or if he's still a little apprehensive." I nodded, just thankful for an opportunity to see my brother.

Kagura knocked on the door. I felt my heart flutter with anxiety, anticipation.

The door slid open and there stood Kohaku, dressed in his old blue and gray kimono, his hair tied back in his trademark messy knot. He essentially looked like the same little boy I took care of for most of my life. The little boy who haunted my dreams.

"Kohaku," said Kagura, "I have someone with me who wishes to speak with you. You may remember her, maybe…"

He looked up at me and blinked in confusion. I was at least happy to see that his chocolate brown eyes were not empty with the glassy indicator of possession. "I know you from somewhere…"

"Yes…" I was not sure what to say. The air between us felt foreign and a little tense. I did not like it but went with it. Kohaku's recovery would be a process, I've always known and accepted that.

"I think I've fought you," he said. "Hmm…" he scratched his head in confusion and then crossed his arms over his chest. "I _know_ I've fought you, but why?"

"I don't think it was your choice," offered Kagura.

"No…"

"Kohaku," said Kagura, "It is beautiful out. Would you like to take a walk with us?"

He looked from me to Kagura. "Sure."

The three of us traversed the maze of a castle and wound up outside in the relative freedom of the outdoors. Once outside, Kohaku was the first to speak up. "It _is_ quite nice out!" He smiled and took a deep breath, savoring the fresh air. _This is the real Kohaku._ I smiled genuinely, for the first time in days.

"Thank you for inviting me out, Kagura! I get so bored when I'm not sent on missions." He scanned our surroundings, taking in the natural beauty. I felt such immense joy in my heart just at being able to witness his display of childlike curiosity; his young mind still amazed by the world around him, despite the horrors he had already seen. I wondered if he remembered the "missions" Naraku sent him on. His current cheery demeanor and my own memory of fighting him with that dead look in his eyes every time he was sent after me and my friends, told me he was not fully aware of his actions.

Kagura led us to the koi pond and we walked across the bridge, sitting at the gazebo build in the middle of it. Kagura leaned against a wooden support and closed her eyes. I was unsure if she was really planning on sleeping or meditating or something. I think it was her own way to excuse herself away from any conversation Kohaku and I may have.

"I love this pond," Kohaku broke the silence. "I love watching the fish. It's calming."

"Yeah," I smiled. It was so hard to choose my words. I was never sure what to say to him. I wanted him to remember me, remember our family and the village; but I was so afraid that one time I may say something that triggers the wrong memory and then everything would come back to him all at once.

"You've always loved nature," I offered boldly, "Trees, fish, butterflies, swimming, hiking, animals of all sorts…" A glimpse of a memory came to me: Father took us fishing once when I was around twelve and he was seven. He hated fishing to begin with because he was afraid to hurt the fish and he didn't want to kill them, even for food. I showed him how to release the fish from the hooks, without harming them. Needless to say, we did not have fish that night. I laughed at the memory. Kohaku was always such a kind boy.

"What?" he asked.

"I just wish you could remember."

"You seem to know an awful lot about me; more than I do. Or even Kagura." He looked in her direction, as did I. She cracked an eye open at the sound of her name and then returned almost immediately to her contemplation. "Kagura said I used to be a demon slayer. Is that true?" He looked to me, excitement, and a hint of desperation in his eyes.

"Yes," I answered, proudly. "I am a demon slayer, too. We came from the same village."

Kohaku was silent for a moment. "I always see your face."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"You always seem so sad…" he trailed off. "Miss… Sango…" He cast his gaze to his hands, nervously ringing them together in his lap. "I associate you with… something. I don't know…"

I was silent. I did not want to push him at all to continue.

"I don't even know you aside from visions, maybe memories? And seeing you around, between missions?" He looked deep in thought. "Although at the same time, I feel that I've known you my whole life…"

"Because you have," I dared to offer. "You're my little brother, Kohaku. My one and only little brother."

"I just wish I could remember…" He faced me, a troubled look in his eyes. "I can believe you, just on intuition. But why can't I remember you as my sister? There are so many pieces missing… I feel like I just simply… _am_. But why?"

My heart was breaking all over again. I felt like we were so close to a breakthrough here. "Kohaku..." I moved closer to him and put my arm around his shoulders. He initially stiffened but soon relaxed against me. "I don't know how you lost your memories, but I vow to get them back to you, somehow. No matter what it takes…"

"Sometimes, I dream about you," he confessed, "I think it's you. No, it must be you… We go on adventures together, and there's a little two-tailed cat—"

"That's Kirara!" I exclaimed, my heart soaring a bit. "Kohaku, I don't think those are just dreams!"

"Memories?" he asked. "I hope so…" He continued, "Sometimes the dreams are bad, though. There is one I have every now and then, a nightmare… I just see your face and you look so scared, so sad… And I don't know why. It's like there is something else there and I know why you're scared.. but I'm not supposed to remember…"

I held him close and willed myself to project the strong image of myself, the protector of my younger sibling. "You'll get everything back in time. I'm here for you, Kohaku, and I'm not leaving without you by my side."

"I think I believe you," he stated.

"You better," I couldn't help my words; a mixture of conviction and teasing rang in my voice.

"So, what are you doing here, anyway?" he asked.

I had no plan for a conversation with him at all, let alone an answer mapped out for that particular question. I mulled over my possible answers, carefully. I did not want to lie to him at all, but I also did not want to give him too much information, unsure what he would do with it or how he would react.

"Well," I began, "I was in battle with my friends. We were fighting Naraku, actually…" I paused, looking for a reaction of any kind, for better or worse.

"Naraku? He sends me on missions sometimes," said Kohaku, "why were you fighting him?"

"It's… a long story…" I felt so uncomfortable. "Kohaku," I took a deep breath, "before I continue, I must know: what is your attribute in all this? Do you remember the missions Naraku tasks you with?"

He shook his head. "No... I just know he lets me stay here in this grand castle and provides me food and water. He promised he would take care of me if I helped him out. We don't really interact all that much, aside from when I get a new assignment." He seemed a little troubled by this. At least his obedience appeared to be driven by survival, at least when he's in his right mind.

"Naraku never answers my questions," the boy continued. "He said sometimes it is best to forget…"

"Some things, yes…" I was treading careful waters here.

"So, Miss Sango," said Kohaku, "you didn't finish your story; you were fighting Naraku with your friends?"

"It doesn't bother you that I was fighting him?" I asked.

He shook his head. "No. Honestly, it is none of my business. I prefer to remain impartial, no offense. You have done nothing to me personally and that's all that matters." I couldn't hide the small smile tugging at the corner of my lips. I was honestly shocked at his answer, both because of his age, and the odd 'relationship' he was forced to have with Naraku. Their interaction was almost a parallel to Sesshomaru and Rin, but a twisted version, and one where there is no hero worship, just transactions.

"Continue your story, please," Kohaku looked genuinely interested.

"Alright," I was very hesitant to tell much of the tale, "We were fighting with Naraku. Kagura was there briefly and so were you—" I probably should not have said that.

"I was?" he asked.

"Yes," I hesitated, "I chased you through the woods and became lost. Naraku found me, alone, and we fought. He won and I was taken here."

"Why did he take you?" asked Kohaku.

I felt a knot form in my stomach. That was something I did not have a real answer to, but also, all the things I could infer were not reasons I would like to disclose to my little brother. "I… honestly don't know," I answered, feeling guilty but also hoping he would leave it at that. He was always such a timid boy but also inquisitive and intelligent. And sensitive. I hoped he never had to know of my ordeals here…

A thought crossed my mind that made me want to explode with rage at the sheer idea of it.

"Kohaku," I started, trying hard to keep my voice level, "can I ask you something?"

"Yes," he answered. "Ask away. It is only fair; I feel as if I have interrogated you enough for one day," he laughed.

"How does Naraku treat you?"

"Well, he doesn't really take care of me, per se, but as I said before, he makes sure I have food, shelter, and clothing." I was a little angry at the thought of that monster providing for my brother, but that was far better than the alternative.

"Is he nice to you?"

"For the most part," said Kohaku. I didn't like that answer.

"Meaning…?"

"He gets really mad sometimes, especially when I ask questions." Kohaku turned away from me. "He's never struck me or anything like that, but his anger can be scary. I know he's a demon."

I would accept that answer. I could contain myself knowing that Kohaku has thus far been spared any direct violence at Naraku's hands.

"Ok, good," was all I could say.

Kohaku looked at me, a questioning look on his face. "You _have_ to be my sister," he said, "otherwise, I feel like you wouldn't be checking up on me like that."

"If anyone ever lays their hands on you, they'll regret it and that's all I am going to say." I held him close. I was taken aback when he whole-heartedly returned my embrace.

"I don't know where my memories are," he said, "or if I'll ever get them all back. But this is nice. I hope you're around for a while and that maybe I can go with you when you leave here."

"I'd like that too, more than anything," I felt tears of joy brimming in my eyes as I held my brother tight.

"Sango?" I was exhilarated that he dropped the formality when addressing me. "Tell me another story?"

Time had no concept to me for the rest of that afternoon. The day turned out to be just for us. Kagura sat patiently in the corner of the gazebo, silent, leaving us to our conversations. I eagerly told Kohaku many tales of our adventures, especially from when we were young children. I loved the way his eyes lit up and he got excited over the smallest details, cluing him in on his true personality.

Hours later, that felt like mere minutes, Kagura finally spoke up. "It is almost dusk, we should head back, before Naraku returns."

I felt the familiar heaviness of sadness begin to weigh on me as we began our trek back to the castle. We made it inside and Kagura led us in the direction of Kohaku's room. As we turned a corner to climb the stairwell leading to Kohaku's hall, I heard low, dark laughter. Naraku had returned a lot sooner than anyone had expected.

_How did he know?!_

"Kohaku," started Naraku, "have you enjoyed your day?"

The boy looked up at him. "Yes, sir." Naraku sneered at him. "Is there something wrong?" Kohaku asked, his youthful voice filled with innocence.

Naraku failed to answer him; the demon gazed straight past the boy and made direct eye contact with Kagura and then me. A cruel smile formed on his mouth; his eyes narrowed in anger. He slid past Kohaku and stood in front of Kagura.

"Kagura…" He broke his collected poise in a split second and backhanded her across the face. She stumbled, caught off guard. "How dare you let them see each other?!" He grabbed her by her shoulders and slammed her into the wall beside us. Kohaku and I stood still, frozen in fear.

"I didn't see the harm—" started Kagura. Naraku shoved her closer to the wall and I could hear her labored breathing. He threw her to the ground and held out his hand. A red orb appeared in his palm and he grasped it, squeezing tightly. Kagura cried out in pain, holding both hands to her chest. Naraku released his grip, then squeezed once more.

He had her heart. _He was going to kill her!_

I panicked and lunged at him. _"Leave her alone!"_ He wasn't expecting my actions and I managed enough force to shove him into the wall, breaking his concentration. Once I had him there, I pulled my fist back and then swung it as hard as I could into his jaw.

The hall fell silent, all eyes on me. I looked to Naraku, petrified with fear, realizing what I had just done. None of us had anticipated this little interaction from the start, let alone my apparent damage. A small line of blood leaked out the corner of Naraku's mouth and he soon spit out a tooth into his palm.

I didn't even register his movements; one moment he was across the hall from me, paralyzed with his own shock, and the next, he had me pinned to the wall, his hand around my throat.

 _"Sango!"_ I heard Kohaku's voice. I saw him approaching us from behind Naraku.

"Quiet, boy!" Naraku held his other arm back; it transformed into a black tentacle and flew down the hall, wrenching the door to Kohaku's room open. The tentacle returned, wrapping around Kohaku's middle, dragging him backward.

"No! Sango! My sister!" He struggled against the appendage, reaching out for me. Naraku flung him into his room and slammed the door shut, sealing it behind him. I could hear Kohaku pounding on the other side of the door down the hall.

Naraku's limb transformed back into a human arm and he released me. I felt to the ground, gasping for breath. I glimpsed Kagura out of the corner of my eye; she was unconscious. _"Kagura…"_

I cried out in agony as I was pulled violently to my feet. Naraku's clawed hand gripped my bicep and I felt my arm pop out of its socket. Naraku struck me across the face with his free hand and then threw me against the wall.

"How dare you disrespect me so!" Before I could get up, his foot collided with my stomach. I winced, feeling a new addition or two to my collection of broken ribs. I felt his arms around my waist, and he threw me over his shoulder, carrying me down the hall.

Many turns and halls later, we were back in mine and Kagura's wing. He flung open the door to my room and dropped me to the floor. I got up to try to make a run for it, but he was too fast; I couldn't get up in time, due to my dislocated shoulder.

Naraku crouched down to my level and took my hands roughly in his. I winced in pain and closed my eyes as he intentionally squeezed my broken hand. "Look at me…" I refused. He tightened his grip. I opened my eyes, tears blurring my vision. I was terrified.

 _"Don't defy me, Sango."_ He released my hands and rose to his feet, hands resting on his hips. "I was going to leave you be for tonight, but after your little visit with your brother and your previous actions, I can promise you that you will be punished for your behaviors…"

He began to untie his obi and remove his hakama. The cold familiarity of fear began to spread through my body, sending chills up my spine. He was going to abuse me again. I closed my eyes and bit back tears. He caressed the side of my face then grabbed a fistful of my hair. I stifled a yelp but felt my neck pop as he pulled my head back.

 _"Look at me,"_ he commanded.

_I wouldn't. I could not._

His fist collided with the side of my face once more and I screamed out in pain, feeling the dull throb of a headache spawn in my temple.

My eyes opened in shock and I gagged immediately. He forced himself into my mouth. I struggled to get away from him, only to feel his nails digging into my neck, holding me close. Between the physical act, the fear, and general distress, I threw up. All over him. He pushed me to the floor and took a step back.

 _"Disgusting wench!"_ He slapped me in the face, then delivered a kick to my chest.

I could no longer see straight, everything was a blur, and my head throbbed in a full-blown migraine. I lay on the floor, barely able to move. Naraku grabbed me by the back of my kimono and slammed me against a wall. My head hit the hard surface and I closed my eyes, close to blacking out from the pain. He literally ripped my clothing off, then grabbed me around the waist. He shoved me against a dresser, and I fell forward. I felt his knee being forced between my legs and I began to cry silently as pain overwhelmed my senses.


	8. Chapter Seven: -1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: "-1" by Mudvayne]

Inuyasha, Miroku, Kagome, Shippo, and Kirara trudged through the forest, in search of their friend. It had been nearly a week since Naraku had kidnapped Sango. They were all really worried about her; even Inuyasha was beginning to falter, cracking under the stress. Kirara had become depressed; the cat demon barely ate at all. Kagome tried tracking Naraku many times by sensing his jewel shards, but every time she thought they had a promising lead, it was always just another giant centipede, spider, or worm.

Miroku was arguably more visibly worried than anyone else. He had begun to fall for her, over the course of their adventure together. He could not say for sure if it was the level of love, yet, but he cared deeply for the young taijiya. The monk tried not to think about what may have happened to her, with much difficulty. MIroku had a grim feeling that something horrible had happened to Sango.

_I never got a chance to tell her…_

_Maybe I never will..._

Inuyasha sighed. "We've been all over the battle site. And we have searched within a hundred-yard perimeter in each direction…" The hanyou looked defeated. "The trail always ends here, in this spot, where we found her weapons."

"We can't give up, though, Inuyasha!" said Kagome. "We'll find her, don't worry."

"Well, it's almost dark and I'm tired as hell," said Inuyasha, "let's go back to old Kaede's village. There's nothing more we can do today." He looked up at the reddish orange sky. Shippo jumped up on his shoulder.

"Inuyasha," said Shippo, "do you think Sango's ok?"

The dog-demon wasn't sure what to tell the young kitsune. There was no telling what horrors Naraku had likely committed against Sango; and Inuyasha surely was not about to voice any of his fears to such a young child. He opted for reassurance and prayed in his mind that he was correct in his assumption. "She's a strong fighter, Shippo. I think she's ok." He looked over at Miroku who was on his knees, praying. "Miroku?" asked Inuyasha.

"Please, just let her be safe… as safe as she can be…"

Inuyasha silently watched Miroku for a moment, lost in thought. He was personally beginning to agonize over the loss of his friend. He never thought he would need others in his life, especially in this new life he had found, but he had been sorely mistaken. Miroku had become his brother-in-arms and best friend, Shippo, the annoying yet loving younger sibling he never had, Kagome… Kagome was special. She was special in a way that the hanyou himself had yet to fully realize.

Kirara had become the 'family pet', so to speak. And with the hellcat, came her owner, Sango. Sango was akin to a sister to Inuyasha. He actually considered her to be quite close to him; their bond was forged in blood and shared traumas. He knew what it was like to continuously chase after a ghost—the ghost of someone he could never harm and a spirit whom he would never vanquish.

This rag-tag band of misfits were Inuyasha's pack. He would never admit it out loud, even to himself, but he had come to love each of them, in some way. Losing Sango was harder on him than he would have predicted. She was almost as deadly in battle as he was and she could keep up, despite being a mortal with no extrasensory abilities, beyond extremely keen senses.

 _I just hope we can find her soon… I don't know what's happening to her, but I know it can't be good…_ Inuyasha looked to the stars, hoping to spot a falling one, wishing for answers. He had no idea why, but a very distinct, alarming memory invaded his mind.

_I ran into the clearing just in time. I heard a struggle and smelled blood. In the middle of clearing was Sango and Kohaku. She was straddling him, one hand on his shoulder, holding him down, the other raised high in the air, gripping the hilt of her katana; the blade was pointed and positioned merely centimeters from the boy's throat. He lay there emotionless, nearly lifeless._

_"I'll kill you, then kill myself. This is the only way to get you back from Naraku!" She trembled with anger, tears in her eyes. "Forgive me, Kohaku!" She raised her sword._

_"Stop, Sango!"_

_Just as she was about to plunge the blade into her brother's neck, I knocked the sword out of her hand.'\_

That was the first time Inuyasha saw through her; the first time he could see just how deep the darkness ran through her heart. The hanyou shuddered at the memory, shaking his head in an effort to cleanse it from his train of thought. That time, he had convinced Sango not to take Kohaku's life, and certainly not her own. It was what Naraku would have wanted. They would not allow him the satisfaction of such a petty victory.

He never said a word about the incident between Kohaku and Sango to anyone in their group and he never would. Unfortunately, that was also not the last time Inuyasha had become witness to his friend's inner turmoil. Nearly a month later, Sango had gone back to her village alone. Inuyasha had found her and two young girls, about to be overcome by demons. They destroyed the demons as a group, and Sango departed with her friends. They stopped by the abandoned slayer village one final time.

During the visit, Inuyasha decided to go check on Sango, as she had gone back to her old family home and was taking longer than anticipated. He silently made it into the house and caught her kneeling at the foot of a grand armoire, doors open and displaying an elegant set of armor. He could not make out exactly what she was saying at first, as she was speaking in a mumbled whisper, but he did hear her apologize. After which, she picked up a small blade from beside her, rolled up her sleeve, and brought the blade to her exposed forearm.

She never knew he caught her in such an act. He never knew how to approach her about it. He only vowed to watch her more closely and offer a listening ear, should she ever need it.

Inuyasha led the pack back to Kaede's village, the unpleasant feeling of failure lingering above him like a dark cloud.

_Tomorrow is another day…_

* * *

_[Sango's point of view.]_

My mind was blank. I lay on the cold floor, naked, alone… Naraku had just left me, after once again using me for his twisted desires. Although this time, the abuse was highlighted as punishment. I never felt so disgusting, defiled, tainted… I would rather be covered in the putrid essence of demon innards and entwines than feel anything like this. Beyond the now-constant feeling of filth that I had to live with, my conscience was most plagued by the realization that I would never be the same when I left this place.

( _If I left this place._ )

If by some miracle, I could ever become a shadow of the person I once was… that would take a while. I hugged my knees in a fetal position and cried. My whole body was sore; the pain concentrated in my head, chest, and tailbone. _How could I let him do this to me?_

( _I defended Kagura._ )

He may have killed her if I didn't step in. She came to my aid every night, even though doing so could very well have resulted in her own plight and punishment. It was only right of me to defend her. I felt the smallest sense of pride flicker in my darkened, violent heart.

This has got to be a fate worse than death. Either this or... I thought of Rouge and Kohaku, both being in Naraku's control. Kohaku, having next to no memory, and being used as a mere weapon until Naraku has no further need for him. Rouge, a victim of Naraku's lies, also being used as nothing more than a weapon of intimidation. _She's just like me…_ In a way, at least. Rouge fed into Naraku's lies, desperate for some kind of closure, some kind of explanation, for the demise of her loved ones. _Just as I had…_

When I closed my eyes, I saw Rouge, cowering in the corner as I tried to break through to her at the end of our battle. I opened my eyes again, closed them once more. The image of Rouge was replaced by Naraku, his crimson eyes haunting my mind, trespassing upon my thoughts just as he had done to my body…

The shock was still there. The headache was intensifying. Any sudden movement reminded me of my failure. A simple breath, if taken too deeply, rattled my broken bones. I slowly rolled onto my back, wincing in pain. Just as sleep threatened my heavy eyelids and heavier heart, I glimpsed a shadow standing over me, through my blurred vision.

_Has death finally come to grant me peace?_

* * *

_[Rouge's point of view.]_

The only sounds to my ears were my own footsteps, thankfully. The screaming finally stopped. I walked aimlessly through the halls. I just couldn't sleep. After battling the slayer a day ago, I slept for fifteen hours straight; my waking hours were plagued by her accusations. _How dare this human insinuate that I, Rouge of the fire demons, am being manipulated?!_

I growled as I turned a corner. I unsheathed my sword and drug the tip along the walls as I walked, uncaring. What was it to me if this place was destroyed? Anger and rage were the only things fueling my existence. My thoughts were invaded quickly by memories. Yokama, my late fiancé, came to the forefront of my mind. I would never forget his smiling, handsome face as he asked me to marry him and bear his children. We were destined for greatness together.

_Were._

"Hmmf! Get the hell out of my head! I can't let my stupid emotions take control of me!" I stopped and slammed my fist into a wall, followed by my forehead. I grunted and fell to my knees. I had been trying in vain to get out of this goddamned castle, but I could barely find my way around the interior. This place was a labyrinth! I got up and reluctantly continued my side quest, securing my blade in its holster.

I turned a corner and stalked down a hall, peeking inside any open doors, keeping my eyes peeled for anything useful hidden in these rooms. I heard quiet sobs coming from one of the rooms. Naturally curious as I was, I approached the room and peered inside.

The taijiya was lying on the floor, completely vulnerable and covered in bruises and blood. I wondered briefly if she was dead. _Weak humans_ … I gave the girl a questioning look. Upon closer inspection, she was still breathing. _Might as well kill her now and put her out of her misery._ I unsheathed my sword and walked into the room, towering over her shivering form. I held up the sword and went to strike the miserable girl with it... but something stopped me.

Sango looked up at me, a pleading look on her damaged face. She weakly grabbed my ankle and opened her mouth to say something. She passed out shortly after.

_That look on her face._

"Ami…" A name left my lips in barely a whisper.

 _Sango looks just like Ami. She looks just like my sister!_ Everything except her eyes... _Ami had blue eyes._ I could feel the threat of tears that just would not fall. I sheathed my sword.

_Maybe I'll let the taijiya live a little longer._

* * *

_[Kagura's point of view.]_

_Oh, the irony…_

I felt as if a tornado had hit me.

I struggled to sit up, holding my head with one hand as I did so. A wicked headache pulsed through my temples. I leaned back against a wall and opened my eyes. I was sitting in the hall in Kohaku's wing of the castle. My chest ached with phantom pains from a sore muscle that simply did not exist. I replayed the evening's events in my mind. Naraku had nearly crushed my heart and Sango launched herself at him in my defense. My eyes widened and I shakily rose to my feet.

My balance was horribly off, but that would be remedied by morning. By now Naraku should be in his own room. _I need to go check on Sango…_

I reached the hall I shared with Sango and my anger boiled within me as I saw Rouge slowly walking in my direction. "Rouge." I greeted her.

Rouge stopped walking. "If you're wondering if I did anything, the answer is no. I'm just taking a walk. Leave me be, witch."

I glared at her. "I was thinking no such thing. You know you are just incriminating yourself with your words…"

Rouge grabbed my shoulders and slammed me to the wall. I closed my eyes, the migraine throbbing. "I told you, _bitch: I did nothing._ I am simply going for a stroll, trying to clear my head. My every waking moment is haunted by the deceased. I will not rest until they are avenged and once they are, I will be happily joining them."

I held no surprise at Rouge's words. "Very well, Rouge," I said. "But try and listen to me, ok? Sango didn't kill them. Naraku did. I want you to think about that."

Rouge released me and stepped back, the shadows on her face making her look even more dangerous. "I can't kill that taijiya anyway. She looks too much like my sister. So, if she did kill my family, then I guess I'm not getting my revenge. But tell me more of this Naraku. Is he the one causing her to scream and keep me up all night?"

"Yes," I sighed, leaning casually against the wall, and rubbing my aching head. "Believe what you want, but trust me, I want my own freedom from Naraku, myself. And Sango craves her own vengeance as well."

Rouge huffed and leaned against the wall, opposite of me. "Well then, his credibility with me just got knocked down a few pegs." She eyed her claws and made a fist. "If he's doing what I think he's doing to her, he's a low-life son of a bitch. Only disgusting humans and lesser demons prey on others in such a way."

I shook my head, wishing for the conversation to end. Rouge was such a nuisance to me. As if by some divine intervention, my wish was soon granted.

"Well, it's been nice chatting with you, Kagura," said Rouge as she stood straight up and stretched. "I'm off to find something to get into. The night is young. Next time Naraku has a job for me, I'm going to have a word with him."

"Oh?" I asked. She nodded casually, as if we were simply discussing business matters. "You do that, then." If she were indeed to be trusted on her words and confronted him about abusing Sango, he would either find some way to deny it all or he would attack Rouge in accusation of insubordination.

As annoying as Rouge could be, perhaps she is not all bad. I had a feeling she had paid Sango a visit and my suspicions were confirmed upon reaching the door to her bedroom—it was left wide open, something Naraku would not have done. He preferred to hide evidence of his crimes. Rouge had been presented with Sango in an extremely vulnerable state, and she had spared her life, simply on the basis that Sango was similar in appearance to her dead sister.

I approached Sango's unconscious form and knelt beside her. Even at first glance, I knew her injuries were intense.

_This is going to be a long night._

* * *

Sango spent the day in my room, asleep. I woke her only to administer medicine and I was hesitant to leave her side. She had awoken once of her own accord, in the early morning while it was still dark out. A nightmare startled her awake and a panic attack ensued. I restrained her at first, as she had fallen out of the bed and was very disoriented and began to attack her surroundings. The restraint soon turned to an embrace, as I did my best to comfort her.

Once Sango was able to calm down, she confided in me what had happened to her because of seeking out and speaking with her brother. Naraku had attempted to force her into performing oral sex on him. She resisted and ended up getting sick in the process and had been anally raped and beaten as punishment.

I cried with her when she confessed her plight to me. I shed silent tears as I held her in my arms, and she clung to me like a scared child would to a parent. I had been a victim of Naraku's sexual abuse for as long as I could remember. I was the unfortunate target at first, simply because I was at the wrong place at the wrong time, and convenient. Then it became more of a punishment and an assertion of his dominance, increasing as my rebellious streak and independence grew. Even still, he was never as violent with me as he was with Sango. The last I saw of him in this light was almost a week before Sango was captured.

I presently sat on the bed with my back to the wall. I watched Sango as she slept beside me. Her face was still stained with tears from crying earlier. She was laying on her side, one arm under her pillow, the other folded at her side, in a makeshift sling. The previous night I had to pop her shoulder back into place. It was not a pleasant experience for either of us. Nonetheless, her perseverance never ceased to amaze me.

I was nearly drifting off to sleep myself when I heard a fast knock at my door. "Come in, I guess," I said loudly, cracking open one eye. The door slid open, revealing Rouge.

"Hey," she said, looking at me, "You're being summoned. Naraku needs you to go visit that Inuyasha guy and send him a 'gift'."

"Oh really?" I was already annoyed at her interruption of my relative peace. My annoyance grew tenfold when I felt Sango stir beside me. I don't know why the interruption of her rest angered me so.

"Morning," Rouge greeted Sango in a rough voice.

Sango glared at her and then collapsed once more on the bed, this time turning toward me. I had this strange urge to put my arm around her and quickly whisked the thought away.

"I guess _she's_ not a morning person," commented Rouge.

I shook my head and reached for my fan. I pulled it out and waved it gently in Rouge's direction. The door closed and sealed. I could hear her cursing and kicking the door a few times before taking her leave. _She's so annoying…_

"You're leaving?" Sango asked me, the tiniest sliver of fear evident in her voice. She pushed herself up into a seated position and leaned against the wall. She turned to look at me, a concerned look on her face.

"Unfortunately," I stated, lowly; annoyance dripped from the word. I shifted to leave the bed but was stopped by the feeling of Sango's hand gripping my sleeve. She would never say the words herself and admit it, but she was scared. I could feel it on her. Fear did not suit her.

"When are you coming back?" I disliked the pleading look hidden in her eyes. It made me feel… guilty.

"I'll return as soon as I can," I replied, hating that I did not have a real answer for her. She hesitantly let go of me and I headed toward the door. I gave her one last look before exiting. I really did not like leaving her there by herself, with Rouge running amok. I still had no reason to trust Rouge. Naraku would likely not become a problem until later. His disgusting activity tended to occur during dark hours.

* * *

_[Sango's point of view.]_

I couldn't be mad at Kagura for leaving me. Not really, anyway. She could die if she refused to carry out orders. I despised this new feeling of fear within me. I hated it almost as much as I hated being bedridden. My arm was in a sling, my shoulder healing, my dominant hand was still wrapped and recovering poorly from a fracture; and, as of last night, I had three broken ribs, and was now missing a tooth. I seethed in anger and hastily pulled the blanket over my head. Even that small movement sent jolts of pain through my body.

Groaning in both pain and annoyance, the realization dawned on me that I could not remember the last time I had eaten anything or had some water. I attempted to leave the bed, the motion of sitting up even brought pain; soreness originated at my tailbone climbed up my spine and sparked a small headache at the base of my skull. I laid back down, frustrated at my incapacitation. Focusing on my injuries and grounding myself with the physical experience of pain was less than ideal but far better than contemplating how I received these injuries in the first place… luckily, sleep claimed me once more.

I awoke sometime around dusk, judging from the view through the window. I unfortunately could not force myself to stay in bed any longer; food was becoming a mighty need. I was able to sit up with little discomfort this time, and was even strong enough to stand, somehow. Each step sent shockwaves of pain through my bones, but I managed to make it out of the room.

I traversed the halls, finally thinking I knew where I was going. A handful of wrong turns later, I had reached my destination: the kitchen. There was no one in sight and I was not surprised in the slightest. I briefly imagined this place bustling with life, while Prince Kagewake was still alive. He seemed like an honorable lord. It was a shame that his life was ended so abruptly and prematurely by Naraku…

Fresh vegetables and fruits lay on the table, with several glasses that appeared to be filled with water. I sat at the table and had my fill of food and drink, focusing solely on the rich tastes and textures. Satisfied with my small meal, I looked around the kitchen, admiring the architecture and overall design. This place must have truly been something back in the day. A large, deep cherry cabinet with gold trim on the doors caught my attention. I stood up and walked over to it. I cautiously surveyed the room before opening the doors.

Bottles upon bottles of liquor were inside, none of them less than half full. Some of the bottles were plain and see through, others the common amber glass, and some elegantly designed and decorated, such as one that looked to be manufactured of jade. I looked over my shoulder once more and then reached for the jade bottle. I was not much of a drinker, myself, although my father had liked to celebrate successful missions with a feast and ample supply of alcohol. I had my first taste of alcohol following my first demon hunt at age ten. It was horrendous.

Miroku loved alcohol; a trait that his mentor, Mushin, had likely helped him develop. Inuyasha rarely ever drank and when he did, it took a substantial quantity of liquor to even have any effect on him. While we were all offered copious amounts of hospitality, food, and drink, including alcohol, Kagome always politely declined the latter; in her time, apparently the legal drinking age is twenty. The look on Miroku's face when she first stated that fact was absolutely priceless. I occasionally partook in the joys of adult beverages, but have yet to ever experience becoming drunk.

Maybe it was time to change that. Naraku was gone, I had no clue where my brother was, Kagura was gone, I was alone… with my inner thoughts. The few times I did drink, sometimes to relieve stress, the "buzz" typically made me feel good. I could use that right now. I pulled the cork out of the jade bottle and sniffed it. It had a fruity scent that poorly masked the unmistakable smell of sake. I took a sip and I felt my eye twitch as I contemplated the flavor. Not bad; I've had far worse.

I set the bottle aside and reached for another, deciding to sample the small collection. Why not? I wasn't doing anything else and I was fairly certain that no one would be missing any of this alcohol. The thought of Naraku and his incarnations getting drunk was slightly amusing and I couldn't help but laugh out loud at the absurdity of my imagination. The next drink I sampled was alright, just plain sake; the one after was absolutely terrible, and so was the one after that. I decided to take the jade sake with me after deciding it was my favorite.

I spent the afternoon wandering the halls of the castle until I found the exit to the grounds with the koi pond. I was secretly hoping I would run into Kohaku there, a hope that was dashed upon my arrival to the waters. I had been sipping on my drink during the entire trip and as the haze of drunkenness began to cloud my vision, I felt myself becoming rather restless. My original plan was to come out and sit peacefully by the pond but now I opted for a longer walk around the grounds.

By the end of my little walk, the sun had begun to set, and my bottle was empty. And I was extremely intoxicated, my vision blurry and my gait clumsy and uncoordinated. I had no cares, though. I felt damn good for the time being, my mind wandering wherever and my short attention span fixating on the most miniscule things in my immediate surroundings, such as a bird, tree, flower, or Rouge.

Rouge?

The fire demon stood at the top of the steps leading inside the castle. She raised an eyebrow at me, and her hand rested on her hip, fingers brushing the handle of her sheathed sword.

"Well, well, well!" I greeted; my better judgement completely obliterated by the sake. "To what do I owe the extreme pleasure of this surprising visit?" I think I wanted to fight her? Maybe…

"You're intoxicated, taijiya," bluntly stated Rouge. She took a step back.

"You guessed right!" I answered as I approached her, swaying in my steps.

Rouge skirted around me as I passed her, never averting her violet eyes. "You should go lay down."

I laughed loudly, "Why do you care?"

She blinked at me and clapped a hand to her forehead. "I don't! Just… fucking annoying…"

I was amused with this. "Then fight me, Rouge."

She shook her head and turned to leave, "No… no…"

"Are you really backing out of a challenge? _The Great Rouge_?!" I teased and grabbed her forearm.

"There's no challenge, girl; you're fucking _trashed_!" Rouge jerked her arm out of my grasp.

For reasons unbeknownst to myself, I _really_ wanted to fight. Like, _really_ … "Oh come on!"

" _Hell_ no!"

I lunged forward and grabbed her arm again. She pulled away once more and roughly grabbed me by the shoulders. I could feel her claws digging into my skin beyond my clothing and something snapped in my mind. _His face_ … I could no longer see Rouge; I just saw Naraku grinning at me. I could feel an uneasy panic rising inside me…

_Crash!_

I was slightly sobered by the noise and the realization of my actions. My heart raced and I could hear my pulse blaring violently in my ears. I looked from the shocked look on Rouge's face, her amethyst eyes wide with astonishment, to the broken bottle in my hand, the jade neck still held tightly and fiercely in my grasp.

That's it. I was going to die, here, now, because I just broke a liquor bottle on Rouge's head.

Time stood still and we locked eyes.

And she left.

Rouge turned on her heel and began walking down the steps, following the path to the koi pond and woods, like nothing had happened.

Shaking, I looked to the remnants of glass in my hand and then dropped them carelessly. I looked up to the sky, swirls of orange and red bleeding into purple with the birth of night. There were so many stars. I began my lonely trip back to my quarters, the primal and inexplicable desire to fight was gone. I just wanted sleep now.

I was finding it harder and harder to keep my balance and I clung to the walls frequently as I tried desperately to find my room. Or at least Kagura's. Eventually, I made it past the kitchen, which told me I was at least heading in the correct direction. I glimpsed the liquor cabinet in passing and felt my stomach churn. Suddenly, I wasn't feeling too great anymore.

To my greatest disdain, I literally ran into Naraku toward the end of my trek. I had walked right into him as I was turning a corner. I looked up at his face, as he stood a full foot taller than me. He glared back, his small red eyes narrowed in disgust. I was so drunk by now; I could not tell what I even felt at this random encounter.

 _"Sango…"_ I hated the way he said my name.

"What do you want?" I dared to ask.

He was silent for a moment and he looked me up and down. The smallest part of me even cared at this point. "You're drunk."

_"And?"_

He walked past me, shoving his shoulder into mine as he did so. I grunted in pain, that being the same shoulder that had recently been popped back into place.

 _"Nothing?!"_ I called out after him as he slowly traversed down the hall. _What the hell?_ I was so confused. Or maybe just drunk. What was even happening? "Aren't you going to do anything? Don't you want to fight me? Or at least say something?" I don't know what I was saying, could just feel anger brimming to the surface, breaking through the numb.

"Do you have a death wish, Sango?" asked Naraku, slightly turning halfway in my direction. His energy was cold, quiet, void. Terrifying.

Within seconds, he materialized next to me, forcing me against the wall, clawed hands on my shoulders. "I repeat: _Do you have a death wish_?"

"Not right now…" My words were slurred, and my mind was all over the place; my emotions were swinging wildly between fear, anger, and sadness. I wanted to rip him apart molecule by molecule and set fire to his remains and I also wanted to disappear.

Naraku slammed me against the wall once more and brought his face within centimeters of mine. I could feel his warm breath against my face, and I turned my head and closed my eyes.

"Sango," he started, "I thought you were a fighter. A warrior. Someone strong… Instead I am hearing hints that you would opt to take the coward's way out. Is this true, my dear?'

I struggled against him, rage presently manifesting. "Don't call me that!"

Naraku leaned into me, putting all his weight against my body. It became a little harder to breathe and I stiffened in fear, my sick new learned response to his scent and overall presence. He took note of my discomfort.

"You fear me, Sango…" He relieved some of the pressure while at the same time digging his claws further into my skin. I think I could feel blood being drawn. "Your fear amuses me. I promised you I would break you. It's becoming easier and easier every day; I can see you slipping…"

"No—"

"Yes," Naraku continued. "Any inkling of fight left in you is inconsistent. You do what you must because you know no better. You're nothing but a weak woman and a stupid mortal, little more than a child. You can't protect yourself, let alone your friends and beloved little brother. And you are stupid enough to even consider standing up for that imbecile, Kagura..." His hand moved from my shoulder to my hip and snaked around my waist, his fingertips stroking my lower back. I instinctively jerked and tried desperately to get away from him. "You would be wise to choose your battles with your own best interest in mind, lest you want a repeat of last night…"

 _"NO!"_ I started to cry, my mind begging him not to hurt me like that again. I couldn't take that. No… _"No, no, no, no…! Please don't touch me, please don't hurt me…. Please…"_ I sobbed, blinded by tears, my movements slowing. I was powerless and would surrender. The fire was dying down inside, and I could feel my drunken bravery turning to ash.

Naraku released me and then brought his hand up to caress the side of my face. "It's a shame," he said quietly. "You were so pretty, once." He removed his hand as if my flesh had burnt him and he gently pushed me aside. "No man will ever want you now. Not that anyone would have before, aside from possibly that perverted monk you kept in your company. But now, you are tainted, having lain with me. It was a pleasure to be your first—"

His words cut through my soul and tore at the very core of my being. _"Shut up! Just shut the hell up and leave me alone!"_

He approached me once more and hastily grabbed my wrists together with one hand. He pinned my hands above my head and leaned in to whisper in my ear. "I love watching you squirm, Sango. I love watching the embers of hatred fizzle out and attempt to reignite just to attempt to defy me. Your fire reminds me of Kikyo, in a way. Your soul will never compare, though; you're too hardened, even beyond that of the clay woman who walks with her image. But your body suffices either way." I cringed at his words, feeling sickness overcoming me. Nausea and a more sinister, rare, feeling, that I kept locked away in the back of my mind.

"Do you like it when I touch you?" he asked in a gruff whisper. I violently shook my head, tears streaming down my face. "Did you enjoy me our first night? Or last? Or was I too rough? I suppose I should have been gentler, with something as fragile as you…"

"Never…" I managed. "I never wanted any of that…"

"Such a shame," offered Naraku, "Your lack of experience is both amusing and surprising to me. You're fucking gorgeous. When you don't make me defile your beauty with more bruises."

A sinister laugh escaped him as he let go of me. I slumped to the floor, terrified. "I can smell your fear. You're shaking." He moved as if he were about to hit me, and I instinctively curled up and covered my head with my hands. Naraku's laugh doubled in volume. "You cower in fear like the weak, senseless mortal you are. Pathetic. Waste of a warrior. Worthless. Don't worry, Sango, I will leave you be for the night. While your fright excites and arouses me, your intoxication does not."

His footsteps faded as he walked down the hall. I stared listlessly into the darkness as my mind traveled to equally dark places. Naraku's words echoed in my mind; they made me feel as disgusting as his touch. Not only has he managed to physically overcome me and rob me of the last ounce of innocence I possessed; he spoke the harshest insults to my character and my emotions, slowly killing any remaining dignity I could cling to.

I fluttered in and out of consciousness. Everything was spinning and waves of nausea periodically distracted me from what may have been broken sleep. I was half asleep at times, dreams and rest replaced with memories I wish I didn't have.

_His clawed hands explored my body, nails digging into my sensitive flesh, leaving his marks._

_I am worthless._

_I could feel his fangs break skin on my shoulder, a drop of blood escaping and running down my chest._

_I am disgusting._

_I could still feel him thrusting in and out of me, the unbearable pain of his first contact destroying my senses and scarring my body and mind forever._

_I am less than nothing._

I felt like I was watching myself in third person and I felt separated from my body. I struggled to stand up and then began a slow, uncoordinated walk through the halls.

_No matter where I go, no matter how fast I run, he will catch up to me. And if he doesn't, I will…_

At some point I broke into a run. My surroundings blurred past me and on more than one occasion, I tripped in my drunken haste, only to return to an ungraceful sprint, my heart pounding, my mind breaking, hot tears stinging my face.

I came upon a set of doors and burst through them, presented with the sight of a balcony and railing, the beautiful night sky painting the background. The noise in my head was louder than life and far stronger than the serenity of the scene before me. I let out an anguished, desperate scream and charged toward the balcony.

_I can't take this anymore… I refuse…_

_To hell with it all._

I jumped.


	9. Chapter Eight: Adrenalize

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: "Adrenalize" by In This Moment]

_[Rouge's point of view.]_

_Is it true, what the wind sorceress tells me? Is Naraku really the one who killed my family?_

I went for a stroll around the castle grounds and found my way into the woods. I've always loved forests and found solace among the animals and nature. Good place to clear one's head. The healing properties of nature had failed me tonight, however. I returned to my new base, more full of confusion than before, and feeling slightly defeated after discovering a barrier around the land, about one-hundred yards deep in any direction away from the castle. I was too weak to break the barrier.

_"Ami looks so happy," I mused, watching my older sister dancing with my friend-turned-brother-in-law, about twenty paces away, barely within earshot._

_"Damien better be good to her." I turned to look at my fiancé beside me. A tall handsome boy with tan skin, snow white hair, and teal eyes._

_Yokama chuckled and put his arms around me. He planted a gentle kiss on the side of my neck, and I shivered and playfully pushed him away. "They're right over there, you know…"_

_"Oh, let 'em look," he joked. "And for the record, I do think Damien will be quite good to her. He adores her, Rouge. Ami is a queen and deserves to be treated as such." He quickly and lightly rose to his feet and then reached into his pocket. "And on that note…"_

_My love got down on one knee and grabbed both my hands in his, clasping them together. I could feel his fist balled up, like he was hiding something. He looked into my eyes and I could feel our souls connecting._

_"Rouge," he started, unclasping his hand within mine. I felt smooth warm metal in my palm. "Will you marry me and bear my children? Will you unite our clans and create a legacy with me?"_

_My heart stopped and the oxygen left my lungs. "Yokama-!"_

_"Is that a yes...?" His voice shook, emotion welled in his beautiful irises._

_I struggled to find a simple word. Finally, "Yes! A thousand times, yes!" I unclasped my hands and peered down at the small gift he left: a golden ring with traces of turquoise laced throughout, like tiny lightning strikes in the sky of a summer storm. I equipped the jewelry to my ring finer and marveled at it. I looked back to Yokama, who was blushing madly, that cute, idiotic grin on his face that I had grown to love so much. I lunged at him and captured him in a tight hug. He gently wrapped his arms around me, holding me close. I could feel his strong heart beating in his chest and I purred into his shoulder._

_I loved this boy with all my heart and soul._

_What felt like an eternity later, I broke our embrace. Beyond Yokama, I could see Ami and Damien approaching us, hand in hand._

_"Looks like Yokama finally manned up and proposed," noted Damien._

_Ami nudged him in the ribs with her elbow. "Hey, now, it's a big deal!" She winked at us and gave her mate a playful, warning smile. She turned to us, making eye contact with me, specifically._

_"Ami, do you approve of such a creature asking for your sister's hand in marriage?" Damien joked._

_"I approve," she stated, letting go of his hand and walking toward me, "I whole-heartedly approve." Ami stopped in front of me. "Come on, let's go for a walk." She motioned for me to follow her, then called out over her shoulder, "Girls only!"_

_We left our mates and walked into the forest. We stopped at a clearing and Ami turned to me. She gazed wistfully at the beautiful foliage surrounding us and inhaled the calming fragrance of the forest. It was the edge of our small portion of land, land that I tried so fiercely to protect. The land of my family. I was the last of them. And this sacred place was all I had left of their memory._

_"Rouge," said Ami. We locked eyes. She was beautiful. She was a little taller than me, by mere centimeters, her figure more slender than mine yet slightly more filled out as she was the older one. She had long, dark brown hair that fell past her shoulders about halfway down her back. My sister possessed soft facial features which were balanced nicely by a strong jawline and angular facial structure. She had thin eyebrows and wide, deep blue eyes. I was attractive enough to capture the gaze and heart of the ghost demon, Yokama, but I paled in comparison to my sister's beauty._

_And her grace. And intelligence. And prowess in battle. She was a bat demon who fought primarily with agility and tactic, resorting to spells and brute force only when called for. Ami was calculating and patient, something I longed to be. She would wait for hours, stalking our prey, before striking; whereas, I normally lost my patience early and just came at them throwing fireballs and punches._

_"Rouge," Ami said again, startling me out of my thoughts, "I think it's time I give you this." She reached for the sword at her side and then handed it to me, safe in its sheath._

_"Why?" I asked. "That's your sword!"_

_"No," said Ami, "It's actually not. It belonged to your mother." I took the weapon in my hands, examining it. The sheath was a dull brown speckled with the smallest amethyst crystals. "She asked me to keep it safe for you before she died; she made me promise to give it to you when the time was right."_

_I unsheathed the blade, and something compelled me to grip the hilt with both hands. The blade glowed a faint purple and then was slowly engulfed by cool, violet flames. "I've never seen it do this before…" I mused. I felt winds pick up around us, as if we were not alone._

_"The blade has found its rightful owner, it seems," noted Ami. I looked above through the canopies of the trees and could have sworn I saw a shooting star through that small visage of night sky._

I had made it back to the castle grounds, having just crossed the bridge from the koi pond and gazebo. The serenity of my scene was broken by a loud, piercing scream. My natural reaction was to whip out my blade and scan my surroundings. I gripped the handle and the weapon pulsed violet. I spun around, first checking behind me for any sign of a threat. Nothing. Nothing at all in my immediate surroundings.

Cautiously moving forward, I restarted my approach to the castle. Something was off. I smelled something. Alcohol, tears, fear… _the taijiya._ I remembered she had been drinking. I could see no one and nothing at my ground level and looked up on instinct.

I looked up just in time to see the demon slayer throw herself off a balcony, approximately three stories up.

I dropped my blade and ran, something compelling me to break her fall. I jumped forward with outstretched arms and caught her at the last minute. We fell to the ground in a pile and I held her awkwardly close. I looked down at her and examined her features. She was still very intoxicated and bordering between sleep and wake. It was apparent she had been crying. With her eyes closed, she looked to be essentially a copy of my dearly departed sister. They looked _exactly_ alike; it was stunning. I froze, loosely holding onto her.

_"Rouge?" Her voice…_

I could feel tears welling my eyes. "Ami…?"

"Who…?" Her eyes fluttered open briefly, revealing chocolate brown irises. Ami had blue eyes… She soon passed out in my arms. I sat there for a moment, dumbfounded. I finally got up to collect my weapon, and then returned to retrieve the fallen slayer.

I was so conflicted. Surely, she wouldn't be capable of….

_But what if?_

I had carried the girl through the halls of our makeshift home, following the scent of the wind witch to what was hopefully their wing of the castle. I stopped in front of a door that held the strongest concentration of Kagura's scent. I looked down at Sango's sleeping form, becoming very skeptical that she was the murderer of my sister and also reminded for a fleeting moment of a happier time when I had to carry Ami home, who was also very drunk at the time…

I sighed and knocked on the door. I heard soft footsteps and the door slid open to reveal the wind demoness herself. Before she could throw any hasty accusations in my direction, I offered my words. "Here," I stepped into the room and in a few paces, set Sango down on the bed, "I found her outside upon return from my hike."

"She reeks of alcohol," noted Kagura.

I nodded and then shook my head, bringing my palm to my face. "She is indeed very drunk." I turned to Kagura. "I passed her on my way out and she wasn't that bad. Something must have happened."

"What makes you say that?" Asked Kagura suspiciously.

I groaned, not wanting to confess to my earlier sight. It is something that would likely haunt me soon, basically seeing a ghost of my sister attempt to jump to her death. "She jumped off a balcony by the pond." Kagura's eyes widened. I averted my gaze and instead focused on Sango, a troubled look on her sleeping face. "If I hadn't shown up when I did, I don't think she would be here…"

Kagura rushed to her side, concern evident in her actions as she checked the girl's pulse and placed her hand on her forehead.

"Sango, my dear," I said quietly to both the passed-out slayer herself and no one at all, "why must you haunt me so by looking like my dead sister?" I gently touched the side of her face with my fingertips. She moved her head ever so slightly. I turned to leave and said nothing more, leaving the troubled slayer girl in the care of the wind sorceress.

_My work here is done._

* * *

_[Sango's point of view.]_

_Never had I ever had a hangover before…_

I threw up into the toilet again and then miserably lowered myself to the floor. I held my arms to my stomach, hoping the pressure would alleviate this vile ache plaguing my insides. The headache from hell refused to leave and I had yet for my sensitive eyes to accept any form of light, including the small flicker of a candle's flame in the middle of the large room, near the bath that Kagura had so kindly drawn up for me. The water was probably cold now; I had not moved much from this very spot since my awakening a few hours ago, when I sprinted in haste from the bed to the toilet to violently purge the contents of my stomach.

_Never again…_

I couldn't remember much of last night. I remembered a brief confrontation with Rouge, then one with Naraku. My "chat" with Rouge left me confusion, and all I could associate with my brief encounter with Naraku was a sample of depression and frustration. I wondered if Kagura knew anything more… she had been unusually close to me all day, refusing to leave my side, and watching me with the careful eye of a close friend, the way Kagome looked after Inuyasha, Miroku, and me.

We hadn't spoken much today, mostly because I just couldn't bring myself to translate my jumbled thoughts into words. There was a possibility that I was still a little drunk from last night. I finally managed to pull myself together enough to undress and crawl over to the bath. The water was still a little warm; the perfect temperature to soothe my aching bones but not overheat me and make me feel sick again.

I actually fell asleep in the bath and was woken up by the cold water. I quickly got out and dried off, somewhat too quickly. My sudden movements caused an unpleasant feeling in the pit of my stomach and I rushed to the toilet once more in preparation of getting sick yet again. I heard the door open and footsteps behind me just before I heaved into the toilet.

"Sango, are you ok?" I heard Kagura's voice and felt soft hands on my shoulders that soon pulled my hair back and gently tied it up in a short, messy ponytail.

"I'm good," I mumbled, holding my towel around my body. I turned around and looked at Kagura, who sat beside me, concern in her eyes. She held out a cup to me. A strange paranoia made me question whether or not alcohol was in there.

"It's just mint water," offered Kagura, "it should help get the taste out of your mouth and help your stomach if you just sip on it."

I was not sure that I deserved her kindness and I was certainly unsure where it was coming from.

* * *

"I'm sure you're all wondering why I have summoned each of you here…"

I gritted my teeth and tried hard to keep my mouth shut as Naraku spoke. Naraku sat on his throne with Kanna so obediently positioned standing at his side, mirror in hand, as always. Kohaku, Kagura, Rouge, and I all bowed at his feet, about six paces away from where he was seated. My anger seethed, being forced to bow to this monstrosity. My irritation was at an all-time high today, as I was still sore and sick from my drinking the night before. When I had first learned of our being summoned to Naraku for a "meeting", I blew up in a fit of rage, still a little drunk, and Kagura had restrained me, warning me to cool off and lay low for the time being, due to my injuries.

She was not wrong. My mind was breaking, my body already broken. Kagura's medicines and spells worked wonders at healing my injuries, but some remained. My ribs were still healing, as was my broken hand. My shoulder felt a lot better today, only rare semblances of the pain remained. Bruises and cuts still adorned my body in various places, but they showed promise of healing and no longer hurt. My internal thirst for vengeance and battle returned as I recovered today, but I begrudgingly felt that I should heed Kagura's warnings for once and bite my tongue. I shall save my energy for another fight, another day.

"Kanna and the saimyosho have discovered quite a few jewel shards on the Northern coast—"

"Northern coast, you say?" Interrupted Rouge.

"Yes," continued Naraku, "I'm getting to that, Rouge."

"That's where I'm from!" She nearly broke her bow, remaining low but on one knee. Excitement radiated from the young fire demon's presence.

"I am planning an excursion up that way, to obtain these fragments," explained Naraku. "I was hoping you, Kohaku, and Kanna would be so kind as to accompany me."

"Is that even a question?" asked Rouge. "When do we leave?"

Naraku smirked. "You're so eager, Rouge… I like that."

"I haven't been there in years… since I was a small child…" Rouge sounded lost in her memories.

Kagura spoke up. "Why am I not going with you on this journey?" Her voice sounded as if she were feigning anger, like she was putting on an act and truly had no desire to go with them on this adventure.

Naraku averted his gaze to her and narrowed his eyes, his face forming a sneer. "Your little display of rebellion from the other day, allowing the demon slayers to converse… a big mistake." He looked to me. "Plus, I need someone to stay here and watch over the elder sibling."

"Why?" I asked. "I'm clearly not going anywhere."

"Because I know what you attempted last night, you ungrateful mortal!" Naraku snapped. He motioned Kanna forward, who held out her mirror.

A mist within the mirror was replaced by an image of the balcony above the back entrance to the castle, near the koi pond. A woman suddenly appeared at the edge and jumped, only to be caught just in time by… Rouge? The image replayed once more. I looked more closely this time and a startling realization hit me.

_That was me!_

I clapped my hands over my mouth, my eyes wide. _That's why Kagura has been so watchful today…_ I couldn't remember any of that…

I stole a glance at her beside me. She was bowed low, her face touching the ground, forehead obscured by her dark bangs, like she did not want to see the image in Kanna's mirror.

_"Stupid!"_

I felt a fist collide with my face and I fell backward. I rubbed the point of contact and looked up. Naraku was standing before me, angrily clenching his fists.

"A coward's way out," he sneered, turning his back to me. I felt my face turning red with embarrassment. I wondered if Kohaku was conscious for any of this… "Is your life so terrible here that you would rather die than keep on living?"

"Sango…?" I heard Kohaku's voice from on the other side of Kagura. I turned in his direction and he sat up on his knees to look at me. "What happened?" He looked to Naraku, as well. "Naraku, what happened? What are you talking about?" Thankfully, I don't think he had seen the mirror…

Naraku walked over to the boy and pulled him to his feet by his arms. He turned to me, violence in his eyes and venom in his words, "Should you expire during your stay here, I will make certain that this boy takes your place!"

"What? Naraku, let me go! I've done nothing!" Kohaku struggled, alarm and confusion in his voice.

Before I could even fathom a rational response, I launched myself at Naraku, knocking Kohaku out of the way. My hands wrapped tightly around the demon's throat as I landed on top of him. All my fear had subsided, replaced with this innate, overwhelming anger and desire to protect my younger sibling, no matter the cost.

 _"If you ever lay your hands on him again, I'll fucking tear you apart!"_ Part of me was shocked at my own aggression. I tried desperately to choke the life out of the demon beneath me but soon his own shock had worn off and he managed to pry my hands off his throat and shoved me to the side. I moved to get up, fueled by adrenaline, blinded by rage. I was stopped in my tracks as soon as I went to run at him again. I looked dead ahead at Naraku.

He stood completely still, his hand outstretched, palm wide open. A blackened force seemed to be concentrated around his form. He moved his hand back and then forcefully forward. As he did so, I flew backward and hit a wall; the force knocked the air out of my lungs and I slid down the wall and to the floor, gasping for breath.

 _"Sango…"_ I heard Kohaku's quiet voice. I opened my eyes and pushed myself up on my hands and knees. The sound of chains and metal against metal broke into my stupor and stole my full attention. The sight before me was startling: Kohaku had pulled out the kusarigama and flung it at Naraku. "Leave her alone, Naraku! I beg of you!" Naraku was holding up a sword of his own, blocking Kohaku's blade.

Kohaku pulled the weapon back and hurled it at the demon once more, this time, it knocked the blade from his hands. Naraku's eyes widened and he reached for his fallen weapon. Kohaku was too quick; the kusarigama almost hit Naraku's outstretched hand. Naraku dodged the weapon, grabbed Kanna, and then disappeared in a cloud of miasma.

I got up and stumbled to the group, covering my mouth with my hands. "Miasma!" I warned Kohaku. I put my arms around him and pulled him against me, trying to protect him from the poison gas.

The miasma cleared and everyone was surveying the room, searching for Naraku. I heard laughter from above, the undeniable evil sounds of Naraku, satisfied with whatever he was scheming. I looked up and spotted him crouched on the rafters above, Kanna standing next to him. Naraku stood up, a sly smile on his face.

"Well played, Kohaku," he said, "I never would have expected that from you." He produced something from his pocket, a round, dirt-colored object, that I couldn't quite make out. "You have certainly surprised me. Let's see how you deal with this little curveball of mine…" He tossed the object into the air and I could hear faint buzzing.

_Oh no…_

That was a saimyosho hive.

Naraku kicked the hive as it came down and sent it flying into our gathering below. A horde of saimyosho erupted from it, rightfully enraged, and began to swarm us. The air was so thick with the insects and traces of miasma from both their poison and that which lingered from Naraku's earlier escape. I held onto Kohaku, shielding him as best as I could, but to no avail. The saimyosho had already stung both of us several times. I could hear Rouge cursing and feel the wind from her sword as she swung it at the insects. I could also feel a cooler, more controlled wind, indicating that Kagura had too joined the scuffle.

 _"God damn bees!"_ I heard Rouge curse. _"FIRESTARTER!"_ I could see a purple glow amidst the swarm and soon a wave of amethyst flames cut through the insects, barely missing Kohaku and I. "This is all your fault!" Rouge pointed an accusing finger at Kohaku. "Boy, I'm going to kick your ass! Sango, move!"

"Over my dead body!" I pushed Kohaku behind me and shielded him from Rouge. She threw her sword angrily to the side.

"I didn't say I was going to kill the little bastard!" she stated, cracking her knuckles, and approaching us slowly. She slapped away a few saimyosho as they stung her. The sight was almost comical. "I will not ask you again, Sango… _Get out of my way!_ "

"No!" I ran at her and swung my fist at her face. She ducked and ran for Kohaku. I saw him jump over her in a somersault as she approached. He flung the kusarigama at her, piercing her shoulder.

"You little shit, get back here and fight me!" Rouge turned and lunged at Kohaku, completely ignoring her new flesh wound.

He dodged her attack and launched his blade at her again. She jumped out of the way and rolled on her side, gracefully going back to her feet after grabbing her sword. I charged at her myself, knocking into her with my shoulder. Rouge stumbled backward and swung at me with her claws. I dodged her attack and attempted a low kick to her shins. I hit my target and she fell; I threw myself on top of her, trying to disarm her once more. My approach was too careless, however, and the fire demon easily brought her knee to my stomach and forced me off her. I landed beside her, groaning in pain, trying hard not to get sick again.

My arms and legs burned with stings and I could feel the saimyosho poison starting to take effect. I was worried for Kohaku as well. He was standing across the room, far enough away from Rouge. He held his weapon protectively in front of him, feet planted in a fighting stance. But he was starting to waver. I watched him shake his head and occasionally swat at the insects as they presumably stung him.

 _"Kohaku!"_ I called his name as I tried to stand up. The world was spinning again… I leaned against the wall, grasping aimlessly at it for support.

Rouge slowly walked toward Kohaku, one hand balled in a fist, the other held tightly around her sword. She cut through the saimyosho once more before further approaching my brother.

"DANCE OF THE DRAGON!" Kagura cried out, her voice strained from projection. I almost forgot she was there. She sent a gust of wind into the middle of the small battle scene.

Rouge stopped and turned toward the wind sorceress. The gust turned into a small tornado that began sucking up the saimyosho. Rouge was soon added to its small list of victims as well. The offshoot winds from the small cyclone managed to knock me down. I covered my head once I hit the floor, unsure how violent this display was about to become, and how long it would last.

Soon, the saimyosho were all trapped within the tornado and I was able to view Kohaku from across the room. Naraku was crouched beside him.

"Kohaku!" I cried out, reaching for him. I tried to get up but could not muster the strength. The poison was making me too weak.

Naraku carefully picked him up and left the room, followed by Kanna. The tornado stopped suddenly, dissipating, and Rouge was released to the floor in a heap of dead insects and destroyed furniture. It was dead silent. Quiet footsteps were the first sounds to be heard, as Kagura hastily approached Rouge's body. She nudged the fire demon in the ribs with her foot.

Kagura turned to me. "She's not dead; just knocked out."

I did not know what to say. I was thankful, I suppose. Rouge was a little scary. And she most certainly was not on my good side, at the moment. _It's not Kohaku's fault we got attacked by saimyosho…_

I could feel the familiar threat of unconsciousness pulling at my psyche and I closed my eyes. I felt so sick, likely a mixture of poison and the remains of my hangover. I was jarred awake by the feeling of a hand on my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see Kagura crouched in front of me.

"Can you walk?" she asked. I noticed she had several cuts and stings on her face.

"I can try," I answered. I moved to get up and Kagura extended her hands. I took them and we both stood up and examined the damage to the room.

The place was utterly destroyed. Dead insects and broken furniture lay scattered about. Various burn marks and holes graced the once beautiful floors and walls.

"Let's get out of here," suggested Kagura. "I don't want to be the one to clean this up."

I couldn't help but laugh at her words.


	10. Chapter Nine: Isolate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: Isolate by Rootkit]

A cool breeze, unusual for late summer but welcome nonetheless, danced across my face and played with my hair. I inhaled the soft, sweet scent of the outdoors and reveled in mother nature's soothing caress. I could smell the comfort of the grass beneath me; its small, green blades adding physical solace as I lay on the ground, watching clouds soar slowly above me across a gorgeous light blue sky.

My skepticism remained, my guard always up, but I could honestly say that today has been a good day so far. After the saimyosho incident the night before, Kagura and I had escaped to her quarters, where she treated our bee stings and the poison. I could barely stay awake for the intervention and had fallen asleep mid-conversation with the wind sorceress. I woke up, feeling renewed, and pleasantly free of pain for the first time since before my capture.

Kagura left me a note on the bedside table, along with a sandwich and some tea, explaining that she had been summoned to help clean up the destruction from last night. I couldn't help but laugh as I read the note; I could hear her words as if she were speaking them to me; her writing became sloppy and rough toward the end, explaining about the cleaning and repairs. That was a task she was hoping to avoid; I knew she was probably very agitated by being forced to play clean-up crew.

I don't know how I managed to get out of it, myself. Granted, I didn't drop kick a beehive into a small meeting to begin with, and I also was not responsible for the flames that scorched the room or the tornado that destroyed the scene in general. The whole fiasco would have been quite entertaining to watch, I am sure; however, at the time, it was not a very pleasant experience. That was certainly high in my mental ranking of strangest battles I have ever fought in. I found myself actually excited at the prospect of sharing that story with my friends once we were reunited.

_My friends…_

I missed them dearly. I had become so accustomed to isolation, having spent most of my time growing up either in one-on-one slayer training with my father or caring for Kohaku. I knew how to navigate social interactions enough to be deemed likeable by most and I was always polite in conversation; I was most comfortable on my own, though, an extrovert who was secretly an introvert. I preferred to watch from afar and throw in my two cents when necessary. I preferred hiking with my brother and Kirara to wild parties in the community. I have been that way for years.

Despite my introversion and comfort in my own company, I had become so close to my new friends, Inuyasha, Miroku, Kagome, and Shippo. They had essentially become my new family. Shippo reminded me of a feistier version of Kohaku when he was really young; the kitsune was practically our communal younger brother. Kagome was my best friend and like a sister to me. Growing up in the slayer village, I typically hung around the boys, preferring their rougher company to that of the girls; however, part of me always kind of craved the close friendships that girls seemed to have with one another. Kagome satisfied that secretive longing of mine. The futuristic miko was always overjoyed to spend 'girl time' with me, even if that was just talking about anything, everything, and especially the guys and the ridiculous things they said and did sometimes.

The guys… Inuyasha was my brother-in-arms. There was no other way to put it. Out of our whole group, I had to admit, albeit only to myself, I felt the closest to him. I appreciated Kagome's desire to discuss things on a deeper level, such as emotions; and I was thankful that Miroku could drop the antics and check up on me every now and then.

Even Shippo's kindness and childlike innocence and inquiries were small things I was extremely grateful for. However, I preferred the way Inuyasha approached me on such matters. Not that I ever truly became cross with the others; I just never did well with emotions.

Maybe it was a warrior thing, I don't know. But Inuyasha understood it and we had a silent respect for one another. Some days when I felt at my lowest, either trying to run away from my inner demons and the despair they tried to pull me into, or when I felt so angry I could destroy everything and set the world ablaze, I would welcome Inuyasha's company. I never sought out his comfort, but if he happened across me on my dark days, I would not send him away, either.

Not that I undermined the suffering of the others. No, not at all, never. Even Shippo had known suffering, at such a young age, and in one of the worst ways. Losing his father so violently and suddenly while he was still a cub… that was one of the harshest things that vicariously haunted me.

Out of the five of us, Kagome had suffered the least. Although, she had come to terms quickly about the true dangers presented in this day and age, the exact opposite of her own time. Not that she didn't know pain and frustration; she did. Perhaps my jaded demeanor and slight lack of understanding led me to see her stance through this frame of mind. My younger friend still saw the world through rose-tinted lenses, whereas I had my blinders removed long ago during childhood.

I wondered sometimes what it was like in her time. I remembered very vividly a conversation we had once, way back when I had first joined the group. Kagome spoke of how people our age in her time only really had to worry about formal education, interaction with family and friends, the occasional job, and dating. Kagome put emphasis on the dating part. It blew my mind that, first off, there were no demons in her time, and secondly, people could just go about their lives, enjoying the smaller things on a daily basis, not constantly stalked by death, violence, the deceased, and overall encompassing existential dread.

If Kohaku and I were in her time, maybe we would live like she did with her own brother, Sota. Maybe we could have all gone to 'school' together, and my brother and I would at least maybe still have Father. What could I have been? I couldn't imagine myself as anything other than a demon slayer; my only other option in life would have been a homemaker, and domestic life was something that just never suited me. My little brother was actually the more docile and domesticated one, of the two of us, and thusly, he was always better at cooking and cleaning than I was (even though I was the one who raised him!). Women in Kagome's time held all sorts of jobs, though, beyond that of traditionally 'feminine' roles. Kagome once told me she could see me as an officer in the future military… I didn't quite understand at first but as she explained, the idea of our silly alternate reality entertained me, at least.

In the future, girls our age were primarily preoccupied with boys, on top of educational duties. I wish I had time to worry about crushes and dating and I wish something so trivial was the sole cause of my problems. Kagome liked to discuss the idea of Miroku and I being together. It was indeed a thought that frequently crossed my mind and a small blush formed on my face even as I thought of these things now. I had feelings for him, yes, but they were locked away in a part of my mind that I veered away from most days.

Miroku was handsome, confident, brave… I could go on. I detested him at first, initially viewing him as a lecherous swindler who disrespected women. Lecherous, yes, swindler, sometimes, disrespectful… debatable. His intentions behind asking every woman ever to bear his children were not the most noble, but they made sense. He was also just a natural flirt who spoke suave words, dripping with honey. As I grew to know him, I was able to see past the comical and frustrating perversion and the wisecracks.

I had only held one other crush in my lifetime, if I could call it that: a boy named Jou from my village, also a demon slayer. He was my best friend growing up. Like Miroku, he was a flirt. Even at the tender age of six, he brought me a small bouquet of handpicked flowers. I slapped him for it and told him I could pick my own flowers. The village girls swooned over Jou as we grew older, but his eyes always rested on me. I had no clue why; I was rough and quiet. Jou was handsome and lively; he could have easily won over any girl he wanted.

Needless to say, he absolutely _hated_ the end of our first demon extermination together: the destruction of the bear demon at Takeda castle. Jou's jealousy toward the young lord who fell for me was hilarious. He wouldn't leave me alone the rest of the night until I convinced him to spar with me and then threw him over my shoulder and into a ravine. I can still see his face as he sat in the shallow water, blinking cluelessly, his dark, reddish-brown bangs hanging over one eye, a fish flopping in his lap.

It truly is a shame that Jou had to perish with the rest of my slayer brethren, vicariously at the hands of Naraku; his untimely demise cemented in memory, through the blade of my brother's kusarigama. I don't think I loved Jou, however, I did not get the time to develop such feelings for him. The most we ever experienced together was an awkward dance at a village celebration and all the times he nervously held my hand, usually for me to pull it away, embarrassed and confused by his advances.

Miroku reminded me of Jou, to a degree. They both held a carefree demeanor, sometimes masking their own fears and insecurities with jokes and displays. Unlike Jou, however, I occasionally let Miroku hold my hand and I accepted (and even secretly welcomed, at times) his attention. Miroku and I connected on a slightly deeper level than I did with Jou. The grim truth of those connections likely existed due to shared griefs and family tragedies that came into being as a result of Naraku's treachery. The most intimate moment between Jou and I consisted of a blood pact when we were nine, the day we officially joined the ranks of the demon slayers.

Miroku and I had shared a kiss, _my first kiss,_ borne of alcohol and brooding. Our group had managed to save a village from a horde of demons that turned out to be sent by Naraku, utilizing Kohaku as their ringleader. I didn't chase Kohaku that time, mostly because Inuyasha stopped me. _"It's not worth it… he'll be back. Enjoy the festivities for once; Kami knows you could use it."_ The village offered us more than acceptable pay, affluent lodging, and access to the best tavern in town, famed for having the finest food and drinks. I did not get drunk but allowed myself to relax with the aid of some sake.

_I wandered off on my own to watch the setting sun, over a nearby meadow, just wanting to be alone with my thoughts and inner turmoil. Guilt plagued me for not chasing after Kohaku and instead indulging in the earthly pleasures of celebration. I was expecting Inuyasha to be the one to check on me, as that was the norm, but instead was greeted by Miroku's presence. To my surprise, he asked for permission before coming to sit next to me._

_"You're missing out on all the fun," Miroku offered, looking from the sunset to me and flashing me that goofy smile I was beginning to fall for._

_"Meh…" I looked away from him and cast my gaze to the ground, fixating on the grass and dirt at my feet. "It was becoming too much, too quickly."_

_"I see…"_

_We were silent for a while, just watching the sun set. It was nice. I could feel my mood slowly beginning to lift._

_Miroku spoke up finally, "You're not alone, Sango."_

_"I know."_

_"No," he said, "I mean it. I respect your privacy but just know you aren't in this alone. You've got friends who care about you." I've heard it all before and this spiel usually annoyed me a little, but the conviction in his voice was different tonight. "I know I'm not much, but you have me, too…" A small smile formed on his face and the smallest hint of red appeared on his cheeks._

_"Are you blushing, lord monk?" I teased. "You keep your calm with all these village girls… why do you react like this to me? I am nothing special…"_

_"But you are!" He took my hands in his, locking his dark blue hues with my wide-eyed browns. "Sango, you don't even know…"_

_"Then tell me," I demanded quietly, my words oddly forceful. What did this man see in me? A pervert with a heart of gold and a holy man, nonetheless. I was a mere warrior with a chip on her shoulder who fought more demons in my head than those in real life._

_I felt his uncovered hand caressing the side of my face and my own cool dissipate with his touch, replaced by unwelcome butterflies in my stomach and an increased heartbeat. His other hand moved to my thigh and I instinctively grabbed it in defense. He leaned his face toward mine and I found myself closing the gap, too, in a trance of my own. I closed my eyes and was met with the softest kiss._

_He pulled away and I opened my eyes when I felt his warmth leave my immediate being. My face felt like it was on fire and I felt lightheaded. "M-Miroku…" I had never been kissed before. I didn't even know… My limbs were weak, and a positive anxiety coursed through my veins like small sparks of electricity._

_"Say no more," he said, pulling me close. I melted into his embrace. "Sango," he continued, "I've grown rather fond of you…"_

_Me?! But all the other girls we met on our adventures… Why, though…? "Why me?" I asked. My mood was fluctuating between giddy, stupid, romantic high, to confusion, jealousy, self-consciousness. But he had my full attention, and I seemingly had his._

_"You're not skin deep," he stated, "You have a brave and true heart. You have struggled, as I have. Our misfortunes have brought us together and I feel you understand me in a way no other woman would."_

_This was all so sudden! So unexpected… I was flattered, but very hesitant to begin any type of formal courtship with him, for so many reasons. I had to let him down, gently of course… as much as it hurt me to do so._

_"Miroku…" I started, fighting the urge not to cry, overwhelmed by a mixture of emotions._

_"Yes, my dear?"_

_I took a deep breath. "I'm flattered, truly…" I let go of him. "But I just can't. Not right now… I cannot commit to anything or anyone fully until Naraku is defeated and at the very least, my brother is free. I'm too much of a flight risk, still. I'm sorry, Miroku… please forgive me…" I started to cry. I hated crying in front of people, especially him._

_I felt his strong arms around me once more, as he pulled me into his lap and held me. "Hey," he said, "It's ok. We both have unfinished business. I understand that and I can respect you for it."_

_I came up for air and gazed into his deep blue eyes, tears stinging my cheeks._

_"I'll wait for you, Sango," said the monk, as he gently wiped away my tears with his thumb._

_"I can't ask you to do that, in good conscience," I said. I sniffled and cleared my throat before continuing. "Can we just… be… and see what happens?"_

_"I don't see why not."_

_We watched the night envelope the sun's last rays and spent the next few hours blissfully counting the stars and discovering the constellations._

I _still_ had unfinished business. Clearly. My mind drifted back into the more-recent past, the image of Naraku carrying Kohaku's unconscious form away last night, after the saimyosho swarm and Kagura's tornado. I had to free my brother. Guilt plagued my being; I silently asked for forgiveness from my ancestors for my recent attempt on my life. No sense in feeling sorry for myself, not yet anyway.

I didn't realize I became so lost in the nostalgia of the past. I was violently forced back to the present by the feeling of a foot nudging my side. I opened my eyes and saw Naraku standing above me. On impulse, I shot up and assumed a fighting stance.

Naraku chuckled and flashed an evil smirk at me. I glared back, holding my fists in front of me, teeth bared, like I, myself, were a demon. Sometimes I felt like I held the cumulative hostility of a thousand demons, as if I had somehow absorbed the discontented, wasted energy of all that I have slain. Anger and aggression fueled my renewed purpose and reminder for my current existence. No, I was not falling today. I was still breathing. I was still standing. I was still fighting.

"Naraku!" I called out. "Come at me!" He raised an eyebrow at me, his expression unchanging. "Come fight me, like you so cowardly refused to a couple nights ago!"

He stood there, unwavering. Impatience overcame me and I charged at him, jumping up to deliver a high kick to his jaw. I hit my target and landed gracefully behind him in a crouching position. Naraku cracked his neck and wiped the single droplet of blood from his mouth. He waved his hand in my direction, sending a ball of dark energy my way. I dodged the initial burst and he kept firing.

I was overeager and my footing grew sloppy as a result. I slipped more than once, dodging his attacks, finally succumbing to them from one final blast that blew a hole in the ground; the force of it sent me into the air. I landed on my feet but felt my ankle pop as I did so. I looked to Naraku; he stood in that same spot, looking completely unamused, as if our match was nothing to him.

This infuriated me further and I ran at him with blind rage. He just _stood_ there! _Why?_ I was within two or three paces of him and I felt my energy being drained. _What…?_ I made it to my target and swung at him with everything I had.

Naraku grabbed my forearm in such a quick motion. I was completely caught off guard. I felt a small portion of energy returning to my body. He pulled me close until our bodies collided.

"Don't defy me," Naraku stated simply. "I will come to you of my own accord, Sango." His words sent shivers down my spine and I felt lightheaded, confused by how quickly my hostility abated, to be replaced by the smallest inkling of terror.

Instinct kicked in and I made a vain attempt to run, but his grip on my arm tightened.

"Your attacks are useless," he said coldly.

"I'll fight you until the end, Naraku!" I cried, facing him once more; torn between fight and flight.

"Your scent says otherwise, dear," said Naraku. He released me. "Go. Run. Hide away until I have need for you."

My fight came back strong and I charged at him, fist raised. I knew all too well that I would likely lose this battle; he was too powerful for now. But I can't say I didn't try.

In one swift feat, Naraku stepped out of the way just as I was about to close in on him; he grabbed my arm in passing and the next thing I knew, I was soaring through the air, above the koi pond. I clapped my hand over my mouth to stifle a scream, astonished at his sheer strength and this overall surprise attack.

The water stung my limbs as I plunged through the surface. I had managed a deep intake of oxygen before going under. My energy waned once more as the echoing sounds of being underwater filled my ears, creating physical pressure in my head, in addition to the mental stress already present. I could swim, but something told me not to. Something from deep inside me, this cold, dark feeling. The feeling that kept me up at night ever since the night I lost everything and wound up tangled in Naraku's web of lies and treachery; and fell victim to the curse of the sacred jewel.

I opened my eyes and watched the occasional fish swim past me. I could see my hair drifting wildly around me, and I felt my clothing both floating and clinging to me. I looked up at the surface and saw light; I wasn't sure how much longer I could hold my breath—if I even cared to.

I allowed the depths to claim me as I sank in literal despair.

* * *

_[Kagura's point of view.]_

I sat quietly on the rooftop, deep in contemplation, bordering on attempted meditation. I spent my morning doing most of the cleaning and restoration of Naraku's "throne room". Kohaku and Rouge were ordered to clean as well, and while the boy was actually of some help, Rouge spent the majority of her time complaining about the work and bitching about the bee stings. More than once I sent some wind her way, until she left out of frustration. That was fine with me. Kohaku and I got more accomplished without her than we did with her. The boy said almost nothing the whole time, aside from his innocent small talk of asking me how my day was going, apologizing for last night, asking how Sango was and why she wasn't joining us. I gave him shortened answers and we worked in silence for the most part.

We parted ways once the deed was done—Kohaku returned to his quarters without another word and I took refuge on the rooftop, preferring to be far above and away from anymore nonsense the day may throw at me. Another reason I chose this particular rooftop was to keep an eye on Sango. I did not know why, but I felt like I had to watch over her, especially now. She was currently laying in the grass next to the koi pond, seemingly enjoying herself, from what I could tell.

All was peaceful until Naraku showed up. I watched him watch her for a few moments, before announcing his presence via a nudge with his foot. Sango quickly rose to her feet and posed defiantly. I could barely hear their exchange of words and I watched as she uselessly fought him. He used dark magic against her, and she dodged every blast. I could tell she had overestimated her own strength and recovery; her reactions were fast, but her execution was still not as pristine as it once was. I witnessed Naraku catch her by the arm twice. I will give her credit: she did not falter or stand down once.

And then Naraku threw her over his shoulder and let go with the perfect timing to send her flying into the pond behind him. He returned inside the castle so nonchalantly, as if there was no scuffle at all. I rose from my perch on the rooftop and peered over the edge, ready to take action and come down if needed.

When she didn't surface after little more than a minute, I hopped down from the rooftop and rushed over to the pond. I got on my hands and knees and peered into the water. The water was clear enough that I could see her, just sinking, making no attempt to swim back up.

_Come on… Why?!_

Panic and frustration brewed inside me and I shook my head. I shed the outermost layer of my kimonos and dove into the pond, with no hesitation. I easily discovered Sango, at the bottom. Luckily, it was not too deep. I quickly grabbed hold of her with one arm and swam to the surface as fast as I could. Upon resurfacing, I did my best to swim to shore with one arm, Sango tucked under my other. I threw her out of the water and climbed out after, hovering over her on my hands and knees.

I put my fingers to her neck and checked for a pulse. It was there, but weak. I growled in frustration and lightly smacked the side of her face. She showed no signs of waking.

_Idiot!_

I could not help but feel a small amount of resentment toward her. She was better than this. So why? I delivered another light tap to her face. Nothing.

"Sango, what the fuck? _Why_?" I shook her shoulders; she made a small movement. I then pushed on her chest a few times. She sputtered and coughed as she woke up. The slayer slowly rolled over on her side, still spitting out water. I sat beside her, idly watching her slow reanimation. Sango pushed herself up on her hands and knees and expelled the last of the water from her lungs, before throwing up a little.

I left her alone for a moment; partially to allow her to regain some composure of her own and partially so I could decide what the _hell_ I was going to do or say to her. Sango slowly turned her head to face me. Breathing heavily, she sat back on her knees and folded her arms across her chest. Her face was pale, and she harbored mixed emotions in her deep brown eyes.

A strange combination of feelings arose in me, as well. I could not explain why I so boldly literally jumped into action to save her. Just as I did not comprehend the reasons why I felt like I needed to watch over her. She could handle herself.

_Could._

Well, she still could… for the most part… _No… She needs some help now. She's been through a lot, as formidable as she is…_

Even in this damaged, ravaged state, I admired Sango. I had always envied her freedom and her blind determination in battle. She fought with the bloodlust and ferocity of an entire army. I had never known friendship… was this what that was? I felt a desire to protect her, for no reason, really. At least that which I could comprehend. I was growing attached to this girl. This realization both scared me and fascinated me. Just for a moment, I could imagine I just might have a friend.

But would she accept me as hers?

We were enemies from the start. I was born of Naraku, her nemesis and the sole reason for the entirety of her suffering. She was a demon slayer and I was a demon.

_Inuyasha is a half-demon. Shippo is a demon, albeit a young one. Her faithful feline companion, Kirara, is a demon…_

We stared at one another for a while, both frozen by confusion and somewhat stunned from what had just happened. I could not help myself but to watch her closely, taking further note of her features. Sango was very pretty, especially for a mortal woman and one so young at that. I felt the dull ache of sadness as I stared into her eyes. She put on a brave face, likely always has; but inside, she was so scared. There was no denying it, with the horrors she had been through, especially most recently.

I spoke up first, deciding if I did not break the silence now, I would get lost in her presence. "Sango, are you alright?" I stood up and held out my hand to her.

She nodded wordlessly and ran a hand through her wet hair, pushing her bangs out of her face. "I—" she coughed once more and cleared her throat, "I think so." Sango reached for my hand, I helped her to her feet.

 _Good._ I felt a tiny ball of anger ignite within me. _What was she thinking?! What WASN'T she thinking?!_

I slapped her across the face.

My small excuse for rage subsided immediately, replaced by an ice-cold sensation of guilt. Sango just stood there in front of me, a blank look on her face. She barely turned her head when I hit her. _What have I done…? And she just TOOK it…_

I didn't know what to say or do. I wanted to run away, but I also wanted to apologize. "I'm sorry!" I stammered, reaching for my feather in my hair; I _needed_ to leave. Right now.

I turned and motioned to launch the feather into the air but was stopped by a hand on my shoulder. I turned to face Sango.

"Don't apologize to me, Kagura," she said quietly. Her voice was raspy from coughing earlier.

I faced her completely. "Sango, I _hit_ you. That was wrong of me. You did nothing to deserve such treatment from me—"

"No," she insisted, "you're wrong. I did. I should treat myself better…"

She avoided eye contact with me and instead rested her pretty eyes on something behind me. _'Still pretty…'_

_What was with me?_

She laughed weakly before continuing, "you treat me better than I have been treating myself, lately. And you're supposed to be my enemy…"

I was at a loss for words. I had nothing for this.

We made eye contact once more and I froze. "You are an enemy of Naraku. He is also _my_ enemy. We cannot do much against him alone. But we cannot join forces if one of us is dead…" I lied through my teeth. Mostly…

"Kagura," said Sango, "It's ok to let people in."

I felt personally attacked, unprepared for such a conversation. She was not wrong; however, I _did_ desire connection and even friendship. Those two things were behind freedom, of course…

"You prefer to be alone," Sango continued. It was my turn to avert my eyes; she could see right through me.

My defenses immediately came up. "What good have others ever done me?" _Lie. Lie, lie, lie…_

"Do you not remember the other day, Kagura?" asked Sango. "Naraku had your heart… I was _certain_ he would have killed you if I didn't do something!"

"Why did you?" I asked. "Why did _you_ help _me_?"

"Because it was the right thing to do," she stated simply. I looked to her out of the corner of my eye. A fire burned within her brown irises. She spoke with such truth and conviction. "You have had no reason whatsoever to help me, yet you have provided care to me every single night since I arrived at this hellhole. Helping me could very easily end in your punishment or worse, your death."

Once again, she was not wrong.

"I do not know if you have ever had a real friend, but I think I will be as brave as to call you mine," Sango continued. I felt a strange warmth begin to spread inside of me, melting away the ice-cold barrier I put up around myself. My walls would remain for a while, but I welcomed the ice melting. "I know what it is like to be alone, Kagura." The fire faded a bit from her eyes, a grief-stricken sadness softening the glow. "I used to _prefer_ to be alone. And I still do, sometimes. It's easier to keep people out, but sometimes, it is just too much…" I could see tears forming in her eyes and my warmth faded a little.

"Kagura," Sango strained her voice, trying so hard to keep up the brave act and speak with unwavering courage, "I hope I am wrong—I _really_ hope I am wrong—and forgive me if I am being too bold in my assumption," her gaze met mine once more and I felt like I was falling into oblivion, "I have tasted hell, and I believe you have, too. We have seen and experienced things that most have not and should not, ever…"

Sango boldly took a step toward me and put her hands on my shoulders. She was shaking now, possibly from the cold, more likely from the intensity of her gravest words, "I am not the only one to have suffered like that at Naraku's hands, am I?"

I could not answer her. If I had my own heart, I know it would feel like falling out of my chest right now. I just blinked and stared into her beautiful, brown eyes, longing to possess such integrity, such… _courage_ … and _justice_ … I did not even feel the single tear that fell down my cheek.

"That's what I thought," Sango brought her hand to my cheek and wiped away the droplet. I stiffened at her gesture, having known so little empathy and sympathy in my life.

Sango stared at me, a determined look on her paled face. A hidden somberness lay low in her eyes, anger stalking behind her stoic expression. She looked down at her hands and turned away, beginning to walk away, toward the entrance to the castle. The taijiya stopped at the bottom of the steps, unwrapping the bandages on her broken hand. She returned her gaze to me.

"I'm alone, too, Kagura. I feel like I always have been." Sango removed the last of the wrap from her hand and outstretched her fingers, cracking her knuckles. After briefly examining the healing, she looked at me once more. "I guess we can just be alone together." A shy smile graced her features as she stood there, shivering from the cold.

I said nothing and bent over to retrieve my outer kimono, having been shed before my random act of heroism. I shook the grass off the fabric and quickly walked to the castle entrance, to catch up with Sango. I felt the strangest thing, as I stood beside her and looked into her eyes. I almost wanted to give her my dry kimono. She looked very cold up close, still soaked from being dunked into the pond what felt like hours ago.

"Here," I handed her the garment. Her eyes widened in surprise. "You'll get sick, I won't." My demon blood would keep me much warmer. In fact, I felt quite warm now, despite my own wet clothing and hair. Not taking her eyes off me, she hesitantly took the kimono and slipped her arms through the sleeves, not even bothering to tie it and instead just crossing her arms over her chest and holding it shut.

"Thank you," she said, quietly.

We walked inside, an odd but comfortable silence between us. Luckily, we passed no on one our way back to our rooms. We paused once we reached our destinations. An awkward tension formed between us for a moment. I did not wish to leave her yet, still not wanting her out of my sight. I had reason to believe that she would not make another attempt on her life, at least so soon; but I also did not want Naraku to come near her again, at least not tonight. Even though Naraku would easily overpower me if I were to interfere…

"Can… can I stay with you tonight?" asked Sango. She gazed fearfully down the hall in both directions then rested her eyes on me.

I was struck dumb by her question. "Of course," I answered. She had stayed with me most nights, anyway, although she was normally unconscious and severely injured to some degree… We entered my room and I headed straight for the dresser, in search of dry clothing for both of us. She was roughly the same size as me, if anything, just barely shorter by centimeters and a little thinner.

"Is it alright if I take a bath?" she asked. "I'm freezing, and I feel disgusting."

"Yes, of course," came my answer as I rummaged through my small wardrobe. "I'll bring you some dry clothes shortly."

I heard the door to the adjoining washroom close behind her and took the time to change into some dry clothes myself. I opted for comfort instead of my usual, more elegant dress, and chose a plain white kimono, made of silk. I chose a similar garment for her; it was light blue and had a shorter hem and sleeves than mine.

Exhaustion swept over me. I usually did not get so tired so quickly. I also usually did not emote very strongly, if at all, aside from the ever-present innate rage that was so heavily woven into my very core. I laid back on my bed and closed my eyes, replaying the day's events in my mind. I still didn't know what all compelled me to come to Sango's rescue earlier. Her presence made me feel weird. In a good way. Like maybe I was actually capable of forming alliances and even friendships. Her valiance, I suspected, was also beginning to rub off on me. My previous short discussions with her always left me feeling inspired, her fire and convictions bringing out my desire for victory. Now, following our most recent discussion, something else was there, the smallest sliver of hope that maybe there could be more to my life than vengeance and destruction.

A short slumber took over my being and I was unsure how long I was out for. I just know I woke up slightly panicked, noticing Sango had still not joined me in the main bedroom. Just as I reached the bathroom door, it slid open. Sango stood there with a towel wrapped around her body. I stepped back, feeling an odd combination of guilt and embarrassment.

"Sorry!" I apologized, turning around, and heading back to my bed, where I sat down and looked out the window. "I fell asleep and I lost track of time and I was just coming to check on you." My words came out more hurried than I had planned.

"It's ok," said Sango.

"Your clothes are on the dresser," I offered, focusing on the tree line and stars outside.

"Kagura," I turned to her on impulse as she said my name, "Thank you. For everything. You've shown me such kindness and hospitality…"

"It's nothing, really," I replied. "Like you said earlier, it is the right thing to do."

A reticent smile appeared on her face, then she stepped toward the dresser. I quickly averted my gaze and turned my head back to the window, wishing to give her some privacy. Although I had seen her naked plenty of times by now, having treated and bandaged many of her injuries, I felt a twinge of anxiety at the idea of witnessing her exposure in such a different context. I wordlessly counted the stars outside and traced the treetops with my eyes until I felt a pressure on the bed beside me. I turned and was met with the sight of Sango sitting close to me.

Sango looked so young in this moment, so unlike herself in all the other instances I had seen her before. The usual anger in her eyes was gone, replaced by something else that I could not quite read. Her cheekbones and jaw were more pronounced than I remembered, heightening my suspicion that she had lost weight since arriving here. Her arms and legs were still visibly toned, though; but I could tell from the way her kimono clung loosely to her body that my skepticism was confirmed, and she had indeed lost weight. Although, she did not exactly look unhealthy.

"Are you eating?" I asked her.

She was clearly taken aback by my simple question. She looked away from me and nervously rubbed her arm. "Eh… probably not as much as I should…"

I frowned at her, an equal display of anger and playfulness. "You'll have to change that or else you'll be just bones soon enough."

"I'm good on that," said Sango, as she scooted closer to me and sat with her back against the wall. She gazed longingly out the window, the smallest instance of a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

There was serenity in her presence, and I felt relaxed. I took and retained mental note of her features, for what felt like the first time. And it was, seeing her in a new light, the pinnacle image of a companion, my first real friend. Sango's current pose and appearance reminded me so much of her brother, right down to the almost childlike innocence of our most recent exchange. They were both quiet; Sango was just an older, angrier, more jaded, female version of Kohaku. I smiled at that the thought.

"What?" she asked, looking to me and tilting her head to the side. Kohaku did that, too.

I was caught red-handed. At doing what, I did not know. I just felt a twinge of unwarranted guilt. "Just thinking about the small things, I suppose." It was not entirely a lie.

"Enjoy the little things…" the slayer mused aloud. She directed her attention back out the window, watching the outdoors so intently yet so peacefully.

In the lighting, I could make out the faintest remnants of bruises on her face. Purple and yellow; and strangely beautiful. The sight pained me. _How could someone be so cruel?_ I guess she could feel my gaze upon her; she turned around, but smiled at me, a hint of a blush dusting her cheeks. _And yet she can still smile._ That was a real smile, too. Undeniably, unapologetically real. _She was still pretty, even after all this._

"What are you thinking about, Kagura?" Sango asked.

I shook my head. "Nothing of great importance…"

Sango was quiet for a moment. "Fair enough," she said finally. "I do want to tell you, though, I am very thankful you're here." She cast her gaze downward and begun to nervously wring her hands together. "I can handle a lot.. I really can… I just—It frustrates me to no end… I am afraid I can say no more. I'm not ready to go there, yet… Just… thank you. I don't want to be alone here."

It took everything in her to admit that, I know it did. Independence and a warrior's spirit that strong almost forbid her to accept any kind of assistance. I knew she heard her own words as an admission of weakness, but I heard only strength backed by gratitude in her confession.

"You're welcome, Sango." I flashed her a half smile. I was a little startled when she wrapped her arms around me in a light embrace. Her hold was brief, but oddly comforting to me.

We spent the night talking, as friends. Hours slipped past us and I did not even realize the passage of time until I woke up next to her the following morning.


	11. Chapter Ten: Forget To Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: "Forget To Remember" by Mudvayne]

_[Kohaku's point of view.]_

Today was the day. I was going to travel to the Northern Coast with Naraku, Rouge, and Kanna, in search of more sacred jewel shards. I do not think I have ever been on such a grand adventure before and this opportunity was very exciting! I was unsure of my company, however. To my knowledge, Naraku was almost an employer of sorts to me. I have no idea to this day how I ended up in his service, nor will anyone tell me. I almost want to give up on my past, but at the same time… No. I can't do that. Maybe I'll learn something about myself during this trip?

Kanna. Kanna was quiet. I was able to carry very superficial conversations with her and she was always pleasant to me, but she really did creep me out. Kagura was nice enough to me and more talkative, but she always seemed to be angry. I tried to just stay out of her way for the most part. Same with Rouge, the newest member of our small collective. She was hotheaded and hostile. It just seemed smartest to keep my distance. Naraku only really interacted with me when he had a task for me, and most of the time, I never remembered what I even did during the task in question. I could not read him, and it bothered me. Especially the way he has interacted with Sango. I knew they were enemies… but why?

_Sango._

She says she is my sister. I have ample reason to believe her; she told me all these stories the other day, stories that appear to line up so nicely with dreams I have had. It's as if she may have all the answers for me, or at least the majority of them. Everything she tells me… it just feels right. And she seems so brave… I want to be brave like that. Sometimes I think I can be, like a few days ago when we got attacked by the saimyosho.

I frowned at the memory. _Stupid Rouge… Naraku threw the saimyosho nest, not me…_ I sighed. I wasn't looking forward to traveling with her at all. I don't think Naraku would let her harm me, but I was not entirely certain. Sometimes, Rouge seemed like she didn't remember things, too. Just like me.

We were all currently gathered in the castle courtyard. It was sunny outside; reminded me of the day I spent with Kagura and Sango. I was proudly wearing my armor, pieces of it crafted from purified demon bones. My kusarigama holstered securely at my side. I was ready and desperately hoping I may find some answers while I was away.

Kanna stood on one side of me, void and silent as always. Rouge, opposite of her; the fire demon was clad in white robes with gold and purple trim; impressive golden gauntlets adorned her shins and forearms, and a gold shield was secured protectively over her right shoulder. Her armor loosely matched her sword. I wondered if she was some kind of demon royalty. Her presence irradiated confidence but there was still something amiss.

Naraku stood in the middle of our small circle, with Kagura and Sango behind him. Kagura looked entirely bored, annoyed as ever. Sango kept glancing from Naraku to me, and whenever I caught her, she would quickly pretend to watch the sky or the forest instead.

"Today we journey to the Northern Coast," proclaimed Naraku, "Kanna, Kohaku, Rouge, you three will be joining me. Kagura, you will stay here with Sango. I would say you are to guard the castle, but my barrier will do a far better job than you. Speaking of, don't try anything; you'll never make it out." Naraku shot a menacing glare over his shoulder at Kagura.

Kagura was always trying to escape. I didn't understand why Naraku wouldn't just let her go; her escape attempts always just seemed to create more problems. Maybe I was still too young to understand it. Everything just seemed too overtly complicated and I chose to stay out of it, hoping I would not grow up to deal with such ridiculousness myself. If I grew up… I couldn't even remember being a baby or a little kid… Sometimes I wondered if I was even human. _If I was even real._

"Don't worry, Naraku," said Kagura, "I won't throw any crazy parties while you are away." She smirked at him. He was unamused.

"Duly noted, Kagura," Naraku spat back at her. He turned back to Kanna, Rouge, and I. "We must be off. I expect us to reach our destination in three days. If all goes according to plan, our journey should take a total of seven days altogether."

That was a long time. Just how far were we going? That seems like a lot for just a few jewel shards…

"Cool," said Rouge, "I could use a vacation."

Naraku stepped past us and began walking to the edge of the courtyard, leading off the castle grounds. Kanna followed him first, then I.

"Wait, we're _walking_?" asked Rouge.

The three of us stopped and turned to look at her.

"What, do you expect a fucking chariot?" piped up Kagura.

Instantaneously following Kagura's remark, Rouge unsheathed her sword and slammed it to the ground, sending a thin line of purple flames in the wind demon's direction. Kagura and Sango both managed to jump out of the way just in time. Kagura sat in a crouching position, holding her fan in front of her face. She locked eyes with Rouge for a few minutes before sending a 'dance of blades' her way. Rouge dodged the attack and raised her sword once more.

"FIRESTART-!"

Before she could get the entire word out, Naraku suddenly materialized in front of her and grabbed her by her arms, pinning them to her sides. She dropped her sword. "What the hell?!" Shock was painted all over Rouge's face.

"Control your temper, Rouge," Naraku said coolly, "Save your energy for a worthy opponent. Your attacks should not be wasted on Kagura and her provocations." He let go of the fire demon, who then crouched down to carefully retrieve her weapon.

"Kanna! Kohaku!" I snapped to attention. "Come." Naraku waved me over. I quickly joined him at his side.

"Kohaku…" I looked back at Sango. This was the first time I heard her speak all morning. She had such emotion in her eyes and I almost felt guilty leaving her. "Please be safe…"

"I will," I reassured her.

With that said, I felt Naraku's rough claw on my shoulder and was overwhelmed by darkness and the thick, suffocating fragrance of miasma.

* * *

_[Rouge's point of view.]_

"Naraku, where the fuck are we?" I was impatient. I could deal with a little walking, but _this_ was ridiculous. I thought for sure he was going to somehow teleport us all there or something! It sure seemed like it when we left his abode in a cloud of miasma.

No, it was barely more than a weak portal. I think I could try to like Naraku so far, considering he was supposedly helping me and all that, but he talked like he was some supreme powerful entity. He was only able to take the four of us about half a day's travel away! My best guess is _maybe_ we had made it thirty kilometers north already. Now we were in the middle of some random forest. I could barely pick up the scent of anything except for our own collective stench and the occasional wild animal.

"Rouge, be patient," warned Naraku. "Good things come to those who wait. This will be a long journey; you knew that from the start."

I groaned; he was correct. "So, where's north from here?"

Naraku just began walking, right past me, without saying a word, Kanna and Kohaku in tow. We walked for a few hours before I could pick up any new scents. Eventually, the smell of humans, fire, and food began to fill my senses and pique my interest. The smell grew stronger as we continued our travel. Eventually, we veered northwest and reached the edge of the forest, where a small village seemed to be located, in the middle of a celebration.

"We're just going to go in?" I turned to Naraku.

"I thought I sensed a jewel shard here…" was all he said, scanning the area. "Kanna…" He looked to the demon child. She stepped forward and an image formed in her mirror. A man appeared, dressed in the height of human fashion, and very happily drunk. My guess would be that this fine specimen is the headman of the village.

"That's just some human drunkard," I commented. What was the point of this little side quest? I had no interest in humans and little interest in the Shikon jewel. Aiding Naraku in his quest was my only motivation, and even then, I had an ulterior motive of my own that he was helping me achieve.

"Look closer, Rouge… don't you see anything that's different? Something missing?"

The mirror brought us a closer look at the man. His eyes were off… and more than once I thought I saw a strange mist surround him. None of the other humans in the image seemed to notice.

"Possession?" I asked.

"No doubt," answered Naraku.

"So, what do we do?" I felt stupid asking all these questions. My interaction with humans was limited to Sango and Kohaku. They were… not what I would expect. The boy was clearly warped in a way I could not fully comprehend and the elder sister was a force to be reckoned with, for a human.

"Well," started Naraku, "we must plan loosely and expect the unexpected. Just the one man is possessed for sure, but we do not know what type of demon we are dealing with here, or their power level, which has likely increased greatly if they do indeed have possession of a jewel shard…"

"Well, we can't just go attack him! What about the others?"

"There is a chance that the whole village is infected. Sometimes possessions can spread, like a virus. The possibilities are endless." Naraku explained. He sounded so knowledgeable. Maybe he really was a good demon who hunted the bad…

"Do you think we can save any of them?" I asked. I did not care for humans one way or the other, but I did not see the point in slaughtering them senselessly, unless truly warranted.

"Maybe… too soon to tell, Rouge…" He turned to Kohaku. "Kohaku, you're a demon slayer…" The boy perked up. "Go slay the demon."

Just like that?

"Yes, sir!" Something changed in Kohaku, ever so slightly. I couldn't quite put my finger on it… I watched the boy with careful interest as he merely strode into the village, kusarigama in hand.

"You're just going to send this kid in there?" This was weird.

Naraku smiled. "He can handle himself."

We watched from the safety of the tree line. Nothing seemed to happen for the longest time. Until finally, I heard silence, followed by startled gasps and mixed screams, including a prominent vocalization of "He's a demon?!" Then I smelled blood.

_A lot of blood…_

_Wait…_

Naraku's eyes widened. He sprang into action and darted out of the tree line. I grabbed my sword and motioned to follow him.

"No! Rouge, stay here with Kanna, something is wrong!"

I stood there at the tree line and scratched my head in confusion. What is going on? I watched Naraku disappear into the now-smoking village. I heard a twig snap behind me and spun around in defense. Kanna stood there. That child was just downright creepy, even for a demon.

"Rouge, let Naraku handle it. For now," Kanna said in her monotonous yet high-pitched voice.

"Huh?" We made eye contact. I only saw the void. But she is still a child. I think. "No.. well, maybe… But I feel like I should be protecting you…"

I felt a pulse from deep within me. A powerful force calling me. But what? What was this? I was suddenly drawn to the village, despite Naraku's warning. I could not help myself; I began walking toward the structures and the smoke. I started to feel like I was sleepwalking.

I walked through the rubble and past numerous corpses, without a second glance. I walked until I saw Naraku, standing beside Kohaku. Both of them were covered in blood, Kohaku moreso. I suddenly and strangely felt reconnected with my body, and the smell of blood, smoke, and death overwhelmed my nostrils. I put my hand over my nose in a futile attempt to block the foul stench.

"What happened?" I demanded to know. This was a lot…

"See for yourself…" Naraku's chilled words captured my attention. He stepped out of the way and I approached.

Laying on the ground was the battered, bloodied corpse of a lizard demon, still dressed in the headman's robes. _I'll be damned—he WAS a demon after all!_

Naraku reached down into the demon's chest cavity, digging around for something. The sound was sickening. After a moment of searching, he pulled his fist back out, dripping crimson. His fingers relaxed and unveiled a bloody jewel shard.

"Ok…" Alright, so there _was_ a jewel shard. And a real demon. "We got what we came here for." I surveyed the wreckage surrounding us. "Why all the dead villagers? Were there a lot of casualties?"

An evil laugh came from Naraku. He slowly turned to look at me and I felt that strange pulse from within me, summoning me somehow… but where? I felt so tired all of a sudden. My limbs were so heavy… Maybe there was something in some of this smoke…

I collapsed on the ground, losing my consciousness right next to the lizard demon corpse.

The earth was warm and hard beneath me. The rank stench of corpses combined with smolder raided my sense of smell. I slowly sat up, bringing my hand to my aching head. My vision was blurry, but I could tell I was in the middle of a fire.

_Not just a fire… a burning village._

_But why?_

I couldn't remember what I was doing… I felt something wet and sticky above my lip and wiped it off with the back of my hand. _Blood._ I stood up and looked around. Everything was becoming clearer, save for the mask of smoke polluting the area.

_"Kill them…"_

_Kill who?_

_"You know… you'll know it when you see it…"_

I unsheathed my sword and began exploring the ruins. There were a lot of corpses… all dead humans… except for the lone corpse of what appeared to be a lizard demon that was too close to me when I woke up.

_Am I awake?_

I meandered aimlessly through this burning village, checking each building and home for what, I did not know.

Until the last one, a large stone building at the edge of the village. I could smell life in there. But was it friend or foe?

I approached the door and knocked once. I could hear whispers of panic inside.

_"Let go, Rouge…"_

_Why did I feel so angry out of nowhere?_

I literally went from nothingness to roiling, vitriolic hate within seconds. Why was I so angry? Where was I? What was happening?

_"This world owes you, Rouge. The powers that be failed you over and over again… You have no family left. The world is yours for the taking; starting with the filth that's hiding inside here."_

_Who are they? What are they?_

I kicked the door open, the movement not even really my own. I didn't feel real…

_Bandits, Rouge… they have stolen… and you will steal back…_

I was pulled back to earth by that wild rage. Rage that burst from within, with the heat of a thousand embers and the flames of my ancestors.

The sight before me truly disgusted me.

This place was surely a tavern or bar of some sort, pre-fire. Four men of varying ages crouched just in front of the counter, a woman not too far from them. She looked to be around my age, human, and in bad shape. Innocent bystander, concubine, I was unsure.

She looked to me, terror on her face. "Please, help…"

I slowly turned to her and said nothing. I could say nothing.

"Demon!" shouted one of the men.

That pissed me off to no end. That simple word, shouted like a disgusting accusation. As if this lowly creature was one to talk.

The woman with them hastily got to her feet and ran past me, out the door. As she passed, I caught a whiff of the other four in the room on her. That angered me even further. I gripped the hilt of my sword.

"Demon or no, this is just some girl," said a different man.

I chuckled and stepped toward them, pure malice growing in my heart. _"Just some girl?"_

The men laughed. Three of them were bigger than me. One was about twice my size.

"I don't know, man…" said the smallest one. "She _is_ a demon, clearly…"

 _"Clearly…"_ I repeated, slowly raising my sword. The blade glowed a dangerous purple. The men backed up.

"What do you want with us?" the big man asked. "Are you the demon that destroyed the village?"

I glanced around the room, remembering the voice in my head. That's _all_ I could remember… A silver blade caught my eye, ornamentally hung on the wall in the middle of the bar behind the counter. I could also see a rather large and eloquent-looking bottle of sake.

"The blade," I finally half-answered the man. "The blade and the sake in the pink bottle. I will be taking those."

"Better give her what she wants! That sword is scary!" The smallest of the group naturally cowered behind the other three.

"No, you know what? Fuck that! Demon or no, she's just a woman!" The largest man took a threatening step toward me.

And I sliced his head off his neck in one fell swoop.

The other three stood in front of me, horror plastered upon their faces.

"I want the blade and the sake. And I want the three of you to get out of my sight. You disgust me."

They continued to stand in front of me, frozen. I could not tell if it was fear or defiance; either way, it was only increasing my anger. They began to slowly inch toward the door as a gross little conglomeration of gluttony. I felt like I was falling asleep again, limbs growing heavy…

They were still too slow. I threw my sword at one man, piercing him through the stomach and pinning him to the wall. The other two were tripping over one another trying to run out the front door. They managed to escape, and I took chase, my blood boiling. I don't know why I was taking my time to hunt petty bandits like this, let alone grace them with any of my attention…

I tackled the runt of the group first, easily dispatching him with my claws. My last target did not fall so easily, though. I chased him through the ashes and rubble and back all the way to the tavern. Upon our arrival, the bandit and I were both shocked to see a young boy inside the tavern, seemingly waiting for us.

I knew him from somewhere, but from where, I did not know…

"Kohaku!" I called out. I knew him by name, apparently. "Welly, welly, welly, welly, well! To what do I owe this extreme pleasure of such a surprising visit?" I held out my arms to him in a gesture of grandiosity and camaraderie. This boy, 'Kohaku', slowly turned his head. His eyes were dead, and his energy was off.

My bandit prey looked helplessly from Kohaku to me. We were at a standstill for intense minutes until the unfortunate bastard decided to take his chances passing me.

He didn't even make it back to the door. Kohaku had hit him with a kusarigama blade and pulled him back. Blood splattered on the boy's black and blue armor.

"We're done here, Rouge," he said in a voice as void as his eyes. He stalked past me, dragging the chain of his weapon behind him. I noticed that close to where he had been waiting presumably for either me and/or our bandit friend, lay the corpse of the woman from before.

I hopped over the counter, grabbed my new blade and bottle of liquor, and left the scene.

I sat under a tree in the middle of a clearing, Kohaku to my left, Kanna to my right. I could smell Naraku but not see him in my immediate vicinity. The ashes of a fire sat before us, in the last stages of its life. I could smell blood, human blood. I closely examined my comrades and then myself, finding no such blood as evidence on any of us.

I think dreamt of violence.

But I couldn't remember…

_How did I get here?_

It was dark already. The last thing I remembered was the day approaching dusk and walking to the edge of a forest with Naraku and the others. A village with a jewel shard…

"Hey!" I spoke up, a slow spark of panic biting at the back of my mind. Kohaku looked to me almost immediately, his brown eyes wide with attention. Kanna simply turned her head, expressionless.

"Am I losing my mind or were we _really_ just at a village? Was there really a demon with a jewel shard?"

As if on cue, Naraku landed gracefully in front of us, having been perched in a tree branch above us, on watch duty.

"There was indeed a demon _and_ a jewel shard, Rouge. You're not going crazy." His answer did not ease my curiosity as much as I had hoped.

"Were there villagers?" I asked. "If so, what of them?"

An uneasy silence hung in the air for a moment, until Naraku finally spoke up. "They could not be saved. The demon killed many of them as collateral damage. The rest either perished in the fires or had to be taken down, as they were possessed and too far gone."

This bothered me for some reason. I was quick to shake it off, though.

"That is unfortunate… but did we win? Did we at least get the jewel shard?"

Naraku reached into his pocket and retrieved the shard. He held it up and I could see the moonlight shining through it, in a bright fuchsia light.

"And you have a new blade, I see. The spoils of war," Naraku motioned to my hip, where I soon noticed a beautiful silver dagger was now sheathed, next to my ancestral sword.

A victory. A small victory.

I suppose.

It did not feel like a true victory, at least to me. It did not seem real to me, at least; perhaps because I could not remember even being a part of the fight? No matter… the journey was just beginning. This would be the first of many missions together.

_Victory._

I didn't like how that word weighed on my conscience.


	12. Chapter Eleven: Beautiful and Strange

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: "Beautiful and Strange" by Mudvayne]

_[Sango's point of view.]_

And just like that, my little brother disappeared once more, with Naraku and his minions. I caught a glimpse of his face before he vanished in a cloud of miasma. He looked confident, brave even. The notion made me smile. He was always such a timid boy, so empathetic to others' feelings and eager to help whenever possible.

"Sango," Kagura's mellow voice broke me out of my thoughts. I turned to face her. "They'll be gone for a week…"

 _A week without Naraku…_ To my surprise, he left me alone more than I expected. However, I could use a week without even the remote possibility of running into my nemesis in some form or another. So, what were we to do in the meantime? The reckless idea of escape crossed my mind. No, he would be expecting that and would have planned accordingly.

"The day is young…"

"Yeah…" I knelt down on the ground and began fidgeting with the grass.

An awkward silence fell between us. What the hell were we doing if we weren't living in some peril?

"What do you do for fun?" I asked, half serious.

Kagura scoffed. "I don't have fun."

I laughed. "Fine, so what is it that you just do?"

"I wreak havoc on you and your friends." The wind witch sat cross-legged on the grass and pulled out her fan. She held it in front of her face, only her eyes visible. "And when I'm not doing that, I can be found flying around on my feather like a bat out of hell and fantasizing about Naraku's downfall, including all the ways I could kill him." She said it all with a straight face and I could not help but crack up at her answer. "What?"

"You have a great poker face," I managed between chuckles.

 _"What?"_ Kagura lowered her fan and raised an eyebrow at me.

"'Poker face'. It's like, a serious face… like, when you're saying something entirely ridiculous but you make yourself look serious to fool others…" I suddenly felt like an idiot, trying to explain something that I only recently learned, courtesy of Kagome and the anomalies of her time.

"Poker?"

"It's a card game… from Kagome's time…"

"Oh…" Kagura blinked, confusion evident in her ruby eyes. "The miko is not from this period? I guess I am not surprised. Her fashion sense is a bit odd, after all."

I laughed again at her words, unsure if she was making a genuine poke at my friend or if she was simply stating a fact. "Yeah… I don't quite understand it myself, but something about the Shikon jewel and her being Kikyo's reincarnation—I guess it allows her to travel through time via the Bone Eater's Well."

"Time traveler…" mused Kagura. "Interesting… has she ever taken any of you back with her?"

"No," I replied, "well, except Inuyasha. He can use the well, too, for some unknown reason." I was curious, but accepted that some questions were better left unanswered.

"The future…" A thoughtful expression graced Kagura's pale face. "I wonder what it holds…"

"No demons, apparently." I laid on my back, crossing my arms behind my head, and gazed at the sky above. It was indeed a beautiful day.

"No demons?" asked Kagura. "How…?"

"I have no clue…" I could feel Kagura's gaze upon me and I turned my head to look at her. She sat beside me with the most interested expression. Kind of reminded me of the way Inuyasha found Kagome's words so entertaining and how sometimes he hung onto everything she said with such wonder.

"What else is different, in Kagome's time?"

"Well…" I had to think for a moment. The time period in which my best friend lived in fascinated me and I was always intrigued by the small things there. "People just… live. I guess… children go to school, for formal education, they have fun and grow up and enter the workforce, get married… all without the constant struggles of war and demons and the like." It all sounded so absurd to me, to be explaining this futuristic fantasy land to Kagura of all people.

"So, it is a time of peace?" asked Kagura.

"Yeah, I think so," I answered.

"Huh… that's so strange."

"I agree."

Silence, again.

"Why does she keep coming back here?"

I was not sure how to answer that. I wasn't sure if Kagura knew exactly how the Shikon jewel had been shattered…

"I mean, I know how the jewel was broken…" And that question was answered. "I get that she feels responsible, but surely her life in her own time is far less dangerous than here."

I knew why and I could not hide the small smirk on my face.

I think the reason clicked with Kagura shortly after, as well; her eyes widened and she spoke with slight astonishment; "Does Kikyo's reincarnation, too, harbor feelings for Inuyasha? I mean, why else would she willingly hang around here…"

"I have reason to believe so." I smiled and continued to watch the clouds overhead.

"What about you, slayer?" asked Kagura.

"What about me?"

"…You and the monk…?" The demoness chose her words with caution.

I laughed nervously, _"Miroku…"_ I could feel the threat of a blush creeping up my neck and resting on my cheeks.

"You fancy him," stated Kagura in a sly voice.

I wasn't sure… kind of? Maybe? It was none of her damn business! New friend or not! _"That lecherous bastard…"_

"Maybe not, then," said Kagura, backing away.

I sighed, surrendering. "I don't even know…" Miroku's beautiful face trespassed on my memories. _That asshole with a heart of gold…_ "I try to keep myself in check. He hits on anything that moves."

"I see…"

"I'm honestly surprised he never pulled that crap on you," I mused aloud. Kagura arched an eyebrow in curiosity.

"Me?"

"He's hit on _plenty_ of demons—unknowingly, of course—, priestesses, witches, human women… he has no filter and no tact!" He confused me, interested me, and infuriated me, all at once. Even when he was not around. This was beginning to feel like one of Kagome's 'girl talks', only Kagura sat and listened patiently and curiously, whereas Kagome by now either would have sided with me in a well-intentioned yet evil roast of Miroku's amorous ways or tried to play pity and calm me before I said too much. I really was shocked he never tried to at least compliment Kagura. She was very pretty… _beautiful,_ even…

The way she sat there, dumbfoundedly blinking her pretty crimson eyes. Her facial expressions never failed to amuse me. Not to mention how, like Miroku, she also spoke with no filter, always saying what was on her mind, even if it earned her pain in some shape or form. A memory of the pattern of sweet words and innocent exchanges followed by a not-so-innocent grope and then the echo of a slap, came to my mind.

That would never be the same.

And how could I explain that to him? How could I explain any of this to any of them? I was not looking forward to that conversation. But then again, it was none of their business—what transpired here could stay here. But I owed them some explanation… they were my friends, after all. _Family_ even, by now. The rose tint of nostalgia gave way to the flames of anger and resentment. At myself.

"You're angry," noted Kagura. She picked up on my demeanor quite well.

I sat up and hugged my knees to my chest. I gritted my teeth and looked up at the sky, as if some sign of absolution would appear and take away all my grief and trauma. Nope. Nothing. "I'm always angry."

"Me too…"

"Guess that's why we're friends." Her words caught my attention. I felt my anger quell. At least I had a friend. A kindred spirit...

We spent the day talking, as friends should. It was strange, discussing random topics with someone other than Kagome. Someone at all, especially Kagura of all people. I would have never guessed that I would be hanging out with her, in her room, discussing boys, of all things. Apparently, she had a thing for Sesshomaru, Inuyasha's older brother. She seemed at odds with it, much like I tried to stifle any feelings whatsoever for Miroku.

And now in the strangest turn of events, I sat drinking with the wind sorceress herself.

"He's a lost cause," Kagura sneered and sipped on her beverage. "I watched him nearly get absorbed by Naraku before the motherfucker just vanished. He was just going to let it happen! If Inuyasha hadn't shown up…"

"His strength attracted you," I reflected, entertained by Kagura's apparent crush on the elder Inu brother.

 _"Strength,"_ she downed the remainder of her drink and hastily wiped her mouth on her sleeve before pouring herself another glass. "Inuyasha is stronger. Sesshomaru's all looks. Thinks he's so high and mighty, so aloof…"

I couldn't help but laugh at her monologue. I took a drink of my own beverage, trying hard to not associate the taste with my drunken lament and associated hangover just days ago. I briefly wondered how much it would take to get Kagura drunk and if the sight would be worth seeing. She couldn't be much worse than Inuyasha.

"Not that he would ever want me, anyway…" Kagura continued on her rant.

"Sesshomaru?" I asked. I did not dare speak it, but Sesshomaru always seemed completely contented with his own company. The idea of him with any kind of mate was a little hard to wrap my head around.

"Who else?" Kagura asked, annoyed. The irritable look on her face quickly subsided, replaced by guilt. "Sorry," she apologized.

"You're fine," I reassured her. "No need to apologize for your feelings."

"Yeah, well, I shouldn't have snapped at you." Without warning, she snatched my cup from my hand and topped it off with wine before handing it back.

"Apology accepted?" I tasted the mixture. Sake and wine. Not sure if I enjoyed this or not… "Anyway, as you were…"

Kagura sighed and looked away from me, turning her attention to her drink, which she listlessly swirled around in its glass.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

Kagura chuckled darkly. "Just wonder what's next… like, after here. _If_ I get out of here, that is."

"You can do whatever you want," I offered. "Fly away, see the world… _woo Sesshomaru,_ should you be so bold…"

"Sesshomaru deserves something more than me," said Kagura, "I am a detachment of his nemesis. And so full of unkempt rage. I would like to imagine him with a figure more soft, more docile…" She looked almost sad.

"That could still be you," I said. Without thinking, I grabbed her hand and gave it a small squeeze. She looked at me, mixed emotions in her ruby irises.

"Sango," she said, "I'm damaged goods."

"And?" Her metaphor was vague enough for my slightly inebriated brain. I set my drink on the bedside table.

Kagura pulled her hand from my grasp and ran it through her hair. She untied her ponytail and let long black tresses spill over her shoulders. "No man in his right mind would want me, after what evil I've committed, after what I let Naraku do to me…"

I felt a spark of anger. I felt that same way. "So, what does that say of me, then?"

Her eyes widened in response. "Nothing!" she was quick to backtrack her words and defend. "You're different, entirely!"

"No…" I glared at her, dangerously. I had not yet decided if I took her previous statement as an insult or if I was just projecting my own loosely-related insecurities onto her. And then I was mad that she was selling herself so short, and because of things that were out of her control… I lunged at her, my hands on her shoulders, pinning her back against the wall.

_"Sango…"_

The way my name sounded in that instant, coming from her… I couldn't explain what it did to me. And my lack of understanding irked my emotions further.

"What makes you and I so different, then? In that regard?"

She was silent. Normally she was so quick to respond and seemed to have an answer prepared for everything.

"You kill because you want to, I kill because I have to," she finally answered. "I was born into evil and abuse, you were taken into it, entirely against your will." I released her and sat back.

I already saw the flaw in her logic. "But you did not ask to be born into this world, of Naraku, either… and you would not do as he wishes if he did not hold your very life in his hands…" That fact made me rather sad. Even should we both escape here—or I alone—I could never go back to viewing Kagura as entirely evil. Or even evil at all, really. Yes, she chose to do Naraku's bidding, but her hand was forced in most cases.

"Speaking of that…" She looked to me, nervousness in her eyes and mirrored in her body language. "Do you remember a few days ago, when Naraku sent me to 'visit' your friends?"

My heart skipped a beat. "Yes!" I exclaimed, unable to hide my eagerness. "Did you get to see them? Or speak to them?"

Kagura rubbed the back of her neck and took a drink of her alcohol, straight from the bottle. Her action made me think she may have bad news. Not ideal…

"I did not," she answered finally.

"What?"

"I did not see them," she repeated herself. "I couldn't."

"What do you mean?" I was confused.

"I barely followed their scent," Kagura continued. "I followed long enough to send Naraku's demons on their way. Whether or not the demons reached their targets, I do not know, and frankly, I do not care…"

I was a little disappointed that she did not have a run-in with my companions. If she did, maybe they would have been able to help somehow…

"Why? Why did you just release the demons and leave?"

I got the impression that it was hard for her to find the correct combination of words. Maybe she was drunk now. Either way…

"I could not bring myself to face them, Sango," said Kagura, "without you."

_Without me?_

She answered the question in my head, as if she could read my mind. "It felt wrong. I don't think I can face them again, unless I have either you at my side or a solid plan of attack..."

"Plan?" I asked.

"You know… get away from Naraku? Escape? I don't know…" Her words were finally beginning to slur.

 _Escape_ … The word sounded so foreign in my head. There was no escape.

"'Escape'…" Once again, my drunken friend echoed something I had not even spoken yet. "Oh, I cannot wait for the day…" She turned to me, an intoxicated red tint on her cheeks, red that nearly matched her eyes. "And you…" She pointed a finger at me and I blinked in surprise. "You need to get the hell out of here. You still have hope."

"Not likely," I scoffed.

"Bullshit!" I was shocked at her small outburst. "You still have people out there who love you, who care about you. You need to get out of here before you end up like me. You don't want to end up like me. And I don't wish that on anyone."

"You're not all bad…"

"Do you want to know how I got like this?" Kagura asked angrily. Her growing temper was alarming but did not phase me. I had more reason to believe she was angry at herself, at her circumstances in life. She would not harm me.

"The _first time_ I fucked up," the wind sorceress began, "he merely showed me that my life was not my own." She made a clenching motion with her fist. "I had no clue… I went into that battle, first with Koga's men, then Inuyasha and Koga themselves, thinking I was destined for greatness. That maybe I would help Naraku and together we would rule all. Pfft, naivete…" She hugged her knees to her chest.

"The _second time_ I fucked up, he almost reabsorbed me!" She finished off the _entire_ bottle of wine. "And then when he managed to put himself back together, I _wished_ he had just reabsorbed me." Her eyes brimmed with tears and she turned away from me. My heart hurt for her. She faced me again, tears falling freely from her gorgeous red eyes and staining her pale face. "After Naraku had overcome that weakened state, he tested out his strength on me. He nearly beat me to death… and when that did not stop me, he…" She closed her eyes and rested her forehead on top of her knees. Her shoulders shook a little and I realized she was crying.

Kagura looked up, tears blurring her eyes, doing no justice to censor the pent-up rage and hurt she was no doubt feeling. The same kind of pain I felt currently, in the lowest point of my soul, in the darkest recesses of my mind. I could see her grip tighten on the neck of the empty wine bottle…

 _"He fucking raped me!"_ I ducked as she swung the bottle and released it, sending it crashing into the wall, shattering into hundreds of tiny pieces.

 _"Kagura…"_ It was my turn to be the comfort, the shoulder to cry on. It was so hard… I cautiously approached the distraught woman beside me and put my arms around her shaking shoulders. She stiffened at the gesture and I felt as if I had been stabbed. I had really hoped I was wrong in my hypothesis that she too was a victim of Naraku's twisted forms of punishment.

The wind demon eventually relaxed a little and cried into my shoulder, awkwardly holding on to me. "That wasn't the last time, either… Oh, no—that was his favorite form of punishment. That and literally squeezing the life out of me. I wish he would just beat me instead… anything… but that…"

I closed my eyes tightly shut, trying to stop my own tears. I rested my chin on top of her head and held her close. It was so strange seeing Kagura let her guard down, especially to reveal such a personal tragedy. _When it rains, it pours… No wonder she has always been so kind to me here… Empathy…_

And then it hit me:

_Who took care of her?_

No one. Not a soul. I already knew. The image of Kanna coming to her aid briefly invaded my thoughts, but it did not last. Maybe she did. Not any of my business…

"This all continued until you were brought here," Kagura spoke up, softly. "And quite honestly, I wish it was still me…"

"No! Don't say that!" She didn't deserve such treatment!

She pulled away from me and wiped her eyes. "No," she said, "it's the lesser of two evils…"

"No… Kagura…" I took her hands in mine and looked into her eyes. "Just… _no_ …"

"That is why I help you… I can't stand the thought of what he did to me happening to anyone else…" Her confession spoke volumes; she held herself responsible, to a degree. Unnecessary guilt ran deep and her shame was true. "I especially hate that it had to happen to you… and I have been powerless to stop it!" She carefully squeezed my hands in a weak gesture of comfort. Empathy was such a foreign concept to her. I could tell my actions confused her.

"Kagura," I started, "you've known so little kindness…" She hung her head, unable to look me in the eyes. I felt as if I knew on a soul level where she was coming from right now, in this moment. "You are not weak." I boldly reached out and caressed the side of her face. I brought my fingertips to her chin and guided her to look at me. I pulled her into an embrace, one that she was not so skeptical of, this time.

 _How long,_ I wondered to myself, _did she keep this held in? How long has she dealt with this, by herself? How long and how often did this go on for?_ My stupid logical brain began to give me estimations that I blatantly ignored and refused to allow into my conscious thought.

My hatred for Naraku grew tenfold at Kagura's admission of her plight at his hands. He absolutely had to die, there was no other option at this point. His evil plots, general treachery, and his actions against me be damned—the notion that he could inflict that type of evil on anyone else at all was enough to justify a most gruesome demise. But then again, death may be mercy for such a dishonorable, hollow, disgusting being. I already knew I would enjoy killing Naraku, but this just made it even more so. I felt no guilt over my disturbing thoughts of resentment and murder. I would make him pay for everything he ever did to everyone; all the pain he has caused me personally, pitting Inuyasha and Kikyo against each other, cursing Miroku's family, and defiling such a beautiful being that he somehow created.

_'Beautiful'…_

But she was…

I didn't even notice amidst my stewing anger and general intoxicated brooding that Kagura had fallen asleep in my arms.

* * *

_The brightness of the sun awoke me from my slumber; I could feel its rays intruding on my sleep from behind my eyelids. I got out of bed and headed to the door, drawn to it. I walked through the many twists and turns of the castle, unaware of how quiet everything was. Dead silence. Everything was in slow motion, almost._

_I approached the exit that led to the koi pond and forest scenery. The doors slid open of their own accord and the blinding light of the sun caused me to hold up my arms. My eyes gradually began to adjust to the intense lightning and I lowered my arms as my vision was restored. To my bewilderment, I was met with the scene of the slayer village, particularly an area where parents used to take their children to play._

_I stepped outside and walked along the path leading to the play area. It was enclosed in a crude wired fence. I watched as the parents happily interacted with the children. Faces of people I used to know would glance at me every now and then, but they did not seem to actually see me. I spotted a younger version of my best childhood friend, Jou. He was running toward a play structure, a fistful of dandelions in his hands._

_He almost reached his destination. A young girl, dressed in a white and maroon kimono, stuck out her foot and tripped him. Little Jou fell on his face, releasing his bouquet and sending flowers everywhere. His assailant laughed and climbed atop the play structure. Once there, she was almost immediately shoved off by—_

_Me._

_I know I laughed but the sound could not be heard. By me or the people before me. I almost thought I was in a memory, but then I took a second glance at the little girl who tripped poor Jou. She had ruby red eyes and a feather in her hair._

_Kagura?_

_The child version of Kagura looked up at my younger self and shouted at her while simultaneously pointing at Jou, who knelt on the ground, sadly collecting his flowers. What could only be described as a younger version of Kagome soon appeared at my younger self's side, followed shortly by Inuyasha and Miroku. Miroku jumped down to help Jou pick up his flowers and dignity. My young doppelganger then came down to confront little Kagura once more. Soon everyone was on the ground, in some confrontation or another._

_Finally, a version of my father came over and broke up the scuffle between Kagura and me. He knelt down beside us and was clearly lecturing us on our behavior, but in the soft, understanding way that he used to describe the world to me and Kohaku. My heart wrenched as I saw a woman approach his side, holding my baby brother._

_Was that my mother?_

_I barely remembered her… Father had a portrait drawn up of the three of us, before Kohaku was born. That portrait did not do her justice! Even if this was a sick dream or altered memory…_

_The other children began to disperse; their parents coming to collect them. No one even noticed the dark clouds rolling in above them. I could smell miasma. My eyes widened and I struck the metal fence. No one was paying any attention at all. I grabbed it with both hands and shook it violently, feeling tiny razor blades piercing my palms. I screamed for their attention, for them to heed my warning._

_My father took my younger self by the hand and Mother motioned for me to wave goodbye to Kagura. I did so, confusion evident on my young face. I watched my former family walk away; they all were walking away._

_Except for Kagura. The young demon girl stood alone, watching everyone walk away from her. The darkness increased and a breeze manifested. A dark figure emerged from off-scene. As it came into focus, I could see that it was wearing a baboon pelt. The figure knelt before the young Kagura and offered her its hand. She blinked innocently and took its offer. I shook the fence once more and screamed as loud as I could. I thought for a moment she could hear me, as she glanced in my direction._

_She was in danger… I couldn't explain why, but she was! I just knew it… The mysterious person removed the baboon mask, revealing a man with a pale face, long wavy dark hair, and blood-red eyes. He motioned for the little girl to follow him and she did. They soon vanished into a black cloud of miasma and as they did so, I screamed, and my vision faded._

_Raindrops made a rhythm on the ground around me. Everything smelled of water and earth. My clothes were soaked._

_"Sango!" I heard my name and opened my eyes. My surroundings were dull and grey, aside from the highlighted green of a nearby forest. I was in a garden of some sort, on the grounds of a grand castle. Kagome and Inuyasha were walking toward me, Shippo and Kirara behind them._

_"We were wondering if you would even show up…" Inuyasha said, a somber note in his gruff voice. He was dressed in all black, in garments I recognized as being from Kagome's time. He wore a black suit with a matching black overcoat; his long silver hair was tied back in a low ponytail. Kagome's attire was similar—a black dress with a black shawl covering her shoulders. Shippo, too, was wearing an all-black ensemble._

_Were we in Kagome's time? What's going on?_

_I looked down at myself and saw that my attire matched Kagome's. I looked back to my friends and glanced around for Miroku. Where was he?_

_"Why wouldn't I show up?" I asked, growing very wary of this whole situation._

_Kagome and Inuyasha glanced at each other, worried looks on their faces._

_"Where's Miroku?"_

_As if on cue, a car pulled up. Koga was the first out, having been the one driving, followed by Ginta, Hakkaku, Jou, Sesshomaru, and Miroku. They were all dressed in matching black suits, similar to Inuyasha's. They walked to the back of the vehicle and opened the back door. They began to pull out a casket. The six men lifted it carefully and began walking in our direction._

_"Sango!" I heard my name again, accompanied by hurried footsteps splashing in the grass and mud._

_I turned to see Kagura, also wearing a black dress, slowing her pace as she approached me, out of breath._

_The pallbearers passed us and a feeling of dread and guilt washed over me. I watched them walk away, toward a small stone temple just east of the castle's entrance. Kagura grabbed my hand, giving it a tender, reaffirming squeeze. She led me behind the pallbearers and we followed them into the temple. They set the coffin down and dispersed, lining up on either side of me, Kagura, and the others._

_Miroku took point and stood at the front of the room, just behind the coffin. I looked around and noticed that others had gathered—people I knew from the slayer village._

_"We are gathered here today to recognize and honor a life cut short, in the most melancholic of ways," Miroku began his lecture. I didn't like this…_

_"He was a loving soul, kind and gentle, yet determined and loyal…"_

_Who died?_

_"…we offer these prayers to his sole surviving family member, his older sister, Sango..."_

_"Kohaku… He's… gone?"_

__I felt Inuyasha's rough hand grip my shoulder and both Kagura and Kagome grabbed my hands._ _

_"…the boy whom could not be saved, tormented by memories of evil; he was forced to do such evil things, all because of the curse of the sacred Shikon Jewel and the simple fact that his beloved sister could not save him in time."_

_What?!_

_"Kohaku killed himself, Sango," Inuyasha stated coldly. "Don't you remember?" I jerked my shoulder out of his grasp and backed away from him and my other companions, who all stared at me, mixed expressions of pity and disgust on their faces._

_"Why, why would he do that?!"_

_"You couldn't save him," Miroku accused loudly. His words stung the most, tearing violently at my heartstrings._

_"You couldn't even save yourself," stated Kagura, stepping toward me. "When you took him and escaped, you left me there! Alone!" She slapped me across the face and I fell, bumping into my brother's coffin on the way down._

_The lid popped open briefly and I caught a glimpse of Kohaku's small hand, his arm hanging limply outside of the casket. I cried out and got to my feet. I reached out to my dead brother but was held back by many arms and strengths, pulling me backward._

_"Weak!"_

_"Stupid!"_

_"Disgrace!"_

_"Dishonorable!"_

_"Unfaithful!"_

_"Whore!"_

_The last utterance, from Miroku, of all people, could have killed me. Everyone released me and I fell to my knees, at the foot of my brother's casket._

_"Kagura," I heard Kagome, "you should have let her die. She clearly did not deserve your hospitality."_

_"Agreed," stated Inuyasha. He directed his next words at me, "I thought you were better than this, Sango. I know what Naraku did to you and what he did to your brother, too. You should have just killed yourself, then at least he wouldn't have suffered so much."_

_"No!" I cried out in between sobs. "No, this isn't true, this isn't happening! I would never let ANYONE lay their hands on Kohaku!"_

_"Yes, as long you weren't distracted by Naraku fucking you first—"_

_"I didn't want that! I didn't want ANY of that!"_

_"Liar," Miroku approached me. I turned to face him. "And here I thought you were a woman worth loving…"_

_In a burst of adrenaline, I stood up. Everyone was surrounding me, staring, accusing, some even laughing. I pushed past them and bolted out of the temple, tears blurring my vision and rain soaking my clothes. I tore off down a path that led to the castle entrance. I threw open the doors and ran inside, not even sure what I was running from at this point._

_I stopped to catch my breath and leaned against a wall. A panel gave in at my weight and I fell into a room. It looked so familiar… I stood and stared at my surroundings, trying to figure out where I was now._

_"Do you remember the bedroom, my dear Sango?"_

_That voice!_

_I spun around, frantically searching for the source of the voice. I pushed back against the wall and the panel did not budge. Upon a second glance, the room did not have any doors and the window that I could have sworn was there a minute ago was now gone. I turned and pounded on the wall, desperate to escape._

_I was startled by a pair on hands on my shoulders; I let out a scream as I turned around. Naraku stood before me, a sinister grin on his face. He grabbed my wrists and pinned my hands above my head._

_"Let me go!" I cried out and tried to squirm away from him. He pushed his weight on me, restricting my breathing. I thrashed and struggled to escape but to no avail._

_Naraku's grip tightened on my wrists and I could feel the blood flow to my hands decreasing. His nails dug into my skin and I could feel a tiny droplet of blood trickling down my arm. He delivered a bruising kiss to my lips and soon after, threw me to the floor._

_Before I could make any attempt at moving away, Naraku kicked me in the stomach. I curled up in pain, not even trying to hide my tears. He continued to beat me until I could barely move. I gazed dizzily at the ceiling, taking note of blood in my vision. Busted blood vessel in my eye… oh well…_

_Naraku began removing my clothing and then his own. He stopped before going any further, a wicked smile curling his lips._

_"You're nothing, Sango."_

_"You are weak."_

_"You have failed."_

_"You are a disgrace to your family and their memory."_

_"You are not pretty."_

_"You are not strong."_

_The familiar dread and panic took hold of me and I cried out, bracing myself for the inevitable pain._

I screamed.

And I was awake.

Shaking, I looked around the room, studying my surroundings. I was in Kagura's room, in her bed. I glanced to my side; she was still asleep. Somehow. Breathing heavily, I left the bed as quietly as I could. I shivered; a cold sweat covered my body, causing my clothes to cling to my skin in a disgusting way. I stood in the darkness; my surroundings illuminated by the trace amount of moonlight shining in through the window. I closed my eyes and tried to control my breathing and remember what happened.

Naraku left for the week, Kagura and I spent the day together, talking, drinking… Kagura got drunk and disclosed her trauma to me… I fell asleep… nightmares.

I could faintly remember the nightmares. Or maybe it was just one. One long, drawn-out, sick, shapeshifting nightmare. It was just a dream…

But the feelings and words within stuck with me, clinging to the darker side of myself, not restrained by reason, hope, or love.

_Love._

Something I did not deserve.

_"Whore"._

Jou flashed before my eyes, followed by a thousand images of Miroku.

Something I could never have.

_"Weak"._

A shine caught my eye. We had never cleaned up the shattered wine bottle. I sauntered over to its glass remains and crouched down, careful not to step on any of the fragments. A large piece of the broken glass, caught my wretched attention and I carefully picked it up.

I examined the shard, my actions not my own. I felt like I was tethered above my own self, watching it all in third person.

Unwanted memories brought me back to myself. I bit back tears and closed my eyes.

I saw Kohaku die, over and over again.

I couldn't breathe, like I was digging myself out of the grave again.

Phantom, illusory pains wrought my body, in the form of stinging cuts and the dull aches of bruises that have long since healed.

I opened my eyes, feeling unsafe if they were closed. All I could see in my mind were rehashes of memories I wish I didn't have, the last one to plague me being that of Naraku's twisted smile as he violated me. His blood-red eyes haunted my dreams and even my waking thoughts. I began to drift again…

I turned the piece of broken glass over in my palm, taking in its every detail. It was a transparent rose color. I could still smell the alcohol. The majority of the edges were surprisingly dull and jagged.

One edge was sharp.

As I held the shard in both hands, like it was some kind of sacred object, my attention turned toward my exposed forearms.

_No…_

_Did I really want to die…?_

My mind went blank for moments. Minutes or hours, I could not tell…

_Did I really want to live…?_

If I died, I would be reunited with my parents. I would finally get to see my mother's face and understand what my father meant when he always used to say she gave me her smile. I would see the rest of our village and our friends. Jou. Maybe I was destined for him after all. He died indirectly at Naraku's hands and how fittingly would it be that I took my life at Naraku's… inspiration… only to be wed to Jou in the afterlife? Or hell… Suicides probably did really go to hell.

_But I was already there._

What am I leaving behind, really?

_But Kohaku…_

Was he really alive? I saw this boy here a few days ago, that looked just like him… Did Kohaku die by arrows? Did he die with the rest of us? What if I died and this was purgatory? Could I die again?

If this is all real and not just another dream, I beg Kagura to take care of Kohaku. Kagura and the rest of my friends, should they be so lucky as to reunite one day. They would. It would probably be quicker and easier without me. And Kagura could clearly take care of herself…

_Miroku…_

He doesn't love me. He _can't_ love me. I was tainted, used… and beside the fact that I was no longer a virgin, I was hostile and cynical. Jaded and rough. Miroku deserved far more than that, all of it. My flawed character and disgraced body could likely not even hold worthy comparison to the woman he would marry someday.

I took a deep breath and held the shard tightly in my right hand. I brought the sharp side of it to my pale forearm and winced as I applied pressure. Thick red blood began to seep from the wound and I drug the makeshift blade toward my hand. I examined my self-inflicted injury and then swapped the broken glass to my other hand. Holding my breath, the glass kissed my right arm, following the same path it had on my left. I dropped the shard to the floor and gazed at what I had done, chaotic madness filling my soul.

Remembering suddenly that I was not alone in the room, I turned to look toward Kagura, still sleeping peacefully on the bed in the corner.

The smallest semblance of guilt surfaced to my mind; I did not want her to be the first one to find me. I headed toward the bedroom door, sliding it open a little more hastily than I had planned, uncaring that I left blood. About halfway down the hallway, I began to feel lightheaded. I closed my eyes and put my hands out in front of me, stopping myself from running into a wall. My body was becoming too heavy. I collapsed to the floor.

As darkness took me, hopefully for the last time, I thought I heard an angel calling my name—a voice so beautiful, yet so strange.


	13. Chapter Twelve: Dots and Dashes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: "Dots and Dashes (Enough Already)" by Silversun Pickups]

_[Kagura's point of view.]_

The sound of my bedroom door sliding open successfully broke my rare drunken slumber. I cracked an eye open and laid still, preferring to try to get a visual first, lest I be in danger. I looked out the window; it was still very dark outside, the moon high in the sky and surrounded by tiny dancing stars. I rubbed my eyes and stretched, assuming I was not in any imminent danger.

The sight of a bloody handprint smeared on my bedroom door jarred me awake. I immediately got out of bed and reached inside my kimono for my fan. I held it defensively in front of me as I surveyed the room. Broken glass was peppered all over the floor. I briefly remembered throwing and shattering the wine bottle. I took a step toward the door and examined the blood. In addition to the handprint, there was also a small trail of blood droplets leading out into the hall.

The scent almost brought me to my knees.

_"Sango…!"_

I wasn't sure if I even audibly spoke the slayer's name. I ran out into the hall and frantically looked down both directions, searching for any sign of her. The thin trail of blood and the strength of her scent led me to the right and to the end of the hall.

There, just around the corner, was Sango, laying facedown on the floor, blood staining her clothing.

My anxiety piqued and I rushed over to where she lay, panic coursing through me like cruel electricity.

_She couldn't be dead… no… Not her, not now, not my friend…_

_My only friend._

I rolled her over onto her back. She was still breathing, although her efforts were labored.

"Sango!" I cried out her name, tears forming in my eyes.

I examined her injuries, no doubt self-inflicted. I tore the hem of my kimono and ripped the fabric to smaller strips. I tied the fabric tightly around her arms, in makeshift tourniquets, hoping it would suppress the bleeding long enough so that I could properly treat her wounds. I picked her up and ran back to my room and into the adjoining washroom, where I kept my medicines, salves, and medical supplies.

I laid her down on the floor and untied the fabric on her left arm first, judging the bleeding in that location to be more severe. I cleaned the wound as best as I could with little time. I was complete garbage at stitches, but I would have to try. Several minutes and precise movements later, I was able to stitch up the lengthy cut on her forearm. It was deeper closer to her elbow. Thankfully, she barely missed her radial artery.

Satisfied with my ministrations thus far, I tended to the wound on her right arm, which proved to be thankfully not as severe, in length or depth, although it still required stitches. Once I had the bleeding contained for the most part, I attempted to clean her up and dress her wounds.

During my care, I periodically checked Sango's pulse and kept an eye on her breathing patterns. I did not think she lost enough blood to cause any significant damage, but I was still scared. I couldn't lose her; and not even for my own selfish reasons alone. It wasn't her time. Her friends needed her. Her brother needed her. Even if Sango no longer believed those things herself, I _knew_ it to be true.

As for my aforementioned selfish reasons… I was not ready to lose my first real friend, the first living being who seemed to actually genuinely care for me at all and show me more kindness than just polite banter. Over the past week or so that she had been forced into captivity, in my guard, I had grown to enjoy her company and respect her as both a warrior and a person. Sango inspired something within me, something good. She had become a light among the darkness of my life.

The thought of her dying in my arms crossed my mind and overstayed its welcome. I held her close and cried, hoping and praying that she would wake up.

_Is this what loss feels like?_

_Is this why everyone wants revenge?_

I understood it now. The idea of avenging fallen family and comrades. She wasn't even gone and I felt a bitter sample of grief. I gazed hopefully at the human girl in my arms. Sango looked almost peaceful; the slightest hint of sadness was evident in her expression, even as she slept, as if she was thinking about something painful right as she lost consciousness.

"Sango…" I cleared my throat and tried to sound calm and cool, my usual demeanor, "you can't leave just yet. You're too strong for that… I've told you before…" She stirred a little and my hopes soared, only to be grounded once more when she did not wake.

"You're a warrior, Sango…" I was now fighting off my own exhaustion. I could _not_ fall asleep until she was awake. Until I knew she was alright. _I refused…_

I brushed her hair back from her eyes and rested my palm on her forehead. Her temperature was warm enough. I'd take that as a good sign. "You know," I said, "your death, it won't happen to you, it happens to your family and your friends…" I could not imagine having to face Inuyasha and the others, to tell them what had happened to their friend… I could not even fathom having to tell Kohaku upon his return… These thoughts only made my tears return; and I cried harder, this time.

Fate, it seems, liked to torment me so. I could only keep myself awake for so long by uttering words of confidence and courage to the sleeping demon slayer. Luckily, I slept lightly.

* * *

_[Sango's point of view.]_

I couldn't move. Everything felt so heavy, especially my limbs and eyes. And a headache… again with the headaches… I thought I heard someone crying at one point… a woman…

I was oddly comfortable, like someone was holding me. Was I dead? Why couldn't I open my eyes?

When movement still couldn't come to fruition, I absolved that I may have accomplished my dark goal last night.

After what felt like an eternity, I was finally able to open my eyes. I could feel my limbs again and I could make the smallest movements. The tightness of bandages around my arms and the sting beneath informed me that I had failed in plotting my exit the previous night. I was soon very aware that I was being held closely by Kagura. She sat cross-legged, leaning against the wall, asleep. Even in her sleep, her hold on me was tight and protective. Her head was tilted to the side, toward her shoulder; I could tell by the way the sunlight crept in from the main bedroom and gently touched her face that she had been crying, quite recently.

A grim thought dawned upon me and I felt the heaviest guilt wash over my conscience.

_She found me._

It took me a few minutes to find my voice and make any noticeable movements. "Kagura…" I spoke her name so softly and gently touched the side of her face.

Her eyes fluttered open, suddenly awake. We locked eyes.

I felt so terrible.

"Sango!"

I put my arms around her neck and began to cry into her shoulder. She held onto me for dear life; I was almost certain she was crying, too.

"I'm so sorry…" I sobbed; the guilt had overtaken my entire being. _What was I thinking?_ "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry—" I couldn't stop apologizing! She held me and rocked us back and forth, one hand rubbing small circles on my back, the other running through my hair in a comforting motion. I certainly did not deserve her comfort now... not after nearly betraying her so.

We stayed like that for what felt like hours. No words were spoken. I did not mind.

Eventually, I was the one who broke our embrace. I allowed my hands to linger on her shoulders, afraid that if I completely broke contact with her, I may lose myself once again. My mind was bordering on the line between the here and now and the unpleasantry of my deepest thoughts. As if she could read my mind, I felt Kagura's hands cover mine.

"Please," she begged softly, " _always_ know that I am here for you. If nothing or no one else…" A tear escaped her eye. _She really was worried about me…_

I moved to wipe away her stray tear. Kagura took my hand in hers and held it gently, rubbing her thumb over my knuckles in a delicate motion.

"This world would be a lot less bright without you," Kagura continued, " _My _world would be less bright. And your brother's, too… There are so many lives you have touched, Sango. You have no idea…" The wind sorceress placed her free hand on the middle of my chest. I watched her action then slowly met her gaze. "Should this strong, brave heart stop beating, there would be far more broken hearts, including my own."__

Kagura's words were so sincere, her actions so careful. This moment between us was by far the most intimate I had shared with another living soul. For all I know, she had seen me die. For all I know, she had given me life once more. The bandages on my arms were evidence enough for that theory. Beyond that, she had likely saved my life a few more times before, or at least lessened my suffering at Naraku's hands.

"You're not alone, Sango," said Kagura, "and you're not worthless, or defiled, or evil, or selfish." She moved her hand from my chest to my shoulder, then brushed my hair out of my face, tucking stray strands behind my ear. "You're brave, and strong, and selfless." I averted my gaze, feeling a little embarrassed at the compliments. Regardless of context, I never knew how to take them.

Exhaustion swept over me as I found further solace in the arms of the wind sorceress. I leaned against Kagura, resting my head on her shoulder. She returned the sentiment by putting an arm around my waist and pulling me closer. I was acutely aware of her scent at this time, a strangely comforting blend of cherry blossoms and pine. I closed my eyes and soon drifted off to a surprisingly peaceful sleep.

* * *

We spent the majority of the day sleeping. Kagura fully arose once to bathe, change clothes, and go retrieve water and food for us both. I was astonished she didn't have a hangover, with the amount of alcohol she consumed the previous night. But then again, Inuyasha did not seem to get hangovers on the rare occasion he did drink to get drunk.

Must be a demon thing.

I had no appetite and was still a little lightheaded and shaken from the night before. However, I did make myself eat a few of the fruits Kagura brought back from the kitchen. Dehydration got the better of me, though, and I was more than happy to drink every glass of water that was poured for me. That decision came back to haunt me; I was up almost every hour, it felt like, to use the bathroom.

Kagura chuckled lightly as I crawled back into the bed beside her. "What?" I asked, annoyed at my own biology.

"Maybe don't drink so much water next time?" She raised an eyebrow at me in jest.

"Maybe don't insist on making me drink and eat next time," I suggested. I grabbed a pillow and playfully hit her in the arm with it. A fleeting memory of pillow fights and blanket forts with my brother crossed my mind.

"I only care for you, my friend," said Kagura, "otherwise, I'd just let you starve."

"You wouldn't…"

"Oh, I would…"

"Oh, fuck off, Kagura." I hit her with the pillow again and we both laughed. I looked around the room, scanning the types and amount of furniture. A silly idea was forming in my mind and I couldn't help but giggle at the thought.

"What?" asked Kagura, eyeing me skeptically. I narrowed my eyes and grinned at her. "What nonsense are you plotting, taijiya?"

"Do you have any spare blankets?" I asked.

Kagura blinked at me, confusion written all over her pale face. "…the hell…?"

"Let's build a blanket fort," I suggested, getting up and heading to the door.

I returned momentarily, the blankets from the bedroom across the hall balled up in my arms. I dropped the bundle to the floor and stood proudly before Kagura, hoping she would buy into my childish bullshit. "We're building a blanket fort." I would give her no choice.

"What the hell is a blanket fort?" asked Kagura.

"It's exactly what it sounds like, Kagura," I answered. I had a picture in my mind of how the dressers, bed, and bedside table would need to be arranged to make this work. I got to work at repositioning the furniture. While confused, Kagura did not seem to mind at all. She merely watched me in curiosity.

The two dressers were both positioned across from one another, one lined up with the headboard and one lined up with the foot of the bed. I pushed the small table in between the two dressers, then pulled it back so that there was space between the two objects. I placed the first blanket from my room on the ground, trying to determine if this would work. Satisfied with the results, I stood up and pulled the blanket off Kagura's bed and draped it over the array of furniture.

I got down on my hands and knees and crawled into the fort. I felt silly and whimsical; I couldn't help but laugh at my own ridiculousness. I laid under the blanket and closed my eyes, a smile on my face and the pleasant feeling of nostalgia touching my heart. Kagura soon joined me. I cracked open an eye and giggled as I watched her crawl into the fort and lay next to me.

"This is silly," stated the wind demon.

"Exactly," I agreed.

"Then why create this strange, small dwelling, if you agree that it's silly?"

"Because it's fun." Our exchange only made me smile more. We briefly reminded me of Kagome and Inuyasha and how she was always showing him something new. He was quick to approach new things with skepticism, but usually opened up to new experiences once he established a threat level. I got the sense Kagura was similar in that approach.

"Kohaku and I used to build blanket forts like this when we were little," I shared my precious memory with my new friend, temporarily feeling the rose-tinted warmth of nostalgia brush away the plight of adulthood. "Our father taught me how to make them when I was little and it was just something silly I could share with Kohaku. He always liked to hide in these; he always scared so easily."

"Cute," mused Kagura.

I couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or not. "Do I detect sarcasm, Kagura?"

"No, actually," she replied, "I think it's endearing."

I smiled at the thought.

"You are happy," noted Kagura.

I rolled on my side to look at her. She was smiling, too. "So are you."

"It is just nice to be able to have a moment like this," she explained, "and enjoy the little things."

"I agree."

"I'm also happy you're here to share this odd moment with me and be able to share your dear memories, as well." There was warmth in her words, and genuine conviction.

"Well… I'm not going anywhere," I think I believed myself this time. "I promise."

"Good. If you do, there won't be anymore weird things for you to show me." I playfully punched her in the arm. Kagura's eyes widened in mock hurt. "Two for flinching." She blocked me that time and I grabbed her forearms. She pulled to escape my grasp but failed. I initially had no intention of this turning into a small play fight.

But it took that route anyway. I won. Her tactics, both real and feigned, had strength in distance. I excelled in close quarters combat. I triumphantly gazed down at her, pinning her arms above her head as I straddled her hips.

"I won," I stated, unable to hide the grin on my face. Kagura frowned at me and narrowed her eyes.

I suddenly and abashedly became aware of our current position. Kagura took absolutely no notice and took the time to free herself and playfully shove me off her. I was thankful for the dark, as I was sure my face was a little red, for no reason…

_The hell was that?_

I watched my friend as she laid on her side, eyeing me curiously. I had something for this…

"You know," said Kagura, "you really do look like your damn brother, in that outfit, with your hair like that…"

I clenched my fist and glared daggers at her. Her eyes widened and her relaxed position transformed into one of defense, as she scooted away from me, her back now against the dresser. I was once more reminded of Inuyasha and Kagome, specifically the terror always prevalent on the half-demon's face just before Kagome sat him into a crater. I wish I could make her faceplant into the floor with a single word.

_SLAP!_

That felt good. I smirked as lay next to Kagura, who was painfully rubbing the side of her face.

"I never meant any offense, Sango," repented Kagura, "he's not a bad looking boy." I turned to her and arched an eyebrow. "Not that you look like a boy! Or anything of that sort!" She was digging herself into a hole, here. For some reason, I was very entertained by this exchange, especially watching her trip over her words and backtrack them. I was not really infuriated or offended at all. At least at the last portion of her words.

"I'm just going to shut up now."

"You made a good choice."

We sat in comfortable silence and I couldn't wipe the foolish smile from my face. There was absolutely no merit for it at all, but I felt like I had known Kagura for years. Our budding friendship was odd, forged in a dangerous place. Our interactions reminded me of some amalgamation of all my relationships before, mirroring that most strangely and unexpectedly of Inuyasha and Kagome, at least when we were joking around. I was reminded of why I always chose to hang out with boys rather than girls. Thus far, Kagura did not mind the rough-housing and teasing that I was so accustomed to. I was completely unsure what Kagome would do, on the other hand, had I approached her one day with a tackle and/or insult instead of a gentler hug or simple greeting. The thought alone made me laugh to myself.

I was falling fast asleep, kept awake only by the most subtle but undesired chill. I shivered and rubbed my hands over my arms, drawing my knees to my chest. I was far too tired to attempt to move the blanket beneath us or deconstruct our fort at all.

"You cold?" Kagura piped up. I was not aware she was still awake.

"A little."

Unexpectedly, she put her arm around me, holding me close. I was suddenly more awake than I had planned to be. "Better?" she asked.

"Sure…" _Idiot,_ I cursed myself. _'Sure?' It was a 'yes' or 'no' question…_

I fell asleep in the most unlikely of places: in the arms of the wind sorceress, Kagura, under the confines of a crudely crafted blanket fort, in her room.

* * *

"I'm telling you, it's not going to work…"

"And _I'm_ telling _you,_ it's worth a try…"

I stood in the castle grounds, next to the koi pond, staring at the sky. Few clouds were overhead, the sky's light blue slowly becoming more engulfed by grays as the day wore on. Kagura stood at my side, determined as ever, feather in hand and fire in her eyes.

"Looks like rain, soon…" I noted aloud.

"Fuck your rain," was Kagura's curt response.

"It's not _my_ rain…" Before I could get half of my sentence out, Kagura was flying on her feather toward the heavens. She became smaller and smaller as she rose into the sky…

…and was stopped by Naraku's barrier. Her feather fluttered to the ground and I ran to catch her. She landed forcefully in my arms and we both fell to the ground, in a heap of desperation and defeat.

"You were right," conceded Kagura.

"But it was worth a try."

Kagura growled and punched the ground. "This place _sucks_!" She stood up and stomped over to where her feather had fallen so gracefully to the ground. The wind demon retrieved the ornament and secured it back in her hair. I stood up and walked beside her, brushing the grass off my kimono.

I turned to her. "Now what?"

She gazed ahead, toward the forest before us, deep in thought. An idea lit up her eyes and she grabbed me by the hand, leading me hurriedly down the path, crossing the bridge over the pond. "Come on!"

"Where are we going?"

Kagura never answered me directly, preferring to show me instead. She led us down a small trail that soon veered off and disappeared. We followed a small stream through the woods. I was taken aback by the sheer natural beauty of this place. Who'd have known? A beautiful wooded area right in the back of Naraku's castle. The place was teeming with life and smelled heavily of earth and water. The sweet smell of the native flora also wafted through the air. The gentle, calming sounds of the stream were music to my ears.

Our trek ended up a slight incline and past some tall grass. We crossed over some large, flat rocks and I was met with the most beautiful sight: a small waterfall, cascading into a plunge pool, surrounded by mossy rock formations and some small trees. I was awestruck, my senses overwhelmed with the natural beauty surrounding me. Kagura took my hand once more and led me to the water's edge. We peered over and could clearly see our reflections looking back at us. Past the reflections, I could see a small fish take note of our presence and flee. The water was a gorgeous cerulean blue, clear enough to see the rocks beneath.

"This place is amazing!" I couldn't hold in my excitement and astonishment.

"I thought you might approve," Kagura stated proudly.

"How did you find this place?"

"Naraku's barrier isn't as confining as one may think," explained Kagura. She sat at the edge of the pool and pulled up the hem of her kimonos, before dipping her feet in the water. "I discovered this place one day after becoming frustrated with just trying to fly out of Naraku's barrier and into the sky… like today… I decided to try to see how far in each direction the barrier extends. This is my favorite place I've found."

"Does Naraku know of it?"

"I highly doubt that," scoffed Kagura, "and even if he did, I doubt he would care. A monster such as that has no appreciation for the natural beauty of places like this."

"Probably not…" I was listening to her, I swear I was, but everything here was so distracting. A novel environment, created by and shrouded in nature; the whole scene was completely relaxing. I didn't even realize I was still standing until I felt Kagura's hand tugging at the hem of my kimono. I slowly took a seat beside her, careful not to fall into the water. I mirrored my friend's actions and also placed my feet in the water. The water was cool but not cold, and felt quite amazing on this relatively warm day.

We sat in comfortable silence and I could not prevent the smile that kept forming on my face. I was _happy._ Part of me felt bad for that, as I was still a captive, still a prisoner of war, but I could not deny the fact that I was able to actually enjoy something here.

"Kagura," I turned my head to face her and whatever I was planning on saying quite literally fell out of my brain.

Kagura was still beside me but now partially disrobed. We made eye contact as the last layer of her kimonos slid off her shoulder, leaving her covered by only her underwear and chest wrap. She then untied her hair, letting her long, raven-black locks spill past her shoulders, covering her flawless pale skin. She slipped into the water and pushed gracefully off the bank with her foot. Kagura surfaced and stood nearly in the middle of the plunge pool. Her shoulders were visible, telling me that the water was not too deep at that point.

"You swim, do you not?" Kagura asked.

"Maybe…?" I answered. I couldn't keep my eyes off her and I had no idea why. She turned to look at the waterfall behind her and I glimpsed part of the spider-shaped scar on her back. I cringed a little, not feeling put off by her at all, but moreso feeling sympathy for her, that she was born from such a malevolent creature.

Kagura was kind. Naraku was not. Knowing what I know now, the two of them should not even be associated with one another.

I was lost in my thoughts yet again, grounded by Kagura's somewhat belated continuation of our recent exchange. "What do you mean, 'maybe'…?" She sounded closer than before. I glanced down at the water and she was a little over an arm's length away from me.

"Maybe…?" I echoed.

"As in, I asked you if you swim, you said, 'maybe'…" Kagura began backstroking away from me, toward the waterfall. She was as elegant in the water as she was on the land and in the air. Everything was like a dance to her, each movement calculated with such grace. The demoness neared me again. "I think 'maybe' stems from being thrown into the pond the other day…"

 _"Really?"_ Was that an insult? I tilted my head and blinked at her, raising an eyebrow.

Kagura smirked and swam away, plunging herself beneath the water. I did not trust her. There was something sneaky about her demeanor currently. I slowly pulled my legs out of the water and chose instead to kneel at the water's edge. I lost her momentarily.

_Where the hell could she have gone?_

There's no way she could have left the water; I would have heard that. I looked over my shoulder to check anyway. When I turned back toward the pool, Kagura was in front of me, a playful smirk on her face.

_Shit._

I let out a high-pitched shriek as she grabbed me by my shoulders and pulled me into the water with her. The water was cold, at first, but it felt good. I was starting to grow too hot earlier, but chose not to indulge in swimming for the very reason that got me into this literal position. I surfaced and shook my head. I pushed my bangs to the side and rubbed my eyes.

Kagura was about an arm's length from me, a triumphant smile donning her features. I glared at her in mock anger, before sending a splash in her direction. I don't think she was expecting that, as it took her a moment to retaliate. I splashed her back and she went under the water to dodge my efforts.

Alarmed and on guard, I spun around and searched the depths for any sign of my conniving friend. Kagura obviously found me before I found her; I felt her hands on my ankles and before neither curse nor scream could leave my lips, I was pulled underwater. She released me and I could hear and feel her movements through the water, signifying her escape. I quickly resurfaced and gave chase, laughing as I did so.

Kagura was fast but I was catching up to her quickly. I lunged in her direction once the water became shallower. She jumped out of the way to dodge my attack and I fell flat in the water. I could hear Kagura's laughter erupt from the shore. I pushed myself up on my hands and knees and glared in her direction. This means war. I rose to my feet and began my chase once more, my heart pounding in my chest with the cheap thrills of careless youth.

I chased her around the greenery of the shoreline and the small clearing nearby, finally catching up with her at the water's edge. Right before Kagura could jump in to avoid me, I tackled her, and we both went crashing into the water. I made it to the surface first, followed by my wind using friend. My shoulder actually hurt a little from where I had run into her.

"Are you ok?" I asked. "I didn't hurt you, did I?'

Kagura shook her head, "No." She grinned at me.

"What?"

"You."

 _"What?"_ I asked, confused and slightly exasperated.

"I'm growing fond of you, taijiya," said Kagura. She brushed her hair out of her face and offered a shy smile.

I smiled back, unsure what to say. I just knew my nerves were shot, for seemingly no reason. Maybe adrenaline… It's been a while since I had experienced any thrill or even a small adventure. I was suddenly aware of the wet bandages on my arms. I held my arms above the water, worried I would bleed through them.

"You'll be fine," Kagura put my worries at ease, for the time being. "We just changed those this morning. Plus, the stitches are already healing well."

She really was a godsend. Her medicine did wonders. I felt a twinge of guilt at the memory of how I ended up with these bandages in the first place. A friendly splash caught my attention, diverting it from a sorrow-filled memory to the brighter present.

We spent the rest of the day swimming and jumping off various points in the rock formations. Despite the circumstances that brought me here, this would prove to be one of the best days of my life, for a long time. A perfect blending of new memories with the comfort of old. For the first time in a long time, I felt shamelessly young and stupid. There was a strange comfort in just being able to act like a careless young hooligan, jumping off of waterfalls and chasing my friend, laughing in the summer heat.

Our day at the pool concluded as the sun began to set and the faintest chill claimed the air. Kagura was the first out of the water. Desiring to get in one last prank, I reached for her as she exited the pool. Predictive of my bullshit, she flawlessly turned around and lightly shoved my shoulder, sending me backward into the water. My splash and related curse were completely in sync with her evil laughter. I rubbed my eyes and shook my head. I stood up and carefully treaded the water to the shore. Kagura stood before me, already halfway dressed. The wind sorceress extended her hand to me, which I grabbed after a minute of deliberation, trying to decide if I would end up in the water again or not.

Kagura led the way back to the castle. I said my silent goodbyes to the flora and fauna of our secret hideaway, still marveling at the beauty of this place. The forest was gorgeous even after dark, the moonlight giving the foliage the faintest tints and highlights of blue.

By the time we made it back to the castle grounds, I was noticeably cold, shivering in my wet clothes. Kagura grabbed my hand, motioning for me to stop walking. Without even offering, she draped one of her kimonos over my shoulders. "Thank you," I bowed slightly to her and walked by her side to the castle.

Once inside, we raided the kitchen together, opting for healthier options such as fruit and water, and avoiding the allure of alcohol. Then we made it back to the safety of Kagura's room, where she drew a hot bath for me and offered to make some tea. I happily accepted her offers, thankful for her company alone and the overall pleasantry of the day.

We dismantled the blanket fort that night, agreeing that it was too cold and the blankets would be needed in their traditional form instead. Despite the blankets doing just fine, I still fell asleep in her arms, the strangest instance of anxiety, like butterflies, in my stomach. It was a good thing, I suppose, like the calming scent of cherry blossoms and pine.


	14. Chapter Thirteen: Grandloves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: "Grandloves" by Purity Ring]

Sometimes I truly believed I had grown up too fast. Especially now, especially since meeting Kagome and talking to her about norms, cultures, ideas, and customs in her time. She was sixteen. In her time, sixteen meant preparing for higher education, going on adventures with friends, and the occasional romantic courtship. By the time I was sixteen, I was a trained killer. When I was sixteen, I watched my family get killed and learned of the slaughter of my entire village. When I was sixteen, I was buried alive. When I was sixteen, my whole world went up in flames.

At seventeen, should I have been born in Kagome's time, I would be close to graduating high school and going off to college or the military. I would maybe have a relatively safer job preparing food, working in a market, or babysitting. I would look after and tease Kohaku and regularly indulge in the shenanigans of other carefree young hoodlums. I would be the object of some young suitor's affections and the resulting anxiety, butterflies, and random urges to vomit and say stupid things would be the most of my worries.

I would be eighteen in approximately two weeks. In my own time, I was already considered an adult and felt like one. I was used to holding varying responsibilities for my entire life, even as a young child caring for my younger brother. I wished that I could have a light-hearted love/hate relationship with him. Instead, I was constantly worrying about his life and currently wondering if he would even return from his travels with Naraku in one piece. I wished I could spend my days acting my age and not my rank. I wished my days could be spent like yesterday at the waterfall on repeat.

Almost eighteen, I was not running around with few cares and the world in my hands. I was not forming new friendships and swooning over boys. I was not preparing for a better future and better nature. Almost eighteen, I was still proudly a trained killer and I would have that no other way, at least. No. Almost eighteen, I was in danger and I knew damn well that sixteen and seventeen both took years off my life already. Almost eighteen and I could not get specific images of a certain wind sorceress out of my head. Her words would not leave, either, echoing in my mind…

_"This world would be a lot less bright without you," Kagura continued, "My world would be less bright. And your brother's, too… There are so many lives you have touched, Sango. You have no idea…" The wind sorceress placed her free hand on the middle of my chest. I watched her action then slowly met her gaze. "Should this strong, brave heart stop beating, there would be far more broken hearts, including my own."_

She had saved my life. On more than one occasion. From medicating my injuries every night to jumping into the pond to rescue me…

_I sputtered and coughed as I woke up. I slowly rolled over on my side, still spitting out water. Water was in my ears, lungs, everywhere. Shaking, I pushed myself up on my hands and knees and violently coughed up the last of the water, even vomiting a little._

_The last thing I remembered was darkness. Literally and metaphorically. I slowly turned my head to face my apparent savior. Breathing heavily, I sat back on my knees and folded my arms across my chest. Kagura was crouched beside me, watching my every move with such concern very apparent in her ruby red eyes. Something else was there, too, something I did not quite understand, something I could not read._

_Why did she save me?_

_Why me? I was not worth saving at this point… And why her? She was a powerful demon, and I, a weak human… Why did she insist on helping me?_

_She broke the long silence first. "Sango, are you alright?" She stood up and held out her hand._

_I nodded wordlessly and ran a hand through my wet hair, pushing my bangs out of my face. "I—" I coughed once more and cleared my throat, "I think so." I then reached for her hand. She helped me to my feet, her grip strong yet soft._

_Those eyes._

Her eyes haunted me. In the best kind of way.

And I didn't know why.

Of course, we had become friends. Why wouldn't we? We were both drawn together by our shared hatred of Naraku, longing for freedom, and a mutual respect for one another as fighters. _The enemy of my enemy is my friend_ … How true the old cliché had become…

But beyond that…

I genuinely enjoyed Kagura's company. She was, ironically, stable energy; she was good conversation. Not that I had many hobbies outside of fitness, training, and related endeavors anymore, but Kagura seemed like the type of person, the type of _friend_ , who would be up for anything from just talking and sipping sake to finding some grand adventure. That could be someone worth having around when all of this was said and done and maybe, just maybe I could attempt to enjoy the remainder of my youth doing things I could only dream about in my own time that were simply expected in Kagome's.

Now that I thought about it, I had spent a great deal of my time here with Kagura; the past three days in particular. Naraku's intermittent exit gave us ample opportunity to have free range of the castle and grounds. Kanna was gone and there was no sign of the saimyosho, even, so we were basically free to do whatever we pleased. I was thankful for our time together. Even though we were both really still just captives, this short-lived illusion of freedom gave renewed life to my otherwise broken spirit.

Yesterday, I felt alive, _really_ alive, for the first time in ages. My little side quest to the waterfall with Kagura was just what I didn't know I needed. The day passed by far too fast for my liking and I now already clung to the memory like it was something sacred. I longed for another day like that and secretly hoped today would prove to be a close replica.

Kagura was happy yesterday. I smiled at the memory of her laughter and the playful look in her eyes as she taunted me and I chased her around the plunge pool. Is that what youth really felt like? Is that what I, in theory, should feel like? I felt my heart flutter at the memories of our chase in and out of the water. Somehow pleasant yet nerve-wracking anxiety…

The image of Kagura standing before me, almost naked, invaded my consciousness, and I felt my face turn red. _Kagura was still beside me but now partially disrobed. We made eye contact as the last layer of her kimonos slid off her shoulder, leaving her covered by only her underwear and chest wrap. She then untied her hair, letting her long, raven-black locks spill past her shoulders, covering her flawless pale skin. She slipped into the water and pushed gracefully off the bank with her foot. Kagura surfaced and stood nearly in the middle of the plunge pool. Her shoulders were visible, telling me that the water was not too deep at that point._

The wind demoness was gorgeous. Her pale face was perfectly symmetrical, right to her small, pointed ears; she held the kind of lawless, otherworldly beauty inherent to all human-appearing yokai. She possessed a small chin and soft jawline, accented by noticeable cheekbones. She had small, thin, eyebrows that rested above her wide, red eyes. The smallest amount of black eyeliner and mascara accented her long eyelashes and she appeared to wear trace amounts of red lipstick that highlighted her small mouth and smooth lips.

I nearly choked on my tea and mentally berated myself for my thoughts. Kagura was my _friend_ and another _girl_ regardless! So why did her beauty distract me so? And why did she intrude on my thoughts so often?

"Sango!"

_Speaking of the devil… or thinking of… the demon…_

Kagura stood in front of me, waving her hand before my eyes, breaking me out of my less than savory thoughts. I couldn't hide the dumb look on my face as I tilted my head to the side and blinked at her, completely unsure of how long she had been trying to get my attention.

"Wine, sake, or tea?" Kagura asked, gesturing toward the marbled countertop to her left, where an example of each beverage sat on display.

"Um… tea?" I wasn't too keen on alcohol at the moment, aware of its properties as unconventional 'truth serum'. That was the last thing I needed today.

"Fair enough," muttered Kagura as she began preparing extra tea for today's adventure. "I should have just packed the wine."

"We can drink later," I offered. Kagura looked at me over her shoulder, a playful glare in her eyes.

"You make me want to drink sometimes, taijiya."

"Oh, really?"

Kagura walked over to me, a confidence in her stride. She put her hands on her hips and looked down at me where I sat on the floor by the table. I looked up at her, a bit awestruck by her presence.

"You're so spacey lately. I can't quite read you."

"Is something wrong?" I felt a twinge of guilt. "Have I upset you?"

"No," answered Kagura. "Just want to make sure you're alright, is all. I will never press you for details but please always know you can tell me what's on your mind." She flashed me a caring and true smile and I couldn't help but blush a little. _Whhhyyyyy…..?_

"I'm fine, just thinking a lot," I answered and downed the remainder of my tea. Without even offering, Kagura bent down and took the empty cup from my hands. "Thank you…?"

I watched her in silence as she packed the last items for our picnic. She slung the knapsack over her shoulder and walked back over to me, offering me her hand. I took it and allowed her to help me to my feet. I stumbled slightly and fell into her.

"Careful, clumsy," laughed Kagura as she put her arms around me. I was all too aware of her touch and felt my heart rate quicken. I looked up at her and we made eye contact. She harbored a shy half-smile and her ruby eyes were filled with that unnamed mixture of emotions I had seen fleetingly before; I had to look away, feeling the threat of a blush returning to my face. I noticed she still had not let go of me and an awkward silence fell between us.

Maybe she took notice, too, as she finally released me. Her hands slid down the length of my arms and I tried not to react although the horde of butterflies was flying rampant in the pit of my stomach.

Kagura took my hand in hers, "Let's go!" She led me out of the kitchen and down the hall. I felt young and stupid as I stumbled after her, and it was amazing.

We ate lunch by the plunge pool and sipped on our tea and watched the water. The sounds of the waterfall and stream were so comforting to me.

( _But not as comforting as you…_ )

A small, teasing breeze danced past me, bringing with it the scent of cherry blossoms with the slightest hint of pine. _Kagura._

She sat beside me, close enough that I could feel her body heat. I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye. Her eyes were fixed straight ahead, watching the waterfall, deep in thought. _What are you thinking about, my dear friend?_ She looked truly peaceful at the moment and I chose not to break that precious feeling and kept my curiosity to myself.

"Care for a swim?" Kagura piped up finally and rose to her feet. I looked up at her and was greeted with her trademark smirk. "I won't pull you in this time." She winked at me and turned around, beginning to undress.

I immediately looked away, instead finding the grass beside me to be very interesting indeed. I only turned in her direction once more when I heard a loud splash and the smallest amount of water droplets gracing my skin, signifying that Kagura had jumped into the pool and was no longer an immediate danger to the growing dumpster fire that was my emotions.

Kagura was quick to swim to the surface. She shook her head and ran her hands through her long black hair. As I watched her actions, I was floored by her lawless beauty, unsure if it was intimidation, jealousy, or something else entirely. The answer to my own question came in the form of the briefest thought, wondering what she looked like completely naked. Immediately, I mentally chastised myself for my lecherous daydreaming and sure enough, karma came full circle as a splash of cold water brought a full halt to my unlawful train of thought.

"Well are you going to just sit there and stare or are you going to join me?" Kagura splashed me again.

_She fucking caught me._

And I had no words. I glared at her, embarrassed. I stood up, turned around, and began undressing myself, wishing to avoid my new pattern of wet clothing from entering water against my will. I glared over my shoulder as I let my kimono slide off my shoulders and fall to the ground, expecting Kagura to still be looking in my direction. I thought right; she hurriedly dunked herself under the water and swam away, guilty.

I approached the water and looked around for her, prepared this time for her to attack and pull me under. Another breeze brushed past me; I shivered a little and folded my arms across my chest. Kagura surfaced once more. She eyed me, a mischievous look in her eyes.

"The water is warmer…" She sent a small splash my way, hitting my legs.

I jumped back slightly. "I don't know if I believe you."

She grinned and made a bigger splash. "Coward…"

I backtracked a bit, careful not to trip. I glared at Kagura and started to run toward the pool. I jumped off the edge and hugged my knees to my chest. I held my breath and closed my eyes as I heard a loud splash and felt the cold water submerse my body. I swam to the surface and looked around for my friend.

"Ok, impressive," I heard Kagura's voice behind me and spun around. She was close. _Too close._ Suddenly, the water didn't feel as cold anymore. Kagura swam a circle around me, like a shark, before diving under and swimming away. I lost track of her once more but shrieked when I felt a hand on my ankle. I was able to swim away before I could be pulled under. I stopped halfway to the riverbank, hearing the sound of Kagura's laughter as she came up out of the water.

"What?!" I asked, turning toward her.

"I heard that underwater!" laughed Kagura. "You really thought I was going to pull you under!"

"Wouldn't be the first time!" I glared in her direction. "Like yesterday's antics…"

She slowly approached me, grace and calculation in every movement. I backed up against the river's edge, not taking my eyes off her. Kagura did not stop until she was right in front of me. I could feel my heart rate increasing and I was thankful for the slight chill in the water.

"'Yesterday's antics?'" she repeated in a delayed echo.

"You are crazy, pulling me into the pool like that…" I stated, surprisingly able to keep my voice level and cool.

The wind sorceress laughed haughtily and extended an arm above my shoulder, resting her hand on the land behind me. Her chest brushed against mine ever so slightly and I felt an instant rush of endorphins to my head. "I'm not crazy, Sango, I'm delightfully insane." There was just _something_ about the way she said my name that time… it drove me absolutely crazy. The butterflies in my stomach seemed to multiply and even the water could not cool the red heat that began to creep up my neck and rest on my cheeks. Kagura smirked at me and pushed off the bank to swim away. Her hand drifted to my shoulder as she did so, her fingertips lightly brushing my skin in her escape.

 _Was she_ flirting _with me?_

Kagura stopped about halfway across the pool. "Follow me; there's another place I want to show you!"

I followed her to the other side of the water. We climbed out and began walking up a set of smooth, flat rock formations that eventually led behind the waterfall. To my amazement, behind the waterfall was a small cave. Kagura walked inside and sat against the wall, motioning for me to come sit beside her. I joined her, still looking around in astonishment, as I slowly walked over.

"This place truly is amazing!" I commented, watching the waterfall in front of us. The sounds of the water echoing throughout the cave were so relaxing.

"Yes," said Kagura, "I love this place. I go here to escape sometimes…" She too, watched the waterfall; I could tell memories were replaying in her mind, some likely not all that pleasant.

I grabbed her hand, not even thinking twice. "Well, this is a good place to escape. I feel like this is a place of peace, like nothing could get us here."

"Indeed," agreed Kagura, giving my hand a small squeeze.

We watched the waterfall for a long time, lost in the solace of its sight, sounds, and smell; and the comfort of one another's presence. The overall peace of our surroundings was beginning to make me feel sleepy; it apparently had that effect on Kagura, too. She moved closer to me and leaned her head against my shoulder, something rather unexpected.

"Kagura…"

"Hmm?"

I was quiet, unsure whether to voice anything of my current confusion. "Nothing," I finally settled. She was soon asleep and with her slumber came the dispersing of the butterflies in my stomach. Most of them, anyway. _She must be really tired…_

What was going on with me? With us? What was she _doing_ to me? Before now, I had only ever felt any trace of youthful pining and stupidity override my logic with Miroku on the occasion, when he was [mostly] behaving and actually being a charming fool. And then there was that awkward dance with Jou a long time ago…

But still, neither of those damn boys made me fall to pieces like Kagura was beginning to. I was so confused… _Kagura is a girl, like me!_ It was not uncommon for people of the same gender to be attracted to one another, although it was not exactly encouraged. From my very limited, mostly anecdotal knowledge on courting and adult sexual matters, it was at least more accepting of women to court other women. I thought of my earlier musings comparing my own time to Kagome's futuristic world.

Almost eighteen and I was quickly becoming smitten by the beautiful wind sorceress, Kagura; the feelings making me say and do stupid things and filling my bones with anxiety.

Was there something wrong with me? I liked the boys, too… I liked Miroku…

_But Kagura is here._

"She is here…" I mused aloud, watching her sleep as she leaned against me. Her ears twitched and she moved slightly.

"Hmm?" Kagura grumbled, slowly waking.

"Sorry," I apologized, "I didn't mean to wake you up."

She moved away from me and stretched. "No need for apologies; I am sorry I fell asleep."

"Would you like to head back?" I asked her.

"Not exactly yet…" She stood up and held out her hands. I took them and she pulled me to my feet, a chivalrous action I was becoming used to. It struck my mind that I always accepted her assistance, whereas if it were Miroku, there was a seventy-thirty chance I would reject his offer. I smiled at the thought, not paying attention at all to the fact that she had not released me yet.

My attention was quickly redirected by the feeling of her hand brushing the side of my face as she relocated stray strands of hair behind my ear. We made eye contact and I swear I felt my heart stop. Her eyes were so beautiful… the most beautiful I had ever seen. An unreadable yet thoughtful expression stayed still on her face, as did her hand against my cheek and the smallest evidence of a blush on her pale features.

"Sango…" Her other hand moved from my wrist to the small of my back. She pulled me a little closer, close enough that I felt her chest and bare abdomen against mine. I froze, unsure what to do, what to expect… _what did I want to happen?_ I could not bring myself to pull away or even break our gaze. I could feel my chaotic anxiety dispersing and instead transforming into heat throughout my body, save for my rapidly beating heart.

"Kagura…" I was not sure I even said her name aloud. An unfamiliar burning sensation began to slowly pulse through my veins.

And just like that, she released me and turned to leave.

"Come on!" she called from the cave's entrance and looked over her shoulder. The smallest evidence of scarlet remained visible on her face.

I stood there, dumb, under the waterfall. This strange, tiny feeling of… disappointment… crept up in the back of my mind.

* * *

We dressed and packed up our belongings in comfortable silence. I swear I caught her watching me as I dressed, intentionally slowly; and I know she caught me doing the same to her as well.

Kagura led me through the woods on a small hike, her hand never leaving mine. I secretly enjoyed her company and the contact very much and I hung onto every word she said as she told me about the various plants and animals we passed on our little adventure. Unfortunately, due to Naraku's new barrier, we could not venture too far into the forest, but it was still a lovely time. I had always enjoyed hiking and anything outdoors, really. The thirst for adventure was something I always had since I was a child; blame it on my demon slayer blood.

About an hour into our trek, I became too comfortable and too confident in our setting. And ironically and so well-timed; right after I had just finished telling Kagura about one of my hiking adventures with Kohaku and Father… I tripped on a root, not watching where I was going. I hit a low-hanging, thin tree branch on the way down and fell flat on the forest floor.

Naturally, Kagura burst into laughter after the initial surprise had worn off.

She crouched down beside me. "Are you ok, Sango?" She was trying to stifle more laughter.

"I'm good…" I mumbled. My pride was hurt more than anything. _What the hell was with me? I'm_ never _this uncoordinated_ … I pushed myself up on my hands and knees before settling on a kneeling position. I felt a slight sting on my cheek and rubbed the source of the pain. A small smear of blood was now on the back of my hand.

"You're hurt," said Kagura. She took my face in her hands and examined the small cut.

"It's nothing," I said.

"Yeah, but still…"

"Oh, now you feel bad? You were laughing before…" Kagura looked at me, concern on her face. I stood up and cracked my knuckles.

"You better run, Kagura…" I teased, unable to hide the playful smirk on my face. I couldn't feign anger to save my life here.

"Or what?" Kagura smirked back.

"Do you really want to find out?" Two could play at this game!

Kagura took off. "You'll never catch me, slayer!" She called over her shoulder. I gave chase after her.

She was fast and I had trouble keeping up. Kagura very obviously knew these woods; she traversed every obstacle with such vigor and elegance, whereas I seemed to be dodging branches in vain and hopping over fallen logs and rocks at the last minute each time. In what little free time I had, I enjoyed running. Normally this chase would be nothing to me, but I was learning quite quickly that I was a little out of practice, my recent injuries and lack of training evident in my movements.

I chased her out of the forest and across the bridge over the koi pond. By now, I could feel a stitch in my side, intensifying at the site of my newly healed ribs. Kagura's agility was impressive and I was proud of myself as well for keeping up. She paused at the end of the bridge and reached for her fan. I pushed myself to full speed and tackled her before she could send me away with a wind gust.

We rolled a few times and our movement halted with me on top. I straddled her hips and pinned her arms over her head.

"I win." I smirked and leaned toward her face. Kagura mock-glared at me and made the slightest movement to escape. I tightened my grip on her arms and narrowed my eyes. She smiled and relaxed, turning her head toward the newborn setting sun. I looked, too.

It was beautiful.

Moments passed and I became painfully aware of our current position, after feeling Kagura shift beneath me. An unfamiliar heat began between my legs and moved through the rest of my body, ending with a maddening redness on my face. I immediately moved off her and knelt at her side, embarrassed and silently hoping she did not think twice about anything.

This time, I stood up first and offered her my hand. She took it and allowed me to help her to her feet.

This time, she stumbled into me. I caught her, steadying her stance with my hands on her shoulders.

We made eye contact again, and I felt my anxiety heighten once more. The sun's setting rays highlighted her face in a way that made her look as if she was one of the goddesses herself. The light also reflected in her eyes, the smallest hints of gold, something I had never noticed before.

_Beautiful…_

"Sango…" Kagura rested her hands on my hips and pulled me close. I could feel my heart threatening to burst from my chest. I could find no words to offer her.

"…You have the prettiest eyes…" She stole my words.

"…so do you…"

Kagura leaned closer to me, our noses now touching. Her eyes were so gorgeous… I could get lost in them… and forget the world, forget my trauma…

_Trauma…_

"Still pretty?" I asked, in barely more than a whisper.

"Still pretty…"

Kagura sealed her words with the most tender, sweet kiss that seemed to last forever. I closed my eyes, lost in the feeling of her soft lips pressed to mine, my heart swimming in emotions, my brain drowning in endorphins. It was like fireworks. I felt her hand caress my cheek and leaned into her touch. I pulled her into an embrace, trembling slightly as I felt her hands travel from my hips up my back.

We finally broke off our kiss, still holding onto one another. My heart was racing, my mind in ruins.

_She kissed me._

_"Kagura…"_ I couldn't take my eyes off hers. A blush matching that of mine stained her cheeks and she seemed as much at a loss for words as I was. _That was… a lot._

I did not mind.

Part of me wanted her to kiss me again.

We walked back to the castle, hand in hand, as if nothing happened.


	15. Chapter Fourteen: Dream State

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: "Dream State" by Kozah]

The sun was setting on another somehow perfect day. As perfect as my days could be anymore, anyway. Relative freedom was its own escape. What in the hell was going through my mind these past few days? What was happening to me? I knew what had happened to me… I directed my thoughts toward the present, grounding myself in the twilight and the cooling air of approaching dusk. I was hyper aware of Kagura's body heat next to me. I wasn't sure if it was just me or if she felt it too, but maybe it's just me…

Today had been another blessing in disguise. Naraku was still away with Kanna, Rouge and Kohaku. They would be gone for another two days after tonight. I cherished the time I had to be free of him for the time being and I would be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying my time with Kagura. I was still very confused over what had transpired between us yesterday evening. Never in a million years would I have ever thought of doing that!

_It was just a kiss._

At first. I could still vividly remember the feeling of her arms around me, hands traveling my body yet still avoiding anywhere inappropriate. The softness and care of her touch… I found heat rushing to my cheeks at the thought and was thankful for the slight breeze. I focused on the sunset in front of me, in front of us.

"It's beautiful," I mused aloud, attempting to break this unspoken tension that I swear existed.

"Indeed, it is…" Kagura agreed. On a hunch, I turned to look at her. As I did so, she had quickly redirected her gaze to the natural marvel in front of us, off in the distance. A slight blush appeared on her pale face and she shifted a little. I felt her leg brush against mine and felt a flutter in my chest. "Sorry," she apologized, looking down between us and then up to meet my eyes.

Was it everything that had happened to me? Was it my brain playing tricks on me and the trauma warping my mind and heart? I was very troubled. I enjoyed the past few days with Kagura quite a bit; we had a lot more in common than I ever would have guessed and somehow it felt like I had known her forever. She treated my injuries and offered reassurance. She was a surprise comfort I had found amid my plight here. I guess it makes sense that we would at least become friends, especially after learning that she was on our side…

But why the _other_ feelings, beyond that of camaraderie? Since we had been spending time together after Naraku had left, I had grown fond of the wind demon. Something changed over the past two days in particular, though, starting with stolen glances and secret smiles. I'd swear she was flirting with me at times; whether she was aware of that or not, I had no clue. And I flirted back. She made me feel some type of way that I had only experienced in passing, mostly with Miroku (minus the groping and slapping).

Over the past three days, I had begun to feel anxious around her… in a good way? Butterflies had moved into my stomach, making me feel and act like a fool.

Our day had started with a small breakfast and tea Kagura had prepared and brought to me in her quarters. Afterward, we explored the castle grounds and small edges of the forest within the barrier Naraku had constructed. Our real adventure began with a chase through the woods and ensuing play battle, similar to the previous day's. We went to the waterfall cave and swam in the plunge pool there, just as the day before. I caught her eyes on me a few times and noticed she would go out of her way to swim as close to me as possible and then dart away, giving me this playful, almost teasing look as she did so. Naturally, I was a nervous wreck that whole time. Again, similar to yesterday but more intense…

"What are you thinking about, Sango?" Kagura interrupted my reverie and I turned to look at her, my mind still hazed with my reminiscing of the day's events.

"Just… well…" I had to say something. I just didn't know if I had the words… I looked away from her and nervously rubbed the back of my neck.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," said Kagura. Out of my peripheral vision, I could see her turn her head back towards the setting sun. "You never have to explain yourself to me. Or anyone, really." I felt the energy around us calm a little.

"Well…." It's now or never. "I-I'm just… confused…" I stammered, feeling my face turning red and fighting hard with my nerves to appear calm and collected.

"Confused?" She turned to look at me. That didn't help my case at all.

"Yes… about yesterday, I—"

"No," she interrupted, " _I_ want to apologize. I shouldn't have done that. It wasn't right of me. I am sorry."

I blinked, feeling the smallest flicker of, what was that— _hurt_? "Don't be…"

"Sango, you've been through a lot lately. _Too much,_ actually—"

"No, screw that, why?"

"Why what?"

" _Why_ did you do it, then?"

I caught her off guard and her eyes widened. She had a response for everything, typically.

"Kagura, _why did you kiss me_?" I grew bolder, feeling a knot of emotions in my stomach. "What the hell _are_ we, anyway? What is _this_?" I then realized I was terrified of the answer.

"You know I've never had much contact with anyone short of Naraku, Kanna, your brother, and you and your friends in battle…Hell, I've never even kissed anyone before yesterday, besides… you know…" She trailed off and anxiously began wringing her hands in her lap.

"I thought you liked Sesshomaru?"

"I do…" Kagura sighed. "I'm confused, too, Sango. I've always admired him from a distance. And would I go with him if he were to show up right now and take me away from here? Yes, I would… but that is… unlikely. A foolish pipe dream of a stupid girl pretending to want to be saved…"

"It's not stupid." The tension grew between us once more, doing nothing to soothe the ball of anxiety growing inside me.

"And what of you and the monk?" Kagura asked.

I had not thought too much about him in all this, as of late. Did I love him? Yes, very much. Did I miss him? Absolutely. We were something, alright. I even let him kiss me once. Although, I was very unsure if he knew I harbored actual feelings for him; I tried to keep that very well hidden and locked up, safe from his behaviors and safe from letting my guard down and getting my heart broken. Even though my heart still broke every time he approached all the village girls in our travels, taking their hands and asking that trademark question of his.

I felt tears in my eyes. If there had been anything real growing between Miroku and I, it would surely dissipate quickly once he learned what happened to me. I was tainted. He would be out of his mind to desire me after what I had been through. As lecherous as he was, he had a good heart and the best intentions. A good man, and a holy one such as him, deserved better than me. I was weak and I let our sworn enemy lay his hands on me. I wasn't strong enough… My thoughts began to drift towards the darkest recesses of my mind, where I was trying to lock away my most recent trauma.

"Sango…" I felt Kagura's hand caress the side of my face and I instinctually leaned into her touch. She brought me safely back to the present. I sniffled and my breath hitched as I tried to stop the tears. I opened my eyes as I felt her fingertips gently brushing my tears away.

She had the most beautiful eyes. The deepest ruby with hints of gold, accented by the setting sun in our background. I could feel her red gazing into my brown, seeing the depths of my tortured soul through my irises. I felt so exposed.

Time stopped and I thought my heart might too. I finally broke our stare and stole a glance at her lips, small and half open in this mixture of sympathy and surprise adorning her face. I closed my eyes and leaned toward her, pressing my lips to hers. She returned the kiss, her lips soft and sweet, just like yesterday. I felt her free hand on my arm and I could tell she had moved slightly closer to me.

We broke the kiss, keeping the space between us to a minimal. I opened my eyes only to be met with hers, this rush of emotion evident in her pools of ruby. My face felt like it was on fire, my heart was racing, and I felt the fire spreading throughout my whole body, pooling in my stomach and chest.

Breathing heavily, I boldly put my arms around her shoulders and kissed her once more. She returned the kiss, her hand moving from my face to the back of my head to run her fingers through my hair to undo my ponytail. I pushed myself against her, feeling her slightly larger chest against mine. Although clothed, the contact sent electricity coursing through my veins and intensified this new feeling of desire that was building inside me.

Heart racing, I decided to deepen our kiss, brushing my tongue against her lips. She allowed my entrance and I couldn't stop the moan from escaping me as I felt our tongues entwined in a primal dance. She pulled gently at my hair with one hand, the other moving from my arm to the middle of my back, pulling me even closer. I grabbed onto her shoulders, beginning to lose my concentration. I wanted so badly to explore her body with my own hands but was losing myself in the sensation of hers all over me, still yet to travel anywhere questionable. She pulled my hair a little harder and then let go to allow her hand to rest on my hip. I could feel her grip tighten for a moment and involuntarily tensed.

Kagura broke our kiss, noticing my sudden movement. I gasped for air and opened my eyes, my hands still never leaving her shoulders. She slowly let go of me and began to back away. "I'm sorry…"

I shifted to my knees and leaned closer to her once more, desire taking over me. "Don't be." My heart was still pounding in my chest, butterflies about to burst in my stomach, but I felt just enough of this newfound confidence to move my hand to caress her cheek and lean in for another kiss. I felt her hand return to my shoulders, soon shifting attention to my back. She licked my lips and I opened my mouth, inviting her back in. She tasted so sweet and I was intoxicated by the feeling of her tongue exploring my mouth. I felt her nails drag down my back through my clothing and held my breath, pushing myself further against her. Without breaking our kiss, I moved my hands from her shoulders to her chest, feeling her breasts through the layers of her kimono. She moaned into my kiss and pushed her body into me. I allowed myself to give her chest a gentle squeeze and I felt her grip my shoulder a little rougher.

Her teeth grazed my lower lip as she pulled back from my mouth just to plant gentle kisses along my jawline. I grabbed her shoulders tightly, new feelings of pleasure beginning to cloud my mind. She kissed the side of my neck, sucking on my tender flesh momentarily. I exhaled sharply and dug my nails into her shoulders. She placed her hands on my shoulders and turned her attention back to my mouth. Our tongues danced yet again and I felt her carefully pulling at the collar of my kimono, slightly exposing my clavicle and right shoulder. I cursed myself in my thoughts as I tensed at the feeling of the breeze caressing my sensitive skin.

"Is this ok?" Kagura asked me in little more than a whisper.

"Yes," I breathed, squeezing my eyes shut.

Kagura marked my exposed collarbone with a soft kiss that soon turned into a gentle nip. I bit back a moan, feeling heat rushing to my face from my chest and neck. She left a trail of kisses across my clavicle, tugging at the fabric on my left shoulder. I shrugged it off enough so that she had access to my skin and reveled in these new feelings she was sparking in me.

I needed more. There was a fire burning inside of me that would not be satisfied until I could feel her bare skin against mine. A fear still also existed, my traumas with Naraku unconsciously embedded in my nervous system, involuntarily making me question the slightest contact. The care and respect with which the wind sorceress touched me was quick to make me forget this fear, however. The unwanted feeling became smaller and smaller as my desire grew with the electricity coursing through my veins.

Kagura's lips met mine once more and I grabbed the front of her kimono, silently requesting permission to go further. She pulled away from me long enough to shed the outermost layer of her clothing and immediately resumed our passion. She slowly leaned back, pulling me with her, never pausing our kiss.

Kagura gently pushed her knee between my legs as I lay on top of her, hands traveling her body. I parted my legs, feeling a growing heat between them. This was all new to me, I consciously had no clue what I was doing, letting instinct guide me to do what felt natural. She put her hands on my back and guided me closer to her still. My contact increased with her thigh between my legs and I shivered at the sensation, even through my clothing.

She pulled away from me, her hands relaxing on my hips. I opened my eyes and saw concern laced into the passion burning in her ruby irises. Breathing heavily, I ran a hand through my hair and looked away from her. Realization hit me for a moment, surfacing from the ocean of desire that had consumed me. My body was doing what _I_ wanted. _I_ was in control. This insight just further confirmed my feelings.

_I wanted this._

I looked back to Kagura, who blinked in confusion. Shaking slightly, I slowly untied the obi on my kimono and shrugged the fabric off my shoulders. Heart racing, insecurities threatening me at the back of my mind, I began to unwrap my breast bindings.

"Sango—" Her face turned a shade of red rivaling that of her eyes.

"I _want_ this, Kagura." My words came out more confident than I was expecting. I wasn't even sure if I sounded like myself.

I let the bindings fall beside me and leaned toward Kagura once more, one hand on her shoulder, the other on her hip. She put her hands on mine. "Wait." She tugged at the neckline of her last layer of clothing and I backed away so she could free herself of it, discarding her own bindings shortly after.

I couldn't help but stare at her beauty. Her pale skin shone in the new moonlight like flawless porcelain, betraying any notion that she had ever even seen battle or fallen to Naraku's abuse herself. Her breasts were larger than my own and she had a more shapely, adult figure than me, despite being chronologically younger. I felt a sliver of self-consciousness hit me, knowing my own body was not as attractive as hers, even if I didn't have my current injuries. I had smaller breasts, softer curves, broader shoulders, and I was thin yet toned from years of battle and training. I always held an insecurity about my body, while I was never preoccupied with catching the attention of men; I knew while I was pretty, I was less than the feminine ideal.

"Hey," Kagura said, leaning toward me and gently cupping my chin in her hand. "You're beautiful."

I blushed madly, crossing my arms protectively over my chest. She sat up and grabbed my upper arms. She leaned in and rested her forehead against mine, her eyes boring into my soul, her mouth mere centimeters from mine. I could feel her warm breath against my lips and the self-doubt was beginning to become replaced with burning desire once more. The look in her eyes told me she sensed my insecurities. Kagura brought her hand back to the side of my face, her thumb lightly tracing the newest cut on my right cheek. _"Still pretty."_ Her scent—cherry blossoms and pine—intoxicated me further, memories of comfort attached to the smell.

She guided my arms to my sides and placed a soft kiss on my lips before turning her attention to my neck. I gasped and then held my breath as she left another love mark near my collarbone and placed her hands on my breasts. I tensed at the initial touch and closed my eyes. "Is this ok?" She asked once more. I no longer had words and just nodded my head in silent consent. Her concern for my comfort made me both want to jump her bones even more and cry at the same time.

Kagura laid me down on the ground before resuming our lovemaking with a passionate kiss and her hands massaging my breasts. I was having trouble focusing on anything beside her attention; somehow I managed to untie her hair and pull at it, earning a small moan from her. She pushed her knee between my legs and I could not help but to rub myself against her thigh. The sensation was pure bliss of a kind I have never experienced, especially when I felt her do the same against me. Her hands moved from my chest to my wrists, holding my hands above my head and our tongues danced yet again, building the electricity within me even more. I could feel the growing heat move from my stomach to my lower abdomen, culminating between my legs. I craved more than this.

I pulled my right hand free of her grip and slid it between us, fireworks exploding in my soul as I felt my hand brush against her abdomen. I pulled at the waistband of my underwear, wishing to be rid of that last article of clothing. Kagura's hand met mine. "Are you sure?" She asked, looking at me, her eyes burning with desire but still evident were flecks of concern. Proof that should I want to stop here, she would do so. But I didn't want to stop. I grabbed her hand and, shaking, pressed it between my legs. We both shivered at the contact. She applied pressure of her own accord and began slowly rubbing me through the fabric. I groaned, closed my eyes, and gripped her shoulders tight, digging my nails into her fair skin.

Kagura leaned toward me and nipped at my collarbone ever so gently. I cried out, unable to contain myself this time. After a few moments, this was too much; my brain was overcome with passion and related endorphins. I moved my hand between us once more and tugged at her waistband. I needed to feel her, all of her. She gave a small nod of understanding and broke our contact so that she could discard her last barrier. I took the time to rid myself of mine as well.

I looked at her, emotions clouding my eyes, as I took in her naked beauty. She put one hand on my shoulder, the other on my hip and lowered me back to the ground. "Sango," she spoke low, "are you sure you want this?"

"Yes," I breathed, not taking my eyes off hers, "I do."

"Ok," She returned her hand to my hips and parted my legs with hers. That action alone sent sparks throughout my being. I put my hands on her shoulders, gripping tightly, ready to give myself to her.

A sliver of fear hit me one final time and I spoke up, "Kagura, I—I've never done this before… not really—"

She leaned forward and kissed me on the forehead, then on the lips. "That makes two of us," she said shyly. She pulled away and positioned herself between my legs. I could feel her heat against my own, the feeling more intoxicating than any drug or alcohol. I spread my legs as far I could comfortably manage and she arched herself against me. I cried out in pure ecstasy as I felt her warmth meet mine. I felt a throbbing ache at my core and pushed my hips against her, needing contact. She let out a small moan herself and began rocking against me.

We quickly found a rhythm and I arched my back, grinding my hips against hers. I dug my nails into her back and felt her do the same as she held me closer. I moaned loudly, feeling her slip her hand between us, parting her lower lips to provide more contact. I felt her swollen sex brush against mine and that was almost too much for me. I could feel the intensity in my lower body growing at an alarming rate, my heart rate climbing as Kagura pushed herself into me. The ache in my hardened nub increased until I felt this wave of pleasure begin to consume me. This was like a dream. One of those falling dreams, maybe…

"K-Kagura—" I gasped out her name, feeling myself begin to come undone.

"Say my name again, my dear," she barely breathed out in a sultry voice.

I cried out her name as my release hit me like a wave of pleasure washing over my being. My body shook and I moaned into her shoulder as she continued to push herself against me, finally reaching her own peak. I felt her claws dig into my back as she rode out her orgasm, sending me into several smaller ones.

Breathing heavily, she laid on top of me. My heart was still pounding in my chest and I wasn't even sure if my eyes were open or closed; either way I was seeing stars. My body was still shaking with the aftershock of my first orgasm. I then felt her lips brush against mine in a tender kiss and I managed to open my eyes after she had pulled away.

A shy smile adorned her features and she glanced at me, a well of emotion in her eyes. "How do you feel?"

I still was having trouble finding words. I closed my eyes, feeling a blush forming on my chest and creeping up my neck and onto my face. "Like I just died and came back to life." I covered my eyes with my forearm. My other arm lay at my side. My muscles did not want to work currently.

Kagura took my limp hand in hers and gave it a small squeeze. "'The little death'…" She slid off me and laid on her back. She glanced up at the stars and then back at me, that cute abashed smile still on her face. I took note of how the moonlight and resulting shadows lent itself well to highlighting her somewhat angular facial features and soft jawline. I crawled over to her and put my arm around her chest and shoulders. She put her arm around me protectively, before reaching around us, grasping for something.

Kagura managed to find and grab the outer layer of her kimono and cover us with it like a blanket. I rested my head on her chest, letting the feeling and sound of her steady breathing bring me back down from my heightened senses. She held me and kissed the top of my head. The electricity in my veins was finally subsiding but everything was still so sensitive, particularly my chest and pelvic area. I felt Kagura's hand rubbing small, slow circles on my back and I closed my eyes. _Still dreaming…_

I didn't know what would happen to me or to us. I no longer knew what the future held. But I found solace in the arms of the wind sorceress and I felt connected to her in a way that I couldn't describe; a bond that I had never experienced and probably would never experience again. I felt so comfortable, so safe, in her arms. Her touch was like a drug that both overwhelmed me and gave me strength to fight once more.

I hated the idea of needing protection. I was the protector. I was the guardian. I was the warrior, the soldier. I was slowly accepting the sore fact that I needed protection here and I was relieved that she would be the one to provide it. I felt comfortable with her as my protector and I vowed silently to defend her as well, if and when the need arises.

As I fought off sleep, I was satisfied with what had happened between us. I had no regrets about sharing myself with her in the most intimate way. I felt content to be here in this moment, with her, in her arms.

If this indeed was a dream, I was not so sure I wanted to wake up.


	16. Chapter Fifteen: Sleepwalker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: "Lost-n-Found (On A Roll)" by Issues]

_"Dance of blades!"_

I hit the ground hard enough to almost knock the wind of out of my lungs. The sharp winds blew right over my head as I ducked down as far as I could go. I covered my head with my hands and stayed still until I heard hurried footsteps approaching. I rolled out of the way and quickly got to my feet and took off in a brisk run headed right for my attacker. Unsheathing my sword, I lunged at her; surprisingly, she stopped my sword with a seemingly ornamental fan, snapped shut. With a flick of her wrist, my sword slipped and she then took the time to send a small gust of wind my way. The force was enough to disarm me and push me into a wall.

The rough stone dug into my back through my clothes as I attempted to catch my breath. Before I could make a break for my weapon, Kagura was directly in front of me. She held up her fan by one side and let it fall open in front of my face, smiling evilly as she did so. The blood came rushing back to my limbs and I made a move to snatch her weapon. She was quick to snap it shut and jump back, quickly sending more wind in my direction, effectively forcing me back against the wall once more and briefly stealing my breath.

Just like that, she had me pinned to the wall, one arm behind my back, the other held over my head. I struggled and pushed back against her, almost making her move. She tightened her grip and leaned in close enough for me to feel her warm breath against my neck as she whispered in my ear. "…Is that it?"

I shuddered and gritted my teeth, closing my eyes and refusing to look at her. This was quickly becoming a less than fair fight. My strength was coming back but my agility was still subpar.

"It's whatever you want it to be," I finally answered back, fatigue evident in my gruff words.

The wind demon's grip on my wrist tightened even more and I could feel a small bone pop, along with the pressure from her other arm across my neck. I opened my eyes, my vision narrowed and blurry, only to be met with her pale, beautiful, smirking face. She leaned into me, putting all her weight against my body. "Your strength is returning…"

My heart raced with adrenaline and something else entirely. I mustered the last bit of my strength and managed to break her hold, shoulder checking her as I broke free. She stumbled backward and I immediately pounced on her, effectively pinning her to the ground in seconds flat.

Our wide eyes met and I wasn't sure what to do next. I knew the battle was over, though.

* * *

I slowly pushed my arms through the sleeves of my kimono, one at a time, taking due notice in the mirror before me of the small bruise-like marks on the side of my neck and across my clavicle and shoulders in various places. I blushed and could not help the small smile that formed on my face. Kagura and I went for a walk through the forest perimeter this morning and spent the afternoon sparring. It was my idea; I wanted to be ready for when Naraku and the others returned. I wanted to be ready when we had a solid plan of attack. Kagura was hesitant to fight me at all, even if it was just a simple sparring match; she did not wish to harm me.

Neither of us had planned on the sex. This time, or last night. Especially last night. My mind was still in shambles over it. I didn't even know such a thing was possible between two women. But, she had reach, and I had flexibility… Heat rushed to my cheeks at the simple memories of our actions.

Our union was not one born out of simple loneliness and lust. There was a connection there, something that happened so spontaneously and not just because it was expected. And it was something I never expected to do, let alone think about after what Naraku had done to me. My nervous system betrayed me at the lightest caress just days ago and today I found myself welcoming Kagura's touch and not just in a sexual way. A safety existed in her arms, warmth in her caress; and she made me feel beautiful for the first time in my life, even before the battles, grieving, and abuse.

I didn't know how long it would last. How temporary were we? What were we, even? I asked that very question last night and the physical response I received was the experience of pleasure as a glimpse of paradise created by two young tortured souls and repressed hormones. Kagura was my friend; my beautiful, sweetest friend. She was someone to protect that did not need protection; she was a blessing in disguise and fittingly so, a second wind.

Fully dressed now, I leaned toward my reflection in the mirror and pulled the collar of my kimono to the side, examining my latest battle scars one final time, an odd sense of pride filling my chest. I guess I left my modesty at the door. Or more likely, back at the waterfall last night. I still was not sure what to feel about us in the grand scheme of things. I was happy, all things considered; happy to have found a kindred spirit and a friend in the least likely of places.

_Friend…_

_Girlfriend?_ The word felt strange floating around my jumbled thoughts. Was she? Would she be? _Should_ she be? What about when we finally left here? Are we going to leave here? _I hope so…_

_What about when we left here? What about after we finally escape?_

I didn't know. I could no longer think that far ahead. My future was certainly not something set in stone, it seemed.

I stole a glance over my shoulder at the wind sorceress as she dressed. My own nail marks were still visible on her pale shoulder blade as she covered herself, none the wiser to my observation. That strange feeling of pride returned, accompanied by a small spark of confidence.

She had let me take myself back, ironically by consenting to giving myself to her. I did not feel tainted when I was with her. Still, it did not change the fact that I had lost my innocence in the worst way, and to my sworn enemy; I would never get that part of me back. And nothing was the same, nor would it ever be. But I had a second chance to share myself willingly with someone who genuinely cared whether I was alive and breathing. That was redemption enough, I guess.

"You fought well today, Sango," said Kagura, looking to me from the doorway.

I flashed her a shy smile and then followed her out of the washroom. She sat down on her bed and patted the space beside her in a silent gesture to join. I complied and she put her arm around my shoulders. I leaned against her shoulder and closed my eyes. I briefly imagined what it would be like to escape from here and run far away.

This place was a symbol to me of all my past traumas and regrets. Every mistake I'd made, every fall I'd taken. _Naraku's castle_ … The place where it all started. Even if this was just another copy... Everything was taken from me here. A place of trickery and deception. Poison and madness. This was the closest to hell that I'd ever be, assuming one day I would be forgiven for my bitterness and all the lives I have taken, even if they did deserve death at the time, even if it was for survival. I spend my days fighting off my bad luck.

So, what if we should escape? The idea brought me mixed emotions. I wanted nothing more than to be free and reunited with my friends, my new family. I wanted nothing more than to take Kohaku and Kagura and get as far away from here as possible. What about Rouge? What about Kanna? Would they prefer servitude? Would they prefer chains, still, if given the opportunity to break free? Kanna, I was not so sure about. Rouge, on the other hand, maybe she would join us...

What about Miroku, Inuyasha, and Kagome? Kirara and Shippo? What would they think? Will they accept Kagura as their sister-in-arms once they learn where her loyalties do not actually lie? Will she even want to join us? Maybe she would stray and join up with Sesshomaru eventually…

That last thought made my heart hurt a little. I didn't want her to go.

But what about Miroku?

He still made me smile. The memory of my first kiss, something I _did_ get to share with him, played over in my mind in vivid detail. I could still smell the food from the village celebration during that night and hear the fireworks.

_Fireworks._

Kagura's kiss was also like fireworks.

I never knew if I had intent to sleep with Miroku or not. The thought crossed my mind a few times but it was something I quickly whisked away each time; his advances were brash and tactless, resulting in a well-earned slap with every unlawful grope. Should he have developed more discretion and sensitivity, _maybe_ I would have eventually given myself up to him. Maybe that was the plan, one day, a long time ago. In a future I would not have.

Maybe I would have loved him.

Hell, I _did_ love him. But he would never know. How did I love him, though? Was I so sure? I at least loved him as a friend, but secretly pined after him and tried in vain to hide my jealousy when random village girls were the targets of his affection. Sometimes his intentions were not so clear, his true feelings a mystery to me; so, I kept to myself and would not dare voice it aloud to anyone, even myself, that he was anything more than a friend.

At least Kagura made her feelings known.

But did I love her?

I could not say. I had known her for so short a period of time, especially in this capacity. It's been, what, almost a month since I'd been trapped here? My sense of time perception was not all that great these days. Did Kagura love me? I knew at least she cared for me and she respected me as a person, a friend, and a warrior.

There was some kind of heathen chemistry between Kagura and I; probably always had been. I felt like I had known her forever somehow, but then again… where had she been all of my life? What of this connection? Will it be fleeting and dissipate once we left here? What if it doesn't?

What if we escape on our own? What if we can't find the others? What if we don't break this off? What if they do not approve? These hypotheticals gave me the tiniest burst of anxiety; my heart rate increased a little.

_The world is a big place and I don't have anywhere left to go…_

I imagined once more the castle in flames, the barrier down, while I flew off into the night with Kagura on her feather, my arms wrapped around her waist…

_So, take me on a roll…_

"You ok?" asked Kagura.

"Hmm?"

"You're tense all of a sudden. I can feel it." She positioned herself behind me and put her hands on my shoulders.

I bowed my head. "Just thinking…"

"About…?"

"What happens when we leave here?"

"We'll be free."

"Obviously…"

Kagura began a slow massage of my neck and shoulders. The tension I didn't know I was holding immediately began to dissipate. The butterflies in my stomach, however, still fluttered teasingly here and there. I rolled my head, cracking small bones in my neck while Kagura slowly rubbed out the remaining knots in my sore muscles.

"You'll come with us, right?" I asked.

"That's a stupid question," said Kagura. She gripped my shoulders a little rougher than I anticipated, kneading my flesh through my kimono with her small hands. "Of course, I'll go with you. You and your friends are formidable allies. It makes sense." Her motions stopped. I stretched and turned to look at her.

"Will you stay with us?" I asked, trying to keep my voice level. I did not like the way my emotions were swinging unpredictably from renewed confidence in myself to some stupid fear of her abandonment ( _and abandonment in general, really…_ ).

"As long as you all will have me," answered Kagura. " _If_ they will have me, that is…"

"Well, they accepted _me_ into their ranks…" I said, remembering how I met Inuyasha and his small pack. That was a mess.

"Yes, but you were tricked by Naraku. I _worked_ for him and was born of his flesh…" Kagura did not sound so sure.

"They'll accept you. They have to…" A small fear of mine remained that they wouldn't, understandably so. But they didn't know her like I did now…

Kagura seemed to sense my apprehension. "Let's not worry about that now. Take everything one day at a time." She offered me a sincere smile, warmth apparent in her beautiful ruby eyes. She took my hands in hers.

Naraku would be back in just over a day.

That thought made my stomach turn. It ignited a fear in me, a fear sparked by every memory I wish I didn't have. However, the urge to run away was slowly becoming replaced with an anger and renewed desire to fight. I would fight for not only Kohaku and myself, I would fight for Kagura as well. I would not leave this godforsaken place without each of them at my side. Rouge and Kanna if they obliged… but my brother and my friend were priority.

"I'm not leaving here without you," I voiced aloud.

"Hmm?" Kagura looked to me. We locked eyes and I squeezed her hands tight, as if she would slip away from me any moment and disappear like the wind itself.

I almost felt like I did as a child, when I officially entered the ranks of the demon slayers. Unknown, uncharted ground laid before me. Excitement dancing dangerously with anxiety flooded my senses. We would not go down without a fight; _I would never stop fighting._

Not until my brother was free.

Not until Kagura was free.

Not until I was free.

I climbed off the bed and stood up. "I'll be right back…"

I re-entered the room, closing the door quietly behind me. I stood before Kagura and pulled a large kitchen knife from my sleeve.

"Where did you get that?" Kagura asked me, a curious expression on her face.

"I got it last night when I brought us dinner."

"And what do you plan on doing with that?" She took a few steps toward me, no doubt suspicious of my intent from learned experience.

"I'm going to get us out of here." The words came out more confident than I felt.

"With _that_?" I almost laughed at her reaction.

I examined the domestic blade, turning it over in my hands and running my fingertips lightly over the teeth. "It used to be a custom among my people that before a major battle—one where the odds of winning were astronomically low—we would take blood oaths with our brothers- and sisters-in-arms." I cut open my palm and held it out to her. My blood never felt warm as warm as I'd expected, for whatever reason.

"You're my friend. You've helped me in so many ways when it very well could have cost you your own life at times." She looked at me, stunned, blinking her pretty ruby eyes. I took a breath and mustered up the last of my confidence. "I'm not leaving this place without you at my side."

She eyed the blade and my bloodied hand and then rolled up her sleeve. She serrated the palm of her right hand in one swift cut. Startled, she gasped and dropped the knife. She finally grabbed my outreached hand and squeezed it tight. I looked into her eyes and felt this strange sense of pride. I know I was the wounded one but should it still not be my duty to protect? Protect her as much as I could, as she had tried to protect me. I spent my whole life becoming a warrior, a guardian. A barricade to the innocent and a shield to my comrades in arms.

"We will get out of here. We are going to win. And then this will all be over and we'll be better off for it." If I wasn't telling this to her in particular, I would never have believed my own words.


	17. Chapter Sixteen: Children Learning the Secret Knock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: "Skrying" by Mudvayne]

_[Kagura's point of view.]_

Our last day together without Naraku passed by far too quickly for my liking. Or hers, I could say as well. Sango awoke that morning from a very fitful, restless sleep; nightmares plagued her soul. She was stricken by such panic and could not fall back to sleep. I was able to prepare her some tea and a sleeping poultice that helped a little but she still did not rest well.

Sango was scared to be in pain again. She was sad that her injuries had mostly healed by now, likely all for naught. She was afraid he would see the marks I left on her. She was terrified of what he would do if he saw her self-inflicted wounds on her arms. Sango was scared her brother would not be returning with the group.

Naraku returned early that afternoon. We did not offer him and the others a welcoming party of any sorts, so he spontaneously created one of his own which consisted of sicking Rouge on both of us. We won that fight, despite Rouge branding each of us with a newly acquired blade and complimentary fireball. If I wasn't mistaken, Rouge did not fight us as vigorously as she had in the past, especially Sango. I wondered if it had to do with Sango's apparent resemblance to Rouge's deceased sister, Ami.

Rouge did not hold back from me at all and as a result, I'd claimed many burns that afternoon. Rouge faltered, however, when Sango came to my defense. The taijiya was able to pierce the bitch's shoulder with a katana. While she was distracted, I escaped and created a small tornado. Unfortunately, the tornado ended up claiming both Rouge and Sango, who fought within it. The tornado soon caught fire from one of Rouge's poorly placed fireballs and luckily I was able to redirect the small twister to the koi pond where it was doused and eliminated.

Satisfied with the show, Naraku was actually the one who pulled both of them from the water. As expected, he was less careful with Sango, roughly pushing her to the ground once she was on land. He simply dropped Rouge's unconscious form on the bridge and pulled the katana out of her shoulder. As I approached, Naraku quickly turned the blade on me and ordered me to "clean her up", motioning toward Rouge. Sango tried to tag along with me while I tended to Rouge's injuries but Naraku stopped her, instead taking her with him.

The next time I saw Sango, she was being shoved through my doorway by Naraku. "Here, take your demon slayer back, Kagura." She hit the floor, landing on her hands and knees, breathing heavily and shaking. Naraku sneered, "keep a better eye on her. She's no good to me dead. The little bitch apparently enjoys flirting with suicide. Can't imagine why."

I could not get a good look at my friend just yet but from what I could tell, she had several fresh cuts on her arms; there was no way those were self-inflicted. Sango briefly looked up at me, still keeping her head low. I glimpsed a black eye and two small cuts on her nose and chin.

Naraku produced a small silver blade and without any warning threw it at me like it was a shuriken star. I dodged the attack just in time, hearing the sound of the dagger lodging itself in the wall behind me. Blood dripped down the wall from the weapon; the handle was also a lovely shade of crimson to match.

"Make sure that finds its way back to its rightful owner, as well. Our taijiya guest also appears to have a penchant for thievery…" My hanyou sire held up his bloodied hand and wiped the substance on his kimono. I noticed there was a fresh stab wound in his shoulder. _Thatta girl, Sango…_ It was hard to hide the grin that was threatening to appear on my face upon my realization that she had not only managed to somehow steal Rouge's new dagger; she also managed to assault Naraku with it as well.

Naraku looked from Sango to me, crimson eyes narrowed. "At midnight, I want you to bring a horde of yokai to Inuyasha, my treat. He's getting too close to our new abode for my liking."

"But, _sir_ , I thought you _wanted_ him to find us at some point…" I said, questioning his statement and remembering his loose plan to use Sango to lure Inuyasha and the others here. I theorized that he would likely try to separate their group further and take another captive if possible. Or just use Rouge to kill someone off. She could be a bloodthirsty monster, it seemed.

"I do, Kagura, just not right now…" Something was off… _Hmm…_ "Deal with her and then make your preparations." He shot me one last distrustful glance before sliding the door shut. On his way out, I noticed another well-positioned wound and bloody smear on his back. I allowed myself to smile finally, very proud of Sango's actions against our abuser.

"That motherfucker…" I muttered, finally making my way over to Sango. I crouched down beside her and put my hand on her back. She flinched and ducked her head at the contact. My metaphorical heart broke at the sight.

"…I got him once, for you…" Sango stated, a slight tremor in her voice. I looked to the door, trying to judge if Naraku had left or if there was a chance he was still lurking. My paranoia got the better of me and I actually went to check. All clear. I returned to Sango's side and carefully pulled her into an embrace.

"I'm proud of you, my dear…" I ran my hand through her hair and she buried her face in my shoulder, crying silently.

"I still wasn't strong enough…" she mumbled her words of defeat against me.

"But you still got him a few times," I couldn't help but smile a little. "Looks like you fucked him up pretty good."

Sango finally pulled away and wiped her eyes. A weak laugh escaped her. "I stabbed him twice… caught him off guard. I don't think he expected me to have a weapon…" As she lowered her hands, I saw the extent of her injuries. In addition to the black eye and cuts, fresh bruises were also present on the right side of her face and around her neck. "…I sliced him up pretty badly before he disarmed me…"

"What did he do to you…?" I could feel anger rising in my chest. I had a feeling Naraku did not take too kindly to her surprise attack.

The taijiya looked away from me, tears welling in her gorgeous brown eyes once more. "He was not thrilled about my retaliation…" She took a deep breath. "I think he was even more upset when he saw my arms…" I took her hands in mine and examined her forearms. The bandages were gone, revealing the prominent red scabbing leftover from her attempt on her life. New cuts and bruises also peppered her fair skin like some kind of sick masterpiece.

"Kagura," said Sango, her voice breaking, "I fought him until I couldn't fight anymore… It wasn't enough!"

I slowly stood up, bringing her with me. I held her for a moment before walking her into the bathroom so I could draw her a bath and begin tending to her injuries. As I laid out the medical supplies, I caught a glimpse of Sango as she undressed. Her wounds were more severe than she led me to believe, as she was still able to walk with little assistance.

Sango had several thin lacerations on her back, chest, and legs. Deep maroon bruising was present around her neck, leading me to believe Naraku had at least attempted to choke her at some point. The skin on her left shoulder and surrounding areas was burned quite badly from our fight with Rouge earlier. I felt a twinge of guilt; I had also been subjected to Rouge's flames, having took a fireball directly to the stomach earlier, and my own skin was already healing due to my demonic ability to regenerate.

My anger spiked when I saw the bruising on her slender hips and the small amount of blood between her legs trickling down her inner thighs. The mere _acknowledgement_ of what Naraku had more than likely just done to Sango created a primal rage within me that I had never experienced before. I had quickly developed a surprising romantic inclination toward this girl after Naraku and the others left us. Sango was my first real friend and so much more than that. She was a light at the end of the tunnel for me, a symbol of what I could escape to and who I could become. She was a safe haven in this nightmare of my existence.

I wanted to kill the monster who did this to her; I wanted to end his miserable life in the worst way imaginable! Naraku deserved absolutely no sympathy from me or anyone else. His actions were despicable and he was far too cruel. Especially to commit such atrocities against someone like Sango…

Sango had shown me true kindness and friendship. She was a model of bravery and truth. She so easily came to my defense on more than one occasion, completely selfless and unafraid of the repercussions of doing so. It pained me to know part of the harsh truth behind her actions; she loved everyone else far more than she loved herself. I wondered how long she had been that way.

She took her time in the bath, avoiding the hot water near the new burn on her shoulder. In the meantime, I was able to mix aloe and some pain-reducing herbs together to create a burn treatment. Sango hesitantly allowed me to apply the salve to her damaged skin, once she left the water and dried off. She initially stiffened at my touch; I did not take her learned reaction personally but it hurt nonetheless. As I applied the medicine to her shoulder blade, I noticed she still had traces of my own nail marks on her back.

"Do you think he suspects anything?" I asked, tracing the small marks on her skin with my fingertips. The thought of Naraku discovering the depth of our… relationship… disturbed me deeply. I had no idea how he would react to such a thing; I only estimated that it would entail violence, possibly the death of one of us. Most likely me.

"I do not believe so…" the taijiya answered softly. She shivered and held a towel to her chest. "We were careful enough…"

Demons have a much keener sense of smell than humans. Even half-demons have heightened senses. I was very careful the day leading up to Naraku's return; we both bathed at least twice after our last… union… And I made sure Sango used my healing salve on the love marks I left on her neck and shoulders. I hated that she had to hide that. The marks she left on me would heal in a day's time or less. It almost saddened me. If not for Naraku's hideous existence to worry about, I think I would happily show off the human woman's recent claim on me.

My disembodied heart yearned even more for freedom. My own liberation and that of Sango's especially. Freedom to hate and love as so desired.

But what would that freedom bring us?

Would she stay by my side or go back to the monk with the cursed hand?

I could not blame her if she did.

I was a demon; she was a human. We were both female.

From my somewhat-limited knowledge of higher-level demon customs and culture (if you could even call it that), I knew that it was completely acceptable to have a same-gender relationship. Or even have multiple relationships at the same time. Such relationships seemed to be frowned upon by most humans. Demons were more concerned with overall rank, class, and abilities in a potential mate. Personality, loyalty, honor, and prestige were more important, it seemed. _Hence the existence of half-demons like Inuyasha…_

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Sango dress. She caught me and I quickly looked away, a small sensation of heat filling up my cheeks. The demon slayer walked over to me and offered her hands. I took them and she pulled me to my feet. I stood before her, taking in her beauty in the low light. In spite of her injuries, Sango was still very beautiful.

Sango placed her hands on my shoulders and moved a little closer to me. The light from the lanterns in the corners of the room illuminated her facial features, highlighting her cheekbones and jawline, drawing my attention to her full pink lips and the shy smile half formed there. Flames wildly danced within the paper lanterns; the fire's unpredictable movement briefly lit up the room, the shadows and highlights formed of it reflected in her eyes, momentarily making her irises this gorgeous honeyed amber color.

"You're still pretty, Sango." I couldn't help myself.

A blush filled her cheeks and she broke our eye contact, clearly embarrassed. "Kagura…"

I put my hands on her hips and pulled her close. "I wish you could see yourself as I do."

"Maybe one day… It'll take some time, though…"

Our eyes locked once more and I could see the pain and uncertainty in her golden-brown hues. She had been through so much. I could unfortunately say with confidence that I was quite sure that every terrible thing that could happen to a person had happened to Sango. Her young life was already so filled with grief and trauma. I wished I could take it all away…

"Kagura…" She spoke so quietly. I loved the way my name sounded leaving her lips. It was endearing, the shyness and modesty that still characterized her romantic notions, despite everything she had been through that could poison those qualities.

Sango gingerly planted a small, soft kiss on my lips. I pulled her close as she did so, reveling in the feeling of her quickened mortal heartbeat against my hollow chest. Her scent overwhelmed my senses; that akin of lavender and cool water. She made a small noise as I rubbed her back; her initial tense posture soon melted into me. I closed my eyes, wishing we could stay like this forever.

_Hands, like secrets, are the hardest things to keep from you…_

I pulled away from her slowly; I had to stop. The taijiya did not protest, she simply held onto me and rested her chin on my shoulder. I prized myself at my restraint; my feelings for her seemed to grow stronger with each passing day. I was still inwardly seething at the thought of Naraku laying his foul hands on her.

The mortality and apparent humanity in me longed for her gentle touch and her heart's reciprocation of my feelings. My heart currently desired nothing more than to make her smile and feel beautiful as she was, as she should ( _"Still pretty…"_ ). My brain willed me to lay caution to the wind ( _how fitting…_ ) and take it slow. The devil in my bloodstream wanted to claim her and mark her forever as mine ( _I briefly imagined sinking my fangs deep into her neck; that was too much for now…_ ). I shifted in her hold, violently pushing the latter thought away.

The compromise that was my soul decided silently upon all of those things to varying degrees…

* * *

I departed the castle that night, only after Sango had fallen asleep, tucked safely into my bed. I highly doubted Naraku would come for her tonight, given his earlier contentment and concealed surprise that she had attacked him first. I floated through the night sky on the safety of my feather, imagining fleetingly that I was traveling through the stars, maybe on escape to the moon…

The horde of lesser demons about twenty or so paces behind me made the most wretched of noises during our flight. I recognized their utility as cannon fodder and I could loosely agree with Naraku on that facet. However, their employment still felt below me. Unlike Naraku, I had no qualms with fighting for myself. I hated toting around this filth and bidding it haste to attack in my name.

What felt like hours later, I picked up Inuyasha's scent finally, along with the strange mixture of his companions. Soon enough, I had a visual on the silver-haired hanyou; he sat on the roof of a derelict shack in the middle of a clearing in the woods, no doubt on his shift of watching the perimeter.

"Inuyasha!" I cried out his name and led the horde of demons low, toward our target.

The half-demon awoke and with a quickness, did a somersault backward off the roof. He came charging around the front, tetsusaiga glowing in his hands. The monk and the miko were quick to join him, soon followed by the fox kit riding atop their hellcat in its larger form. It was so odd to see them battle ready without the taijiya in their ranks. I felt somewhat guilty, even though it was not my decision to kidnap Sango. I was not even aware of my being a diversion during the battle that fateful night…

"Kagura!" yelled Inuyasha. "Where's Sango? What have you all done with her?!"

I flew high on my feather, making way for the cannon fodder behind me to fly full speed at my opponents. I had no desire to hurt any of them, not really. Although it would be hard to squash my temper should I end up injured by one of them. But, I had to remain civil. They were [hopefully] allies. Eventually. I just had to get their buy-in.

"WIND SCAR!" A flash of light appeared, with a fault in the ground. I was able to move out of the way quickly enough; at least half of the demons, however, were not so fortunate.

From even higher, I watched the futile battle below. Miroku took out a handful of demons with sacred sutras and finished off his last opponent with a scroll to the forehead and decapitation with his staff. Kagome's arrows also felled many of the demons; a possibly stray arrow even made it high enough to nearly hit me. Inuyasha and Kirara clawed their way through the vast remainder of the horde; demon chunks and innards littered the ground around them. The very last trio of demons met their end in a blast of foxfire courtesy of Shippo.

"Kagura! Get down here and fight!" yelled Inuyasha.

"Yeah!" Shippo threw in his piece. "What have you done with Sango?"

I lowered my feather, feeling my anxiety heighten. I was unsure at this point if I would be leaving here in one piece, if at all. The tightness in my chest increased and their collective angry features became clearer as I drifted closer…

_They can't kill me. I know Sango's location._

I landed more gracefully than planned and tucked my feather safely in back in my hair. Seconds after my descent, and not all that surprisingly, I felt a fist come into contact with the side of my face. Soon after, I was tackled to the ground by Miroku.

 _"Where is she?!"_ the monk put his hands on my shoulders and violently shook me. Inuyasha stood menacingly over me, sword raised ever so slightly. Kagome was at his right, bow and arrow raised. I could hear Kirara emitting a low growl from somewhere behind my assailants.

"She's safe, for now." It was not _entirely_ a lie… Sango was safe for the time being. I would not leave her in any imminent danger, at least.

Miroku surprised me with another blow to the face. _I thought monks were supposed to detest violence…_ "Where is she? We know she's with Naraku!"

I turned my head and spit out a small amount of blood. "Sango is indeed at Naraku's new abode. I can assure you she is in no immediate danger, currently."

"Currently?" asked Miroku.

"She's alive…"

"Where?" His grip on my shoulders tightened.

I was drawing a blank. All of a sudden, I could not remember the directions back to the castle. It was as if the memory was erased from my mind. I tried my best to glance around for any signs of Naraku's spying saimyosho…

"Your clock is ticking, _Kagura…_ " Inuyasha sneered over Miroku's shoulder, his grip on the tetsusaiga increasing. I noticed out of my peripheral vision that Kagome had slowly been lowering her arrow this whole time.

"I _know_ that!" I snapped, beginning to panic. They may just kill me anyway. They seemed pretty upset, rightfully so.

Miroku pulled his fist back as if he was about to strike me again. I closed my eyes, anticipating the pain.

"Wait," Kagome chimed in.

"What?" asked Inuyasha and Miroku, simultaneously.

"She's not even putting up a fight," observed the miko, "She hasn't this whole time."

"What do you mean?" asked Inuyasha. "She set the demons on us!"

"I did what I had to," I answered. "I have no intention of actually fighting you!"

The three looked to one another, quizzical expressions on their faces. After a long and painful silence with tension in the air so thick it could be cut with Inuyasha's sword, Kagome and the half-demon backed off and Miroku lessened his restraint on me.

Miroku stood up. The group surrounded me. I stayed low, knowing my place.

Kirara forced her way between Miroku and Kagome. The hellcat stared into my eyes, growling lowly. She cautiously approached me, sniffing my clothes. She circled me a few times like a vulture overhead. If I had my heart, surely it would be trying to beat out of my chest right now. I did not even want to breathe…

I felt the cat's snout on my hand, expecting to be bitten. Shortly after, she forced her head under my palm and rested her chin on my thigh. Kirara then laid down. I could have fainted. _Kirara probably smells Sango on me…_

"Kirara?!" cried Shippo. "What are you doing?!"

I was at a loss for words. Sango's demon cat companion probably just saved my life, or at least spared me a most brutal beating.

"Maybe Kagura really is not here to fight…" offered Miroku. He crouched down beside me and the demon cat and began patting her back. In return, Kirara rubbed her cheek against me and purred softly. The cat seemed almost sad.

"Kirara seems to agree with that," stated Kagome.

I reticently patted Kirara's head. "I come in peace; I promise you my life on it."

"You better," threatened Inuyasha. He sheathed his sword. "Start talking."

I didn't even know where to begin. Or where to end… What was permissible information from the start? Be it from Naraku's blinding spell clouding my brain or from honoring Sango's privacy enough to not disclose her trauma. _That_ would probably end in my death as collateral.

"As aforementioned, Sango is safe but she is at Naraku's new castle," I chose my words carefully. "Naraku himself just returned from an excursion up North, seeking more jewel shards and who knows what else. In his company now is the last descendant of the Northern fire demons. She is brainwashed and her life hangs on that of a tainted jewel shard and bloodthirsty misplaced vengeance."

"Oh jeez, where have we heard _that_ before?" griped Inuyasha.

"That's exactly what I said…" I concurred.

"So Naraku has a new puppet in his collection, eh?" asked the half-demon. Confidence dripped from his words and he reeked of arrogance. "So, we'll just waste her and then take out the ringleader himself. Easy enough. We've played this game before, guys…"

"Do not be so hasty, Inuyasha," I warned. "Rouge is a strong opponent. Her power rivals that of yours and your brother's."

Inuyasha growled, likely irritated by the mention of his brother. "Oh, fuck Sesshomaru…"

"Inuyasha," said Miroku, "love him or hate him, your brother is indeed very powerful…" Inuyasha cocked an eyebrow and turned to his friend. "Not to say you're _not_ powerful—"

"Shut up, Miroku! I know what you're getting at!" Inuyasha crossed his arms and shook his head. "So, where do we go from here?"

I thought for a moment. I felt a pulse from within me. I was being summoned back already…

"I want to tell you where to find us," I stated. I stood up and reached for my feather.

"Where do you think you're going? This conversation ain't over!" yelled Inuyasha. He grabbed my wrist. I looked to him and made eye contact.

"I'm being summoned back; I cannot stay much longer…" I warned them. It was only a matter of time before Naraku sent the saimyosho to confirm my homecoming…

"Kagura," Miroku approached me and grabbed my shoulder, "we need your help. Any type of lead… _anything_ …"

"I can only say I am here not as an enemy, but as an ally…" A confidence rose within me as I clenched my fist. The skin was already healed but I could still feel the tightness from when I cut my own skin, sealing a blood pact with Sango. My promise, with my life, that I would escape with her, by any means necessary.

I looked from the monk to Inuyasha to Kagome in the background. They were all very clearly concerned for their friend. _That pulse again…_

"You don't understand—I can't say anymore. I simply can't!" Their gazes hurt; helplessness was in their eyes. They were all looking to me for an answer that I simply could not give them.

I swear I could hear buzzing off in the distance.

Miroku released me only for Inuyasha to tighten his hold on my wrist and then grab my free arm, his claws nearly piercing my flesh. We locked eyes.

"Kagura, if you can't take us to Sango right now or tell us where she is, at least keep her safe. Your life depends on it." The intensity in his golden eyes pierced right through my soul.

_Pulse…_

"Inuyasha!" I pulled myself out of his grip. "I need to go. _Now_!"

"When will we be seeing you again?" asked Kagome.

Once again, my mind was blank. I began to panic, desperately wracking my brain for an answer. On an impulse and a hunch based off our geography and time it took to travel to this exact location, I came up with something finally.

"The abandoned slayer village…" I said aloud.

"What?" asked Miroku.

"In two days!" I threw up my feather, quickly mounting it in a gust of wind. "Meet me at the demon slayer village!"

I drifted to the clouds, the familiar buzz of Naraku's hell wasps singing in my ear in an unholy chorus.

That was too close.

* * *

I came in through the window of my own bedroom. The wind that came with me blew the blanket off the bed, revealing Sango, fast asleep. I watched her sleep for a moment, in silent appreciation of her beauty. A whirlwind of emotions was currently wrecking my mind. Not even an hour ago, I had accidentally planted the seed of a plot to escape. It gave me a strange sense of accomplishment, an adrenaline rush, and a slight panic.

It had to work. I had no other choice. We had to prevail…

I was slightly scared that Naraku knew somehow. But upon my return and short debrief in the courtyard, he was none the wiser. Seemed genuine enough for me. His only other instructions were to watch Sango and continue to ensure she did not make any further attempts on her life.

Sango made a small noise in her sleep and rolled over on her back. She was quick to turn on her side once more, a pained expression on her face. I sat beside her and carefully placed a hand on her shoulder. Sango whimpered and pulled away, mumbling something, still very much at least half-asleep.

"Sango…"

The taijiya thrashed in her sleep, mumbling something incoherent before turning away from me and curling up in a fetal position. I was positive she was enduring another nightmare. It was not long before she began to cry and thus woke herself up with a small scream.

"Hey," I put my arms around her and pulled her close. _"I'm here…"_ Sango struggled against me at first, still disoriented from the nightmare and deep sleep. I loosened my hold on her as she relaxed and listened to the sounds of her soft crying. I hated seeing her cry, I hated that I could not stop the nightmares.

But now, we had a chance. Escape was a gift that may just be granted to us.

_If I can secure another excursion in two days' time, unsupervised…_

We stayed like that for a while, no words spoken between the two of us. No words were needed. I held her until her sobs subsided and her tears dampened the shoulder of my kimono. Eventually, she left to go relieve herself. In that time, I changed into something more comfortable to sleep in. By the time Sango returned, I was already snuggled in the safety and comfort of the blanket.

Sango stood at the side of the bed, nervously rubbing her arm. A sleepy yet abashed look graced her pale face. "I'm sorry…" she apologized, avoiding eye contact with me.

"For what?"

"Stupid nightmare…" she grumbled. "I feel so helpless, so… _vulnerable_ … I hate this…"

"Hey, come here," I pulled the blanket back and motioned for her to lay beside me. Sango smiled weakly, a light blush visible on her cheeks. She laid beside me on her side, facing the window.

I cautiously put my arm around her, unable to stop myself. She initially tensed but did not take long to relax against me. I felt her grab my hand and hold it to her chest, interlacing our fingers together. I could feel her heartbeat.

"I have good news," I finally broke our comfortable silence.

"Yes?"

"I finally ran into your friends," I answered, holding her closer. I felt her heart rate increase slightly.

"You did? Are they ok? Are they coming here?" Sango sounded a little more awake now; I smiled at her excitement.

"Yes, they're fine," I found myself smiling. "They know you're here and you're safe, for the time being."

"Did you tell them how to find us?"

"No," I answered, feeling slightly disappointed in myself, "I couldn't. It's like the information was wiped from my mind when I tried to tell them. But… I did tell them about Rouge. And I plan on meeting them in two days, at the demon slayer village."

"Why there?" asked Sango. It was indeed a random rendezvous point. But it was the closest landmark to this vile place.

"It was the closest thing I could think of and actually mention while I was with them."

"Are you sure you'll be able to make it? What about Naraku?" asked Sango. The slightest worry was prevalent in her voice.

"I'll find a way," I answered. "Sango…" I pulled my arm away from her, resting my hand on her hip. She turned halfway to face me. "I think I'm going to get us out of here. I did not even mean to make a solid plan today, but I did. My favorite accident thus far, I suppose…"

Her face lit up at my words and she hugged me in silent thanks. I swear I could feel her energy and mood lift, even though it was so slight.

"What do we do from there?" asked Sango. She laid on top of me, one hand loosely playing with my hair, the other resting on my shoulder.

Now is as good of a time as any to disclose my recent hypothesis to her.

"So, I have been thinking…" I started, hoping I was correct in my assessment; "As you are aware, Naraku is also a half-demon and therefore has a weakened period each month. However, he gets to choose his time. Something has felt… off… with him since his return. It feels right… he has a tell. He always becomes quiet and more distant…"

"You think he will be in his weakened state soon, then?"

"I believe so… I just don't know how long until then and how long we will have when it happens." I sighed.

"That's something, at least," said Sango. She was still gently playing with my hair and I felt her shift against me, her leg now draped over my hip.

"Maybe…" I put my arm around her, rubbing the small of her back with my hand. "I just want to get out of here. To get you out of here… I promised you that."

"And I promised you the same," stated the taijiya. She left a gentle kiss on my cheek and nuzzled against my shoulder. I could feel her gentle breathing against my neck and I took in her comforting scent as she laid on me.

If only Sango knew what exactly it was that she did to me; stirring up this devious, primal energy, a burning desire to be close to her. I increased the pressure as I rubbed small circles on her back. She made a small noise of approval and held onto me a little tighter. Part of me wanted to make a move, part of me wanted to leave us be where we were, unsure of her current intentions and desiring moreso to keep our relationship a secret, for the safety of both of us.

"Kagura?" said Sango, pushing herself up enough so that we could make eye contact.

"Yes, dear?"

"Forgive me if I'm being too forward," she prefaced. "Can I kiss you again?"

I grinned. "Of course, you can."

Sango smiled, that beautiful, adorable, embarrassed smile that I was beginning to love so much. Our lips met, sparking the fire inside me and fanning the flames of passion. I wanted her; she reminded me one thousand times that I was alive and that I could feel. Her touch reminded me that I was my own person and that no matter what had happened to me in the past, against my will, I still had a choice here in the present; yielded to that, my future could hold many opportunities. My life actually seemed to matter to her.

We soon found a rhythm to our secret dance, each motion calculated and thoughtful. As much as I wanted to break skin and proudly bear her marks, I elected against it, for fear of putting either of us in danger ( _especially her…_ ). I taught her well, though; many times, I felt her gently nip at my collarbone, not enough to leave any proof of our actions behind but enough to make me curse her name in small breaths.

We stopped soon enough, just after leaving our kimonos in a pile on the floor, before either of us was fully undressed. Sango was still in pain from earlier; more mental than physical, however both afflictions were present. She cried out of embarrassment and frustration. I was unsure how to comfort her at first, deciding on letting her make any further physical moves, regardless of motive. I completely dismissed my own desires for the time being, instead averting my full attention to Sango's needs and helping her address the confusion she was currently experiencing.

A compromise was reached in the form of Sango shaking in my arms roughly twenty minutes later, my hand between her legs, and my bare chest pressed against her back. She came quickly and quietly, making the smallest sounds of satisfaction as I brought about her undoing. _Lovely noises…_

The taijiya left briefly to clean herself up. Upon her return, she leaned in the doorway from my room to the bathroom, arms folded across her chest, messy dark brown hair falling just at her shoulders. The way the moonlight spilled into the room, illuminating her figure and highlighting her features in all the right places, nearly gave her a sense of otherworldly beauty.

_You're an angel, I'm a devil…_

_My angel of death, it would seem._

"What?" she asked, taking note of my gaze.

I shook my head and smiled. "Nothing…"

Sango raised an eyebrow and paced over to me, her movements slow and thoughtful. She offered an apology as she rejoined me in bed. "I'm sorry…"

"No need to apologize." She never owed me any explanations for anything. This was no different. I knew she was referring to putting off the conventional sex. "You never have to apologize to me, especially for this. I will never ever make you do anything you do not want to do."

"Thank you."

We laid there on our sides, facing one another for a while. Sango gently held my hand in hers, rubbing her thumb across my knuckles. Her gaze met mine and in the right concentration of moonlight, her eyes were again that gorgeous amber color, almost like a wild sunset.

"I could get lost in your eyes…" My words slipped out; I could feel sleep threatening to take me.

Sango smiled like she didn't care; her eyes betrayed her, as did the soft kiss she left on my lips as I began to fall asleep.

_Heartbeat so close to mine, and sunset colored eyes; remind me one-one-thousand times what it feels like to be alive…_


	18. Chapter Seventeen: Destruction of a Statue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: "Destruction of a Statue" by Suicide Silence]

_[Rouge's point of view.]_

A week.

We were gone for _a week…_

And for what? Only _seven_ jewel shards? Naraku made it sound like it was some grand quest! That wasn't a quest! It was… anticlimactic…

_I can't remember…_

I remember lots of walking. There was fire. We looted several abandoned settlements and ruins, searching. I made off with some loot myself. A silver dagger that I have apparently misplaced recently and lots of alcohol. Some of my items, such as the dagger, I could not remember gaining possession of... ( _"The spoils of war")._ I enjoyed the low-key pillaging and adventure but the whole excursion felt rather fruitless overall. Colossal disappointment.

Naraku was an odd fellow. I could not read him, still. He was charismatic and confident. Quiet and cool. Kohaku trusted him, it seemed. To an extent. Kagura hated his guts. Sango feared him and defied him every chance she got (and rightfully so). But where would he stand with me? Lesser demons fled before him and he walked with a confidence that gave the impression he thought the planets would bend before him if he demanded.

Kanna, the little demon girl clad in white… just… _creepy._ She barely spoke to me and when she did, she had the _audacity_ to subtly give me orders. _Me! Rouge of the fire demon tribe!_ I oughtta break that fucking mirror of hers…

Kohaku, the lost human boy. An apprentice demon slayer, so I've heard.… my brother-in-arms? The little bastard appeared to have a split personality or something. One moment he was a shy, bumbling human child and the next he would spring into action with the reckless abandon of an upper-level demon such as myself. He was one to be watched. He seemed to like me well enough, though. He spoke to me more than Kanna or Naraku. Then again, I actually entertained the conversation. The boy did not pretend to order me around at least.

The wind sorceress, Kagura. She gets in my way too often. Ruins my fun and fire with her damned hurricanes and such. She's got a temper and a noticeable disdain for Naraku, despite being borne of his flesh. He calls her and Kanna his 'disciples' but I know better. I've heard whispers the treacherous wind user confided in the slayer girl of her heritage. Explains the similar scent the three share.

 _The slayer…_ Sango. Is she really the one responsible for my death and that of my comrades? I am becoming less certain of that every day. No doubt she has killed before. Her prowess in battle is impressive, for a human. I can feel the aura of death that seems to follow her, that she brings in her wake. But I do not really think she is heartless enough…

The boy tells me he thinks she is his sister. The boy says he dreamt of stories she told him, before she even had a chance to. Kohaku dreams of charging into the forest, kusarigama raised, in his sister's shadow, as she pursues lesser yokai with hiraikotsu. Kohaku dreams of an angel with topaz eyes, lovely and smiling, guarding him with her life. Kohaku's nightmares are haunted by a fallen angel, distress plastered on her beautiful features, holding him close as they both slipped away.

Why can't he remember? Is it the same reason I have trouble with it, too? I just remember Ami's terrified face as she is struck down by something I cannot quite identify… Or _someone…_

Kohaku remembers Sango's face, too.

_Ami… my sister…_

I stopped my midnight stroll to pause at a balcony and admire the stars above. _There are so many… I wonder how full the night sky is of them?_ I am humbled by the celestial beauty. This world is vast; space and time are so fleeting. The heavens above never fail to remind me how insignificant we all are in the grand scheme of things.

And I am alone.

_I am alone._

I have no family left now. And even before… Ami had adopted me as a result of some tragedy befalling my mother when I was a young child. Our mothers were best friends, as were we, naturally. It only made sense. To this day, I am unsure of how my mother passed; I just know that it must have been brutal enough that Ami never once spoke of it.

I never knew her anyway.

My father… the apparent king of fire yokai. I was not even sure of his name. He died in some war before I was even born. The man, no matter how great he was in life, was merely a sperm donor as far as I was concerned.

Sango is alone.

Kohaku is very obviously her brother, despite his jumbled memories and broken brain. There are too many subtle physical similarities between them. And surely she is not warped enough to mistake him for someone else. But he is unsure…

And she suffers for it.

Kagura says Naraku killed Sango's entire village. The irony of the demon slayers being annihilated by a demon offered a bittersweet entertainment in the very back of my mind. If they were the same demon slayers I had heard rumors of, their services were limited to exterminating worms, spiders, and other lesser vermin. No proof existed that they were ever contracted to kill anyone or anything such as myself and my kin. On that note, then why Naraku? What did they have to do with him and vice versa?

Naraku made Kohaku and Sango fight today. She let him win. Sango presented no offensive maneuvers, only defense. She would dodge and block his efforts, never once making an attack on him of her own accord. The hurt and confusion in her eyes was evident, as was the aura of panic about her, despite her graceful actions in battle. Kohaku was a void the whole time, like that damned Kanna. His eyes glazed over and his movements were mechanical.

He didn't remember the fight.

I asked him about it later this evening. He didn't know if he believed me. I told him the blood on his weapon was hers. He said he wanted to be sick.

I couldn't imagine fighting Ami. For one, she would annihilate me in an instant. Two, I would die of my own blade rather than willingly harm my kin.

The moon was nearly full tonight; its shining face seemed to spy on me, likely finding my brooding and pensive demeanor entertaining. The world was too cruel, it seemed.

I can't wait to shuffle off this mortal plane and join my sister, my ancestors, and my betrothed.

I live only for vengeance. Vengeance I may not ever attain.

I am unsure…

I made my way back inside and began my stroll back to my quarters, on the other side of the castle. I couldn't get all of these people out of my mind, people I had never known, people I will never know… the lost and the forgotten…

"…and _stay down!"_ I heard Naraku in his chambers as I passed. Shortly after his demand, I heard something— _someone_ —collide against a wall. My guess would be the taijiya.

I didn't know what sick interest Naraku had in the human woman. She clearly had no interest in him, unless it involved his demise. I was indifferent. However, the things that I was sure he was doing to her were actions that I abhorred. I never had confirmation of his activities, aside from that of the anecdotes from the wind demon and the traces of fear that permeated Sango's scent when Naraku was too close in proximity. I had smelled him on her a few times, too.

The door was barely cracked open. I decided to investigate. Something deep within my conscience demanded it.

I peeked through the crack just in time to witness Sango running back at Naraku, fist raised. He ducked and grabbed her around her waist, tackling her to the floor. It appeared they had been putting up a fight for a while now. From what I could tell, she was worse for wear already. I smelled blood. Hers.

Naraku had her pinned against the floor and she struggled madly to escape. Her efforts and small attacks were futile; I watched him beat her into submission, a sickness growing in the pit of my stomach. I was frozen. I wanted to leave, to flee the scene, to at least close my eyes. But I stood there, the most uncomfortable emotions tearing at my soul and invading my unfortunate stream of consciousness.

She screamed. And I ran.

I saw her face.

That look was so familiar, it hurt. The most cruel sense of deja vu...

_I coughed up blood and sat up, fairly certain that at least half of my ribs were broken. Smoke filled the air, reeking of blood, dirt, and death. My ears were ringing and my vision was going in and out; everything was fuzzy. I looked around at our ruined home. The once beautiful house built of cedar and stone, was now aflame and in ruin, crumbling before my eyes. The explosion was so sudden._

" _Damien?!" I called for my lost brother-in-law. No answer. I stood up, shaking, unable to balance. I fell against a broken pillar and caught myself. As I leaned there, catching my breath, I surveyed the damage. The ceiling was completely caved in, leaving the only entrance and exit to be the hole in the roof, exposing our plunder to the stars above._

_I slowly began to traverse the wreckage, moving destroyed furniture and foundations out of my way. I spotted a clawed hand sticking out from under a pile of rubble. "Damien!" I rushed over to the ruins and began unearthing my injured comrade. He was almost completely buried._

" _Damien!" I called out to him and held his face in my hands._

_The wolf demon's eyes fluttered open. His left eye was no longer the beautiful hue of green it once was, tarnished by a busted blood vessel. "Rouge…?" he said my name in a broken voice. I felt my heart breaking already._

" _Damien…"_

_He struggled to escape his rock tomb. His lower body was completely pinned. "Rouge… I can't move my arms or my legs…" He coughed and I was sprayed lightly with blood._

_I leaned forward and hugged him, holding onto him for dear life. I tried as hard as I could to pull him out of the rubble but to no avail. I was able to free his arms, however. I held his hands in mine while I frantically looked around us; there had to be something…_

" _Damien, I'll get you out of here, don't worry," I tried with all my might to move the destroyed pillar pinning him to the ground. It was no use._

" _Rouge…" Damien coughed. I could see the color draining from his face before my very eyes and tears threatened to fall. Upon closer inspection, I noticed blood pooling under him. He had been crushed._

" _Damien…" I hugged my brother once more, beginning to cry. "Damien… who would do this to us? To you…?"_

" _I'm dying, Rouge," Damien said in a weak voice, "I don't know… who… find Ami… protect her, Rouge…"_

" _Oh, Damien!" I cried, holding him as tightly as I could. "My brother, don't leave me!"_

"… _Tell Ami I love her… Keep her safe… for—"_

_He died in my arms._

_I cried out to the heavens, cursing the powers that be. I wanted to stay with him, but I knew better. I had to find my sister and Yokama. We were clearly being attacked by an unknown entity for an unknown reason. I tore myself away from my fallen comrade and began my escape from our ruined abode. I could hear the faint sounds of voices mixed in with the crackling of the fire and crumbling structures around me._

_I made it to the remainder of the rooftop and spotted Yokama flying through the air, dodging blasts of dark energy. "Yokama!" I called out to him. He turned mid-air._

" _Rouge! We're being attacked!"_

_The structural integrity of the roof was slipping. I went to jump off to join the battle ahead but froze, feeling the architecture cracking beneath me. I was not so worried about the flames, as I was fireproof, but the fall may kill me. Or I could be crushed like Damien. Now or never._

_I went to launch myself off the rooftop and the building began its final descent. I screamed and closed my eyes, bracing myself for death._

_It didn't happen._

_I was swept off my feet by Yokama in the nick of time. We soared through the air and despite the chaos, I felt safe in his arms, where I belonged._

" _Got ya—that was close!" stated the ghost demon. We landed safely behind the storage silo for our small compound. The only structure that was not yet alight in flames and burning dread._

" _Yokama! What the hell is going on?!" I asked. I grabbed his hands and held them tightly. "Damien's dead!"_

" _Damien?" grief struck the young man, apparent in his voice as our brother's name left his lips. "No..."_

" _Yokama, who the fuck is attacking us?"_

_He pulled me close and looked around. "I don't know… I've never seen him before."_

" _Who? What did he look like? Where's Ami? We need to find her!"_

" _She's over there somewhere… I think she took refuge in the altar…" We peeked out from behind our cover, scanning the scorched landscape. The altar was about twenty yards away, seemingly untouched for now. "Come on!" Yokama grabbed my hand and we ran._

" _So, who did this?" I asked again, trying to pace myself._

" _Don't know," breathed Yokama, "Ami and I were at the altar, you and Damien were in the house. We heard an explosion and came out and the house was in flames. Before we could come look for you both, this strange man appeared, wearing a baboon pelt."_

" _Baboon pelt? What the fuck?"_

" _Yeah… he attacked us with dark energy blasts and sent a swarm of hell wasps. We've been fighting him ever since. He's strong…"_

_Almost there…_

" _Rouge, look out!"_

_Yokama tackled me to the ground as we narrowly avoided a blast of dark energy. Low laughter emanated from just ahead of us. We uncovered our heads and looked up to see a dark figure walking through a cloud of miasma and smoke._

" _Rouge…" the figure said my name. I pegged the voice as male, but one I did not recognize._

" _Who are you?!" I demanded. Yokama and I slowly rose to our feet, brushing the debris off of our bodies and assuming battle stances. Yokama's hands glowed green with demonic spectral energy and I saw him reach for his firearm out of the corner of my eye. I reached for my own sword, gripping the handle._

_A man appeared as the smoke slowly cleared. He was tall and pale, with long wavy black hair and piercing crimson eyes. He was wearing an elegant dark blue kimono, like he was royalty of some sort. Our alleged attacker appeared human but had a demonic aura stronger than the four of us combined._

_I unsheathed my sword. "Name yourself! I demand to know!"_

" _You look just like your mother…" said the strange demon man._

" _How the hell do you know me?!" I swung my sword at him, the blade surrounded by hot violet flames. He dodged my attack and disappeared in a cloud of miasma. Yokama fired several shots where he once stood._

_Yokama and I stood back to back, weapons raised. "Where did he go?" I asked._

" _Rouge, who_ is _this guy?" asked Yokama._

" _I don't know, but he knows me…" I was very confused and admittedly frightened. Had I done something to the wrong person? Surely not… I kept to myself for the most part, as did my comrades… Is it just me? Or is this miasma getting thicker…_

_I could no longer see, relying on the reality check and loose comfort of Yokama's back against mine. It was getting harder to breathe._

_Another explosion of dark energy sent us both flying into the air. I landed hard on the ground, my left foot bearing the weight of my fall. A sickening crunch verified that at least the bone in my ankle was broken. I cried out as I tried to stand. I could see Yokama running toward me through the smoke._

" _Rouge! Rouge, over here! I'm coming!"_

" _Yokama!" I began limping over to him, my arm outstretched._

_Evil laughter permeated the area. I paused and looked around for our assailant. He was nowhere to be found. My eyes rested on my fiancé again, as his motion slowed until he was at complete stop, his face expressionless._

" _Yokama…?"_

_He just stood there, completely still._

" _Rouge… you will call this man your betrothed, I see…" came the disembodied voice of our attacker._

" _How do you know that?" I asked. "Who are you?! Where are you?!" I spun around, brandishing my sword. "Show yourself!"_

" _Rouge!" I felt a small gust of wind and heard the flutter of wings behind me. Ami landed gracefully beside me, assuming a battle stance._

" _Ami! What's going on? Who is this guy?!"_

" _Rouge, where is Damien?" asked Ami. "I saw the house explode…"_

_I shook my head, unable to look my sister in the eyes. She gasped and clapped her hands to her mouth, falling to her knees._

" _Love is such a pitiful emotion…" that hideous voice echoed around the perimeter, still disembodied. Neither of us had a visual on our attacker, just eyes on Yokama's strange pause._

_I wanted to comfort Ami and share her grief but there was something horribly amiss with Yokama…_

" _Ami," I crouched down beside her, my guard still slightly up. There were so many things wrong right now… I put my arm around Ami's shoulders._

" _That wolf was a waste anyway," the pale man appeared before us again, materializing out of nowhere. "Why would he defect from his pack to bond with the likes of a bat? Allying with the fire demon, I could understand—"_

_Ami arose in a blinding flash of blue light, her dark wings outstretched from her back. "You killed my husband!" She flew at our attacker full speed. She landed a blow at his chest and rammed him into the altar, resulting in an additional, smaller explosion._

" _Ami!" I called out to her. I could hear her fighting the mysterious demon within the ruins of the altar. Yokama! I turned my attention toward him once more. Ami could handle herself._

"… _Rouge…" he said, his voice strained. We made eye contact. Something was wrong. His once vibrant teal eyes were now devoid of life. "Get… away from me…"_

" _Yokama…"_

_He shot a blast of spectral energy at me and I dodged it just in time. "Yokama! What's wrong with you?!" He fired at me once more, this time with his gun. I jumped out of the way and rolled to the side. I quickly got to my feet and pulled out my sword._

" _Yokama, I don't want to fight you… ever…"_

_Yokama rushed toward me. He blindly swung in an attempt to pistol whip me. I caught the small weapon with my blade, effectively blocking his attack. The trigger was pulled in the process, however. I felt immense pain in my stomach and brought my left hand to the new wound. I held my hand in front of my face, staring in horror from the blood on my palm to the face of my love in the background. My love, who just shot me._

_The ghost boy stood in front of me. He slowly began to come to. He shook his head, eyes welling up with tears. Yokama dropped his weapon and rushed to me, wrapping his arms around me. "Rouge! What have I done?!"_

" _Yokama…" We parted and he placed his hand on the wound._

" _Rouge, it wasn't me! I swear! I would never—"_

_Another explosion in the background. I watched the mysterious demon launch himself through the burning roof of the altar, followed closely by Ami in a flash of blue light. The air around me felt cold all of a sudden. Yokama's hand was no longer on my abdomen._

" _Yokama, it's ok, I'm not mad at you… I know it wasn't you…"_

_He blinked his pretty eyes at me and I saw the emotion leaving his turquoise hues._

" _Yokama…" I heard a crash behind me._

_He pushed past me, his movements cold and calculated. I spun around to see Yokama begin a brisk walk in a beeline toward the sound of the aforementioned struggle. His pace quickened to a run and I willed myself to chase after him despite the pain of my injuries._

" _Yokama!"_

_He fired the gun a few times; I was unsure who his target was. The spectral bullets missed both the unknown demon and Ami, who were in a scuffle on the ground. Ami let out an ear-piercing screech and sent the attacker into the air. She arose once more; before she could take off after the demon again, a gunshot was heard, and her right wing was shredded by one of Yokama's spectral bullets._

" _Ami!" I cried out. The bat demon fell to the ground in a crumpled mess. "Yokama!" I rushed to Ami's side._

" _What's wrong with him?!" she asked._

_I eyed him, unsure what to feel… he was not himself… My fiancé just shot my sister…_

" _I think he's possessed…" Ami watched him suspiciously._

" _Yokama! Wake up!" I cried out. He just stood there, emotionless. He lowered his gun momentarily. His arms hung limply at his sides, right hand still clutching the weapon tightly. I turned my attention to Ami. "Are you ok?" She slowly stood up._

" _What about you? You're injured…"_

" _Forget about me!"_

_I stumbled slightly and Ami caught me. I leaned against her; both of us studied Yokama closely, unsure what his next actions would entail._

" _Yokama…" I began. "Can you hear me?"_

_He tilted his head slightly to the side. Ami's grip on my arm tightened. We were at a stalemate for what felt like a lifetime._

" _Yokama…?"_

_He stood straight up and we made eye contact. He wasn't there anymore._

" _My love…?"_

_His hand twitched, grip appearing to tighten on his weapon._

"… _I love you…"_

_He raised the gun to his temple._

_And pulled the trigger._

" _YOKAMA! NO!" I screamed, pulling myself away from my sister to rush over to the boy who once tightly held my heart, now loosely holding a gun, memories spilling out onto the dirt. I leaned over him, completely forgetting my own wounds, instead focusing solely on my dead betrothed before me. I pulled him into my lap and held his limp form close, letting the tears fall uncensored and unashamed._

_That evil, despicable laughter filled the air once more._

" _You son of a bitch!" I screamed. "Where are you?! I will kill you myself!" Rage and grief pumped violently through my bloodstream, fanning the flames of my vengeance._

" _Rouge, up there, on the roof!" yelled Ami, pointing._

_I gently laid Yokama down, carefully closing his eyes as I did so. I stood up, my rage inspiring my battle stance. I had to avenge him. And Damien. I spotted our assailant, standing triumphantly atop the remaining structure of the altar before us._

" _FIRESTARTER!" I slammed my sword into the ground, creating a fault line from which erupted purple flames. The ground shook and the flames made it to the altar. The demon jumped off just in time to dodge the attack._

_Ami screeched and sent a sonar wave in his predicted direction. She hit her target and I saw his eyes widen as her blast made unexpected contact. We rushed over to ensure his defeat, remaining vigilant. I was beginning to feel dizzy from blood loss and was finally being reminded of my broken ankle. We were mere paces away from the demon and I felt Ami grab my wrist._

" _Wait," she cautioned._

_The man's body twitched and appeared to bubble and expand in a few places._

_What…?_

_Another miasmic explosion occurred, knocking us both backwards. Through the clouds, I could see the demon transforming into something, no doubt showing his true form. Sickening cracks and pops were heard as he slowly changed from the guise of a human to that of a large, hideous spider. He was too close for my comfort._

_I tried to back away, but the pain was beginning to be too great. The spider demon looked at me and began crawling toward me. I reached for my sword and managed to swing it a few times, barely missing one of the spider's front legs. The demon screeched and for a moment, I thought my blade made contact._

_Ami charged into the giant arachnid, claws out. She was slashing relentlessly into his side. The spider turned from me to my sister. I took this time to try to get to my feet and either get away or make myself useful. I decided on the latter once I was steadily standing, both hands gripping the hilt of my sword, battle ready._

_The spider demon didn't care about me. He was fully immersed in his battle with Ami, biting and stabbing at her with fangs and claws bared. Ami dodged most of the initial attacks, until she was pierced with a large claw, right through her abdomen._

" _Ami!"_

_The spider cast the bat demon aside; she slid off his clawed appendage in a heap. I raised my sword and began limping toward the spider. "Out of my way, you fucking monster!" I swung my sword at the spider as I approached. I was tripped by one of its legs and then knocked out of the way. The air left my lungs as I hit the ground._

_The spider turned to Ami. I watched him raise a claw. I could not see what happened but could infer by my sister's cry of pain that she had been pierced once more._

" _Ami, no!" I couldn't lose her, too. Not one more, not to this monstrosity. He didn't even know them… clearly his problem was with me…_

_One last pulse of miasma and the spider began a slow, sick transformation back into the shadow of a man. Light outlined his form and as he reappeared in full view, I could see that he was holding Ami by her neck. He turned to look at me, an evil grin on his face._

" _Ami, no…" A tear slid down my cheek. "Let her go!"_

" _I don't think so, Rouge."_

" _Why? What have we ever done to you! How do you even know me?"_

" _Rouge, did this little bat ever tell you exactly how your mother died?"_

_I was silent. Did this mean…? "I just know she died about fifty years ago when I was still a child…"_

_The demon laughed evilly._

" _Who are you?"_

" _I am Naraku… and you fire demons were in my way, I'm afraid," he answered finally._

" _Naraku… did you kill my mother?"_

" _I killed your entire clan. They were spreading too quickly and refused to ally with me."_

_I couldn't believe this! This man, this horror, was the reason…_

_I shook my head, trying to stay in my senses. I raised my sword once more and then felt a sting on my neck, followed almost instantaneously by numbness in my entire body._

" _I had no idea there was a survivor. There should not have been…" Naraku looked from me to Ami, whose struggle was slowing. Blood covered her from her waist down. The hole left in her abdomen from the spider's claw was likely going to prove fatal. "The old bat must have lied to me when she said Dahlia never bore children to the Firelord of the northern coast."_

_Naraku and I locked eyes. "That's ok, though. Both of those old demons will soon be joined in hell by their disgraceful daughters." His grip on Ami's neck tightened._

" _Rouge…" I barely heard my name. She looked to me one last time, evidence of excruciating pain on her face. I could see into her soul; all the pain she held inside, the things she had seen and likely shielded me from..._

_Naraku snapped Ami's neck; her body fell to the ground. It all happened in slow motion in my eyes._

" _Ami! No! My sister!" I cried out, my heart breaking entirely._

_I didn't know that I wanted to survive this. I knew I had no chance of exacting revenge… not in this state. I could feel my consciousness fading in and out._

_Naraku approached me. He crouched down and took my face in his hands. "You look just like the old wench. But you must have his eyes." He forcefully pushed me away and then yanked my sword out of my limp hand. "This blade bears the mark of a dead people." I felt his hand around my neck. He rose to his feet, bringing me with him as I struggled to breathe._

_The demon held me in the air, eyes never leaving mine. "You were the last of a dying breed, my dear." His grip around my neck tightened; I could see him pull my sword back._

_I couldn't even scream as my own blade pierced my chest. I was briefly carried and then dropped to the ground next to my dead sister. The last thing I saw was her beautiful, pained face; burned forever into my memory._

* * *

_[Kagura's point of view.]_

"Sleep tightly, my beautiful taijiya…" I brushed Sango's hair out of her face, admiring her beauty as she slept. Two servings of sleeping poultice and hundreds of tears and curses later, the young woman had finally fallen asleep beside me.

It was a long night.

Sango was strong, but she was slipping. Apparently earlier today while I was off doing chores and other servile bullshit with Kanna, Naraku had summoned Sango to his shoddy throne room to fight Kohaku for his sick entertainment. Kohaku won. Rouge came to collect him after, as the two had their own share of cleaning and repairing on the other side of the castle that evening. I retired to my quarters after a brief flight on my feather, testing the barrier. No such luck. Still trapped, unless I would be sent off on another errand.

Hopefully tomorrow… It _has_ to be tomorrow. _I promised Inuyasha and the others…_

Sango was restless in her sleep. I laid down beside her and put my arm around her in a weak gesture of comfort. _Naraku is so cruel…_

She made it back to my room on her own, bloodied and beaten. Naraku had not sexually assaulted her this time, but he still managed to hurt her quite badly. He had been acting strange lately, I could feel his anger and sense the violence that pulsed through him. It had to be about time for him to enter his reconstruction period. He was far more volatile this time, though. And he took out his aggression on Sango, who could barely fight back at the time, having lost one battle already today.

We had to get out of here.

I held Sango close, burying my face in her hair. _Lavender…_ She seemed to relax in my hold. I managed a weak smile at the thought that I could bring comfort instead of only pain, misery, and destruction. I hated that she had been brought here at all; I hated that she was suffering so. I felt guilty that a part of me was thankful to have her, though. All was right with the world when I had her at my side.

Sleep was trying to claim me and I did not complain, having pleasant enough thoughts at the time. I considered what it would be like to be away from here, to be free. To act on my own and carry out no one else's bidding, no matter how good or bad. I thought about leaving this place, Sango at my side, her hand in mine. We would run so very far away from here…

I could see her in my mind, smiling and beautiful, the evening I first kissed her. My first taste of freedom, in many ways. Freedom to do as I pleased; freedom to make love, not violence. I thought of the night we had sex for the first time. My first glimpse of freedom to use my body as I saw fit. There was nothing in the world that could compare with knowing I could experience and bring pleasure of my own accord. Especially to and with someone as special as her…

I was honored. It meant so much to me that she trusted me so. What reason did she have for it all? She cared for me, I suppose. As I cared for her. The sound of her pleasure and the way she cried out my name, was the greatest gift I could ever receive… short of my own heart.

How fitting would it be—for Sango to be the one to free my heart? Maybe she already held it in her hands. She is so wonderful and she doesn't even know.

My bedroom door slid open. Alarmed, I immediately sat up, trying not to disturb Sango. I removed my arm from around her, feeling a bit of panic; we must remain a secret. Lest our safety be compromised…

It was only Rouge.

Sango made a small noise and sat up as well, sleepily rubbing her eyes.

"Rouge," I declared, a little annoyed at her surprise visit. "To what do we owe the pleasure?"

Rouge just stood in the doorway, silent. I expected some kind of shitty remark from her or at the very least a nasty glare. Nothing. The fire demon turned and quietly slid the door shut and walked over to us.

"What do you want?" I asked, trying not to sound as angry as I was. Something was amiss with her.

Rouge stood before us, silent. She glanced at Sango and looked as if she had seen a ghost. _Well…_

"Wind sorceress… _Kagura…_ " started Rouge. I raised an eyebrow at her and nodded. I was intrigued. The fire brat rarely called me by name. "Tell me everything you know about how I got here. What really happened to me? I know you know something…"

Something had to have happened. I sighed. This would be a very long, very careful conversation. She was ready to hear the truth, it appeared. _Finally..._

"You remembered something, didn't you, Rouge?" I probed.

Rouge nodded slowly and sat on the floor. "I just have to know." She gazed out the window, a somber expression taking over her features.

"You are not my murderer after all, are you Sango?" asked Rouge. Sango merely shook her head. She did not have much to say to the fire demon. This was, unfortunately, my confession.

"Rouge," I said, "what did you remember?"

Rouge was quiet for a moment. She looked down at her hands. Her dark red bangs fell over her eyes, obstructing them from my view; although I could hear the sadness in her voice. "I saw us die." She took a deep breath. "My brother-in-law was crushed by an explosion in our home. My fiancé was possessed and shot himself in the head. My sister was killed by a spider demon…" she looked up to me, tears welling in her amethyst eyes. "I was killed by my own sword. I was the last one to die."

I knew all of this already, though. I was lucky enough to witness the entire spectacle through Kanna's mirror, in real time. I averted my gaze from the fire demon, unable to look at her. That was a very gory scene. I could still remember the smell of death that surrounded the area when Naraku sent me to collect her corpse... He would never know I buried the other three.

"Do you know who your real killer is yet, Rouge? Do I really have to tell you?"

"I just… I need to know… for certain… I need confirmation from outside of my own mind..." Her voice shook and she took a deep breath.

"You know he's the one…"

Rouge slammed her fist into the floor, denting the stone a little. _"GODDAMMIT!"_ She twisted away, casting her gaze down and then squeezing her eyes shut. I felt for the girl, I really did. Sango grabbed my hand under the blanket. Rouge was… unsettling…

"So, how did I end up here? Why me?! Why not just let me rot in peace with my family?" asked Rouge.

"Because that is not what Naraku does, Rouge. Naraku is death; he is destruction. He is literal hell. He only wants one thing and that is power. And he will do whatever he can to take it." I made eye contact with her. The only other person I've seen whose rage-filled eyes matched the intensity of hers was Sango. The look in her violet eyes was that of a person who's lost everything. She had nothing to lose, nothing to gain.

"I guess he killed my mother, too," said Rouge, "I never even knew her…"

"When Naraku first came into existence fifty years ago, he needed strong allies and dedicated followers," I confessed what little I knew. "The northern fire demon tribe was one of the most powerful at the time, next to the dog general's eldest son, Sesshomaru, of the western lands. There was no way in hell Naraku would ally himself with Inuyasha's brother, no matter what the relationship between the two was at the time. Second best was sadly, your ancestors."

"So how did he defeat them all?" asked Rouge. "If they were so great, then why were they felled so easily by this scumbag of a man?"

"Trickery and infiltration," I stated. "Infighting and possession. Naraku is a master of disguises and a natural-born trickster. He pitted Inuyasha and Kikyo against one another fifty years ago. Stirring up shit and causing unprecedented, unwarranted chaos and destruction is what he does." I found my own anger growing as I spoke. "I don't know the exact details of the fall of your people, but I can confirm that Naraku was previously unaware of your existence. He recently heard rumors of a survivor and after he confirmed it via his spying hell wasps, the saimyosho, he plotted your demise. Naraku doesn't like to leave loose ends."

Rouge clenched her fists. "So, why did he bring me back here, to his abode? Other than the clear fact that he is a sadist of the worst sort…"

"Rouge, he didn't lie to you on that. Don't you remember? The day of your resurrection…" She looked deep in thought. "You're powerful, Rouge. Possibly powerful enough to defeat Inuyasha."

Rouge laughed. "Well, that's not going to happen, now is it?" She stood up, seeming to tower over Sango and me. A dangerous look was growing in her eyes.

"That bastard! I've been had!" She unsheathed her sword and studied the blade. "He killed my family—twice! I watched Yokama and Ami die! Damien died in my arms! And he had the nerve to resurrect me as his fucking puppet..." Rouge wiped hot, angry tears away with her free hand. She directed her gaze at Sango. "I offer you my sincerest apologies, Sango. For everything, even actions that I did not commit." The fire demon lowered her sword and leaned forward, her face mere inches from Sango's. The slayer backed up a little.

"You look just like her," Rouge stated, a longing and sad tone lingering in her voice. "I saw him hurting you earlier… it made me remember…" She reached out and stroked Sango's cheek, never breaking eye contact. Sango froze at the gesture. I was positive Rouge would not hurt her, but I could feel the fluctuation of the fire demon's aura and the rage irradiating from her being. "It's like he was killing my sister again. And I had to watch, again."

Rouge straightened her posture and slowly backed away from us. Her eyes glistened with tears, highlighted from the moonlight pouring in from the window. Rouge stood still for a moment, hand resting on the hilt of her sword.

I broke the silence first. "What are you thinking about, Rouge?" She was too calm.

Rouge simply showed herself to the door. Before she left, she turned to me one last time.

"Take care of the slayer for me, will you?" Rouge's sword pulsed in an amethyst glow. "She cannot perish; it would be akin to Ami's death all over again. And she is as honorable as my sister; and as beautiful. A fair being as such should not meet an untimely demise."

"Rouge…"

"I bid you adieu, Kagura. Sango."

With that said, Rouge slipped quietly out the doorway. I barely heard her footsteps down the hall; however, I was able to hear the faint sounds of an anguished battle cry shortly after from somewhere within the castle.


	19. Chapter Eighteen: Personality Cult

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: "Personality Cult" by Issues]

_Stupid fire demon…_

I shook my head as I soared through the heavens, closely brushing a few treetops. She had to learn the truth someday; better sooner as opposed to later… However, it was at her own risk. I understood why she did it, and I would be lying if I said I was not thankful for her failed kamikaze. I felt for the kid, knowing full well the extent of her punishment for her attempted murder of Naraku.

Rouge was literally hanging in the dungeons currently. Hanging from the ceiling in shackles; no armor, no weapons. Just skin and blood and bruises. Kohaku and I were to guard her cell in shifts. I did not condemn her actions, just her impulsiveness. Rewriting her mind would be a difficult project for Naraku. I wouldn't be shocked if she was dead by sunrise.

Pity. I was starting to hope we could save her, too.

_Oh well…_

Rouge's unanticipated rebellion gave me plenty of time to fly off to fulfill my promise to Inuyasha's pack. I was almost to the abandoned taijiya village. Rouge's antics came as a serendipitous distraction for Naraku; he sent me off to deter Inuyasha and anyone else he feared was closing in on us. He sent me alone, unsupervised, with merely the offer of a swarm of lesser demons, should I choose to employ them.

Naraku set his focus today, all day, on punishing Rouge and trying to figure out what to do with her. He was hesitant to just kill her, seeing that as a waste; he would prefer to enslave her once more. His new distraction was also reluctantly welcomed by Sango, although she would never admit it. I checked in with her before leaving the castle. It broke my heart that I could not willingly stop him from harming her; the least I could do was offer her comfort and my growing devotion to her.

I had the village in sight. I sped up, enjoying the adrenaline rush and the wind in my hair. I was in my element. And one step closer to freedom.

I landed gracefully on the ground in the middle of the village. I was early. The demon horde hovering behind me was growing restless. I was growing annoyed.

As if on cue, Inuyasha and his pack showed up.

"Kagura!" yelled Inuyasha.

"Welcome," I stated.

"What is this nonsense?" asked Miroku, gesturing to the yokai vermin behind me.

"A 'gift' from Naraku," I said.

Inuyasha huffed. "Thank you, I suppose." He unsheathed his sword. His comrades also assumed battle stances.

"You're welcome." I threw my feather into the air and mounted it, soaring high above the futile battle about to happen below.

I watched, bored, as Inuyasha and the others destroyed the lesser demons in no time at all. After the last demon worm fell, I descended back to the ground. I stood up and collected my feather and turned to face the half-demon.

"Yo," I greeted.

"Salutations, Kagura," was Inuyasha's sarcastic reply. "So, what's up? Why the secrecy? You sure were quick to end our last discussion. And at such a crucial point, too."

I tucked my feather back into my hair and looked around. I could not sense or smell any opposing forces. We were safe for now. I noticed it was only the monk and priestess that accompanied Inuyasha tonight.

"I was close to being watched," I answered. "And he was summoning me back. I had to go. It wouldn't be worth the risk to hang around and get caught. Too much is at stake."

"How is Sango?" asked Miroku. The monk's dark blue eyes were filled with concern. He looked like he hadn't slept in quite some time. "Is she safe?" The haste in his voice sparked a small twinge of jealousy in me. I kept myself in check. _She's not mine…_

"She's fine for now," I stated.

"Has anything happened to her?" asked Miroku. _Wrong question…_

I couldn't hide the anger on my face but I kept my tone level. "She's been through it… but she's alive. And surviving." I glimpsed the monk's grip on his staff tighten. Inuyasha's ear twitched.

"So, do you have a plan?" asked Inuyasha. "It sounded like you did back in the forest."

I mulled over my ideas and theories in my head. I knew Naraku's reconstruction period was upon us, I just did not have a pinpoint estimation of when. Likely within the next few days, judging from his heightened mood swings and isolation today and yesterday. He also looked a little worse for wear today. Even the fact that he did not just kill Rouge outright for her betrayal was suspicious enough…

"As you are all aware, Naraku is a half-demon, and as such, he has a weakened period each month," I began. My anxiety heightened just a little. _This is really happening…_

"Yes," said Kagome, "but doesn't he get to choose his time?"

"He does…"

"Then what does that mean for us?" asked Miroku.

"I think his time is approaching," I explained. I took out my fan and examined it, feigning boredom as a replacement for the anxiety stirring within me. I was about to set off a rather dangerous chain of events, should anything go wrong… "I believe it will begin in the next few days, perhaps even as soon as tomorrow.'

Inuyasha finally sheathed the tetsusaiga. "Remind me again why you are helping us? Why are you helping Sango? What is your angle in this, Kagura?"

He had every right to question my motives. I would be as transparent as possible. "I grow tired of Naraku's treachery. He has done things that even the most heinous of criminals would abhor. I no longer wish to be associated with someone as vile as him. I also have my own reasons…"

"Freedom." Inuyasha already knew.

"Indeed." _Freedom of my own; and the liberation of a certain demon slayer who was quickly becoming the object of my affection…_ "I want my heart and my freedom. Both of those things require Naraku's demise."

"I'll gladly lend you a hand there," said Inuyasha. He cracked his knuckles and smiled wickedly. Miroku and Kagome nodded in agreement on either side of him.

"Why else the change of heart?" asked Kagome. "Why assist us so readily?"

I had to choose my words carefully here. After a long pause and much thought, I finally gave the young miko an answer. "I have been charged with the oversight of the slayer, Sango. Needless to say, she and I have a lot more in common than I'd expected. I could say the same to you all. Your entire band has been drawn together by the shared goal of Naraku's downfall, if I'm not mistaken."

"'The enemy of my enemy is my friend'," quoted Miroku.

"Enough banter!" said Inuyasha. "When is the day? What do you recommend? Better sooner rather than later, I say."

I did not enjoy being put on the spot like that, although I understood his impatience and the overall urgency of the situation. I still could not find myself able to disclose exact directions… _Damn spell…_ I did have my time perception back on this trek, at least. Maybe his spell was weakening… Another good sign. I looked around, to the clouds and setting sun for guidance, desperately searching my memory. _How did I get here?_

It all came back to me. "I think you can make it there in a day on foot. If you leave now…"

"Which way?" asked Miroku.

I paused, searching my brain once more… the hold was certainly weakening…

"North…" _I could remember!_

"I couldn't hear you," said Miroku.

"North! The castle is a day north of here!" Excitement and adrenaline pumped through me. I searched the skies for saimyosho or any other warning signs. Nothing, nothing at all…

"Then it's settled," said Inuyasha. "Do you have a plan from there?"

I smiled evilly. "Just have fun and do whatever you please."

"Where will you be? What about Sango?" asked the monk.

"Let's just say if Naraku still isn't distracted by his latest mistake, we will offer some kind of diversion." Rouge did come in handy, it seemed. Even in captivity. The idea of a jailbreak crossed my mind; that would be an entertaining deviation, if needed…

"Didn't you say he has a new demon in his command?" asked Kagome.

"He _did,_ " I smirked. "She is not currently in his service."

"I see…" Inuyasha looked around. "No tricks up your sleeve?"

"Not one," I confirmed. "I only seek to escape Naraku's clutches and be my own person. I enjoy destruction and the like as much as the next demon, but it is not a necessity for me. I'd rather waste my time elsewhere doing things that actually matter."

"Fair enough," said Inuyasha. "We'll be there at dusk. Tomorrow."

I reached for my feather. "Sounds like we have a solid plan, then."

"Please tell Sango we are on our way," said Miroku. He couldn't hide the tone of desperation in his voice. I admired the monk as a warrior but his apparent pining after Sango was starting to annoy me. It was really none of my business but it sounded like he already had his chance with her.

"Will do, sir monk," I promised, keeping my pleasant demeanor. He was an ally, regardless. And Sango's friend. That alone warranted my respect. A hardened, confident smile formed on the monk's face.

"Alright, Kagura," said Inuyasha. "Tomorrow night, Naraku is going down!"

I threw up my feather and laughed as I hopped onto it and soared away. The strangest mixture of anxiety and a sudden lightness in my chest gave me hope for the future.

* * *

I could see Kanna waiting for me in the courtyard as I descended from the sky. I opted for a more dramatic entrance, inspired by my newfound confidence; I leapt off my feather about two stories up. I landed hard, but unharmed, one knee down, my other foot planted firmly to the ground. I held out my hand; my feather fluttered perfectly into my palm.

"Kanna." Sometimes I wished she wasn't simply the void. Nonetheless, she was still my 'sister'.

"Welcome back, Kagura," said Kanna. I pretended she was happy for my return.

"What brings you out?" I asked.

"Master Naraku wishes for your presence in his chambers," stated the ghostly yokai child.

"Of course." I arose and tucked my feather back into my hair.

I followed Kanna inside and through the many hallways until we reached our destination. It was no surprise that Naraku had declared the dead lord's bedroom as his new lair. Naraku had consumed everything the handsome young prince was, from his life to his precious mortal soul. Nothing remained except this haunted castle and the false body that Naraku now possessed.

Kanna opened the door and we stepped inside. The room was dark. Naraku sat in the very corner, looking pale as ever. The room reeked of death and miasma.

"Kagura, you've returned already," observed Naraku.

"I get bored easily," I said. "Send me on a real mission next time."

"Oh?" Naraku raised an eyebrow.

I decided to play along, not wanting to arise any inkling of suspicion of my impending betrayal. "Why do you insist I taunt them with demon swarms and your insects? I am more than capable of taking them out on my own."

"You are far too confident, Kagura. Your naivete will be your demise."

I scowled at him. "What is it you need from me?"

Naraku let out a heavy sigh. "See to it that Rouge does not escape. I may be… absent… over the next few days or so. I have subdued her with the most hellacious imagery I could conjure. She's currently trapped in her own mind. Physical torture didn't do anything to that one. She simply does not care."

"I see. I take it as I am to relieve Kohaku soon? Assuming he is on guard currently."

"You thought right, Kagura," said Naraku. "I want you two on rotating shifts. Kanna will be overseeing as well, in between visiting with me so I can see…"

"What do you want me to do with Sango?" I asked, curious.

Naraku grimaced. "Take her with you, lock her away, too. I don't care. Just see to it that neither she nor Rouge escape. Or in Sango's case, ensure she does not… expire… of her own hand."

I bowed. "Yes, sir."

"You may leave, Kagura," said Naraku. A weakness was in his voice. He was trying hard to hide it. "I'll speak with you soon."

* * *

"Kohaku!"

The boy looked up at me as I approached. He blinked a few times before standing at attention.

"Yes, Kagura?"

"You are relieved of duty," I commanded.

"Yes, ma'am." He walked past me, beginning his journey back to his room. He stopped as he passed Sango, who was trailing about ten paces behind me, slowed by her recent injuries and lack of sleep.

"Kohaku…" she said his name quietly.

"Miss Sango," said Kohaku. "You're injured…"

Sango cast her gaze down and rubbed her bandaged arm with her re-broken dominant hand. "I'll be fine…" The boxer's fracture was her own doing this time, although I could not entirely condemn her for her self-destructive activities.

A rather violent nightmare interrupted her slumber last night. She woke up in a panic. I couldn't calm her down quickly enough and she was stronger than my own half-asleep restraint. Sango had swung at me, believing me to be her attacker. I managed to restrain her once more until she was fully awake. Her awakening did not bode well; she was confused, scared, and angry. She was angry at herself for being frightened, for having the nightmare, and for attacking me.

Sango angrily punched the bedroom wall with enough force to rebreak her hand. This resulted in her added frustration at herself. I almost wanted to slap her for her outburst but chose not to for many reasons. I couldn't bring myself to cause her anymore pain.

I tuned out the two taijiya siblings behind me and turned my attention to the fire demon in front of me. She hung from the ceiling in shackles, her clothing tattered and torn. Blood smeared her skin and her hair was matted.

"Rouge?" I called. She twitched, unconscious. I looked around the ground, quickly spotting a stone that likely broke from the architecture at some point. I stood up and tossed it at Rouge. It hit her in the shoulder, startling her awake.

"Huh? What's going on?" she looked around, groggy.

"Good morning, sunshine," I greeted.

"Fuck you, Kagura!" There's the Rouge I knew.

"I see you are pleasant as always," I remarked. Out of my peripheral vision, I spied Kohaku giving Sango an awkward hug before saying his goodbyes and heading off toward the stairs. Sango was soon at my side.

"Rouge," greeted the slayer.

"Slayer…" Rouge swung slowly from the ceiling, unamused. "I suppose you two will be my company this evening? What a delight!" This bitch was warped. _Can't blame her…_

"Unfortunately." I actually thought I could like her for a moment last night, in the midst of her sad revelation and sob story coming to light in the moonlight. She was back to her annoying, pompous self now, however. Albeit she seemed a bit more unstable. Her energy was fluctuating.

"Are you going to beat me, too?" asked Rouge. "Go on ahead! Or better yet, just end me and get it over with!"

"Are you meaning to say you no longer desire your revenge?" I asked.

Rouge was silent for a moment. "I'll never get it. Not in here…"

I felt Sango grab my hand, interlacing her fingers with mine. "Sango…" I cautioned. I still did not trust _anyone_ with our secret… relationship. Rouge was neither friend nor foe. I felt something small and metal in my palm and clenched it as Sango released my hand. _A key…_

I looked to Sango, surprise adorning my features. "I got it from Kohaku."

"Hmm…" _Leverage… possibly._

"What are you two whispering about?" asked Rouge. She craned her neck to look at us as she slowly spun around. "What have you got? Is that drugs? I would like some, if so!"

I cringed. Rouge was out of her mind. She had every right to be, but still. "It's a key, you wretch."

Her eyes widened. "Is that _my_ key? Are you going to let me out?"

"Maybe…" I answered. I looked around. It was just the three of us. "Rouge…" Revealing our plan to her was a heavy gamble. "Can we trust you?"

"I have no fucking idea," rambled the fire demon, "will you let me dismember that motherfucker if you let me out? I want his blood. I crave his demise."

I looked to Sango, unsure. Rouge was clearly teetering on the edge of insanity. Sango's eyes widened and she shook her head. I examined the key and tucked it away inside my robes, next to my fan.

"I'm not stupid; I know you two are plottin' shit!" Rouge called out. "I want in on it!"

I took out my fan. Tonight was going to be long. Maybe I shouldn't have woken her up… but then again, she would be a very powerful force to be reckoned with tomorrow night. She alone would keep Naraku very busy while Sango and I escaped with Kohaku to join the others.

"Rouge," I began again, "what exactly are your plans once you leave here?"

"By 'here', if you mean this cell, my plans are to rip that monster Naraku to tiny little shreds and then set the remains on fire…"

"Ok… well, that seems a bit hasty. You lack tact." I called her out.

" _Fuck tact!_ He killed my entire damn family! _And he killed me!_ " Rouge snarled, swaying from her chains.

I put my hand to my forehead. I would prefer if Rouge could be of some help during the upcoming battle, but I couldn't trust that she wouldn't just go off and confront Naraku on her own again. That would ruin the entire plan. If she were to be apprehended before the plan came to full fruition, it would spell disaster for me and Sango. I admired the kid's spirit but she had to calm down and consider the consequences of her actions.

"Rouge, I _get_ that," I said, trying very hard not to lose my patience. "You just have to—"

"What? What do I have to do now? You have no fucking idea, Kagura! You know nothing of my plight!"

I growled and raised my fan. " _Dance of-!"_

I felt Sango's soft but firm grip on my wrist, stopping my impending attack. She looked from me to Rouge, a hardened expression on her face and emotion filling her eyes.

"Rouge, I _do_ understand you, completely," Sango's words were heavy with conviction. "Have you forgotten our warnings? Are you aware of how Kohaku and I both came to be here in this wretched place?" Sango gently pushed past me and stood in between me and Rouge's cell. She gripped the bars and stared Rouge in the eyes.

"Naraku set me and my fellow slayers up! He posed as the lord of the castle and summoned us here on a routine extermination that went horribly awry. He possessed Kohaku and forced him to kill our brothers- and sisters-in-arms! He made Kohaku kill _our father_!" Sango pushed against the bars on the cell, her knuckles turning white as her grip tightened. "After they were all dead, Kohaku's possession lifted so he could see what he had done! I'll never forget the look on his face upon realizing he held the blade that took them all down…"

Sango pushed herself away from the cell and turned around. She took a deep breath and wiped angry tears from her eyes before looking over her shoulder at Rouge once more. "Next, my brother and I were shot down by arrows, declared insane." She faced the caged beast, shaking with rage. "I was buried alive. I clawed my way out of my own grave and was nursed back to health by the young prince, whose form Naraku now possesses. I overheard Prince Kagewake discussing the fate of my village with Naraku, who told him that Inuyasha was the one responsible for all the deaths!"

"Naraku offered me a jewel shard and implanted it in my back. I knew I was near death but I wanted to live long enough to avenge my people." Sango clenched her fists and held her arms stiff at her sides. "I soon found out that Inuyasha was not responsible and that it was Naraku all along. I also learned that my younger brother was now in his employment, also resurrected by a jewel shard but devoid of all memory, for better or worse." She approached Rouge's cell, her confidence still standing strong but her tone softening. "I joined Inuyasha and his friends, as we share a common goal of Naraku's destruction. We have been fighting him ever since, for over a year now. Almost two…"

Rouge was silent; her expression had softened gradually over Sango's monologue. The fire demon for once had no words. "Sango…"

"I was captured during our latest pursuit of him," said Sango, "I have been here as his prisoner of war for nearly a month now. And it sickens me every day that I am here, in this position, powerless; while he goes about his business of lying and pillaging and creating ruin and chaos wherever he walks. I want nothing more than to free Kohaku of his clutches and destroy him. He's taken everything from me, Rouge. _Everything._ " Her voice trembled with that last word.

"Kagura may not know the specificities of your quandary with Naraku, but I think I have a pretty decent idea. So do not assume my intentions or mistake my offer of an alliance as naivete or weakness," Sango continued. Confidence was in her words, strength in her voice. "I have been through hell, Rouge. I am living in it right now. I have been since I unearthed my own grave. I empathize with you but do not view your dilemma as something truly remarkable. It's Naraku's same old disgusting treachery."

A tension filled the room. I had nothing to say. I was in awe of Sango's impromptu speech. The confidence she displayed just now was inspiring to say the least. I found myself inwardly swooning over her behavior; although I recognized now was certainly not the time or place for such adolescent whims.

"Rouge, our friends are on their way here, right now," Sango continued. I was shocked at her confession. I really hope she had gotten through to the young fire demon. It appeared so, as Rouge had yet to even make a peep since Sango verbally tore into her. "You can either lend us your support or you can rot in here. It's your choice." _Damn._

I smirked at the astonishment present on Rouge's face. It took her a moment to form a coherent sentence. "I'll help you," she finally stated. "Will you let me go, then?"

Sango looked to me then back at Rouge. "No. Not yet."

"Why?" asked Rouge.

"We can't risk you running around the castle wreaking havoc," I spoke up. Rouge glared daggers at me, her amethyst eyes burning with rage.

Sango interrupted whatever rude sentence was on the tip of Rouge's tongue. "She's right. Besides, you're in no shape to fight. Lie low and rest, if you can. We will need you at full strength tomorrow."

Rouge groaned. "Ok… I guess… Will you at least get me my weapons and armor back?"

"Maybe," I answered, "where did they go?"

"Naraku gave them to Kohaku earlier. I don't know what he did with them…"

"We'll find them, Rouge," reassured Sango. She reached into her kimono and held out a silver dagger. The same one she stole from Rouge a few days ago and used to stab Naraku with.

"That's mine! Where did you find that?" asked Rouge.

Sango flung the blade into the cell. It lodged between two stones in the wall, behind Rouge. "Don't worry about it." She looked to me, a small half-smile tugging at her lips.

"So, when should we expect company?" asked Rouge.

"Tomorrow at dusk," I replied, sitting on the floor across from Rouge's cell. Sango soon joined me.

"What's the plan, exactly?"

"Inuyasha and his friends are going to storm the castle. That will no doubt get Naraku's attention. He will be in his weakened state, as he is a half-demon, and will be caught off guard. Still, he will go investigate or at least send someone else to do so. Should he send me, I will take Kohaku with me and Sango will come free you so the two of you may join the battle and escape. If he sends anyone else, expect me to be your relief."

"Ok… sounds straightforward enough," said Rouge.

Somehow, I managed to stay awake the entire night. Sango fell asleep a couple hours before sunrise. Rouge surprised me; she had actually become pleasant conversation over the course of the night. She called me out on my protectiveness of Sango. I did not have an answer for her, as regardless of recent pleasantries, I did not owe her one. Rouge left well enough alone and dropped the subject with a knowing smile on her face.

"You better get some sleep, Rouge," I warned. "Regeneration works better with adequate sleep."

"Ah, the day is still young and so am I," mused Rouge. "Sleep will find me eventually, be it delirium or something else entirely…" I shook my head. I recently learned she was only about Kohaku's age in demon years. Maybe a bit older. Her apparent intelligence and experience in battle led me to initially believe she was older; however, her short fuse and impulsivity betrayed her. She was much younger than Sango or myself, at least. _What a pity…_

Footsteps were approaching; a gait that sounded like that of Kohaku. The boy was indeed approaching us; I was happy to see him and be relieved of my shift.

"Kagura," said Kohaku. He yawned. "My turn."

I turned to Sango and gently shook her shoulder. She slowly woke up, looking around and blinking the sleep from her tired eyes. I stood up and helped her to her feet before handing Kohaku the key to Rouge's cell.

Sango and I began the longer than usual trek back to my room, on the other side of the castle. We passed by the room where my heart was kept, the place where Rouge was resurrected. I paused briefly at the doorway. I felt a beckoning from within.

_Not now…_

"What's wrong, Kagura?" asked Sango.

I couldn't take my eyes off the door. "Nothing," I replied. I walked ahead of her, gently grabbing her hand as I did so, in a silent beg for her to follow me. "Let's go get some sleep, dear." I felt the strangest feeling until we were back in our hall, far from that dreaded chamber.

We made it back to my room, both exhausted. I collapsed onto my bed, Sango soon falling beside me. Neither of us even bothered changing clothes or messing with the blankets. I just put my arms around her and pulled her close, resting my chin on top of her head. Sango returned the embrace; I could feel her heartbeat. I smiled as I held her and sleep claimed us both.

We were so close to leaving this place. I could almost taste our freedom and our potential vengeance. Even if we couldn't kill Naraku tomorrow night, if we could at least escape… I would be content with that. I longed to be free as the wind and go where ever I pleased. I think I would stay with Sango for a while, though, as long as she and her friends would have me.

We did have a common goal, after all. The terrible thing that draws us all together. This is who we are, I suppose. A resistance of sorts. Unfortunate souls brought to life, cursed, and haunted by the sacred Shikon jewel and the destruction that follows it. _This is who we are… products of war… but who will we become?_

_Who will I become?_


	20. Chapter Nineteen: ...I Give You Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: "Ladies and Gentlemen... I Give You Hell" by Capture the Crown]

_It was almost time._

I have been watching the sun slowly begin to set outside my bedroom window; the light blue skies and white clouds gave way to a remarkable transformation into orange and purple. There had been no sign of Naraku yet today. I went about my daily chores and waited patiently to be summoned forth for some errand or related menial task. It never happened. The anticipation was starting to drive me mad.

Was it all a dream? What if they didn't come? What if Naraku knew somehow?

Rouge's armor and sword sat in the corner of my room, ready and waiting to be returned to their owner. I found them while cleaning in the old armory earlier, along with Sango's slayer armor. I was able to bring both back to my quarters and begin small repairs. Soon it would be time to relieve Kohaku of his shift guarding the fire demon.

The vague plan was for Sango or myself to go set Rouge free, depending on who all was sent to defend the castle when Inuyasha's pack attacked. Sango had spent the morning and early afternoon resting in my room at my request. She understandably hated her room: I wanted her to be rested for the impending battle. Sango reluctantly went back to her room about an hour ago, however, in case Naraku happened by. As much as I did not want to leave her side and leave her vulnerable to his cruelty, we had both decided it best to be apart at the beginning of the siege, so as to lower any possible suspicion.

My eyes widened as I saw the serene orange hue of the sunset turn a glowing violent red, sparks in the sky. An explosion soon followed.

_They're here…_

I rushed to my window and looked down into the courtyard. Inuyasha stood in the middle of the scene, red tetsusaiga on point, Miroku and Kagome behind him. Shippo and Kirara soon landed nearby; the kitsune riding atop the demon cat like a tiny horseman of the apocalypse.

"Naraku! IT'S OVER!" screamed Inuyasha. Kagome raised her bow and arrow, ready to aim. Miroku assumed a defensive stance on his other side.

I felt the familiar summoning pulse from within my very core. I was the chosen one, apparently.

There was a knock at my bedroom door. It slid open, revealing Kohaku.

"Kagura," he said, voice low and monotonous, "we have guests. Naraku needs us to go deal with them."

I frowned. I was hoping only one of us would be sent. "What about Rouge?" I asked.

"She is of no threat currently. We have bigger problems," said Kohaku. He promptly turned and began a sprint down the hall. I listened closely until I could no longer hear his footsteps before venturing out of my room. I cautiously glanced down both directions of the hall before sliding open the door to Sango's room, directly across from mine.

"Sango!" The slayer quickly approached me. "It's time!"

"They're here?" she asked, excitement in her voice.

I nodded. "Yes." I looked around again. "Unfortunately, I am being summoned to fight…" I reached into my robes for the key to Rouge's cell. I gave it to Sango, my hands lingering on hers. "Go release Rouge. Her armor is in my room, along with yours. Kohaku is already joining the fight."

"Kohaku?"

"Yes…" I looked away from her. "I think he is under Naraku's spell for the time being."

Sango hung her head. "Please don't let any harm come to him. What are we going to do? I'm not leaving here without him, Kagura!"

On the inside, I was beginning to panic a little. We could always just take him with us, but there was no guarantee he would not become possessed by Naraku again in the future. I had no idea how he controlled the boy.

"We'll figure it out," I said. _Pulse…_ My ruby eyes met her beautiful topaz gaze. _We have to save the boy, too… I can't let her down. I refuse…_ I put one hand to Sango's cheek, gently resting the other on her hip. I pulled her close and left a brief kiss on her lips. _Pulse…_ "Sango, I have to go!" _This may be the last time I get to kiss her so freely…_

I left Sango standing in the doorway, confused and a little flustered, if my eyes did not deceive me. I sprinted across the hall back into my room, opting for a dramatic exit through my bedroom window to enter the battle outside. Before I jumped, I looked over my shoulder one last time at Sango. "Sango! Move! Now!" She straightened her posture at the urgency in my voice and made a motion to collect the armor and sword from the corner, a determined look returning to her eyes. I liked to see that.

I leaped out the window, doing a somersault in the process and landing with great poise in the courtyard below.

"Kagura, how nice of you to join!" yelled Miroku as he dodged Kohaku's kusarigama. _The boy sure is quick to act._

"I wouldn't have it any other way, monk!" I yelled. I could hear buzzing overhead. I looked up to see a swarm of saimyosho hovering above us, watching. I hesitantly pulled out my fan. I had to make some kind of believable scene for the time being. Out of my peripheral vision, I could see Inuyasha charging at Kohaku and swinging his sword to exterminate a few nearby saimyosho.

Miroku approached me. I looked to the insects above me. "Miroku…" I held up my fan. "I'm sorry, monk. Just go with it. I promise…" I waved my fan in his direction, putting absolutely no effort into the motion.

Miroku looked startled for a moment. "Kagura! What-?" He soon realized my winds were nowhere near lethal; the poorest act I could put on.

The monk and I would continue our false spar for as long as we could, while Inuyasha and Kagome chased Kohaku and destroyed the place in the process. Kirara and Shippo soon began dispatching the saimyosho.

After about fifteen minutes of useless chaos, Kanna nonchalantly strolled into the middle of the small battlefield.

_Sango, please hurry. I don't know how much longer I can keep up the act for…_

* * *

_[Sango's point of view.]_

I ran.

I ran as fast as I could down the halls, trying desperately to remember the exact directions to the dungeon where Rouge was being kept. I could hear the explosions and battle cries outside, signifying the fight had begun. It scared me to no end knowing that Kohaku was battling against them, possibly with Naraku at his side. But I did not know for sure…

Equally terrifying to me was acknowledging the possibility that I may get caught myself. I did not know exactly who all was out there right now. Neither Kagura or myself had even seen Naraku all day…

I paused at the bottom of a stairwell. I had two options, down or forward. I could not remember where to go. Panic began to well inside me as I felt the floor shake beneath my feet. Heart racing, I went with my instincts and ran down the stairs. At the very bottom, I tripped, dropping the armor and weapon from my hand with a loud clatter.

I hastily pushed myself up on my hands and knees and looked around, listening closely. I could hear nothing in my immediate vicinity and slowly collected the dropped items. Once back on track, I began a silent sprint down the hall, a greater caution guiding my actions and keeping my haste in check. I had to be careful, still.

Once again, I passed the small set of stairs leading down to the foreboding room concealed by a set of blood red doors. I paused and stared for a while, in an unplanned, sickening trance. I had been drawn to this location before. Whenever I happened across it, I always felt the most unpleasant curiosity.

An explosion outside and another shake to the architecture snapped me back to the present. I had a mission to attend to! I shook my head and took off past the alluring area and soon recognized my surroundings as the entrance to the dungeon. I sprinted down the steps two at a time and ran down the hall until I was at the last cell, Rouge's.

"Took you long enough, slayer!" called Rouge, still suspended from the ceiling by her wrists.

I dropped her belongings, ignoring her remark. I quickly produced the key to Rouge's cell and began fumbling with the lock. It clicked open with ease and I pulled the door open by the bars. I rushed over to Rouge and examined the shackles on her wrists, hoping the key fit those as well. It would appear so.

It did not take long to free the fire demon. She fell ungracefully to the floor with a low "ow". I stood before her and held out my hand to assist. Rouge got up on her own accord and uselessly brushed the dirt from her body. She stood mere centimeters away, never averting her amethyst gaze from me. I felt a little threatened by her presence currently. I could feel her anger and see the thirst for revenge in her eyes.

"Thank you, slayer," said Rouge. She walked past me and began equipping her ancestral kimono and armor. I watched her pick up her sword last, smiling wickedly as she wiped the blade with her sleeve and stared at her reflection.

"You and the wind witch have made a wise decision," said the fire demon. "I will not let either of you down; Naraku will surely pay with the appropriate amount of blood loss." She eyed me curiously, looking me up and down. Rouge bit her lip and frowned. "Something is missing from you, mortal…" She looked past me, back into her cell and soon walked that way.

Rouge walked to the back wall and bent over to collect something. I heard the small sound of blade against stone and Rouge soon approached me. "It's dangerous to go alone; here, take this!" The fire demon handed me her silver dagger that I had managed to lodge in the wall the previous night.

"Thank you, Rouge," I said, turning the small blade in my hands.

"Think nothing of it!" proclaimed Rouge. She unsheathed her sword. "Now, let's go squash this spider!" She took off down the hall and up the stairs, motioning for me to follow.

I chased after her, slightly entertained. As we ran, Rouge would often wave her sword at objects as we passed, carelessly knocking them over, shouting, and carrying on like a lunatic.

I slowed my pace for a reason I could not even comprehend until I was at a complete pause. At the top of the set of stairs leading the crimson doors.

"Hey, Rouge, wait!" I called out. I looked around; Rouge was nowhere in sight. I turned back to the doors and then looked at the dagger in my hands.

* * *

_[Kagura's point of view.]_

_Sango, where are you?_

I couldn't keep up the farce much longer.

" _FIRESTARTER!"_

I was never happier to see purple flames erupt from the ground as a wall crumbled about twenty paces to my right.

"Did ya miss me?" asked Rouge.

"Rouge!" One of Kagome's arrows flew past me on purpose.

"What the hell?" asked Rouge. "I thought they were on our side!"

"They are," I answered. _Perfect timing._

"Naraku! Come out and fight us, you son of a bitch!" screamed Rouge as she walked angrily onto the battle scene. She knocked over a pillar, toppling a balcony as she passed.

Low, evil laughter echoed around the courtyard. Everyone froze and surveyed the area, even Kohaku.

"Where are you?" yelled Inuyasha. "Show yourself!"

In a whirlwind of miasma, Naraku materialized in front of us, saimyosho hovering obediently around him, Kanna at his side. Kohaku took point in front of them all. His chocolate brown eyes were still empty as Kanna's soul. He raised his weapon.

"Kohaku! What gives?" yelled Rouge. She approached the boy in a confident stride. "Are you happy being a puppet or what? Why protect this monstrosity?"

Kohaku watched her, ready to strike. I really did not want them to fight; I could not be so certain that Rouge would not kill him if he got in the way.

Kohaku threw his blade. Rouge dodged it and lunged at him. She was fast enough to catch him by the wrists. "Snap out of it!" He struggled against her and she threw him to the ground.

"Rouge! Don't hurt him!" I yelled, approaching them both. Rouge stood over him, sword raised.

"Well, if she's got _him_ covered, I guess I'll just have to focus on you, Naraku!" Inuyasha charged toward us, leaping into the air at the last moment. "WIND SCAR!" He sliced the air with the tetsusaiga, sending a golden yellow energy blast at Naraku.

"Kagura! Rouge! Duck!" I felt the wind being knocked out of me as the fire demon and I were both tackled to the ground by Miroku. An enchanted arrow from Kagome soared overhead shortly after our fall.

Naraku's eyes widened as the arrow struck his shoulder. It tore through his kimono and barely grazed his skin.

"Got him!" I heard Kagome cry from behind us somewhere.

I stood up, followed in suit by the monk and fire demon. "Are you two ok?" asked Miroku. I nodded. Kohaku made it to his feet as well, flinging the kusarigama at us. We dispersed and Rouge soon gave chase to the boy.

A blast of dark energy barely missed Miroku and I as we ran. I threw my feather up and mounted it, bringing the monk with me. I peered over the edge as we flew up, watching Inuyasha dodge Naraku's energy blasts. Kirara and Shippo were back at it flying around and burning through the saimyosho with foxfire.

"Kagura, where's Sango?" asked Miroku.

"She should be joining us soon," I stated. I was a little worried myself. I thought surely she would have entered the scene with Rouge. I changed the subject, partially due to my own anxiety on the matter and partially due to the battle at hand. "Miroku, can you use your wind tunnel?" I directed us down to land.

"I don't think it would be wise; there are still just enough saimyosho around…" Miroku left the feather.

I also stood on the ground. "Damn…"

An explosion of light and miasma yielded Inuyasha soaring toward us. The hanyou landed on his back and slid across the ground, hands still clasped tightly around tetsusaiga's hilt.

"Inuyasha!" we both cried simultaneously.

Inuyasha growled and slowly stood up. "That motherfucker… don't worry, I'll get him!" I could see the soft glow of Kagome's arrows ahead through the dissipating miasma. The rough outline of Kirara could be seen charging at the mass I presumed to be Naraku. A small burst of foxfire soon followed, with a faint battle cry and purple flames in tow.

"We've gotta get back out there!" Inuyasha turned to us. "He's certainly weakened, Kagura. I'm shocked. I think we can get him. If we all attack at once…" Another yet smaller explosion appeared, followed by a cry of pain.

"Kagome!" Inuyasha yelled and ran back to the battlefield. Miroku and I followed.

Kohaku came running at us from the chaos, Kirara and Shippo in hot pursuit. The boy flung his blade at me. I dodged just in time and darted away.

"Kagura, are you really betraying us?" asked Kohaku, his voice as empty as his eyes. I ignored his comment and ran, leading him back into the main battle.

Upon my return to the courtyard, I saw Inuyasha and Miroku both crouched beside Kagome; her shoulder was bleeding. A wound about the right size and shape to be caused by a blade such as the kusarigama. Kirara and Shippo hovered in the air; only a handful of saimyosho remained. Naraku stood at the castle entrance, a cruel smile on his face. The demon still did not look his usual self.

"Well done, Kohaku," said Naraku.

Kohaku sped past me and stood at Naraku's side, weapon raised.

"Stand down," commanded Naraku. Kohaku lowered his weapon. "Kagura…" The evil demon began a slow stride toward me.

I looked around for any sign of Rouge. A steaming pile of rubble was nearby and I could faintly pick up the fire demon's scent wafting from that direction. _No…_

"Kagura, do you really dare to defy me?" I did not like the look in Naraku's crimson eyes as he neared me. He still had my heart…

Naraku smirked and held out his hand. A small red orb appeared in his palm, gently pulsing in a rhythm. I felt my stomach drop. He gave the small orb a squeeze. A terrible pain ripped through me and I held my hands to my chest.

"You forget, I still have power over you," continued Naraku. "Remember I am the one to give you life… I will also be the one to bring you death." He laughed cruelly and gave my heart another squeeze. I cried out and fell to the ground.

"Oh my god!" I heard Kagome gasp. "She's dying…" They sounded closer. Thankfully, it sounded as if the miko was ok for the time being. "Inuyasha!" she cried. "Get him with the wind scar!"

My vision was blurring in and out. Another sharp pain seized my chest and I closed my eyes, curling on the ground in a fetal position.

_Sango… please hurry…_

* * *

_[Sango's point of view.]_

Lockpicking was never my strong point. It was a skill that came in handy very rarely. My skill level with it was novice, at best. I stuck the dagger into the keyhole once more and twisted the tip around at an angle. Something clicked. I tugged at the mechanism to no avail. _Almost…_

I pocketed the dagger and took a step back. Brute force may be my best bet here. I summoned my strength and kicked the lock as hard as I could with my heel. The lock broke and fell to ground. I cautiously pulled the doors open and peered inside the room.

It was almost pitch-black inside, with the exception of a blue light emanating from one of the back corners. Carefully and quietly, I stepped inside. I swear the light appeared to grow as I made my entrance. With the recent adjustment, I noticed a lonely shelf at the end of the room, sitting low on the back wall. Two small jars sat atop it with a small chest in the middle. The doors slid shut behind me, all on their own, and I could not stifle my small gasp.

I found solace in the fact that I was alone. But what if I can't get out?

Something rustled from somewhere within the room. I pulled out my dagger and held it in front of me, my guard fully raised. I examined my surroundings. The light fluctuated a little. I slowly began approach to the end of the room, where the jars were. I could hear the smallest, strangest sound, pulsing in a rhythm. The sound grew louder as I drew closer to the jars.

One of the jars had a striped pattern of maroon and white, with a blue feather-like design on the lid. The other was all white, with the exception of a pattern of black flowers going all the way around the middle. I crouched down and examined the details up close. Carefully, I put my hand on the lid of the jar with the feather-like design on it. I opened the jar with care, about dropping the lid as soon as I glimpsed the contents.

It was a heart.

I didn't know whether to be terrified or sick… _This must be Kagura's heart…_ The image of Kagura's beautiful face infiltrated my psyche. Memories of her kindness and comfort replayed in my mind. Every time she healed my injuries and took care of me, every time she held me and offered comfort when the nightmares got the best of me… I couldn't leave this place without her heart.

The ceiling above me shook and a few pebbles fell to the ground. I didn't have much time.

The light dimmed for a moment and out of the corner of my eye, I could have sworn I saw a shadow. I spun around, holding out the dagger.

"Who's there?"

Silence.

The mirror in the corner began glowing an even brighter blue, so bright, I momentarily shielded my eyes with my hands. The intensity died down and the color changed slowly from blue to a cool violet. I walked over to it, stopping about five paces away.

A shadow appeared within the mirror. I raised my weapon.

"Who are you?!"

The shadow figure came closer to the glass, until I could clearly make out a face.

" _Rouge?!"_

I stepped over to the mirror, lowering the dagger, curiosity piqued.

"Yes?" asked the girl in the mirror.

"What's going on?" _If Rouge is out there, then who is this…?_ I had a bad feeling…

"I don't know who you are or what you are doing here," said the Rouge-like person. "I just know I have been separated from my body and the rest of my spirit…"

"Rest of…?" I asked. My heart began to race. This was certainly an unexpected variable…

"I was brought back by dark magic to fulfill an evil promise. Cursed to exact misplaced revenge. I'm only a catalyst to further corrupt the sacred Shikon Jewel… Part of my soul was taken just before my resurrection. I felt it leave my body as I was wrongfully reanimated."

"Are you Rouge? Or is she out there? I am not sure I follow…" I was becoming very worried for both myself in here, and my friends, out there fighting alongside the fire demon I was currently speaking to in a mirror.

"My body is out there, fighting with reckless intentions and fueled by the rightful desire of revenge. That's not my entire soul up there." The spirit looked up, a sad and wonder-filled expression on her face. She looked back to me, a somber calmness in her violet eyes. "I am empathy and understanding. I am love and righteousness. Hatred and cynicism have walked the earth in my name. Brutality and greed. Violence and revenge."

"I see…" Naraku couldn't contain the entire warrior's spirit…

"What is your name, human woman?"

"Sango."

"And what are your intentions, Sango?"

"I… don't know…" I was here talking to a spirit that should not logically exist—a spirit trapped in a mirror. "I felt drawn to this room…" I looked to the jar containing Kagura's heart.

"You want to free the wind demon," noted the spirit.

I nodded, feeling a heat on my cheeks and the threatening sting of tears in my eyes. "I need to free my brother as well."

"The young taijiya boy?" I nodded once more.

"Naraku's tools and tricks are not as grandiose as he may want the world to believe," said Rouge through the mirror. "You might want to check that box on the shelf, between the two jars."

I was unsure if I should trust this being entirely. She could be another trick of Naraku's or a malicious entity trying to convince me to let her loose into the world to cause even more mayhem. I walked over to the shelf, slow to take my eyes off the spectre in the looking glass. I crouched down and opened the chest, half expecting something to jump out and attack. A crudely carved doll was within, similar to Naraku's many golems.

The doll appeared to be wearing a piece of light blue cloth and had a few strands of dark hair tied around it. I reached into the box and picked up the small figure. It was heavier than I expected. I examined the details up close. The cloth was similar to that of Kohaku's kimono and the hairs were dark brown like his as well. My heart raced. I turned to look to the girl in the mirror. Maybe she knew something more?

"You want to break the spell, do you not?" I nodded slowly and then looked back to the figure in my hand.

"You must destroy the golem…"

I eyed her suspiciously. We were still in Naraku's territory. It shouldn't be that easy.

"You do not trust me fully…" The spirit sighed. "I understand… However, you are running out of time. I can see the battle above ground. Your brother and the wind sorceress may not have long."

I swallowed hard and held the dagger tightly. I set the golem doll on the ground and raised my weapon with both hands. I looked to the spirit girl once more.

"If anything terrible happens to him as a result of this, just know that I will kill you." My words were much colder than I imagined.

"Fair enough."

I brought the blade down on the doll. It cracked but did not break. I cried out and hit it a few more times, shattering it on the fourth or fifth strike. A purple shine caught my attention. I brushed the ruined wood and damage aside, revealing a jewel shard. I grabbed it and held it up. It looked as if it had been broken in two pieces. _I wonder if Kohaku has the other half…_ I quickly pocketed the shard and rose to my feet.

"I have assisted you, Sango," came the voice from the mirror. We made eye contact. "Will you help me as well? Free me so I may become one with my body once more. I cannot properly carry out my vengeance from in here." I was still hesitant…

"Ami, Yokama, and Damien deserve to be avenged by someone who truly loves them, not some wrath-born creature who is fueled by violence and bloodlust."

I nodded. I could respect that. "How do I…?"

"Just break the mirror."

"That's it?" Too simple. The spectre nodded. "Ok…" I glanced around the room, unsure what I was expecting. I pulled back my fist and swung hard at the mirror, shattering it. A high-pitched scream was heard and a blinding purple light blasted me backward.

* * *

_[Kagura's point of view.]_

"WIND SCAR!"

The ground cracked open and a yellow wave of light was heading in my direction. My chest still hurt immensely and my limbs were weak.

"Kagura!" I was suddenly snatched up by Kagome, soon riding atop Kirara alongside her. "Are you ok?"

I rubbed my aching chest. "I'll be fine… for how much longer, I am unsure; Naraku holds my heart in his hands…"

"I'm sorry." I looked down to see Inuyasha charging at Naraku, who was apparently missed by the wind scar. Miroku was also running toward them, armed with holy sutras and his staff.

We landed next to a pile of rubble, where Shippo was aimlessly pulling rocks and debris out of the way. Astonishingly, the little fox had removed enough to reveal Rouge's hand.

"Oh no…" gasped Kagome.

"I'm trying! We have to uncover her!" cried Shippo, as he moved another rock out of the way.

"Move, kid, let us get it—" I reached down to assist.

"Kagura, look out!"

"Huh?" I cried out in pain as I felt something sharp pierce the back of my shoulder blade. I was able to turn my head just enough to see Kohaku. He pulled on the chain and yanked the blade out of my flesh. He caught it with ease, keeping his battle stance and watching us menacingly.

"Kohaku! Snap out of it! We're not the enemy!" cried Kagome.

Kohaku raised his weapon and scowled at us, teeth bared like an animal. Kagome raised her arrow next to me.

"Kagome…" I cautioned. Shippo assumed a fighting stance in front of me.

Kohaku motioned to throw his weapon at us once more and stopped mid-action. The blade fell out of his outstretched hand and landed with a sharp noise in the dirt below. Kohaku then fell to his knees, catching himself on his hands.

"Kohaku?" I called to him. I made a step to approach the boy but was stopped by Kagome's hand on my shoulder.

"Kagura… be careful…"

On intuition, I shrugged her hand away and cautiously approached the younger demon slayer. As I drew closer, I could feel that something in his energy had changed.

"Kohaku?" I crouched down beside him. He was breathing heavily, eyes locked to the ground. He muttered something I couldn't quite understand. "Kohaku?"

He snapped his gaze forward and frantically began looking around the area. A panicked look appeared on his face, sweat forming on his brow. He grabbed his weapon and hastily rose to his feet. I stepped back, alarmed by his spastic actions.

"It was here…" I could barely make out his words. He looked at me, fear and… shame?... filling his young features. "It happened here, I'm sure of it…" His gaze briefly directed to Kagome, Shippo, then the battle behind us. "Oh god… It _did_ happen here. It wasn't just a nightmare…"

_Oh no… Is he remembering?_

The boy looked in horror to the weapon in his hands and dropped it. "I killed them all… I killed my father… and my sister…" A tear fell trickled down his cheek. I rushed in front of him and put my hands on his shoulders.

"Kohaku," I said softly. I could hear an explosion in the background. "Kohaku, it was not a dream, but now is not the time… we are in the middle of a warzone—"

A blinding light came flying right at us from the castle entrance. I grabbed Kohaku and dived to the ground, pulling Kagome and Shippo down with us. The light flew right into the rubble, which then began to emanate a purple glow. Rouge's hand twitched. The pile of debris shook and Rouge rose from within it.

"Rouge!" I exclaimed.

She cracked her neck and looked to me. "Where is Naraku?" There was something different about her voice. And the look in her eyes… it was not as… empty… I could only point to the nearby destruction and chaos. Rouge nodded and bent over, digging through the rubble. She soon found her sword, picked it up and hopped out of the ruins. She looked over her shoulder at us. "Thank you, Kagura." With that said, she ran to the battle, sword raised, without another word or so much as a battle cry.

"Kagura, where's Sango? She's still not joined up with us!" said Kagome. She stood up. I followed, grabbing Kohaku on my way.

"Sango's alive?" asked Kohaku through tears.

"Yes," I answered. "Do you not remember? She's been here with us—with you—for nearly a month now!"

"It hurts to remember…" Kohaku drifted off. "Everything hurts…" He was swaying again. I caught him as he leaned toward me. Kagome grabbed his other arm.

"Kohaku, can you fight? At all?" asked Shippo.

We huddled together as a blast of wind erupted from the battle scene; the ground shook beneath us. I heard a few cries of "firestarter" and "wind scar" off in the distance.

"Kohaku, we are fighting Naraku. Do you remember Naraku? Do you remember anything about him?" I asked, desperate. It was only a matter of time before Naraku caught a break and remembered us, _remembered me._ I thanked my lucky stars that he hadn't killed me yet tonight.

We began a careful traverse back to the main battlefield. We would need as much firepower as possible. I knew what Kohaku was capable of, if he would be up for it.

"…Naraku… he's here?" asked Kohaku. It blew my mind how jumbled his brain was at the moment.

"Yes; I just said we are in the middle of fighting him! Now can you fight or not?" I was growing impatient.

Kohaku growled. "He made me do it… all of it…" He shrugged out of our hold. I grinned. _Thatta boy, Kohaku…_

"Kohaku…" Kagome reached after him.

"Naraku!" cried Kohaku as he ran off into the battle, kusarigama raised. The three of us took off after him.

When we reached the scuffle, Naraku and Inuyasha were in the middle of the courtyard, swords interlocked. Both were looking worse for wear. Kohaku, Miroku, Rouge, and Kirara were surrounding them. I pulled out my fan and held it up in defense. Kagome raised her bow and arrow beside me. Shippo bravely took point assuming his little battle stance.

"You're outnumbered, Naraku!" cried Miroku.

"Give up!" Inuyasha shoved into Naraku, knocking him back with his sword and shoulder. The evil demon stumbled and Inuyasha swung at him again, sending a wave of energy his way.

"My turn!" yelled Rouge. She ran at Naraku, her own blade raised. "Flames of Hades!" She jumped into the air and spun, elegantly swinging her sword mid-air. Her action created a reddish-purple tornado of flames.

I smirked as an idea formed in my head. "Dance of blades!" I waved my fan and sent my sharp winds at my former employer and evil sire.

We watched in anticipation as the two attacks combined and seemingly hit their target. When the flames and dust dissipated, only a black scorch mark was present on the ground.

"Did we get him?" asked Rouge.

I was the first to approach the scene. Before I could vocalize the terror I began to feel from within, Naraku had materialized behind me. I felt immense pain in my shoulder as one of his spikes pierced my flesh.

"Kagura, how _dare_ you be so treacherous!" Naraku's foot collided with my back and I fell forward, feeling his spiked appendage slide out of my shoulder.

"Kagura!" cried Rouge. I rolled over and willed myself to enter a crouching stance. Kirara growled and lunged at Naraku, sinking her fangs into his shoulder. Miasma sprayed out of the wound, quickly deterring the demon cat. Kagome, Miroku, and Kohaku covered their mouths as the miasma grew.

"Leave her alone, Naraku!" yelled Kohaku. He charged at us, weapon raised. He jumped into the air about to strike. Naraku's arm transformed into a tentacle and quickly knocked the boy to the ground, the force rendering him unconscious.

"Kohaku!" I cried out. Naraku kicked me in the jaw and I fell backward, my vision darkening for a second.

Naraku looked over his shoulder and sent a massive wave of dark energy in the direction of his gaze. I heard a scuffle and the sounds of metal hitting rock. I slowly rolled over onto my side. Naraku was standing right in front of me. Past his legs, I could see Inuyasha, Rouge, and Miroku in a pile. Inuyasha was struggling to get up, followed by Rouge. The monk did not move.

My attention was drawn from my allies to my own plight by Naraku's foot sorely nudging my ribcage. I forced myself up. I would not go down like this…

"Kagura, you will pay for your betrayal with that which is most precious to you… your wasted life. I'll crush your wicked heart right before your eyes." Naraku held out his palm and summoned forth the glowing red orb representing my heart. He gave it a rough squeeze.

I cried out, doubling over and holding my aching chest with both hands. Naraku laughed darkly and squeezed my disembodied heart once more. I coughed, sputtering out blood. My vision was blurring…

_Is this it?_

_At least I will go out fighting..._

* * *

_[Sango's point of view.]_

Heart racing, I ran as fast as I could through the labyrinth of a castle; all the while, I exhibited extreme caution to the precious item in my arms.

I needed to get Kagura's heart to her. I had already freed Rouge… hopefully… and Kohaku…

I made it to the courtyard entrance and burst through the doors. I was met with the sight of ruin and destruction; the smells of charred architecture and scorched earth filled my nostrils, hinted with the slightest remnants of blood and miasma.

The place was utterly destroyed. I scanned the area and quickly spotted Inuyasha carrying Miroku, Rouge protectively tailing behind him. _Miroku! Please be safe…_ On the other side of the makeshift battlefield was Naraku, standing over someone; who it was, I could not currently tell. Kagome was merely paces away from them, too close for comfort. She was on the ground, peering down at someone, Shippo doing the same. I could not immediately see Kohaku or Kagura, leading me to believe that they may be the objects of Kagome, Shippo, or Naraku's current attentions.

I glanced to Inuyasha, Rouge, and Miroku. Inuyasha set Miroku down behind a fallen pillar. He must have seen me. "Sango!" called out the half-demon. I saw Miroku stir a little and smiled. A small weight left my heart.

Naraku turned around, his eyes quickly set on me. The expression on his face was of pure malice. I glimpsed Kagura on the ground, behind him; her face was pale and slightly bloodied. In Naraku's hand, I saw a small red glow. The jar in my arms shook violently.

_He was killing her!_

Instead of running right at them, I took off to the right, a hasty plan forming in my head. "Inuyasha! Rouge! Do something! I have to get over there!" I was nearly out of breath already.

"Already ahead of you!" Kagome prepared an arrow and pulled it back. She let it go and it shot Naraku in the shoulder, forming a hole and accompanying purifying light as it hit its mark.

As I ran past Kagome, I saw Kohaku slowly sit up with Shippo's aid. "Kohaku!"

"He's fine for now; go get Kagura!" yelled Shippo.

"FLAMES OF HADES!"

"BLADES OF BLOOD!"

Naraku was blasted away from Kagura. I rushed to her side. As I crouched down to her level and set down the jar, I heard an excited roar behind me and was soon knocked to the ground by Kirara. I rolled over on my back and held up my hands as my faithful demon cat lapped at my face and rubbed her snout against me.

"Kirara!" I couldn't help to laugh. "I've missed you, too! But now is not the time!" The neko calmed down at my command and sat patiently beside me. I turned to Kagura, who was slowly sitting up. She held her hand to her chest.

"Kagura…" I reached for the jar beside us and held it out to her. "I have something that belongs to you."

The injured wind demon said nothing but gently took the jar into her shaking hands. Kagura gasped upon realization of what it was. "Sango…" she looked to me, tears welling in her eyes. I smiled and put my hand on her shoulder. Kagura reached into the jar, and for a brief second, felt her own heart. Almost as soon as she touched it, a red light formed around it and it rose out of the jar, then forcibly entered her chest. Kagura fell back a little and I caught her.

We both rose to our feet; I was careful not to let Kagura fall. I stood with her in my arms for a moment, uncaring who would see. The wind sorceress opened her eyes and gasped, placing a hand on her chest. Her eyes widened as she felt her own heartbeat for the first time. "My heart…" She grabbed my hand and placed it over her chest. I felt her heartbeat and couldn't hide the smile forming on my face. I let go of her; she assumed a very confident battle stance, pulling her fan gracefully out of her kimono; her aura and determination strengthened tenfold.

"Where did he go?" I heard Inuyasha behind us. His unanswered question was followed shortly by reprimanding the monk. "Miroku! Are you alright? You should have stayed put!"

"I'm fine," replied the monk. "Sango!" I turned my head and saw Miroku and Inuyasha rushing over to me.

I soon felt Miroku's arms around me. He actually managed to lift me off the ground and spin me around. I held onto him, ignoring the involuntary tense of my muscles at his sudden embrace. I hoped he didn't notice, too. "Miroku…" He set me on the ground, still holding me.

"You're ok!"

I held onto him, never wanting to let go. "Yes…" The tension in my body eased a little. "Where is Naraku?" I did not trust our reunion to be so sweet and painless. I knew better.

I heard Rouge's voice from within an exposed hallway about a yard to our left. "Heheheh… I got him in here…" We all turned the source of the noise.

Inuyasha and Kagome were the first to approach the scene. Kagura, Miroku, and I followed.

"Sango!" I heard Kohaku's voice and soon felt him cling to my arm, reminding me fleetingly of how he would do that when we were younger.

"Kohaku…" I put my arm around him. I heard Kirara growling behind us. I looked over my shoulder to see Shippo riding atop her as they approached.

We collectively peered into the wreckage and the sight before us. Rouge had Naraku pinned under some rubble, standing atop the pile, her sword glowing amethyst and resting just under his chin. Was that a glimpse of _fear_ in Naraku's eyes?

"We got him…" Rouge chuckled. A maniacal, triumphant smile appeared on her face. "Shall I do the honors?"

"No way, fire demon!" said Inuyasha. "His head is mine!" He stepped forward and pushed Rouge out of the way.

The ground below us began to shake. _No… No, no! What's happening?!_

A dark purple aura grew from Naraku to the rocks he was buried under.

"Retreat!" yelled Kagura. We all turned and ran.

A massive explosion of miasma erupted from the ruined building, sending Inuyasha, Rouge, and Kagome flying above us. Everyone else was knocked down from the blast. I was quick to get up, soon helping Kagura and Kohaku to their feet. Kirara, Shippo, and Miroku recovered quickly as well.

Naraku strode confidently toward us through the smoke, although there was a stagger to his gait. He paused and looked past us.

"Get him!" screamed Rouge, as she and Inuyasha charged at Naraku. Kagome was surprisingly right behind them, bow and arrow raised and ready, in spite of the wound on her shoulder. "Firestarter!" The fire yokai slashed at Naraku, a fault line forming that led from herself to the target. Purple flames shot up from the earth.

"IRON REAVER SOUL STEALER!" Inuyasha held tetsusaiga with one hand and slashed at Naraku with the other. Their attacks were joined by a purifying arrow. All three attacks hit Naraku at once.

"Dance of the dragon!" Kagura waved her fan in an elegant dance, creating the largest tornado I had seen her make yet. She sent the cyclone at Naraku, grinning madly at her own actions.

Miroku, Shippo, and Kirara added to the chaos by delivering Naraku a hail of sutras and fire.

I felt so useless, being armed with only my bare hands and a small dagger. This was a battle I longed to be a part of. My revenge was held in check, however, by my little brother clinging to my side. I held him close as we watched the madness unfold.

The combined attacks hit Naraku all at once, in what was arguably the most beautiful display of destruction I had ever witnessed in my life. Yellow, purple, red, and white lights surrounded the demon in a cyclone of devastation. I had to look away when the blinding mushroom cloud erupted from the target. I shielded Kohaku's eyes as well. I felt lightheaded, knowing full well that the exposure to the miasma was setting in. Inuyasha, Miroku, Rouge, and Kagura rushed passed us once the light died down.

There was a literal crater ahead of us, where Naraku once stood.

Kagome stopped beside me and Kohaku, Kirara and Shippo joining as well. "Are you two ok?" asked the priestess. I nodded. I could tell the miasma was finally affecting her, too. I looked to the others and saw Miroku fall forward.

"Miroku!" I broke Kohaku's hold and sprinted over to the monk. I kneeled beside him, putting my arm around his shoulders. "Are you alright? Are you injured?"

"Nothing too major," he said in a rough voice. "This miasma, though… it's lingering…"

"I know…"

Inuyasha, Rouge, and Kagura peered over the edge of the crater. I saw Rouge hop down into it.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Inuyasha yelled. Kagura pulled him back.

It was not too long before heard the undeniable sounds of swords clashing and bodies crashing together.

" _How the hell?!"_ cried Inuyasha.

Rouge dashed madly out of the crater, sword drawn, Naraku in close pursuit. He was damaged, though. Yet fast. As he chased after her, it looked as if he was smoking. Maybe even melting…?

Naraku caught up to her and lunged at her with his sword. She spun around and blocked his attack with her own weapon. Their swords slid apart and she bolted once more, Naraku giving chase yet again. Rouge quickened her pace and Naraku's arm transformed into a tentacle, a sharp spike at its end. He attempted to pierce the fire demon and she seemingly dodged each attack.

Rouge was finally stopped by a trip over some rubble. Naraku towered over her, blade pointed dangerously at her neck. Rouge swung out her leg, kicking him in the shin and knocking him over. The fire demon got up once more and ran. Naraku cursed and sent a blast of dark energy in her direction. The blast hit its target and Rouge cried out as she was thrown forward.

"Rouge!" I cried and made a motion to go to her.

Kagome grabbed my shoulder. "Stay out of it!" She was right…

Rouge was able to get back up at the last second; she narrowly avoided Naraku's blade to her skull as she rolled out of the way and sprinted across the courtyard. She quickly scaled the castle wall and made it to the rooftop. Naraku joined her all too soon, swinging his sword and firing at her once more. The black blast of energy missed her by mere centimeters, blowing a hole in the roof instead.

The fire demon jumped out of harm's way in an eloquent evasive maneuver. She spun around as she landed and raised her weapon with perfect timing. "Had enough yet, Naraku? I'll fight you all night!" Naraku narrowed his eyes at her.

Naraku's sword was pushed down a little by Rouge's blade; she used this to her advantage. Rouge made a motion to stab Naraku. His eyes widened; he grabbed her sword, sending it flying out of her grip and off of the rooftop. I watched her sword fall to the ground below, landing with a sickening, distinct slice as it hit the dirt. Rouge was clearly startled by her disarmament, and nearly lost her footing. Naraku then kicked her in the shins, causing her to fall. The demoness slid towards the edge of the roof, hanging on with her claws, and getting back to her feet.

"Oh my," said Naraku, "No weapon. Whatever shall you do?"

We watched in awe from below as Rouge battled Naraku above. It began to rain, washing away the toxic remains of the miasma. Rouge was starting to falter as she sparred with Naraku. He had managed to stab her once in the side, but she kept on fighting.

Rouge slashed at Naraku with her claws, cutting his chest and shoulder. Naraku responded with a kick to the jaw, sending her flying backwards. "You fight just like that bat demon you called your sister," said Naraku, walking towards Rouge. He swung the sword at her, cutting her back. Rouge groaned in pain. "You'll go down again, just as easily as you did the first time. You and your damned companions." Naraku stomped on Rouge's outstretched hand, and a sickening crunch noise was heard as bones broke. The fire demon cursed in pain.

"Rouge," said Naraku, "You're going to die. You're dying right now. But don't worry," he kicked her in the head. "You'll soon be with your dear sister." Naraku then picked Rouge up by her neck. I swear I could see trace amounts of blood mixed in with the rain water that trickled around their bodies. Rouge struggled in Naraku's grasp, pointlessly digging her claws into his arms.

"Rouge! No!" I yelled. I could feel my anxiety heighten as my heart broke for the young fire demon. Naraku walked to the edge of the rooftop, dangling the struggling demon over the side.

The disgusting sound of pierced flesh and bone echoed throughout the castle grounds, accompanied by a scream of pain and agony. Naraku had driven his sword into Rouge's chest, right below her heart. The next thing that could be heard was Naraku's evil laughter and its horrendous echoing.

Rouge summoned up the very last ounce of her strength and threw her hand over her shoulder, appearing to feel around her back for something. She hacked away at her own skin with her claws and pulled out the jewel shard embedded in her back. Rouge held the shard tight in her fist, then turned her head to face Naraku.

"See you in hell:" Rouge's infamous last words. She glared at Naraku one final time, the light leaving her eyes. Naraku crushed her neck and held her still as he slowly withdrew the blade from her pierced corpse. Rouge's body plummeted to the ground, all of this appearing in slow motion to me.

"ROUGE!" I screamed the demon's name and ran to her lifeless form, tears stinging my eyes.

Rouge was never really an enemy. She was a prisoner of war, like me, in a different way. She did not deserve to die twice, and so young. I kneeled down next to the dead demon and rolled her over onto her back. I was soon joined by Kagura and Kohaku at each side. Slowly, Rouge's fist came unclenched, revealing the jewel shard. The jewel's glow gradually changed from that of a dark, corrupted purple to a light, pure, fuchsia.

Kagome kneeled down beside us and looked to me for silent permission before taking the jewel shard from the deceased fire demon. I took Rouge's hand in both of mine and looked up into the dark, cloudy night sky, letting my tears blend in with the raindrops cooling my face. Kagura and Kohaku both held onto me. I could tell Kohaku was crying, too.

_It's ok, Rouge. You're with Ami, Yokama, and Damien now. You can breathe again._

"I know this is a rough moment," Miroku said softly from behind us, "but does anyone have eyes on Naraku? I did not happen to see where he went after..." He trailed off, unable to finish his sentence. He closed his eyes and held his hand to his face, in the motion of a blessing.

We all began to survey the area, looking for any signs of our nemesis. It would be so like him to slip away so cleanly and quietly after viciously snuffing the life out of someone. Kagura gently closed Rouge's eyes and stood up, holding her fan out defensively. Kagome joined, bow and arrow ready. Kohaku and I were the last to stand up. Our group slowly dispersed, not straying too far apart, for the sake of safety. Inuyasha walked into the middle of the courtyard

"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, YOU FUCKER?" screamed Inuyasha. An uneasy silence fell upon us; even the rain gradually stopped falling.

"Don't worry, Inuyasha," came Naraku's voice, seeming to come from everywhere and nowhere all the same time. "For one thing, you're not really here."

With that said, a huge cloud of miasma appeared out of nowhere, and several whirlwinds of the vapors swirled all over the place. The castle began to deteriorate.

"What's happening?" asked Kohaku, scared. He wrapped his arms around me and I held him closely.

"I don't know…" I answered, closing my eyes and shaking my head. Dirt or some other debris entered my left eye.

"Don't even tell me..." said Inuyasha. "Shit! It's another phantom castle!"

The miasma cloud grew thicker and more dangerous. I could feel the toxins entering my bloodstream; my lungs were finding it harder to breathe. I held onto Kohaku but my grip on him was slipping.

"SANGO! Where are you?" I heard Miroku's voice as my vision blackened and I hit the ground.

* * *

_[Kohaku's point of view.]_

I could literally feel her slipping out of my arms as the miasma thickened and the vapors swirled violently around us. I heard the monk cry out for my sister somewhere around me. I was all disoriented. I fell to the ground, coughing; my own lungs were straining to retain oxygen and put it to good use. I could hear nothing but howling, toxic winds in my ears. I covered my head with my hands and closed my eyes.

So much had happened. I had been rushed by memories all at once—good, bad, and worse. I did not have time to process _any_ of it and still did not, even though that is _all_ I wanted to do. My head throbbed with the worst migraine I ever had; my body ached all over and stung with a thousand cuts and bruises from a battle I did not even know I had been fighting all along.

The wind finally died down. I finally raised my head to examine the wreckage. There was no castle left; only holes in the ground and destroyed earth surrounded us.

"What happened?" I asked, my voice cracking a little. I slowly rose, only to fall unceremoniously to my knees, lightheaded.

The strangely-dressed priestess came to my side. "Kohaku..." She knew my name? _That's right—she traveled with my sister!_

_My sister…_

She was nowhere to be seen. Or Kagura. Or the dead fire demon, Rouge. Inuyasha stood in the middle of the false battlefield, sword raised. He cursed the skies, agony filling his voice. It echoed all around us.

The monk was standing a little farther from us than Inuyasha. He too cried out to the heavens, angrily throwing his staff to the ground.

I had no idea what just happened. I just know that I am me again and I am free. The vulture on my shoulder is gone, along with the biting voice at the back of my mind, telling me to do bad things.

Depression, however, is already sinking in.

Accompanied by guilt. My shameful actions and committed atrocities will probably haunt me forever.

And fear. Fear of the future, I guess.

I gazed at the sky, unable to look at my defeated new companions.

_What happened to my sister?_


	21. Chapter Twenty: Stained Glass Ceilings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: "Stained Glass Ceilings" by The Wonder Years]

It took us a day to get back to the abandoned demon slayer's village. _My old village._ I was bitter the whole time.

All the memories came flooding back, for better or worse, the moment I stepped over the threshold and entered the perimeter of the village. I fell to my knees in tears, the image of my father burned into the backs of my eyelids.

" _Make me proud, my son."_

_Father, I have failed you._

_You died of my hand._

I punched the ground beside me and cried out in agony, tears streaming down my face. Another person cursed my memory, my sister, Sango.

Her unforgettable face still haunted me; she was the angel of my nightmares. I couldn't save her this time. I had a chance to redeem myself after she saved _me,_ like she always did; I blew that chance.

Sango was likely still with _him,_ in _his clutches._ The thought made my blood boil with anger and invited the icy sensations of fear and guilt into my heart. Naraku was the reason for all of this! All of my suffering—and my sister's—was due to him! We fought so hard… and it was not enough, still.

Kagura was gone, too. Probably back with Naraku as well. Where ever they all were. Over the past twenty-four hours, my memories slowly began to integrate into my being in a rough timeline. Things would probably still take a while to sort out and piece together. I remembered Kagura as an ally; she had always helped me on "missions" ( _slaughtering in the name of Naraku…)_ and had defended me a few times to Naraku; those instances of defense, I was previously unaware of. Kagura cared for Sango, too, it seemed.

_At least Sango is probably with her…_

Rouge. I thought of the newly-dead fire demon. I had no quarrel with her that I could remember, short of this strange memory I have of her blaming me for a swarm of bees. We traveled north together with Naraku and Kanna… murdering, pillaging… all so Naraku could get his greedy hands on more sacred jewel shards.

The memories of that trip that were slowly coming back to me made me sick. I had done things that _no one_ should be proud of. I was only thirteen and could be fairly certain within the privacy of my broken mind that my kill count rivaled that of somewhere between my sister's and Inuyasha's. Another memory from my northern excursion bled into my consciousness; I briefly remembered drinking alcohol with Rouge, for the first time in my life.

" _Kid, you threw up everything but your memories… Wait…"_

I almost laughed at the comedic irony of the late demon's words. I threw up instead, right at the village entrance.

* * *

"They can't be far… what if Kagura just got her directions mixed up?"

"No; technically her directions were correct. And I doubt she knew it was a phantom castle. From what little I could tell, she was just as shocked as the rest of us."

"And Kohaku was not aware either…"

"He's not aware of a lot of things!"

"Shut up, Inuyasha!"

"Eat my ass, Shippo!"

"Inuyasha, sit!"

_Crash!_

I opened my eyes, looking around the darkness. I was in my old bedroom at my home in the slayer village. From what I could see, the house was not in the best shape. A small hole was in the corner of the ceiling, allowing the moonlight a glimpse inside. I was still so tired but I kind of wanted to hear what they were saying.

These were my sister's companions. I knew that much. I vaguely remembered fighting them all at various times. Inuyasha, the silver-haired half-demon; Miroku, the monk with the cursed hand; Kagome, the priestess reincarnate; and Shippo, the orphaned fox demon. I felt something small and warm at my side and looked down to see Kirara snuggled up against me. I remembered her—my sister's loyal demon cat. I stroked Kirara's head and laid back down, trying to remain quiet.

"You two are going to wake him up with your antics!" warned Miroku.

"Sorry!" apologized Kagome.

"Hmmf!" was Inuyasha's short response.

They were quiet for a moment. Inuyasha broke the silence with a sigh. "We failed again. I really thought we had him this time! And Sango… we were supposed to rescue her." The hanyou sounded sad.

"She didn't look good," stated Kagome.

"She's been Naraku's captive for about a month now," said Miroku, a somber note in his voice. "I really hope nothing terrible has happened to her."

"Me too…" the fox chimed in.

I rolled over on my side and held Kirara close to my chest. The little cat nuzzled in the crook of my neck and purred. The neko's actions brought a small amount of comfort to me. I was unsure of the details of Sango's plight at Naraku's castle, but I know that her stay had been far from pleasant. My entire life (from what I can piece together, anyway), I had always seen her as a guardian, a defender. She was an unstoppable force. She was never super outgoing or overtly happy and enthusiastic but now she had this aura of sadness about her and the smallest note of fear in her eyes. It made me sad.

"Like I said, we failed," reiterated Inuyasha, "But we can't give up yet. Naraku can't hide forever. We will find him eventually. I just hope it's sooner as opposed to later. For Sango's sake."

"It's not a complete failure, Inuyasha," stated Kagome.

"Why is that?"

"We got Kohaku back," said the miko; I could sense a small cheerfulness in her words. I smiled a little. "And he is no longer under Naraku's control."

Inuyasha laughed a little. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Sango would consider that a win for sure," said Miroku. His words sounded slightly more uplifted than before. "Kagura also has her heart…"

"Which means she also is no longer under Naraku's control," added Kagome.

"I'll take it as another small victory," said Miroku. "I think it's safe to say she's on our side. She fought Naraku hard."

"It's a shame that fire demon had to die." Kagome sounded a little sad now. "I think her name was Rouge?"

"Yeah," mused Inuyasha. "She was strong, just like Kagura told us. She could have been a powerful ally."

"Indeed," agreed Miroku.

Silence fell upon them again. This time, the quiet was broken by Shippo.

"I really hope Sango's ok," he said. "And Kagura, too, I guess."

"Me too, Shippo," said Inuyasha.

That night I dreamt of demons and jewel shards; chaos and destruction. In my mind, I woke up in a cold stream, surrounded by empty sake bottles. Rouge stood at the riverbank, shaking her head at me as she vanished in a purple flame.

* * *

_[Sango's point of view.]_

_Where am I? It's so cold..._

I rolled over on my back and opened my eyes. _I feel terrible…_ I put a hand to my forehead, and squinted in relative darkness. I had no idea how long I was asleep for and I could not tell if it was approaching dusk or dawn; the low gray clouds above truly confused me at the moment. I was in a courtyard, _Naraku's courtyard… What in the hell happened?_ I racked my brain trying to remember the events that led up to the here and now.

_Was it just a dream?_

I remembered my friends laying siege to the castle, breaking Rouge out of her cell, breaking into Naraku's locked room… the battle with Naraku… freeing Rouge's trapped soul, Kohaku's mind, and Kagura's heart…

_Kagura!_

Kagura was lying next to me, unmoving; Rouge was lying a few paces away from us, covered in blood. The rest of the night began replaying in my mind: Rouge's battle with Naraku… Sadness struck me. _Rouge's death…_ A storm of miasma…

Kohaku was nowhere to be found. I remembered feeling him falling away from me as I lost consciousness during the miasma purge. _I think he actually escaped…_ That was one relief, at least.

I gently shook Kagura by her shoulders. She didn't move. P _lease don't be dead! Not you, too..._ I put my index and middle fingers on Kagura's neck, checking for a pulse. Relief washed over me briefly, upon realization that Kagura was still alive. _And she has a heartbeat…_ I was able to smile just a little. I crawled over to Rouge's body. Part of me could not believe she was dead.

Rouge was extremely pale, and some of her veins were visible in her face and arms; dried blood covered her stomach and chest, clearly from the stab wound just below her heart. I turned away from the corpse and looked around the courtyard, searching for any sign of Naraku. _Nothing._ A renewed sense of failure and fear washed over me.

_We didn't escape._

The fear and impending anxiety created a horrid mess in my insides. I crawled away from Rouge and Kagura and emptied the contents of my stomach. Shaking and feeling disgusted with myself and the situation I was now in, I wiped my mouth on my arm and looked forebodingly back toward the castle in front of me. Lightning struck overhead and I could see it curve the sky unnaturally. _The barrier is up..._

I crawled back to Kagura and shook her shoulders with a little more force than last time. "Kagura…" I really did not want to be alone right now. It was only a matter of time before we were discovered. Fear gripped me and I tried so hard not to shake. "Kagura!"

The wind sorceress' eyes fluttered open, revealing her beautiful ruby irises. Kagura looked around sleepily and sat up, rubbing her head. "What…?" She did a double take as she scanned the area, an alarmed look taking over her features. "Don't even tell me…!"

"We're still here…" I said quietly; my voice broke a little. _Be brave, Sango… be brave…_ I grabbed Kagura's hand and squeezed it tight. In the back of my mind, fleeting ideas of what Naraku would do to us for the failed invasion and escape attempt began to torment me.

"MOTHERFUCKER!" Kagura punched the ground. In doing so, she sent a small gust of wind out; the force gently bent back nearby tufts of grass.

"Kagura…"

"Sango…" Kagura sighed and stood up. She offered me her hands. As per usual, I accepted her assistance.

We stood in the once beautiful courtyard, examining the barren wasteland it now was. It was too quiet. The air was deathly still. I spotted Rouge's sword sticking out of the ground, about two yards away from us. I walked over to it and pulled it out of the earth, examining the craftsmanship of the weapon for the first time. It truly was a beautiful blade. Silver with a golden hilt. A heart-shaped yin-yang was emblazoned there, matching the symbol on Rouge's forehead.

I turned to Kagura. "She deserves a proper burial. She died a hero."

Kagura nodded in agreement.

We spent the next few hours digging a grave by hand.

* * *

We were lucky enough that there was already a large enough hole in the ground to start with, so we just made that the basis for the makeshift grave. Part of me felt sickened that Rouge had to be buried here of all places. No one deserved to be laid to rest in such an evil place. Kagura threw the last of the dirt over Rouge's grave then sat behind me, her back to mine, catching her breath.

"My heart's racing," Kagura breathlessly stated, "is that normal?"

"Yes," I answered, wiping the sweat from my brow. "We just buried a person."

"Right."

I was so tired and sore. I mentally cursed myself for the aches and pains; I did not even really fight in the battle yesterday and therefore had no right to feel as such! I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes, leaning my head back against Kagura's shoulder. _Cherry blossoms and pine…_ Even in the wretched afterbirth of battle and the grime and dirt post-grave-digging, I still found comfort in Kagura's scent.

I slowly stood up and stretched. Kagura followed suit, handing me Rouge's sword. I took the weapon in my hands and did my best to wipe off the blade. I turned to Rouge's grave and bowed, the weapon outstretched in my arms.

"Rouge," I began, "when we met, we were enemies, under false pretense. It was an honor to fight against and eventually alongside you." An uninvited sadness crept up my spine, settling in my brain and hijacking my emotions. "You may not have made the best decisions or always had the best intentions. In this lifetime, at least. Who were you before? What would you have become? Your short life was interrupted so violently, twice… But it should not matter how you lived; not really. You died a hero." I bit back tears, realizing that this very well could have been my fate instead. "May you rest and find peace in the embrace of your ancestors. You are with your sister now." I stood up and stuck the blade into the ground, marking the fire demon's grave.

I let go of the handle and stared at the gravesite before me. Hot tears soon blurred my vision and I felt a new heaviness in my heart that I did not know existed. I wept for the young fire demon, who was resurrected to kill in the name of misguided vengeance; a victim of a murder most brutal. I wept as we shared a parallel story. Rouge died alone the second time. Rouge never got her vengeance.

The sky opened up and cold, heavy rain fell down on us. Kagura put her arms around me from behind and rested her chin on my shoulder. I looked up at the sky, damning the powers that be for all that was wrong with the world. All that was wrong with _my_ world. Why did this young soul have to leave the earth so tragically and so soon? Why were we stuck here? What would happen to us? Would I see my brother and my friends again?

Rouge's death really bothered me. She fought to the very end. She died twice, and was so very young each time. Kagura revealed to me that Rouge mentioned the night we guarded her cell that she thought she may have been pregnant with Yokama's child at the time of her original death. That thought made my heart even heavier with grief. Naraku was absolutely unforgivable.

The fire demon was abrasive and rash; at times her temper and insults reminded me of Inuyasha. Rouge was foolish and immature. She was young and careless. Rouge wore her heart on her sleeve and at the end, she fought in the name of her wrongfully slain ancestors and fallen comrades. Rouge's tragic, heroic death brought her honor in my eyes. An honor that would redeem her aforementioned shortcomings. Rouge never got a chance to grow up.

Rouge died alone and no one short of us would ever know her name. Rouge died the last of her people; she was a small spark that was stamped out prematurely by a power-hungry megalomaniac of a demon. I could have died the last of my people— _I thought I_ did _at first._ Until Kohaku's escape last night, I was almost _certain_ I would be the last demon slayer to walk the earth. And the last one to die.

Alone and unnamed. Alone and unwanted.

Rouge's bones would soon rot away and turn to ash; her grave had a high likelihood of being robbed. Her elegant sword would be the first to be pilfered. No one would come visit her or give prayers and offerings. No one knew her in the end.

Her death was caught like gravel in my skinned knee, like the dirt and grime and glass infecting the various cuts on my body. The wound would close eventually; but this day would always mark a personal reminder of how fucked this world can be.

Rouge's young, laughing face invaded my memory. I fell asleep while she was telling stories the night Kagura and I acted as her guards. She was in the middle of telling some drunken tale of debauchery and demonic mischief from when she and her companions visited a wealthy town and were mistaken as elemental gods and goddess. The townspeople offered them the finest food and drinks available. Rouge's sister, Ami, found them and put a fast stop to their nonsense; the elder demon had apparently berated them all and comically beaten them up for taking advantage of the villagers.

At least she got to live a little, I suppose.

But it still was not fair.

Rouge confessed she dreamed of travel, maybe even leaving the country one day. Her plan with Yokama was to start a new clan in another region, or on another continent. I too dreamed of travel. But my dream had already come true to an extent. I got to travel and embark on many adventures with my friends. As a child, these adventures were fairytales I dreamed of and longed for; never in my wildest dreams would I ever think I would live them out… and they usually turned out to be nightmares in real life.

"Sango," Kagura said my name softly. She held me close, her arms wrapped protectively around my middle. I felt so weak and vulnerable, crying over a dead demon, finding solace in the arms of the wind sorceress who was formerly my enemy. In the middle of Naraku's deadened courtyard…

Rouge got to live out every little girl's adolescent whims of falling for a handsome young man, at least. I still failed to fully comprehend the aging of demons and "yokai years" versus "human years". Anecdotally from Kagura's limited knowledge and Inuyasha and Shippo's failed attempts to explain to Miroku, Kagome, and I, I estimated that ten human years was a rough approximation to one demon life year. Kagura said Rouge was "only" one-hundred forty-three; this put her just beyond fourteen years old if she were human.

She was so young.

But she at least got to live a little.

I reminded myself of the sentiment again. My thoughts circled back to conversations with Kagome and the relative safety of the future from which she came. Even I could still barely be considered a child in Kagome's future time, in most parts of the world.

We were really all just some unfortunate kids, maybe.

But I think it goes beyond that. We were all unfortunate kids forced to grow up too soon. I had not really felt like a child since before I joined the ranks of the demon slayers. It was always training and discipline; protect my brother, protect myself, make my family proud.

What a piss poor excuse of pride I had grown into.

I was able to push away my own thoughts of self-loathing and failure; they were only replaced, however, by the muddy grave and rain-washed sword before me.

If there was a heaven, I hoped Rouge was beginning her ascent. But I did not feel confident enough in my several flirtations with death that there was such a thing. The metaphorical demons below and the harsh memories that no doubt marked Rouge's soul—just as mine had been marked, I'd feared—probably kept her down; she would stay in the dirt, where she belonged. _(Where I belonged…)._

_They're cutting your wings off…_

I remembered Rouge's body falling from the rooftop, dead and cold, but free from Naraku's grasp.

_Maybe I could have done something…_

The young demon's smile pervaded my memory.

_Maybe I could have made a difference…_

I grabbed Kagura's hands and held them tightly. _She could be the difference I've made, I suppose… and Kohaku… my brother was free, at least._

I dreaded what was to become of us, though. Kagura and I, that is.

We had nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide. It was only a matter of time.


	22. Chapter Twenty-one: Sounds Like Armageddon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: "Jonestown Tea" by Otep]

_Run, rabbit, run…_

Wet leaves and thin, whip-like tree branches hit my face as I chased after Kagura, desperately searching for a hole in the barrier's edge within the forest. We appropriately mourned the death of the fire demon until the grief was shelved as the panic switch flipped on when it fully sunk in that we were still in Naraku's captivity. Kagura nearly knocked herself out attempting to ram through the barrier in the sky on her feather. No such luck. We then charged into the forest, fan and dagger drawn, covered in grave soil, mud, and crimson. The rain did not wash away the filth; it only turned it into a vile mixture caked to our clothing and skin.

I had never seen Kagura run like this; I had never seen her so terrified. The urgent curses and cries of frustration she let out as she ran against the barrier's edge echoed in my mind. I could barely keep up with her; almost always glancing over my shoulder, awaiting the inevitable pursuit by our captor. My lungs burned with breathlessness; my throat and mouth were dry with anxiety and dehydration. I followed Kagura back to the courtyard through the woods and across the bridge over the koi pond. She collapsed in the middle of it all, almost close to Rouge's grave.

" _WHY?!"_ The wind sorceress' pained cry echoed through the courtyard; I was sure her agony reached the heavens.

I crouched down beside her, shaking. I put my arms around my friend, who only turned toward me with the last bit of her strength and buried her face in my shoulder.

I swear the ground shook in a microscopic quake.

I held Kagura a little tighter and I felt her do the same. We sat terrified, waiting on an earthquake.

"Sango," breathed Kagura. She sniffed and cleared her throat. I could tell she was desperately trying to hide her tears and convey strength. "No matter what happens, I will not leave your side. We'll get out of here. We have to… I'll get you out of here…" The wind demon took my hands in hers and held them tightly.

Past Kagura, I saw the grand doors designating the castle's main entrance from the courtyard open. My anxiety heightened further; my nerves were already shot.

The apocalypse did not come for us in this moment; only Kanna, like a tiny ghost of all our past mistakes. She came as a herald to prophesize our greatest failure yet. The small void yokai walked silently toward us, mirror held in hand as always. Always there, always empty, never changing.

"Kanna…" greeted Kagura. She slowly released my hands; I created just enough distance between us.

"Kagura…" began the girl in her high, empty voice. "Do you realize what you have done?"

"I have no regrets," Kagura stated boldly.

"He can no longer protect you, Kagura," said Kanna.

" _Protect?_ " cried Kagura. "The only protection I've _ever_ needed was from him!"

"He used the last of his strength to keep you here, where you belong…" I hated the way Kanna was describing Naraku as a low-level martyr. There was no nobility in his actions and there never would be.

"I don't belong here!" Kagura angrily stood up, fists clenched and shaking. "I have my heart! I am supposed to be free! Free as the wind in the image I was created from!"

Kanna's mirror glowed for a moment. I also rose to my feet and rested my hand on my dagger.

"Your freedom will come with a price, Kagura," continued Kanna.

Kagura growled and reached for her fan. "Ok… me, I can understand…" She looked to me, concern in her ruby irises. "But why her? Why wasn't she allowed to go?"

"Master Naraku has his reasons…" I shuddered and felt faint. "She aided in your attempted rescue. Both of you shall be punished accordingly. You have cost Naraku greatly. I am sorry." Her apology rang empty, just like the essence of her existence.

Kagura held up her fan. "Kanna… I never wished to harm you, _ever…_ But you leave me no other choice…"

Before Kagura could wave her fan in defense, Kanna's mirror flashed and a deafening white noise pervaded the area; the sound felt as if it was literally going in one ear and out the other, filling my skull with unnecessary static in the process. I put my hands over my ears and fell to the ground. Kagura landed beside me.

I finally pushed myself up and opened my eyes. I couldn't see. Panic set in; I opened my mouth to speak, to cry out, to scream, _anything_ … I could not form words. My limbs quickly grew weak and I collapsed to the ground once more, literally powerless. Unconsciousness soon consumed me; my dreams—or lack of—were as dark as my general experience.

* * *

A headache throbbed within my skull; the pain came in waves. Shockwaves that bounced around within me. A high-pitched ringing was still present in my ears—the familiar sound of tinnitus.

I could see now, at least. My eyes adjusted to the darkness within minutes. I was in a cell. A dirty, filthy cell. I soon recognized it to the be the same one that once imprisoned Rouge. I sat up, feeling my bones cracking and popping as I did so. My back and neck were so stiff.

I was no longer in my slayer armor. I was once again dressed in a plain gray kimono. I felt relatively clean; someone had washed the disgusting afterbirth of the battlefield from my fatigued body. I cringed at the thought; I would have preferred to just stay in filth if it meant retaining any ounce of dignity I could pretend I had left. I examined my surroundings further as my eyes fully adjusted to the low lighting.

I was alone in my own cell. Kagura was in a cell across from mine, although she was chained to the wall by shackles on her wrists. She was at least unconscious. I stood up and gripped the bars of my prison, shaking them violently and to no avail.

"Kagura!" The wind demon slowly shook her head, literally in for a rude awakening. A minute sense of relief hit me, knowing that she was alive and breathing.

"…What… the hell…?" Kagura mumbled as she looked around. She growled and pulled at her chains; it was no use.

" _GOD DAMMIT! WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!"_

It was painful to watch Kagura pulling aimlessly at her bondage. I could see no blood from where I was forced to watch, helplessly; I knew she was hurting herself in the process. I had never heard such anguish and agony in her voice before as she cursed and screamed and carried on, trying in vain to free herself.

I wish I could find comfort in the fact that I was not chained to the wall as well. It was unnerving, instead.

"Kagura… how did we get here?" I asked, even though I had a vague answer. One I did not like.

Kagura shook her head, pausing her struggle. "Probably Kanna… I hope… either way… _fucking bastards!"_ She pulled once more at the chains and withdrew a deep, pained breath in her failure. " _FUCK!"_

I fumbled with the lock on my cell and shook each bar, praying for a loose foundation or mechanical failure. Anything that may result in my escape. I had to focus on something, after all; I did not even want to imagine what cruelty was in store for Kagura and myself. I began to shake at the mere thought of it, willing myself not to cry.

"Kagura…" I reached for her through the bars of my cell. She was my only comfort. Terror was setting in; full-blown anticipatory panic was slowly beginning to course through my veins, setting my nerve endings on fire.

" _I'm scared._ " My confession was little more than a whisper. The admission of defeat left a bitter taste in my mouth; I felt as if those two words betrayed the very essence of my soul and all that I should have been.

Our eyes locked, in a trade of fearful topaz for wide-eyed, corrupted ruby.

"Sango," Kagura made her voice sound strong ( _for me…),_ "whatever happens… we won't go down without a fight…"

I could hear footsteps coming down the hall. The timing and apparent weight was too great to be that of Kanna. Alarms went off in my head and my insides tightened. Anxiety flooded throughout my body, bursting through the poorly constructed dam in my mind. I ran to the corner of my cell and wanted to be sick. Dry heaving racked my shoulders; I was only able to spit up trace amounts of bile. I could not remember the last time I had anything to eat or drink.

"Sango…" I closed my eyes and tried so hard not to shake as the monster said my name. I couldn't turn around to face him.

"Kagura…" I could tell he turned toward her by the way his voice resonated nearby.

"Do either of you have any comprehension at all of the consequences of your actions?"

We were silent. We owed him no explanation. I already knew we had royally fucked up.

We did not plan on getting caught.

We were supposed to be far away from here by now…

"Do you know what your treachery has cost me? I direct this question at you in particular, _Kagura._ " I hated the way he said her name. She had proudly offered the greatest insult to him, the greatest betrayal. Kagura said nothing.

" _Well?!"_

I glanced over my shoulder. Naraku gripped the bars of Kagura's cell tightly, his face pressed against the door. Kagura merely glared at him, the purest shade of hatred in her beautiful red eyes.

"Why keep us here? We are of no use to you!" spat Kagura. "And you no longer have power over me!"

A dark purple energy pulsed around Naraku for a moment. He grabbed the bars of the cell door and with a malicious cry of anger, he ripped the door off the hinges and cast it down the hall. Kagura's eyes widened and my heart rate increased.

"You may have your wretched heart, you _traitorous bitch,_ but you still must pay for your misdeeds!" Naraku entered her cell, hastily reaching into his pocket. He produced a whip, glowing red. "You have displayed the greatest disregard for all I have done for you!" He pulled his hand back, tightly gripping the handle of the whip. "I gave you your _life,_ Kagura! And this is how you repay me!" With a crack, he brought the whip to her body. Kagura did not make a sound; I cringed at the sight.

"You cost me not only your own wasted employment but also that of Kohaku and Rouge! I have lost _two_ of my strongest warriors to your treachery! One walks a free man and the other died a wasted, painful death!" Naraku whipped again. "You left me no other choice!" _Crack!_

Naraku leaned into her and roughly took her face in his hands. "I can no longer threaten and torture you with your damned disloyal heart, but I can inflict the most severe horrors onto you with good old-fashioned violence." Naraku released her, only to ball up his fist and swing it hard into the side of her head. He stepped back and resumed whipping the wind demon.

I finally found my voice almost at the same time Naraku's whipping began to shred Kagura's kimonos, leaving most of her skin vulnerable to the ravage and punishment. She finally cried out in pain, her once flawless fair skin blistered and bloodied.

" _Stop it! Leave her alone!"_ I covered my eyes, unable to turn away but unable to stomach the sight before me.

Naraku delivered a final slash of the whip to Kagura, hitting her in the face and leaving a thin, bloody cut diagonally from her right eye to the left corner of her mouth. The demon slowly turned around to face me. He cracked his neck and stepped to the edge of Kagura's cell. There was a madness in his eyes that I had never seen before; he appeared to be almost out of breath.

A deep fear nestled in my chest, freezing my movements and seeming to stop time itself. I swallowed hard and backed up against the wall, never taking my eyes off the dangerous man across the walkway.

"Sango…" he said my name, coolly, calmly. The tone was more frightening than if he would have just screamed at me. Naraku evenly walked to my cell door. Not taking his eyes off me, he grabbed the bars and jerked the door off the hinges. He nonchalantly dropped it in the hall and stepped inside. I felt like my heart would burst out of my chest.

 _Do something…_ a tiny voice echoed inside my mind. _Don't give up…_

I managed to shake the fear and charged at Naraku, fist drawn back. He went to counter my punch and I surprised him with a hard kick to the shin. To my surprise, he toppled to the ground. I summoned my adrenaline-induced strength and managed to lift the cell door. I half threw, half dropped it on Naraku and took off down the hall.

I stopped at the crumbled door from Kagura's cell and checked to see if any of the bars could be removed. Luck was in my favor, it seemed. I pulled a bar loose and held it up in defense. Naraku snarled and began his approach in my direction. I cried out and charged at him, my makeshift weapon raised. As I passed, I was able to hit him in the face with the metal bar. Naraku cursed me and held his face in his hands.

I made it into Kagura's cell while Naraku was distracted. I fumbled with the shackles around her wrists, trying to pry them loose.

"Sango, what the fuck are you doing?!" asked Kagura. "Get out of here! Forget about me!"

"No!" I yelled at her, switching my focus to the chains attached to the wall. "We made an oath! I absolutely _refuse_ to leave here without you!"

"Sango!" Kagura's warning was too late. Naraku entered the cell. I was quick to dodge out of the way and grab my weapon once more.

On my way out, I felt Naraku's clawed hands around my waist. I screamed and twisted, managing to hit him in the face with my weapon. He cursed and grabbed it, pulling it from my hands and shoving me to the ground. I skinned my knee and my palms when I fell but did not let that stop me. I would fight until the end. I covered my head with my hands as I scrambled away, expecting Naraku to swing at me with the cell bar.

Instead I heard the weapon come into contact with a body, followed by Kagura's cry of pain. "Kagura!" I stood up and ran back into the cell, launching myself at Naraku. I landed on his back and locked my arms around his neck. The metal fell from his grasp and landed loudly on the floor. Naraku tripped as we left the cell; we fell to the floor in a scuffle, with him on top.

I kneed him in the chest and punched him in the neck; it was enough to buy me time to escape. Naraku let out an angry roar and pulled back. I rolled away and tried to stand. I soon felt Naraku's hand strongly gripping my ankle. I tried to shake him loose and he pulled me down. His wild crimson eyes met mine. His body pulsed with dark energy once more; a sick smirk pulled at his lips.

I was frozen. I couldn't move and I could feel my energy being drained. I screamed in pain, feeling an unexpected jolt of electricity course through my body, rendering me briefly paralyzed. The ringing in my ears returned at full volume, waning in and out of my broken attention.

Naraku laughed evilly. He towered over me. He looked worse for wear up close, like he was losing or had lost weight. His hair and skin looked fragile and worn.

"I think it will prove worth it to use the last of my energy reserves on you, Sango… you never know when to quit." His foot collided with my side. I yelped in pain, coughing a little. He kicked me a few more times; I could feel some of my ribs rebreaking from before. I was slowly able to move again, but the pain was too great.

"Naraku! Leave her alone! She had nothing to do with the attack or the escape! It was all me!" Kagura cried out from behind us.

Naraku stepped over me. " _Shut up, wench!"_ I heard a limb collide with her body. I couldn't move enough to do anything but I had enough of a view to witness Naraku's relentless beating of Kagura. I laid my head back down and closed my eyes, feeling sick at the sounds entering my ears. I could tell at some point, Naraku had picked up the broken cell bar again and hit her with it more than a few times.

"Kagura… I'm sorry…" I breathed. I tried to get up again; breathing hurt. Naraku picked me up and tossed me into my cell.

"I don't know what attachment you have to my dishonorable offspring," said Naraku "but you will be punished for it. You are, after all, the one who actually freed her. And Kohaku, and Rouge… you cost me three henchmen, my dear…"

I managed to sit up and leaned my head against the wall. My vision was blurring in and out. Naraku approached me. I craned my neck to see Kagura in the background. She wasn't moving. She hung limply from her chains. Tears welled in my eyes.

Kagura had likely been killed. And I was next. I wished for a quick death and hurriedly made peace with my mortality. My brother was free from Naraku. If my death meant his freedom, then so be it.

Naraku roughly grabbed me by my shoulders and held me up.

"Why do you cry for a dead demon, Sango?" Naraku pushed his body against mine, pinning me to the wall. He mockingly wiped my tears with the back of his hand. I pushed against him, his very being smothering my senses and bringing sickness to my stomach and the forefront of my mind.

He unexpectedly stepped back, causing me to fall forward. I fell on my face, the hard stone foundation scraping my nose and my cheek. Naraku laughed at my accident, sparking a small amount of humiliation in my heart. He grabbed my shoulder and I jerked away on impulse. His grip did not let up, instead sliding down my arm.

"Let me go!" I cried out, trying to pull away. Naraku smirked at me, his grip tightening.

"No, Sango; I'll never let you go," stated Naraku. I whimpered as I felt the bones in my forearm cracking. He threw me into the wall, pressing his body against my back. He rested his chin on my shoulder, placing one hand on the back of my head, holding my face against the wall. "You're mine, my dear…" Naraku whispered into my ear. I could not control the shakes that riddled my body at his words; the sentence shook me to my very core, fear filling my breaking heart.

"I will not forget breaking your first of me," I could feel his warm breath against my neck. His alluded words brought back the terrible memory I kept locked away inside my mind, the first time he stole from me what was mine and only mine to give; something I would never dream of willingly giving him, not in this lifetime or the next. "I think of that night often, Sango… I considered marking you—" He grabbed my hair and pulled my head back. His fangs grazed my exposed neck; I swear my heart stopped for a moment. Naraku did not bite, opting instead to nip and suck at my skin, leaving an equally unwanted bruise.

"These temporary marks are enough, though," continued Naraku. "Never forget that I am the one who made a woman out of you. That secret of ours will be safe, I can promise. I like it better that way." He pushed his knee between my legs and I felt his hands relocate to my hips. "I can smell your fear, Sango… it excites me."

"I—I'm not afraid-!" I tried with all my might to sound defiant and brave; my words caught in my throat and my voice broke.

Naraku delivered a quick blow to the back of my head. "Do not lie to me, girl!" He pushed against me again, his hands exploring my shivering body. My head hurt so bad; the pain was now migrating down my neck and my spine, adding to the afflictions of my fractured arm and broken ribs. Naraku's hands stopped at the obi of my kimono. He began untying it; I struggled weakly, willing desperately for him not to abuse me like that again. I moved my arms to stop his actions but he quickly grabbed my wrists. He applied enough pressure to my left arm to turn the fracture into a clean break. I cried out in pain, holding the injury to my abdomen.

The demon removed his hands from me for a moment; I could not tell what he was doing. Moments later, I almost threw up as I realized the truth of his actions. When he returned his attention to me, he roughly pulled my kimono off; the softness of the fabric even sent seething daggers of pain as it brushed the skin on my broken arm.

Naraku then removed his own clothing. He spun me around and violently pinned my hands above my head. He soon transferred my wrists from his rough grip to the cool shackles against the wall. I felt his hardened member pushing against my thigh and whimpered in fear, closing my eyes. I was openly crying now; I had nothing more to hide. _I have nothing more to give._

"Warriors don't cry, Sango," Naraku kissed me, biting my lip and drawing blood as he pulled away. He wiped away my tears. His hand moved slowly from my face; he drug his clawed index finger from my clavicle down the middle of my chest and stomach, resting just above my waistband. He ripped away my last layer of clothing, leaving me completely vulnerable and exposed.

Naraku dug his claws into my back, just above my hips. He forced himself between my legs. My entire body tensed as I felt his tip brush against my entrance. I kept my eyes tightly closed, tears staining my cheeks. I screamed as he thrust into me with his entire length. The pain never lessened, no matter how many times he had used me before. Naraku groaned and leaned against me. "But you're no warrior, are you?" he breathed those harsh words into my ear and began his violent assault of my body and soul.

His actions were far more brutal than ever before, this time. I had never known such pain until now. I tried to go somewhere else in my mind, the whole time this was happening. My mental escape proved to be difficult. In my mind, I tried so hard to think of anything, anyone, anywhere else… Though, his actions stopped sooner than I'd anticipated. I was able to go somewhere else in my mind finally but was brought painfully back to the present by a forceful slap to the face.

"Do I not bring you pleasure, my dear?" asked Naraku. He did not deserve an answer. He never would. The only thing that could involve him and spark any type of pleasure for me would be his death—a well-deserved death in a fashion so violent that I could not even fathom it.

The demon approached me, grabbing my arms. I flinched at his touch, pain shooting from my left arm down to my shoulder. My hands were nearly numb from the shackles. Naraku's hands brushed down my arms and rested on my chest. He grabbed my breasts, squeezing them painfully. I shook my head and squirmed, wishing for him to let go of me. I couldn't form words, only pained whimpers.

"What's the matter-you don't like it when I touch you like that?" mocked Naraku. He pinched each of my nipples and delivered a bruising kiss to my lips. His tongue forced its way into my mouth and I uselessly struggled against him. His hands continued their exploration of my body, dragging his claws down my sides.

"I've been so selfish to you," Naraku pulled away from me. He grabbed my ass and pulled me close. "I've focused only on my own desire. I have yet to hear my name escape you."

"…Never…" I managed, my voice raspy and raw from screaming and crying.

Naraku laughed, moving a hand from my side to my hip, then my thigh. His thumb brushed against my sex. I tensed and held my breath at the contact. I didn't want him to touch me, at all. A wave of fresh tears threatened my eyes.

"Please don't… Just leave me alone…" I begged.

He pushed his hand between my legs, providing much unwanted attention. I gasped, feeling a clawed finger enter me. A low, dark laugh escaped his lips as he lightly drug his claw along my inner walls. I cried out in both pain and fear, tears falling freely again.

"You don't like that? What _do_ you like, then, my dear?" He removed his finger, instead beginning to rub his hand against me.

"Stop, _please…_ " I pleaded for him to leave me in my broken misery. My words were in vain and I tried to compartmentalize my experience, wishing so badly that I was elsewhere. _Anywhere else_ … Kagura was the only person I ever trusted enough to touch me like this… Her touch was like heaven… the opposite of whatever this was… _I wish I was back in her arms, safe, by the waterfall…_

My body began to betray me as Naraku continued his actions. I felt a tightness increase between my legs and an ache growing in my lower belly as he continued to rub and stroke my privates. I hated what he was doing to me; my attention was swinging dangerously between desperate daydreams of escaping this place and the building, traitorous pleasure and pressure in my lower body.

"You're so wet…" Naraku commented. I wanted to be sick; sick from his words, his horrific attention to me, and the way I was having trouble containing my impending, completely unwanted and unwarranted orgasm. "Say my name…"

"… _never_ …"

Naraku grabbed me, hard. I cried out, breathing heavily. He quickened his pace and I bit my lip, shameful heat filling up my cheeks. _I don't want this… I don't want this… I don't want this…_

I stifled a cry as my body shook and convulsed against my will. Tears fell freely down my face and the only thing to escape my lips was a very quiet moan. Naraku kept going; uninvited pleasure quickly turned to pain. He soon released me and kissed me once more.

"Was that so hard, Sango?" asked Naraku. My head was such a mess of emotions, dominated by fear and shame. A migraine throbbed in my skull, tinnitus still ringing in my ears. My unwanted orgasm added a groggy, lightheaded, gross feeling to my mind. I opened my eyes, vision thankfully blurring. Past Naraku's malicious grin, in the background, I could see Kagura barely moving.

Naraku hit me once more, blackness encroaching in the frame of my vision.

* * *

_[Kagura's point of view.]_

I dreamed of darkness and screams. Maybe it was no dream… Maybe I was finally sent to hell, where I probably belonged.

Every bone in my body ached and I swear a possibility existed that I was breathing blood. My eyes slowly opened—one eye, at least. My left was swollen shut. Even the small amount of light in my prison was enough to ignite a violent headache that entered through my pupil. I closed my eye again and exhaled deeply, feeling my lungs rattle in the slow and painful process.

My slow drift into the sweet, ironic refuge of hell was interrupted by a pained scream. I shook my head, trying to open my one good eye and focus long enough to figure out what was going on. I knew that voice…

The last thing I remembered before darkness consumed me was being beaten. By Naraku… a metal bar in his hand aided his offense. My face was swollen, my left eye socket broken, as a result. Along with more than a few ribs and what felt like a fractured collarbone.

I heard that scream again.

I opened my eye and was met with the sight of Naraku in the cell across from mine. He had Sango pinned to the wall; no, _chained_ to the wall. And he was fucking her. And she was crying; crying for him to stop.

I tried so hard to move. I was still imprisoned myself, like a chained animal. I tried to open my mouth to make a sound, _anything._ Even if it meant my own suffering, _I just wanted him to leave her alone…_

 _I was so angry…_ The numbness was fading from my limbs as the blood flow and feeling returned. I pulled desperately on my chains, feeling the shackles digging into my wrists. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth. Sango's screams plagued my ears. I still could not make a sound; my mouth was dry and my lungs nearly useless. I had never felt an anger like this before. This was a pure, maliciously-intended, protective _hatred_ that consumed me.

It felt like hours before I had control of my voice once more. I pulled at my chains again… I felt the slightest slack and heard the smallest break... Hours, though… _Hours_ of hearing and briefly seeing and trying to look away from Sango's torment. He whipped and beat her relentlessly in between violently having his way with her. And I was powerless to stop it. I swear she made eye contact with me once.

I blamed myself.

I promised her I would get her out of here.

That promise was as broken as my own body. As broken as Sango's. As broken as her spirit.

Naraku still didn't know I was conscious. I tugged at my chains once more.

I glimpsed him messing with Sango's shackles. With a few clicks, she was released. The taijiya fell to the floor; I could not tell if she was still conscious or not. Naraku delivered a few final blows to her broken form before dressing himself as if nothing had happened.

Once clothed, Naraku turned and left her cell. He stopped in the walkway to stare at me.

"Did you enjoy the show, Kagura?" he asked.

" _Fuck you!_ " I rasped out, a small spray of blood leaving my lips alongside my curse.

Naraku laughed evilly. "Never forget me, Kagura… Never forget what I'm capable of."

He began to walk away, heading down the hall toward the stairs.

"Never forget where you came from."

With that said, he was gone, leaving me seething in rage and guilt. I spent the remainder of the night ( _or day? I no longer knew… or cared…)_ fighting against the chains. The only things holding me back.

_I'll kill him if I ever get out of here. I swear it._


	23. Chapter Twenty-two: COMA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: "COMA" by Issues]

I fought against my chains for nearly a day after Naraku left us.

I only stopped when my body decided to give out on me and attempt to catch a bit of sleep. I fought hard to keep my eyes open at all times, never wanting to take them off Sango, who lay in the cell across from mine, unconscious but visibly breathing. She moved every now and then, but never awoke. I was thankful she was alive but I needed to know she was alright. _Like, more than surviving…_

My chains shook, almost weak enough to be pulled from the wall. I could feel a break or two somewhere in the linkage. I growled and pulled again. The metal shackles dug into my wrists, blood coating the metal even more. I heard a screeching sound behind me, that of metal on stone.

_Finally!_

I pulled once more on my chains. The one holding my right arm finally snapped. I let my arm hang limply at my side, feeling the blood flow gradually return to a normal state. I held my hand in front of my face and flexed it, cracking my knuckles. I began to tamper one-handed with the shackle still holding my left wrist. After lots of prying, blood, and assistance from broken stones and metal, I was able to pry it open and free my other arm.

I allowed myself to fall to my knees, laying on the dirty, cold dungeon floor for a moment. I couldn't help the insane laugh that quietly left me. I slowly stood up and stumbled out of my cell. I paused, listening closely for any sign of Naraku or Kanna. After deciding the area was clear, I ineptly moved across the walkway and entered Sango's cell. I crouched down beside her and checked her pulse.

A wave of relief hit me at the confirmation that she was still alive. I placed my hand on her forehead; her temperature was a little warm. I brushed her hair back from her eyes. Sango moved her head a little, turning toward me, but she did not wake.

"Sango…" I whispered her name. She still did not awaken. I sat down and pulled her into my lap, gently running my hand through her hair.

The beautiful demon slayer was just as bad off as I was, at first glance. Bruises and cuts covered her body, most prevalent on her face, abdomen, back, and arms. Her left forearm was swollen and darkened with a sickly yellow and purple bruise. I could easily see where the bone was broken. Unnatural indentations on her sides showed me where broken ribs were; I counted three confirmed, just on one side. Claw marks and blood trailed her shoulders, chest, thighs, and hips.

" _Oh, Sango…_ " A tear escaped my eye as I gazed over the slayer's injuries. The small drop landed on her bloodied cheek. I carefully wiped it away with my thumb. She stirred a little and attempted to move her broken arm. The faintest sound of pain left her lips with the failed movement.

"Hey," I carefully readjusted us, as my newly-healed ankle was quickly going numb. "Sango, are you in there?" _Nothing._

I had to do something.

I stopped and thought really long and hard about our current situation.

We had both _narrowly_ avoided death the previous day. I brought my hand to my left eye. It was no longer swollen and my eye socket felt solid once more. Demon regeneration was a blessing. I looked down at the sleeping taijiya in my lap. She would need lots of time to recover. Even if I could get her some needed medical attention and administer my healing salves.

_Which is why I need to get her out of here…_

I thought back to Naraku. He really didn't look good when he came to punish us. He looked almost like a feeble, decaying human man. His demonic aura was weak at best. I also distinctly remembered him making a comment about using the last of his energy to subdue Sango.

_I was so mad at myself!_

Indeed, the time of Naraku's chosen period of reconstruction and perceived powerlessness was upon us. I just incorrectly guessed the day to be a few too soon. That mistake had proven to be quite costly to myself and Sango. _That's in the past now… I must plan ahead…_

Naraku had not returned for us or even sent Kanna to spy. There was a good chance he had finally retreated to his secret chamber to begin his reconstruction period. Part of me was terrified to leave the dungeon, terrified that Naraku would be waiting outside or that I would leave to secure the area and come back to find Sango either dead or missing.

But what if my experience would be more akin to the allegory of the cave?

_What do I have to lose?_

I leaned down and left the gentlest kiss on Sango's forehead. My heart broke at the sight of her. I carefully moved her off of me. I was able to find her kimono nearby on the ground and draped it around her like a blanket, in a worn attempt to shield her vulnerable, battered form. I slowly arose and left the cell. I looked over my shoulder at her one last time.

"I will return for you, my dear… I have the beginnings of a plan. I promise I'll get you out of here. Just hang on for me."

* * *

My stealthy venture through the castle halls was remarkably successful. Not a sign of Naraku, Kanna, or the saimyosho. The entire place really did feel abandoned. The coast was clear from the dungeon to my wing of the castle. Thankfully, Naraku's reconstruction cellar was on the opposite end of the compound. Kanna was likely patrolling closer to him. _Smart._

Naraku must have been either extremely eager to disappear or too confident in his victory over us. It just struck me as odd that he did not add even one extra layer of security to our current captivity. He was the one who ripped our cell doors off their hinges, after all. Speaking of security…

_That means the barrier around the castle is probably weaker, too!_

I smirked, my pace quickening as I made my way back to the dungeon to retrieve Sango. She was just as I left her, partially covered and oddly peaceful. I knelt down and carefully scooped her up into my arms. Sango whimpered in pain in her sleep and I found myself quietly apologizing repeatedly for her wounds.

I crept through the night like a thief, holding close the precious angel that I was stealing back from hell. The trip from the dungeons to my room felt like it took all night; my anxiety and heart rate were both sky-high the entire venture. In reality, it had only been less than half an hour. I shut the door as quietly as I could and leaned against it, still clutching the sleeping taijiya close to me. I listened for a moment, to be certain we had not been followed.

Once I deemed my mission successful, I brought Sango into the washroom and gently laid her on the floor. I went back to the main bedroom and found us each some clean clothes. I drew a bath for myself and managed to fill a bucket with clean water. I dipped a sponge into the bucket and wrung out the water. I carefully began wiping the dirt and blood from Sango's face.

"Hey, Sango," I ran my hand through her dark brown locks, "wake up. You're safe now." She made a small noise but did not wake. My heart sank a little. I shook her shoulder. She frowned and moved her head, still remaining asleep.

 _Please wake up… please…_ I sighed. I was unsure if she suffered a severe enough head injury during Naraku's beating to warrant infinite sleep. But I did know that she was gravely injured, regardless. I had never seen such maltreatment of a person in my life. I do not think Naraku had even ever been that cruel to me; and he had punished me quite severely in the past for various acts of rebellion and thinking for myself.

I stood up to discard the remainder of my shredded clothing. I glanced at myself in a mirror off to the side. Bruises and welts covered my pale skin, although they were already healing quickly. All that remained of my broken eye socket from last night was a dark purple bruise outlining my eye. I caught a glimpse of my back, almost throwing up in my mouth a little. The hideous spider-shaped scar was still there, sick and disgusting. A matching reminder of my tragic birth and malicious sire.

I growled and stepped toward my bath. I could see the steam rising from the water—a welcome sight for my sore bones. I initially planned on administering Sango a sponge bath but changed my mind upon acknowledgement of my impending delirium and the fact that she was just as disgusting as I was at the moment. I carefully picked her up and walked down the smooth stone steps into the bath.

Sango's hand moved to my shoulder as the hot water touched her damaged skin. Her fingers twitched and she loosely gripped my shoulder. I took that as a good sign. I set her in a seated position on the steps. I quickly cleansed myself before carefully bathing her. I was a lot slower in my care of her body as opposed to my own. She was far worse off than I was for the time being.

Although asleep, she tensed and shivered as I mindfully washed the blood and dirt from her body. I paused to take careful note of the kusarigama scar on her back. I traced the old wound with my fingertips. _She got that scar from her younger brother…_ A weight pulled at my heart.

Soon enough, I dried each of us off and dressed myself. I then began tending to Sango's many injuries. Satisfied with my ministrations, I dressed her and carried her into the bedroom. I laid the slayer on my bed and rested beside her. I held her bandaged hand, brushing my thumb over her knuckles but mindful of her recent fracture.

I closed my eyes and bit back tears.

_What if she doesn't wake up?_

The thought frightened me to no end. I cared deeply for Sango. She was my first friend, the first person I really was able to develop any type of bond with. Our relationship clearly went deeper than friendship, though. I recognized and was beginning to embrace that. I think I could say I loved Sango as a friend by now; however, that feeling was growing.

Then it hit me: _Love?_

Is this what love feels like in its earliest stages? Is this love blooming forth from a seed of destruction, bearing fate's cruel nectar?

I looked to the girl beside me. She was still pretty.

_Beautiful, even._

What if she should die?

I rolled over and gently draped my arm around Sango, pushing my face against her shoulder. I held the slayer close but with care, not wanting to further harm her. I didn't know what I would do at this point if she were to die from her injuries.

My first impulse was to say I would die with her, of my own hand.

Fuck freedom.

My freedom was not worth it if Sango's precious life was the cost. I was aware that our current relationship was fickle at best and would likely deteriorate into at the very least a "normal" friendship once we escaped and recovered from this purgatory; but I did not want to think that far ahead now. Regardless of future planning, I would gladly take a future as her friend and unrequited lover over a future without her in it at all.

* * *

_I chased after Sango through the woods, armed with an elegant sword and my fan. She stopped abruptly in the middle of a clearing and set down her weapon, the hiraikotsu. I caught up with her as she turned to face me. She smiled and grabbed my hands, adorned in wildflower warpaint._

" _We made it, Kagura," said Sango, a shy but determined smile on her beautiful face. "I never thought we'd be here…"_

_Behind her, the scenery melted from trees and lush foliage to that of the waterfall we used to visit._

" _Where is here?" I asked. The sky overhead quickly cycled from dawn to day to dusk to night and back. Several shooting stars passed over the treetops._

" _We are where the river ends, where the war stops…" Sango leaned forward and planted a soft, sweet kiss to my lips._

_My heart fluttered in my chest; I put my arms around Sango, holding her tightly, never wanting to let go. Her embrace was the purest comfort; her floral scent was intoxicating—lavender was most prominent._

" _Kagura, I don't want to go back there…" Sango whispered into my pointed ear. I felt her hands move down my back, fingertips tracing my spine through my clothes. I shivered and closed my eyes._

" _Don't take me home…" Sango's pained words tore at my soul._

_When I opened my eyes, the scenery had changed again. Beautiful, serene nature slowly bled into a corrupted man-made compound. We were now standing in the middle of the courtyard of Naraku's castle. Sango stepped away from me._

" _For one thing, you're not really here…" She continued to back away, tears in her eyes. She began to fade slowly as the buildings around me disintegrated. …Where had I heard those words before…?_

_I briefly felt as if I was drowning. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't scream…_

_I just fell into darkness, into a vast ocean._

_I came to in a hospital. Elegance and the highest medical knowledge surrounded me. I had to be in a wealthier area. This was so strange… The place reeked of illness and sterilization. Doctors rushed past me, bumping into one another occasionally. They did not seem to notice me. I began to walk through the halls in slow motion, until I passed a waiting room. I was drawn to it and peered inside._

_On one side sat Kohaku and Inuyasha. The opposite side consisted of Rouge, a ghost demon, a wolf demon, and a beautiful bat demon who could very well pass as Sango's twin, aside from her brilliant blue eyes in contrast to Sango's gorgeous topaz hues. Everyone stared as I entered the room. My heart rate increased uncomfortably._

" _Hey, sleepwalker," greeted Rouge. "Tell me, where have you been?"_

_I tilted my head to the side in confusion and raised an eyebrow. "I should ask you that, Rouge… you're dead."_

" _Am I, though?" asked the fire demon, her voice dripping with arrogance._ Even in death…

" _Where will you go?" asked Kohaku. I turned to face the boy._

" _What?" I was so confused._

_Inuyasha approached me. He withdrew a sword—to my surprise, it was not the tetsusaiga. Instead, he wielded the sword of life that belonged to his brother, the tenseiga._

_I fell to my knees as vivid and colorful visions infiltrated my mind._

_I saw Sango, standing in the middle of an entirely white room. She was half-naked, covered by only a dark jade hakama and a handful of colorful paint splatters. Her hair was up in a messy, short ponytail. A line of rainbow-tinted paint was present across her eyes like a small mask of color._

_Suddenly, I was back in the waiting room, laying on the ground. Inuyasha, Kohaku, and Rouge towered over me, concerned looks on their faces. They too were now adorned in various semblances of color. Kohaku's face was tinted by blue and white. Silver and gold splotches were present mainly on Inuyasha's chest and shoulders. Purple and black splatter wildly covered the fire demon. Inuyasha held out his hand, covered in gold and silver. I took it._

_Sango stood before me again, this time, her back facing me. An anatomically correct image of a brain was tattooed in the middle of her back, just above her scar. She slowly looked over her shoulder at me, an intense look in her eyes, her face otherwise expressionless. Sango closed her eyes and reached over her shoulder, brushing her fingertips across the tattoo on her back._

_My geography bent again and I was now in a decaying ruin of a room; rainwater could be heard falling in the corner. The only thing in the room with me was a mirror. I walked up to it. I was dressed so elegantly, in a white kimono with silver trim. A maroon feather was sewn into the shoulder. Gold plated armor covered my chest. My hair was pulled back in a topknot; and my face was marked with turquoise and pink warpaint._

_The mirror shook and then shattered and I fell out of the floor, unable to scream._

_I slowed before I hit the next floor, back in the waiting room. As I did so, not a sound was heard, and Inuyasha, Kohaku, Rouge, and the others all jumped into the air in slow motion, anger and agony on their faces._

_I saw Sango once more. She stood in the middle of the white room, eyes closed, head tilted slightly up, arms outstretched, her hands low. Beyond the warpaint partially covering her bare chest, I could make out another tattoo, that of a rather detailed set of lungs. Sango slowly crossed her arms over her chest, holding onto her shoulders. She lowered her head and opened her eyes, making eye contact with me. The most subtle evidence of pain passed over features as she looked up once more, closing her pretty eyes and dragging her hands down her chest._

_I was drowning again, in crimson waters… maybe an ocean of blood._

_Oxygen violently reentered my lungs as I surfaced, from the ceiling in the hospital waiting room. Inuyasha jumped up and reached for me. I grabbed his outstretched hand._

" _You are now manually breathing…" said the hanyou; a mysterious blend of emotions were present in his golden eyes._

_He let go of me and I flew painlessly through the floor._

_I landed gracefully in front of Sango. Eyes closed, she brought a tattooed hand to her face, a heart now sketched over her mouth. I reached out for her, feeling the strongest wave of emotion hitting me, filling my heart with warmth, sorrow, love, and fear all at the same time. I closed my eyes and saw myself once more, but with Rouge and her band of corpses behind me. They soon dematerialized and I was now presented with the image of myself standing in a heartfelt embrace with Sango. She kissed me and I opened my eyes._

_I want to be all you think about… anything and everything you dream about…_

_Sango stood before me again, arms outstretched, hands low. Her piercing gaze never left me._

_The world spun yet again and I was back in the waiting room; this time, I was being restrained by Inuyasha and Kohaku, reaching desperately for a set of sliding doors. I watched Rouge and her crew vanish before my eyes in transparent violet flames._

_I opened my eyes to see Sango begin to float angelically above the floor. She slowly looked up and closed her eyes._

_Inuyasha's claws gripped my shoulder and my arm; Kohaku's small arms were wrapped strongly around my waist._

_I broke their restraint and burst through the doors. Sango found her footing on the floor once more. She opened her eyes and looked through me, expressionless. She seemed to faint and began to fall backwards in slow motion. I was paralyzed. Rouge and the ghost demon caught Sango and gently lowered her to the ground. The demons surrounded her, staring sadly at her unconscious form laying in the middle of the room. The bat demon dropped a single lotus flower on her before they all turned and vanished._

_I rushed to Sango's side, roughly shaking her shoulders, silently begging for her to wake._

_I want to be the one you can't breathe without…_

* * *

The hangover of colorful dreams would not let me rest in peace. I blamed the vivid and psychedelic imagery on my lack of food, water, and rest over the past forty-eight hours or more. I splashed more cold water on my face and returned to my bedroom.

Sango remained asleep on my bed. She was at least dreaming, from what I could gather. The slayer moved quite often, quite fitfully, but never fully waking.

That dream scared the hell out of me. It barely made any sense. Just a bunch of demons and colors… romanticized beloved memories… What stuck with me the most was not the bizarre imagery or the ghosts that visited me; but the overwhelming emotions that weaved throughout the entire sequence. I had never felt anything so strongly before in my life. The only thing that could even offer a fair comparison was my hatred and anger at Naraku for all that he had done to both me and Sango.

Sango…

I was falling for the beautiful taijiya. There was no denying it. She quite literally won my heart and presented me with it in the most accidental, unconventionally heroic display. That was more than I ever truthfully expected anyone to ever do for me. My original, rose-tinted and juvenile hope was that the great Lord Sesshomaru would be the one to free me of my servitude and hand me my heart. Now, I could not care less; I would rather fall for someone in the realest way, amidst the most brutal reality than blindly hope that a beautiful stranger would appear out of nowhere and rescue me.

I sat on the bed next to Sango. In spite of everything, she was still flawless to me. Her honesty, bravery, and loyalty could argue against her wounded body and fractured spirit. Sango was kindness. She was trust. She was patience.

She was love.

Or so I was beginning to believe.

I didn't know what the future held for either of us and part of me did not want to know. I was afraid. But I just knew that I would never let her go; I would never leave her side. I couldn't.

I had a feeling she still harbored romantic inclinations toward me. We never explicitly talked about it. We didn't have time now. I noted she was still happy to see Miroku on the battlefield; he embraced her and swept her off her feet with the same care and longing that I possessed. I was not plotting to win her over by any means necessary, but I think I maybe wanted her to know how I felt. Sango deserved to know that in a world where we can't get what we want, she could get me.

The way she looked at me, even after the battle, even through the tragedy… something was there. I was her comfort, her rock. And I cursed myself for not being a better shield. I never promised to protect her from Naraku; I did not want to set either of us up for failure in that aspect. But I did promise her that I would succeed in creating our exit. No matter what it took.

I caressed the side of her face, admiring her beauty. _Do you think of me as I do you? What are you thinking about, my dear Sango?_ She moved a little and let out a small noise as she slept. _I want to be all you think about… anything and everything you dream about…_

_As if I had it all figured out…_

We would leave this place. I swear it. The time of reckoning was upon us. I held my hand in front of my face and examined the thin white line on my palm, reminding me of the promise I had made with Sango, sealed with our blood. I looked past my promise to the sleeping girl next to me. _I want to be the one you can't breathe without…_

I laid beside her and held her carefully in my arms, wishing on every star I'd ever seen that she would wake up and return my embrace.

_If you could open your eyes…_


	24. Chapter Twenty-three: Drowning In My Sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: "It's Dangerous Business Walking Out Your Front Door" by Underoath]

_There's no turning back tonight._

_Will you run away with me, still?_

_Get out while we're still alive…_

I sat beside Sango. She was still asleep in all her unconscious beauty. I had not slept really since our escape from the dungeons. I stayed awake, lonely and waiting; restless and vigilant. I had no idea how much time had truly passed. Neither Naraku or Kanna had come for us. The natural skeptic in me kept my guard up.

I had left the room once today to take a walk around the castle, just to see… Naraku's scent was almost absent, aside from near that damned cellar door. I swear the barrier overhead the whole place flickered once or twice. I was never able to see it before. It was raining. I feel like it had been raining since the siege on the castle and our mal-timed escape effort. I stayed outside in the rain, staring listlessly up into the sky for who knows how long.

As I explored the ghostly compound, I decided that it would be now or never. I was almost _certain_ that this time, Naraku had entered his reconstruction period for sure. Why else would he just leave us be as he had done? He must have been satisfied with our punishment, at the very least. Or so confident… Perhaps he thought we had perished finally.

I knew I still couldn't kill him.

But would it be enough?

I wanted to fight him. I wanted to call him out and challenge him. I wanted to fight for my own misplaced honor and for Sango's broken heart.

I couldn't kill him, but it would be enough.

There was no going back from my loosely-forming plan of attack. There was a good chance I would die. Both of us would die.

_But I would gladly expend my last breaths dragging that motherfucker to hell with me._

_What have I got to lose?_

Sango stirred in her sleep beside me. She always seemed so close to waking up. _She had to…_ The taijiya groaned and rolled over on her side, stiffening in pain as she did so. I carefully leaned toward her and repositioned her on her back so that she wouldn't further injure herself. Sango protested weakly as I held her; even in her sleep, there was a strength and a defiance in her resistance. I sighed and tucked her in, hoping the comfort and perceived restraint of the blankets would keep her still enough. At least until I returned.

The moon was on the rise outside. I glanced back at Sango. A pained expression was present on her pale face; I was almost positive she was trapped in another nightmare. I couldn't help but bring my hand to her forehead and brush back her hair. Her skin was warm, almost feverish. She made a small noise of discontent at my touch. I brought my hand to hers and held it gently. I looked down at my free hand, at the faintest scar reminding me of my promise to her.

Sango barely squeezed my hand. I felt like my heart stopped beating.

"Sango?" I put my hand on her shoulder and shook. Nothing. My hopes were dashed once more. "Say something," I quietly begged. "I'm not giving up on you…"

Imagery from my wild and vivid dream the night before flashed before my eyes. All I could see was Sango, beautiful and dangerous, covered in wildflower warpaint, and staring at me with a gaze so intense…

I kissed her on the forehead and headed to the doorway. I gave her one last look, full of undying devotion and concern, before entering the hallway. Only two stops—the kitchen and the armory-and I would return to her side. I had to make haste and gather supplies.

We were getting out of here.

* * *

_[Sango's point of view.]_

_Fog surrounded me. And it was cold. I felt as if I had been lost for ages. And I had no idea what I was doing… was I looking for something…?_

_I was in the middle of a pier of some sort. The wood looked old; the platforms were all broken and disconnected from one another._

" _Sango…"_

_I gasped and turned around, hypervigilant. My heart pounded in my chest. Why am I so scared?_

" _Sango…"_

_I opened my mouth to call out, to demand the name of my unseen observer, yet no words could form. I surveyed the area once more and I thought I saw someone a few platforms away from me. I took off to chase after the potential phantom. The rotting wood shook beneath my feet. I looked down to see that the particular platform I was on was riddled with holes and decay. I also took note of my attire and apparent weapon. I was dressed in a simple light blue and gray kimono, sleeveless and short. I held a kusarigama blade in one hand, the accompanying chain in the other._

" _Sango!"_

_Mindful of my steps this time, I began my pursuit. I hopped across the few platforms, breaking a few rotted planks as I traversed the apparent ruin. I made it to where I thought my target was but was unable to find anyone. Just more fog and questions._

" _Hey!"_

 _I turned and looked over my shoulder. I could discern the figure of a man two platforms away from where I stood. He looked so familiar… He_ felt _familiar… I gave chase once more. As I ran, the mist and humidity in the air began to uncomfortably fill my lungs, inviting fatigue. When I thought I finally made it to the shrouded figure, he jumped to the next platform. The rotted plank below me caved in and I screamed as I fell. I was able to grab hold of the still intact wood and pull myself back up. The mysterious stranger only watched me, emotionlessly, from afar._

_I was quick to get back on my feet and I ran at full-speed to the edge of my current platform. I realized mid-air that the distance between there and my planned destination was greater than I had assumed. I dropped my weapon and held onto the edge of the pier. I looked down to see the blade fall into the dark water, only about a story down. I heard footsteps approach. I looked up and gasped at the figure before me._

_He looked like me. He was about twice my age, dressed in the most elegant demon slayer's armor. He held hiraikotsu on his back and peered down at me. Who…? Why can't I think…?_

" _Daughter…"_

_Tears welled in my eyes._

" _Father…?" I looked to him, a whirlwind of dangerous emotions brewing in my heart. "Where am I?" Dare I ask…?_

_My father said nothing. He crouched down at the pier's edge but still offered no helping hand._

" _Where am I?" I asked again. "What have I done?"_

_He reached out and brushed the back of his hand against my cheek. I leaned in to his touch; a lost comfort that I did not even remember that I had forgotten. Just like his voice…_

" _You're here…" was his long-anticipated but shortly-worded answer._

" _But where is here…?" My arms were growing tired. I didn't know how much longer I could hold on. "Father… help me?"_

_He withdrew his hand and I could feel my heart breaking again. A sadness overtook my father's brilliant brown eyes. "I cannot. I'm sorry I was not able to protect you, my dearest child."_

" _Protect me…?" I asked. I blinked in confusion, feeling a cold tear trickle down my cheek._

_Father stood up and turned away._

" _Have I done something terrible? Please, I need to know!" I could no longer hide the tremor in my voice. His silence only made me feel worse; this unnerving sense of dread and fear built up even further inside me. "Please say something! Anything!" I began to cry openly, unashamed. "Sometimes I forget your voice; I can't stand it!" My grip was slipping._

_Father turned around and looked at me; he had tears in his eyes._

" _At least help me up? Take me with you! There's so much I want to say to you!" I sobbed. It was getting so hard to breathe; and now the muscles in my arms and shoulders were beginning to ache. The wood cracked in my weakening grasp._

_Father crouched down once more. He tormented me once again with a soft caress of my cheek and wiped away my grief-stricken tears. "I am afraid I can't take you with me, Sango," he said, sadly. "You still have a few things you need to do."_

" _What?! What is it I have left to do?! What am I even_ _doing?!" I cried out, nearly choking on my words._

_My father leaned forward and planted a gentle kiss on my forehead, followed by brushing my hair back from my eyes. A simple comfort of my childhood that pulled so violently at my heartstrings and broken memory. He grabbed both of my hands in his strong grip, his courageous, determined gaze never leaving mine._

" _Don't give up, Sango…" He began to pull me up until I was no longer dangling over the edge of the decaying pier. Father sat me down in front of him. I looked up to him, literally and metaphorically speaking; he was over a head taller than I was._

_I thought I saw Mother walk past in the background. I motioned to take off and dart around my father but he stopped me, his hands on my shoulders._

" _I miss you…" I said quietly, unsure which parent it was directed to. I tried to get around him once more, but was thwarted yet again._

_Father got down on one knee and took my hands in his, assuming the stance he took many times when he had to explain something to me as a child; usually some reasoning behind some tragedy beyond the scope of my young mind. Like when my mother passed away._

" _Have I failed you?" I asked through my tears. "I tried so hard to be the warrior you raised me to be!"_

" _Sango, look at me," commanded Father, in his firm yet gentle tone. I did as instructed. "Please know that it is not the time…"_

_His words barely made sense to me. "…not the time? What?"_

_He pulled me into a warm, much-needed embrace. "I love you, Sango."_

" _I love you, too."_

_We parted and both fully stood up. Father put his hands on my shoulders. "I'm sorry, my daughter."_

" _Sorry?"_

" _It's too soon… As I said, you still have business to attend to…"_

" _Wha-?!"_

_I screamed as he shoved me off the pier. I fell in what felt like slow motion and stared up in astonishment at what had just happened. The cold wind robbed my lungs of oxygen before I even hit the icy waters below._

_I found out real fast that I was unable to swim to the surface, despite my efforts. The more I struggled and desperately clawed my way through the waters, the colder the embrace of the depths became. Darkness surrounded me until I was positive I was no longer breathing. I could feel the deathly cold water stabbing at my lungs, drowning me slowly._

_In my head, I think I saw an angel. Or two. One had red hair and violet eyes. One looked like me but with blue eyes. I think they pitied me._

_I came to in a darkened room, tinted red with the cruel light of a flame lending itself well to highlight the blood on the walls. I was bound in chains and my entire body ached as if I had been subject to every torture imaginable. I felt a blow to the back of my neck, at the base of my skull. My vision went black once more but I did not lose consciousness this time._

_When I opened my eyes once more, there were two people beside me in my prison. I swear I recognized them both, but from where, I did not know. A woman stood to my right; she was absolutely beautiful. She held an otherworldly beauty about her with her red eyes, pale skin, pointed ears, and wavy dark hair held together in a small knot at the top of her head. For some reason, this woman evoked strong emotions within me; emotions that I could not bring myself to comprehend._

_The man on my left was tall and handsome. He had dark blue eyes and such a pretty face… the kind you'd find in someone that could save. His medium-length black hair was held together in a low ponytail and he was dressed in the robes of a Buddhist monk. His presence irradiated charm and confidence. He also evoked a similar emotion in me, akin to that of the ethereal woman._

_Were they a god and goddess?_

_A third person appeared in a cloud of toxic smoke. A massive, heavy, draining presence entered the room with him. He was tall and pale, dressed in that of royalty, with unruly, long black hair. He had crimson red eyes that seemed to bore through my very soul. I felt weak in his gaze. I could no longer acknowledge the presence of the other two figures in the room._

_My chains fell away. The goddess herself deemed me worthy of saving._

_The man with red eyes let out a deep, angered battle cry._

_I fell to the ground and looked up to see him unsheathe a sword and swing at me. My goddess shielded me from the strike. I screamed as she faded to dust and appeared to disappear in a mysterious wind. The god with the guise of a monk sprung into action in slow motion and produced a golden sword wrapped in prayer beads. The two warriors locked weapons and I felt the worst pain imaginable in my heart and in my head._

_The devil and god are raging inside me._

* * *

My own scream woke me. It was music to my ringing ears.

I screamed until I felt as if my throat was bleeding. I wasn't even sure where I was. I looked around, extremely disoriented. I was in a bedroom; the only sources of light were the moon's shining face spying on me through the window and a lantern in the corner. The light was too bright for me.

I raised my hands to cover my eyes, still able to see the light burned into my eyelids. I could only really raise one hand. I blinked and slowly opened my eyes to look down and see that my left arm was tightly wrapped in a bandage and what felt like a splint; it was also resting in a sling. My right hand was wrapped up, another splint holding my fourth and fifth fingers together.

As I went to sit up, a terrible stinging, bruising pain shot through my abdomen. I cried out and leaned back, clutching my apparent injuries with my bandaged hand. I soon became aware of an intense migraine that started at the base of my skull and irradiated throughout my entire head, pulsing in my eyes. Pain also coursed through my lower body at the slightest movement; the source felt like a possible break or fracture in my right hip.

I heard doors sliding open and directed my anguished attention there.

The goddess of my dying dream stood before me; the angel from my nightmares.

"Sango…" she gasped my name, her beautiful ruby eyes filling with emotion. She hastily slid the doors shut and dropped the sack she had been carrying to the floor. She rushed over to me and sat beside me, pulling me into an embrace. I inhaled her scent and felt immediate comfort.

_Cherry blossoms and pine._

"Kagura?" I remembered her. She pulled back, tears in her eyes. She rested her hands on my shoulders. I tensed a little at her touch.

"Sango, I'm so sorry!" She pulled me back into a careful hold.

I wanted to ask why she was apologizing to me. I accepted her offer of comfort and rested my head on her shoulder. I put my good arm around her, feeling her hands on my back. I sat in her comfort for a few moments, catching my breath and my emotions.

Everything came rushing back to me all at once.

I could not control the sobs and shakes that racked my body. I could not contain the curses and wails of pure agony that escaped me. Nothing in this world could ever compare to what I was feeling right now. No words existed; only the most bitter anguish and unbridled rage. Vulnerability, defeat, fear… the lowest point in my existence. I had nothing left.

"I'm sorry…" Kagura said quietly; she was crying, too. "I couldn't protect you…" She held me tightly, still mindful of my condition. I felt her place the gentlest kiss on the top of my head.

"It's not your fault…" I breathed out. My throat hurt. I felt so weak; hunger and dehydration pulled at my insides. But I had no interest in food or water.

"I'm sorry," Kagura apologized again. Her crying soon transformed into sobs, shaking her small shoulders and breaking my heart even further. Kagura's sadness only made me feel worse. _Do not weep for me, beautiful creature of the wind… I am a lost cause…_

I held onto her, longing to be anywhere but here. I wanted to fall into her and live there forever. The solace in her arms was more than I ever deserved.

I thought I saw her die.

That thought reignited the violent sobs that tore through my being and I clung to my wind-controlling protector like she was the very thing keeping me rooted to this cruel fucking existence.

I think she might be just that, actually…

If not for her embrace, I would have gladly accepted death.

I wanted to sleep forever.

* * *

_[Kagura's point of view.]_

_She was alive and breathing._

_My love was alive…_

_There that word is…_

I believe I felt it in my soul when she had awoken. I was positive I heard her scream on my way back from raiding the kitchen. That was the most tortured cry I had ever heard and ever will hear. This instance sparked me to run back to my room as fast as I could.

I rushed to her, the most intense storm of emotions inside me. I pulled her close and held her as she cried. Sango cried and I could do so little to alleviate her suffering. She possessed a pain that I could never take away. A mark had been made on her soul that would stay with her, even long after her physical wounds had healed.

The mark had been made on me, as well.

I thought I'd lost her.

Sango clung to me, shaking so badly. I wanted to hold her so tightly and never, ever let go. But I had to be considerate of her injuries; the poor girl had a myriad of broken bones and related maladies. I wished I could make all of her pain disappear with the snap of my fingers or the wave of my fan… but that would not happen. Fate, it seemed, was much more cruel than I had originally thought.

I got to watch the fire in her eyes get violently snuffed out. This wondrous, inspiring fire that had drawn me to her initially… she had begun to get it back during our week alone together. I was blessed to see her begin to recover and find her confidence again. And now she was broken. Truly, undeniably broken.

I could feel it as I held her. I could barely look into her eyes. Bold determination and strength was replaced with despair and this unsettling, heart-breaking raw _fear._ This was not the woman I came to know in battle and at my side as a friend. This was not the woman who defended my falsely-held honor and fought thousands of demons with the force of a hundred men.

But I still loved her.

And I needed to protect her.

_(Like I had failed to do before…)_

I did not care right now if she would ever return that same love that I reserved for her but I knew in my soul that I loved her and I had to protect her, at all costs. I needed to fulfill my blood-sworn promise to her that I would escape this wretched place and take her with me.

And now, maybe I could. I had enough of a plan at hand.

Or I would die trying.

I didn't know how to break it to her.

But our time was ticking.

"Sango," I said her name as softly as I could.

"Yes, Kagura?" her voice was so small, so broken… _My dear…_

"We're getting out of here tonight…" my insides tightened with anxiety. Any reaction from her was entirely unpredictable at this point.

"What?" she asked. She finally pulled away from me. We locked eyes, concern and defeat evident in her gorgeous copper hues. "How…?"

"Tonight's the night," I stated.

"How do you know?" asked Sango. I couldn't tell if that was healthy and rightfully-said skepticism or anger in her voice.

"It has to be," my words were more confident than I felt. "That motherfucker is nowhere to be found. I've walked these empty halls for the past day or more, collecting supplies and just… _waiting._ "

Sango sniffled and wiped her eyes on her free arm. The tears did not stop, although she no longer shook as badly now. "So, what…?" A dark laugh escaped her. "I _want_ to believe you… _I do…"_

"I don't blame you for your skepticism, Sango." I grabbed her hand and clasped it between mine as our eyes met. I sighed. "I know I can't kill him… but if I can just hurt him _enough…_ like the time of his initial disappearance… When he fought Inuyasha and Sesshomaru…"

"What if you fail?"

"I'll die trying," I said, unable to hide the bitter anger in my voice. "I will not fail you again, Sango."

"You've never failed me, Kagura," said the slayer.

"Yes, I have!" I couldn't look at her. Tears stung at my eyes and I held my face in my hands. "If I had just told Inuyasha and the others to hold off for just _a few more days-!_ "

"No!" Sango scooted closer to me, whimpering in pain as she did so, and put her arm around me, burying her face in my shoulder. "That's not your fault!"

"Yes it is!"

" _No!"_ She held me as tightly as she could manage. "Kagura, it's _not your fault."_ She pulled away from me and held my face in her hand. She tilted my head up but I still avoided her gaze.

" _Sango, you almost died!"_ The image of her face as Naraku abused her flashed through my psyche.

" _Goddammit, Kagura! It's not your fault!"_ I didn't expect her to shout like that. A hint of her former ferocity and brutality remained in her voice. "Look at me."

I shook my head. Her grip on my chin tightened ever so slightly.

" _Look at me."_

I finally obeyed. The intensity in her chocolate brown eyes about set my soul on fire.

" _It. Is not. Your. Fault."_ She punctuated the words with a force that matched the conviction in her gaze. I let out a shaky breath. Sango then brought her busted lips to mine in a soft and unexpected kiss. The taijiya slowly broke the contact and caressed my face. I brought my hand up to hers and then slid it down to rest in a loose grip on her wrist.

"It's not your fault, Kagura," she restated. "You had no way of knowing for sure."

"But I know _now…"_ I protested, still feeling acidic guilt eating away at my insides.

"But not then," said Sango. "You can't change the past…"

A silence fell between us. I still held onto the blame for the failed escape and her current condition. I would hold onto that burden for a long time, despite the fact that she _truly believed_ me to be absolved of any responsibility in the matter. Arguing with her was pointless; I would rather waste my breath on unrequited 'I love yous' than going against her and pushing my luck at all.

"So… when…?" I could tell Sango did not even know how to ask the question.

I didn't even know that I had an answer.

"Now." I left the bed and equipped the makeshift travel bag I had prepared. I stood before the injured demon slayer. She looked up at me, the tiniest sliver of hope in her eyes.

* * *

I walked through the halls like I was marching into battle… or a death sentence.

It was the same thing, either way. More than likely.

_But I would give it my all…_

Sango shifted painfully on my back. It was the safest way I could carry her, given her injuries; and there was no way _in hell_ I was going to leave her behind while I confronted the beast. I adjusted my hold on her thighs, wrapped around my waist. She let out a small moan of pain into the back of my neck and the tightness of her arms around my shoulders increased.

"I'm sorry, my dear," I couldn't help but apologize.

"It's ok," she breathed out through gritted teeth.

We were almost there. My rage was hitting a boiling point within me. I wished that this place would set ablaze and explode in my wake as I stalked the halls. I wished I could bring wreckage to the walls and destroy every single fucking thing I looked at as I made my way to the cellar. _This bastard will pay…_ A growl escaped me.

We stood above the trap door. I felt Sango's grip on me tighten and I could feel her heart rate increase against my back. I glanced around the corridor one final time.

"Sango…" She gripped my clothing tightly in her fists. "I am going to leave you up here. I have to."

"I know…" She was fighting the urge to cry.

"I'm going to put you down now, ok?" I really didn't want to…

I carefully lowered myself to the ground so Sango could halfway dismount me. I spun around quickly and helped her steady herself. She let out a hiss of pain and I let her fall into me.

" _God dammit! Everything hurts!"_

"I know, darling…" I scooped her up into my arms as gently as I could, one arm behind her knees, the other supporting her shoulders. Sango put her arms around my neck, wincing in pain as she did so.

"Kagura," said Sango. "Are you scared?"

I paused. We reached a wall and I crouched down, deeming that the safest place for her at the moment. "Yes," I finally answered. "Why do you ask?" I set her down so that she could lean her back against the wall.

"I could feel your heartbeat." My eyes met hers.

I knew I loved her then.

"Kagura, whatever happens…" started Sango.

I took her face in my hands. "I have a promise to fulfill to you. You mean so much to me, Sango… you don't even know…"

_(I love you…)_

Sango leaned forward and placed a shaky, fearful kiss on my lips, grabbing my hand mid-action. She was very slow to let go of me.

"Please don't leave me…"

"I'll be right back…" I stood up and slowly backed away from her. I could not bring myself to turn away. "And when I return, we will both be free…" She reached for me as I left.

I checked for my fan inside my kimono, then touched my concealed katana hidden beneath my robes against my leg. Satisfied that both weapons were readily available, I gave Sango one last look before placing my hands on the latch to the trap door.

I almost told her I loved her.

I took a deep breath and opened the door. The vile smell of death and decay wafted up at me in a warm gust.

I jumped down, completely foregoing the decaying ladder leading down into the wretched secret chamber.

I looked around. The room was dark and thick with miasma and rot. Rejected demon corpses surrounded me.

_It was time, indeed._

I couldn't help the evil, triumphant smirk that found its way to my face.

He must have expanded his reconstruction, as the cellar now seemed to entail more than one room. Judging from the sickly smell of ripe decay that filled my nostrils and the vast amount of rejected demon parts, Naraku was likely well into his reconstruction period. _And therefore, weak as fuck…_ I carefully trudged through the disgust and filth, always scanning the area for any sign of the beast himself or my treacherous sister, Kanna.

I was careful to remember my way back, noting that the area had changed immensely since my last time down here. I had to make it back to Sango in one piece. I could not leave her here. The smell of miasma grew stronger and as I turned a corner, I was met with Kanna.

"Kanna," I greeted, reaching for my fan and resting my hand on it.

"Kagura," said Kanna. I swear the slightest tint of surprise coated my name as it left her. "I thought you to be dead, sister."

"You thought wrong."

Kanna was silent for a moment. "You know you have betrayed him…"

"I am well aware…" The realization was quickly setting in that I would likely have to fight Kanna. Maybe even _kill_ her. The little yokai girl was devoid of any emotion at all, as far as I knew, but a part of me still could not help but call her my sister…

So be it.

"I know you seek Master Naraku, Kagura."

"Does he know of my actions?"

An uneasy silence hung in the air. "No."

"No? Are you sure?" _Why, though…?! Why has she not said anything to him? Is she playing with me?_

Kanna nodded. "But I cannot let you pass so easily."

My stomach turned a little. "Kanna, I do not want to hurt you."

"And I do not wish to harm you, Kagura." Kanna held up her mirror.

I held up my fan. "Do your worst."

The mirror glowed a blinding white and a light shot out of it. I dodged it and cried out, "Dance of blades!" Kanna swerved and narrowly avoided my attack. Her mirror glowed once more, this time with a golden light accompanied by a red afterglow. A swarm of saimyosho soon escaped the mirror.

I ducked down as they flew at me, much quicker than I had anticipated. A few stings landed on my hands as I covered my head. I violently twisted and turned, swatting at the insects. I was able to wave my fan around and conjure up the beginnings of a small tornado.

" _Dance of the dragon!"_

Somehow, I managed to escape my own winds. I landed next to the wall and rapidly got back to my feet. My tornado tore down the hall, taking the saimyosho with it. There was no sign of Kanna as I watched my winds dissipate at the end of the corridor.

"Kagura…"

I spun around and was frozen on the spot. An ice-cold sense of dread literally gripped my heart as I made eye contact with my "sister." A light blue mist was emanating from the mirror, latching onto me.

"I cannot let you proceed, Kagura…"

"Kanna…" I gritted my teeth. "You don't even understand… I wish you could…"

"I am content with not feeling…" stated Kanna. "I think it might hurt too much…"

She was not wrong…

My arms grew numb. _No… I cannot be stopped here! So close! And by my deceitful, brainwashed sibling…_ I thought of the days I spent with Sango at the waterfall. Every day was filled with sunlight and blue skies. I could breathe when I was with her… Sango's beautiful face came to the forefront of my mind.

I willed my limbs to move. It hurt.

"Kagura, why do you resist? Is it really worth it?" asked Kanna. If I was not mistaken, a genuine curiosity was _almost_ present in her voice.

I growled and could feel the heat returning to my extremities. "You wouldn't understand, Kanna. You said so yourself…" I cried out as I regained control of my arms. Kanna's eyes widened in surprise. I was surprised, too.

"Kanna…" I pocketed my fan. The little yokai was still in apparent shock. Something I thought I'd never see…

"I'm sorry, my sister." I pulled back my fist and swung it as hard as I could into Kanna's precious scrying mirror.

The glass shattered into hundreds of little pieces. In them, I could see traces of both of our shocked expressions as they fell to the ground.

Kanna fell to her knees, her mouth barely open in what could only be inferred as astonishment. "Kagura…"

"Kanna, I'm sorry!" I withdrew my fan and waved it in her direction. The ghostly child flew down the hall and hit the end wall with a loud crash that shook pebbles loose from the ceiling. I stood there for a moment, heart racing, breathing heavily. Part of me hoped that I had not killed her.

I said a silent prayer of sorts in my head, in case I killed my supposed sibling. I spared her no tears for now, opting to carry on with my mission. I continued on my journey.

I only needed to follow the scent of decay and the thickness of the miasma.

Rounding a corner, I entered not just another corridor, but a massive underground chamber. Pulsating demon parts surrounded me in tubes of blood and worms and putridity. The smell was almost unbearable, even for me.

" _NARAKU!"_ I screamed out, begging him to meet me for a long-awaited challenge.

The room shook. I still did not have a positive, confirmed visual on the demon himself.

" _Come out and fight me, you coward!_ " I cried out again, impressed by my own projection and bravado. A worm corpse fell from the ceiling behind me with a sickening _squish_ as it landed on the floor. I turned to face it, just to be sure. The corpse wiggled for a moment. I angrily stomped it; the carapace erupted in a gush of guts and blood.

I spun back around and my jaw dropped. I clapped my hand over my mouth to stifle a scream.

Naraku was about fifteen paces away from me. He clawed his way toward me, as a torso of flesh and bones, leaving a trail of blood and grime on the disgusting floor as he slowly drew closer. I assumed a battle stance, hoping this would be as easy as it looked.

" _Kagura…_ " my name came out slurred.

" _Dance of blades!_ " I waved my fan, sending my windblades at him. They hit their target, further marring and ripping his decaying, paper-thin skin. Naraku stopped for a moment.

"I did not expect you to live, Kagura…" Naraku gurgled out.

"You never expected much from me, did you?!" I called out. I sent more blades his way. He did not stop. It was… unsettling…

"Kagura…" The walls shook a little, pulsing with derelict demon remains. I looked around, my guard entirely up. My hand brushed against the hilt of my hidden sword. "You have committed the ultimate betrayal and yet you live… you are here, to vanquish me…"

"What else would I be here for, _motherfucker?_ " I grinned at the power in my words.

A loose tentacle gripped my ankle. I gasped and severed it immediately with my wind, jumping back. The fleshy stump that was Naraku stopped in the middle of the room. It appeared to rise up, building a body of sorts.

"I will still fight you, Kagura… You will not win so easily…"

"Oh no you don't!" I ran at him, hoping to strike before he was able to conjure a completed body. I withdrew my hidden blade. Naraku's eyes widened; he was caught off guard by my unconventional weapon choice. I jumped into the air, holding the blade tight with both hands. I brought it down on Naraku's shoulder, forcing a clean, gory cut from there all the way down to his hip. It nearly ripped him in half and stopped the regeneration for the time being.

I landed and rushed past him, quickly circling back around toward the entrance to the room. I would not get caught in here. Breathing heavily, I pulled out my fan, sheathing my sword with my other hand.

" _Dance of the dragon!"_ I conjured up a small tornado and sent it toward my wretched creator. It picked him up and began to pull him apart. The area around me pulsed and faded in and out.

_That was weird…_

I waved my fan, sending Naraku's pieces flying into the back wall. I ended the small tornado shortly after and stood still, waiting… _Did I do it…?_

The room stopped pulsating and everything went silent.

After what felt like hours but in reality was likely not even minutes, I heard a rhythm, like a pulse, from within somewhere in the room. I cautiously moved forward, following the sound of the noise. Almost at the end of the room, where Naraku's disembodied head and splattered remains were, I discovered a pulsing piece of flesh and gore on the floor.

_Is that… Naraku's heart?_

I gripped my blade and withdrew it. I looked to Naraku's head; no life was present in his crimson eyes. I held the sword over the pulsing mass.

_This was it._

I brought the blade down, the pulse increased violently.

Just as the tip of the blade hit flesh, it was stopped. I hit an invisible barrier.

"Oh, _come on!"_

A light formed around the mass of pulsating flesh. The ceiling began to shake; pieces of demon parts and the ceiling started raining down. The walls pulsed madly; the various demon pieces and tubes of flesh began to shake and burst around me. I looked to the lump of gore on the ground. I angrily swung my blade at it one final time; my strike reverberated through the sword and into my arm like I had struck metal.

The entire back portion of the ceiling began to collapse.

_God dammit…_

I wanted to stay and slay the beast. I stood there, rooted to the spot, trapped by indecision. The fleshy lump pulsed again, as if it were mocking me.

I heard a crash behind me and turned around. My way out had become at least halfway blocked.

_Shit!_

I turned spastically to the pile of gore again. It glowed a sickening red and the pieces of flesh nearby began to glow as well.

I had to leave.

I hesitantly turned tail and ran out of there as fast as I could. As I tore off around the corner, I heard the ceiling and walls beginning to cave in behind me. A small explosion launched me forward as I entered the main underground concourse. I hastily retrieved my fan but opted to leave the katana, as it fell further away. I practically flew to my feet and returned my hellbent race to the surface, praying my memory served me well enough to escape before I was crushed.

Two wrong turns and one desperate redirection later, I was gifted by the lovely sight of the ladder leading up top. I felt the slow burn of my leg muscles and a well-earned stitch beginning to form in my side. The ground shook violently beneath me. As soon as I had the chance, I literally jumped onto the ladder and scurried up it, two rungs at a time.

I burst through the trap door and slammed it shut behind me. I looked around in a panic. Thankfully, Sango sat against the wall where I had left her.

"Kagura!" she cried out, reaching for me. I ran over to her, immediately scooping her up in my arms. "Ow!" She yelped in pain at the haste of my actions. My heart hurt a little.

"I'm sorry, dear, but we have _got_ to get out of here now!" I held her close and secure, only taking off at a full run once I felt her grab onto me as well. "The whole place is going to collapse!"

" _What did you do?_ " asked Sango.

I dodged a crumbling staircase and quickly turned, searching for another way out. _There's another at the opposite end of the hall… But it only leads to the second floor, not first…_ "I don't know," I breathed, "He's not dead—"

We made it down the hall just in time; the floor cracked in half and caved in just as we reached the stairs. As I ran up the flight, I could feel each step crumbling behind me. I made it to the second floor. I knew where there was another set of stairs that would take us down to the main level… I held Sango tight as I began a renewed sprint down the quaking hallway.

The once beautiful architecture crumbled and collapsed around me. If my eyes did not deceive me… part of it appeared to be evaporating as well… fluttering off into the night sky like ashes. A wall collapsed right in front of me and I couldn't move in time. I tripped on the wreckage, falling to the ground. Somehow, I was able to spin around so that I avoided falling on top of Sango. We both cried out in pain as we hit the floor.

"Sango!" I frantically picked the battered slayer up again, trying to ignore her curse as I flung her over my shoulder, my treatment much rougher than I ever would have intended.

"Don't worry about it, just get us the fuck out of here!" Sango cried out, gripping handfuls of my clothing and hanging onto me as her life literally depended on it.

My adrenaline-fueled run was abruptly stopped when I reached my planned destination. The stairs were gone, completely crumbled and swallowed into a crater.

" _Shit!"_ I spun back around. The way from which we had come was already blocked by the ceiling falling in.

I ran the other way, adjusting Sango as I turned. She let out a pained whimper at the haste of my action and I muttered a sincere apology as I ran. We made it to a balcony. Unfortunately, it was not the one I was hoping it would have been.

I peered over the edge and quickly jumped back. It was too high up to jump. I spun around, holding Sango tightly in my arms.

The way back was already inaccessible. The entire second floor was destroyed, the floor now missing and the ceiling falling in quickly after it. The remaining architecture beneath me quaked dangerously.

"Kagura…" said Sango, her voice small.

"Sango…"

The structure beneath me began to crack.

The fleeting suggestion of using my feather crossed my mind.

Another crack.

I couldn't do it safely with Sango in my arms.

The balcony began to collapse.

I held onto Sango as tightly as I could, knowing full well I was probably hurting her. She clung to me with an equally intense grip.

" _Don't let go!"_


	25. Chapter Twenty-four: I Wanted So Badly to Be Brave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: "I Wanted So Badly to Be Brave" by The Wonder Years]

The sky was a dark blue, a few clouds floating amidst the few stars that were out. A halo was blooming from the center of the moon and the air was thinning as the humidity dissipated. With each step I took away from the disaster behind us, the broken bones in my ankle ground together like broken glass. The rain had washed away some of the thickness in the air and the miasma traces left behind but it would never wash away the tragedies burned forever into my soul. I looked down at the unconscious girl in my arms and bit back angry tears, deciding if my gaze lingered too long that I may fail us both again.

I knew where we were now. Had we really not gone that far? I smiled ironically at the sight before me—the waterfall that hid a cave which had been my refuge the duration of my short life. The shallow pond at its end eventually fed into smaller waterfalls forming the stream that I used to walk through to get away. This was the place I went to try to escape, to try to take the pain away. I brought her here for the same reasons. A bittersweet memory crept into my mind of our first kiss here. I planned on getting us further away than here but this would have to do. She was still severely injured from the a few nights prior and I had taken the brunt of the fall when the castle began to dissipate.

‘Dissipate’ was an understatement. The place didn’t just disintegrate this time, it fucking _collapsed_ before it began to scatter like ashes in the wind. We were only one or maybe two stories up but it was enough to break my goddamn bones when we hit the ground. I hadn’t expected that at all. Luckily, I had been able to grab her and position us so that when the structure began to collapse, I was what broke her fall. I would make do. I would heal. She would not have.

I managed to carry her up the set of natural stairs that were sculpted from the rocks leading up to the waterfall and I slipped behind it. I walked to the backmost part of the small cave and set her down gently against its wall before standing and letting our makeshift travel bag fall noisily off my shoulders to the ground. She stirred a little at the clatter but did not wake. I let myself fall to my knees finally, the searing pain of my broken ankle finally made its way up most of my leg and was now biting at my hip. I would be fine by morning, though. Always was. I crawled to the wall and sat against it and glanced down at her. My eyes scanned her sleeping form, noting the bandages on her arms and the wrap on her right hand. I brought my own hand before my face and gazed at the latest scar gracing my palm.

_“Where did you get that?” I looked curiously at the knife she had pulled out of her sleeve. Alarming, given recent developments._

_“I got it last night when I brought us dinner.” Made sense. Must have stolen it from the kitchens._

_“And what do you plan on doing with that?”_

_“I’m going to get us out of here.”_

_“With_ that _?”_

_She looked to me, an unreadable expression on her face but a small glint of something in her eyes._

_“It used to be a custom among my people that before a major battle—one where the odds of winning were astronomically low—we would take blood oaths with our brothers and sisters in arms.” She closed her eyes, cut open her palm and held it out to me. I winced myself and looked away, eyes closing for a moment._

_“You’re my friend. You’ve helped me in so many ways when it very well could have cost you your own life at times.” She stared into my soul, the usual fear in her eyes replaced by a bold determination. That fire I had been drawn to. That many have been drawn to. “I’m not leaving this place without you at my side.”_

_Those words hit me so deep and struck a note in my heart that I didn’t know existed. I bit down and took the knife from her. I rolled up the sleeve on my right arm and held out my palm. The knife cut deep through the sensitive skin and I dropped it. I grabbed her outreached hand and squeezed it tight. You weren’t born my sister but you’d die that way._

_“We will get out of here. We are going to win. And then this will all be over and we’ll be better off for it.”_

I wanted to stop it all, I swear I did. I watched you put on a brave face; _I wanted so badly to be brave._


	26. Chapter Twenty-five: Crawling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: "Crawling" by Linkin Park]

_[Sango's point of view.]_

Collapse.  
Debris.  
Dust.  
Rain.  
Explosions ringing in my ears, falling…  
Suddenly, I was being carried. I wasn’t sure where.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------

Water rushing nearby.  
Cool air.  
Pain.  
Smoke.  
I tried to push myself up on my hands and knees. The moment I exerted any kind of force on my left hand, it slipped and I fell back to the ground. I remembered now, broken bones… the pain radiated from my forearm up into my shoulder and seemed to sit there as memories came pouring back to me. I remembered the battle, the castle collapsing… I think I died…

I woke up and screamed. And then she was there.

I felt sick. The past few nights were a horrific blur... Every screaming nerve ending reminded me. I rolled over on my back and stared at the ceiling. I was in a cave. Shadows of flames danced all around me on the walls. I closed my eyes once more, this headache throbbing behind them. Closing my eyes was not the best choice. All I could see now was that cell and the monster who did this to me. His red eyes haunted me since the day I first saw him, haunting me especially now. I could still feel his hands around my throat, claws on my back and my hips. Peripheral to my immediate focus, I could still see the look on her face and fury in her eyes as she was beaten into submission  
  
The emotion in her eyes as she screamed and cried out, struggling to become free, was forever burned into my memory. I would die before I watched him make her self-destruct. And die I almost did. I paid for my defiance with the smallest ember remaining of the fire inside me.  
  
I moved to stretch my legs and the most horrible, sickening pain shot through my body, striking something in my soul. No doubt either my right leg or hip was broken. I wasn’t sure… I bit back the cry of pain threatening to escape my mouth. More pain radiated from the break near my hip, shooting across the entire lower half of my body. I brought my relatively unharmed right hand to rest on my stomach and winced once more. Broken ribs. At least three on my left side.  
  
I opened my eyes and raised my right hand in front of my face. A ragged bandage wrapped around my hand and up my forearm almost to my elbow. I could see a faint stain of blood coming through from my palm.

_“Where did you get that?” She asked me, a curious expression on her face._

_“I got it last night when I brought us dinner.”_

_“And what do you plan on doing with that?” She took a few steps toward me, no doubt suspicious of my intent from learned experience._

_“I’m going to get us out of here.” The words came out flat, a poor mask of confidence._

_“With_ that _?” I almost laughed at her reaction._

_I examined the makeshift blade, turning it over in my hands and running my fingertips lightly over the teeth. “It used to be a custom among my people that before a major battle—one where the odds of winning were astronomically low—we would take blood oaths with our brothers and sisters in arms.” I cut open my palm and held it out to her. My blood never felt warm for whatever reason._

_“You’re my friend. You’ve helped me in so many ways when it very well could have cost you your own life at times.” She looked at me, stunned, blinking her pretty ruby eyes. I took a breath and mustered up the last of my confidence. “I’m not leaving this place without you at my side.”_

_She eyed the blade and my bloodied handing and then rolled up her sleeve. She serrated the palm of her right hand in one swift cut. Startled, she dropped the knife. She finally grabbed my outreached hand and squeezed it tight. I looked into her eyes and felt this strange sense of pride. I know I was the wounded one but should it still not be my duty to protect? Protect her as much as I could, as she had tried to protect me. I spent my whole life becoming a warrior, a guardian. A barricade to the innocent and a shield to my comrades in arms._

_“We will get out of here. We are going to win. And then this will all be over and we’ll be better off for it.” If I wasn’t telling this to her in particular, I would never have believed my own words._

“Good morning, beautiful.”

I blinked and turned my aching head to see her sitting beside me.

Discomfort was taking over my soul; chaotic memories I wish did not exist flooded my psyche. Every movement sent shockwaves of pain throughout my body. I almost felt like I was not real; as if I was only a supporting role in my own memories. However, Kagura’s beauty, and the somber look on her pale and dirty face, distracted me enough to keep me here, in the relative safety of the present.

We were alive.

( _It almost hurts to breathe…_ )

How long had it been?

How long will it be?

( _Don’t take me home, don’t take me home, don’t take me home…_ )

Is the worst over now?

_Please tell me it’s over…_


	27. Chapter Twenty-six: The Fragile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: “The Fragile” by Nine Inch Nails]

_[Kagura’s point of view.]_

We couldn’t get away fast enough, in my opinion. We laid low in the waterfall cave for one night and then promptly began our journey at sunrise. Initially, I wanted to use my feather, but decided not to on the basis that I absolutely did not want to chance getting caught. As far as my paranoia was concerned, we were still very much in danger, despite Naraku’s castle and compound disintegrating and leaving no trace of the regal architecture or his foul scent behind. It looked as if nothing ever happened.

But I remember _everything._

I gritted my teeth and shook my head, trying to clear my own trauma from the forefront of my mind. I was usually good at locking all that shit away. Today, though, it was difficult.

Sango was fast asleep in my arms. Thus far, she spent the majority of our escape asleep, by choice. She wanted to be more effective on our adventure back to her friends, where ever they may be; and after a verbal altercation in the cave, she finally admitted her own defeat. It broke my heart to see her acknowledge the extent of her injuries and accept my assistance. She was stubborn. She was pissed.

It was so nice, however, to see the smallest spark of fire remaining in her eyes.

She would never believe me though…

I wouldn’t even let her _try_ to walk the first day. That only angered her further. So be it.

_I will not have her further compromise her health and well-being…_

So, we have drugs and salves. Potions and sleeping powders.

I just hoped in my heart of hearts that she wasn’t having such terrible nightmares…

_Who am I kidding?_

Sango’s _life_ is a nightmare.

_I guess mine is too…_

Created in the image of a beautiful and cunning woman who governs the wind, I was ‘born’ an adult. My apparent age was now that of nineteen or twenty years old… although, in reality, I have only been ‘alive’ for just under three years. Oh, but the things that I’ve seen in my short time…

Family, loyalty, honor… those things would be nice to truly uphold. I had been cursed with a distorted experience of those virtues. My ‘family’ consisted of my corrupted hanyou sire who only cared for himself and his own desires of power and false prestige; and an empty shell of a being deemed my younger sister. I once had a brother, that rogue specter of Naraku’s outcasted heart, Muso…

None of us truly knew loyalty. I feigned loyalty to Naraku out of my own cowardice and fear for my life. Kanna was blindly loyal to Naraku, of course. Muso thought for himself and I saw where that led him… and Naraku didn’t give a _damn_ about any of us. Even Kanna; one day, she would be deemed disposable, as well. We were all tools. A means to a bitter end.

Another reason I would not be caught dead flying us through the heavens on my feather right now.

If Naraku had a ‘most wanted’ list, surely my head is at the very top.

_I have my own heart…_

And it beat strongly and wildly in my chest.

The sky was darkening, a little early. A cold front was moving in.

I paused and looked up at the sky. Dark clouds were obstructing the blood-red sunset.

“Looks like rain soon…” I said aloud to myself. Sango stirred in my arms. I looked down at her.

_Better find some shelter soon…_

* * *

We were _fucking soaked._

And I was _pissed._

Sango was also awake and equally irate at this point.

I should have just stopped at the first cave we passed.

‘ _Go south, let the evil go north…’_

_Isn’t the damn demon slayer village around here somewhere? If I could at least get us there…_

“Kagura, where exactly are you trying to take us?” asked Sango. I could tell by her tone that she was annoyed but trying not to direct her bitter feelings at me.

“Your old village,” I answered. “I know we’re close; we’ve got to be. Plus, it would be a decent place to rest for the night.”

“We _are_ close,” said Sango. “I think we are near Midoriko’s cave, actually…” She paused. “Yes, just keep heading south. Follow the stream.”

“Ok…”

I followed her advice, and the stream, and before too long, we were at the dilapidated entrance to the demon slayer village. This place never fails to sadden me whenever I am here. Up until now, however, I always felt as if I were trespassing here. But this time, I had Sango’s blessing. It was humbling and bittersweet.

Sango directed me to the abandoned headman’s house—her old house. Or future, should she ever choose to return. One of the many things she confided in me, the night we built the ‘blanket fort’ back in my room at the castle. Sango was to inherit the house and the leadership of the town. Her father was decades ahead of his time: he apparently insisted that Sango take over as the leader of the demon slayers in lieu of Kohaku, due to both her age and experience as a warrior. Half of their kin was appalled because she was a woman, the other half applauded. And Sango soon won over the skeptics with her prowess in battle.

And now that would never happen… not really, anyway.

Unless she wanted to lead a village of ghosts, lost to the grievances of war.

War…

_War never changes._

I sighed as I tossed another log into the fireplace and poked at it to break it up.

Sango showed me around her old home, as much as she could at least, with her extremely limited mobility and my own assistance to her. It had likely indeed been quite the home before Naraku’s demons invaded. Even she and Kohaku each had their own bedrooms, in addition to their father’s master bedroom.

Sango commented that it looked like someone had been in here recently. She said the place looked cleaner and more organized than before. I could not tell if she was more troubled or astonished. I thought I could catch the faintest scent of Inuyasha and the others, but I could not say for certain. I kept my mouth shut, deciding not to give her false hope.

Although, I was almost positive Kohaku had been here. It would be so like him to tidy the place up. Most notably, a grand display of family armor—an heirloom now—stood in the Master bedroom, polished and dusted and complete.

There weren’t any supplies left, though. At least in this house. The blankets were left on the beds and eating and cooking utensils left in the kitchen, but that was it. The place was almost oddly stuck in time, caught in a freeze frame of how it was as it was left, when people lived here. It was comfortably haunting.

We had a small meal of bread, water, and tea. Comfortable silence fell over us for the longest time. I was just happy we were free and alive. It felt weird being in Sango’s childhood home, though. It was not hard to imagine younger versions of her and Kohaku running around here, either chasing or being chased by Kirara. I imagined those days were filled with blue skies and the smell of summer.

I asked for Sango’s permission to bring a bedroll out to the main living area, near the fire. I brought out some blankets, too. We then both undressed and I set our clothing near the fire to dry. Neither of us said a word as I changed Sango’s bandages and examined her wounds. Her healing still had a long way to go.

I had no idea how long it had been since our last night with Naraku… half a week, perhaps? Time was still funny to me, ever since that night… I quickly redirected my thoughts elsewhere, to the present.

Sango was in decent spirits, at least. She finally spoke up and began recounting stories from her childhood. I listened intently, wishing so badly that I was either there with her at the time or that I even just had my own childhood memories to share. I only had my short, ironic existence and no lovely nostalgic tales to tell. Instead, I could settle for living vicariously through Sango’s words.

Sango said in passing her father would almost approve of me, if I was not a demon. I did not know how to react to that comment.

I blamed it on the herbal tea, medicines, and sleeping poultice. Sango was high out of her mind at the moment. It was cute. This was the most talkative she had been in days, since before the initial assault on Naraku’s castle and our first failed escape attempt. It was refreshing to be able to converse with her and it was especially uplifting to see her smile.

“Kagura…” slurred Sango, turning her head to look at me. A drunken, half-lidded stare and a sideways smirk adorned her face.

“Hmm?” I took a swig of the contraband sake I had pilfered from the castle kitchen before we escaped. It was bitter and I much preferred wine; but I too longed for the illusory and whimsical relaxation that only alcohol and drugs could offer.

Sango giggled. “We’re free…”

“Indeed…”

“What will you do?”

“What do you mean, ‘what will I do?’ I’m staying with you and your friends, if you all will have me!”

Unexpectedly, I felt Sango’s free hand on my shoulder, and she pushed me back so that I was laying down. Sango carefully positioned herself on top of me, a sly look on her face.

“I wouldn’t have that any other way, actually,” she said.

“Sango…” I was unsure what I was supposed to do. If she was without her current injuries, I would take a wild guess that she was coming on to me. Perhaps she was, regardless. And under opposite circumstances, I would willingly take the bait and let her have her way with me. The darkened bruise on her hip and the traces of yellows and purples on her abdomen reminded me to keep myself in check.

Lust and potentially unrequited love was not worth injuring her further.

But I loved the way the flames danced in her dark brown eyes, giving her irises the illusion of amber highlights.

She was easily the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

I caressed her cheek and smiled as she leaned in to my touch. I gently brushed my thumb over a small bruise on her cheekbone.

“Still pretty,” I offered quietly.

“You’re pretty, too, Kagura,” her words were slurred and she grinned before leaving a soft kiss on my lips.

When Sango pulled away, she almost looked as if she wanted to say something more. Instead, she just laid on top of me, resting her head on my chest. I managed to pull one of the nearby blankets on top of us and I held onto her, determined to both keep her warm and keep the demons at bay.

I hated the way she involuntarily tensed when I first let my hands rest on her back. I hated that she was in pain, both physically, and mentally. Today seemed like a good day, however. I would take that at face value and count our blessings for it. But I knew what demons hid behind her eyes. I knew the mental hell she was slowly entering. We made it out of our shared purgatory and soon we would run out of distractions. I could almost feel that something was already a little off with her. I was afraid she was already slipping.

It didn’t take long before the medicines claimed Sango’s mind and she was soon unconscious on top of me. I only hoped that her dreams brought her some semblance of peace. _Peace._ That concept was so foreign to me… probably was to her, as well.

_I won’t let you fall apart…_


	28. Chapter Twenty-seven: Ms/Mr Self Destruct

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: “Mr. Self Destruct” by Nine Inch Nails]

_[Kohaku’s point of view.]_

I’d been with Inuyasha’s group for a week now. We made it back to Lady Kaede’s village two days ago and I was trying hard to make myself at home. I didn’t speak to them much the first few days I was with them, but on day four, I opened up, deciding that these were my sister’s friends, confidants, and battle partners. They deserved more than my brooding, self-righteous silence.

So I gave them my all.

Inuyasha, Miroku, Kagome, Shippo, and even Lady Kaede listened intently as I told them everything I knew, everything I remembered… it was horrible. I anxiously patted Kirara the whole time, taking comfort in the demon cat’s soft fur and grounding myself with the rhythm of her breathing and light purrs. Somehow, I think it was easier to confess without Sango here. She knew… she knew damn well all the things that I’ve done. And oh, she loved me in spite of it. How can she love me?

I expected everyone to be appalled. I mentally prepared myself for more violence, this time rightfully aimed at me in return for the atrocities I’ve committed. I expected more than concerned looks and the occasional gasp and commentary on how terrible the past two years of my life have been, from an outsider’s perspective. I spent two years as a ghost. I crept through the night like a thief, stealing lives for no reason of my own. I bathed in blood and unwillingly, unknowingly baptized myself in cruelty and ultraviolence.

It came as no surprise to me when Kagome said my jewel shard was tainted.

She spent about an hour each evening working to purify my shard. This evening was no different, except for the first time since we departed Naraku’s phantom castle, Kagome explicitly asked me about my sister. We were alone in Kaede’s hut, as she was tending to families in the village currently. Miroku and Inuyasha had gone off to spar. Shippo took Kirara and opted to go with them to watch.

I didn’t know how to answer Kagome’s question.

“I don’t know why she couldn’t come with us,” I answered, almost monotonous. It did strike me as odd, though… Kagura, I understand not being able to escape… _But still, she has her heart now…_

_And I have my mind back._

_Thanks to Sango._

_Perhaps she was kept behind as punishment? Please no…_

I’d already witnessed few too many instances of Naraku’s cruelty aimed at her. I’ll never forget the day Kagura allowed Sango and I to see each other back at the castle… and Sango defended Kagura when Naraku punished her for allowing us to meet. Naraku did not take kindly to Sango’s defense of the wind demon. I was taken away and locked in my room before I could know anything further, but I feel like I know my sister suffered greatly for her honorable actions.

_I am partially to blame…_

“Kagome,” I started after moments of silence and spending too much time in my head.

“Yes, Kohaku?”

“It’s my fault, isn’t it?”

“What?”

I pulled my knees to my chest and hung my head. “What if Sango couldn’t escape because of me?”

“What do you mean?”

I turned to face the young priestess. “She freed me.”

“Kohaku…” such emotion was present in Kagome’s eyes. It was almost enough to move my own cold gaze to tears.

“Sango is the reason I walk a free man… She is also the reason Kagura now has her heart. And she also restored Rouge’s soul.” _That cost Naraku three valuable foot soldiers… There’s no way he would just let that go._

“Kohaku,” said Kagome, “Sango’s first priority since she joined us was to make sure you were freed from Naraku’s clutches. That’s all she ever wanted, in addition to defeating Naraku and avenging your people.”

“And that is all I want, too!” I angrily slammed my fist on the ground beside me. I could no longer hold back the tears.

“We’ll get him, one day soon,” said Kagome. “We have to.” I wanted to believe her.

“Taking Naraku’s pitiful, disgusting, wasted life is the very least I can do,” I said through gritted teeth. “You don’t understand, Kagome… I _killed_ my father! And my comrades! And I gravely wounded my own sister! Because of him! Severing Naraku’s head and dismembering him until there is absolutely _nothing_ left of his foul existence is the only thing that may even possibly justify my existence!”

“Kohaku--!”

“ _I don’t deserve to live, otherwise!”_ I stood up and ran toward the woods, my vision blurred by tears. To my surprise, Kagome did not chase after me. I was oddly thankful. I wanted to be alone with my rage.

I was just a bullet in a gun. Another weapon of Naraku’s. A living blade. Weapons are not sentient and therefore do not feel remorse, guilt, or regret. Weapons are maintained and cherished until they have no more use. I spent two years as an unfeeling, silencing machine who reveled in bloodshed. I was the beginning of the end and the end of all things to come.

_Why am I here?_

I looked around the clearing I now found myself in. It was comforting, in a way. Fall was coming, I could feel it; yet tonight was still pleasantly warm. I could hear the crickets and smell the end of summer. The present managed to briefly take me back to better days; a deep memory of catching fireflies with Sango and Father appeared at the forefront of my mind. I closed my eyes and tried to hold onto that memory for as long as possible.

When I opened my eyes, I looked to the stars above. The sky was clear, like my goal in life.

“Father, Sango… I will avenge you both. I will avenge our village, our brothers and sisters…” I moved my clenched fist from my chest to the kusarigama at my side. I then stared into the darkness of the forest in front of me.

Dark was the path in front of me, both literally and metaphorically speaking. I wanted nothing more than to just run with reckless abandon into the depths. I longed to run away and hunt down Naraku by myself. My atonement demanded it. But then again… I was young and foolish, but not stupid.

I can’t do this on my own.

I sighed and turned around, beginning my lonely and pensive walk back to the village. Vengeance shall wait another day. As much as I desired to rip Naraku apart limb by limb by myself, it just was not realistic. Even if I was just a few years older, a few seasons stronger… I would only _possibly_ weaken him. It wouldn’t be enough to silence him forever.

_Weak…_

I was always the weak one.

I wanted to fight; I really did. I longed to be like my brave, bold older sibling. Sango was the epitome of a warrior. I still looked up to her with the only remaining purity left in my broken adolescent heart. Sango was always saving me, all my life. She saved me from monsters under my bed as a small child, she defended me from cruel children in our village who were brave enough to pick on me, the headman’s son ( _because I’m weak…_ ), and she quite literally saved me from a damned yet no less cursed life of servitude and violence.

It was time for me to save her for once.

I cannot kill Naraku on my own, but that was the very least I could do.

“Sister…” My thoughts aloud. “Where are you? Are you ok?” I looked to the stars once more as I made my way out of the forest and to the safety and warmth of the village and my new friends.

“Hang in there…”

* * *

_[Sango’s point of view.]_

_I’m a fake…_

I could feel her warmth beneath me and I could occasionally feel her newly beating heart through her clothing, my arms around her neck and hands constantly shifting from her shoulders near to her chest. For two days, with ample rest ( _because I’m weak.._ ), Kagura carried me on her back, like Inuyasha often carried Kagome.

It was still too risky to travel by feather. And I was still too weak to walk on my own. I hated myself for it.

Kagura and I spent a day at my old village to rest and recuperate. And I also took the time to visit the graves of Father and everyone else. The smallest ember of pride ignited in my broken heart when I was able to tell Father that Kohaku was free. I don’t know if he heard me; I don’t know if he really knew. I’d like to think so… _I hope so…_

The wind sorceress left me in peace by the gravesite and hung around just out of earshot to allow me some privacy with my fallen loved ones and my thoughts. I said my prayers and had the ‘conversation’ with Father, then beckoned my friend to come back to my side. We sat together in comfortable silence. I was glad she was there with me then. Part of me pondered silly ‘what-if’s’ and wished she could have met Father, maybe…

This afternoon, when we set off for the next leg of our journey, I tried to stand on my own. And failed. Kagura caught me and I cursed into her shoulder. I was no warrior. I was no longer even close. Former slayer of demons…

A demon did this to me. _Naraku_ did this to me.

I still could not even think of a deeper definition of what _this_ was referring to. The last remaining ounce of my pride would not allow it to bubble to the surface of my awareness. I only allowed myself anger. Anger at my current condition because of that fucking demon.

I’d rather claw my way out of my own grave any day of the week than continue living whatever the hell _this_ was.

The sun was setting now. We had been walking for hours… _Kagura_ had been walking, that is…

I’d kill to be able to walk.

By now, we were both certain that my right hip was at least fractured. I had three broken ribs, still. However, whatever yokai magic-infused medical salve Kagura was able to procure and create was doing wonders on that. Any sudden movement, such as a sharp twist or turn, could still send a white-hot lightning bolt of pain through my abdomen, but it was not as bad as it was even a few days ago. My left arm was still broken, as well—a clean break. I knew that the moment it happened, though. My boxer’s fracture in my right hand was healing, though, along with various cuts and scrapes. Slowly…

I’d take physical ailments any day.

Anything would be favorable in comparison to this sickening, mental hell I was finding myself falling into. We were no longer living in imminent danger day by day, so I clearly had nothing better to do than spend too much time in my head. My mind was a very dangerous place, currently. More than it had ever been.

Kagura tried to get me to talk every now and then. I could tell she was troubled by my silence and I knew she could feel my unease. My mood swung violently between numbness, anger, and darkening, deep depression sparked by guilt and admittedly, fear.

_I don’t want to be afraid anymore…_

_I don’t want to hurt anymore…_

“Hmm… how about here? Is this spot ok?” asked Kagura as we finally came to a halt.

We stopped near a small alcove-like rock formation right next to a hot spring. The place looked secluded enough. There appeared to be ample room for a fire and places to sleep. I wasn’t sure if I cared, although I knew Kagura would make damn sure I ate at least something for dinner. The growing cynical side of me was beginning to think the wind witch cared too much. _I am undeserving of her concern…_

“Yeah, it’s fine.” I just want to sleep and rest my broken bones. The week-old headache was at least gone now, though.

Kagura gently set me down so that I was sitting with my back against the rock wall. I slipped our travel bag off my good shoulder and watched Kagura get to work setting up our small campsite.

She was truly nothing like I always perceived her to be, before I was captured and we were still pitted against one another. Kagura was by no means an angel; she was neutral at best. But she was not entirely evil, either. She was a woman and a demon formerly guided by Naraku’s cruel orders, lest her life be threatened quite literally. That did not make her a bad person. Kagura had a beautiful soul and now her own heart to go with it. Kagura was kinder than she gave herself credit for. It was already interesting to see her discover and be guided by her own principles.

And it just hit me how the tables have turned, in a way. We were both angry when we first truly met, at the beginning of my captivity. I still felt like there was some good in me, then; I know there was a light, once. Kagura was the brooding, sarcastic dark back then. And now it was me. Evident in the way she would try to spark conversation during our travels, trying to cheer me up in her own, awkward way. Empathy was new to her and she wore it well already. I wasn’t sure how this somewhat new adornment of cynical misery suited me, though. And I was too tired to care.

“Hey, we still have some noodles and dried vegetables left from before we left the castle,” said Kagura. “I plan on cooking that after I bathe. I feel fucking disgusting.”

I nodded slowly and raised an eyebrow. I then closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the wall. Sleep sounded far more appetizing than food.

“…would you care to join me…?” She sounded much closer than she had been moments before. I opened my eyes and looked to see Kagura standing in front of me, gazing down at me, an unreadable positivity in her ruby eyes.

Hot water was also appealing to me at the moment. I also couldn’t remember the last time I bathed. I was probably disgusting as well at this point. I said nothing but gave my answer in the form of extending my good hand up toward Kagura. She then helped me to my feet. I winced in pain and held onto her as soon as I felt my weight on my right side.

I wanted to at least try to walk to the water’s edge. _Give me that much…_

Kagura motioned to pick me up once more but I protested. “Please… just, help me get over there. I need to try.”

Kagura sighed, no doubt annoyed with my stubbornness. “Ok, but if you hurt yourself, I’m carrying you again whether you like it or not.”

“Just let me lean on you.” I put my arm around her shoulders and I felt her carefully secure her arm around my waist. I did my best to grip her forearm, the action complicated by my sling. I leaned to the right, against Kagura’s side and lifted my left foot. _One step down…_ Then my right. Immediate pain was present at the mere action; I bit down hard and closed my eyes.

Kagura could tell I was in pain but I didn’t dare show her how much. This was a pride thing for me. I was overjoyed that she kept her mouth shut and did not try to stop me.

I felt a little better, having made it to the water’s edge with Kagura’s assistance. The simple act of being able to walk over there instead of being carried brightened my mood, if not by much. Overall, I felt a little less useless at the moment. The feeling amplified even slightly more by being able to undress myself.

The cool breeze sent shivers down my spine and for a moment, I was elsewhere.

_The cold of the cell in the dungeon…_

_The smell of blood, rust, and mold…_

_His claws on my back…_

“Sango?”

I opened my eyes and was met with Kagura’s concerned gaze.

“Are you ok?” she asked.

 _Absolutely not…_ “Yeah…” I looked past her, to the rock wall behind her. Inviting steam rose from the water around her.

“I don’t believe you.” Brutally honest as always. I could appreciate it normally, but in the current moment, I didn’t know…

I turned away from her, focusing on my folded clothing beside me and the surrounding grass. Kagura’s gentle hands covering mine grounded me once more, directing my attention back to her and back to now, lest I let my thoughts drift into dangerous territory. Her hands were warm, as was her gaze as we made eye contact.

“I’ll never make you talk, Sango,” said Kagura. “But please do, if you feel the need. I only want to be here for you.”

“Thank you.” I managed a weak half-smile, trying to bury the tears that randomly felt the urge to surface. I didn’t even know why I wanted to cry right now. My head was such a mess…

“Come here…” The wind sorceress approached me cautiously and with open arms. I reached for her and allowed the woman to carefully help me into the water and hold me against her.

I tensed the moment I felt her arms around me. There was no reason for it and I was ashamed, guilty, even. I closed my eyes and buried my face in her shoulder, taking in her scent and the feeling of her soft, flawless skin against my own.

“Did I hurt you?” she asked.

“No…” _I’m just… fucked up… damaged…_ I held onto her even tighter, pressing my body into hers.

I could feel Kagura’s heartbeat.

That was enough to completely bring me back here to focus on the present moment. I felt my face heat up and not because of the hot water surrounding us. _What the hell is wrong with me?_ I rested my chin on Kagura’s shoulder and relaxed against her, finally. While my mind was no longer wandering too far into the darker past, my head was still presently a mess.

The briefest idea of sex crossed my mind. Under different circumstances, I think I would have liked that idea very much, perhaps even acted on it. Even now, I could not deny what she did to me; I was very much aware of and focused on the feeling of her naked body against mine. I noticed her heartbeat was a little faster, as was mine. I unintentionally drug my nails down her back and she tensed ever so slightly and I heard the faintest exhale. _There is still something there…_

On top of everything that was wrong with me at the moment, I still had no idea what we were or what we were supposed to be. Kagura was a strange comfort and a surprising new ally and friend. _More than my friend…_ I tried not to think too hard about it.

I found it was actually easy to take steps in the water, with little assistance from Kagura. The hot water was doing wonders for my sore muscles and assorted ailments. We made it to the middle of the spring and by then, I realized, despite the carnal desires in the back of my mind, I did not necessarily want sex. I just wanted someone to hold on to. I just wanted reassurance. And comfort. And some sort of strange intimacy that came with all of these things and our bizarre relationship and shared trauma.

I don’t know what came over me—my thoughts versus my feelings—I almost felt intoxicated by the sensation of relaxation and undeserved comfort washing over me. Kagura shifted her hold on me, her nails gently grazing my back, sending a jolt of stifled desire through me that stopped just short of my rational thinking. I held onto the wind demon a little tighter and draped my left leg around her hip. This devious urge to bite her or at the very least kiss her neck, hit me out of nowhere. I opted for the latter choice and felt my heart flutter in my chest as I did so, knowing fully well that she was experiencing the same type of anxiety at least.

“Don’t let me go,” I breathed into her pointed ear.

“I won’t.”

Kagura held me close and carried me around the spring for a while, offering verbal reassurances and the kind of intimate contact and comfort that only she could for the time being. Nothing otherwise happened between us. Just a somber-tinted solace found in one another’s embrace and the hot water attempting to wash away our shared sins.

I let her wash my hair and bathe me and I returned the favor. Afterward, we relaxed against the rocks in contented silence. We then dressed and had dinner; Kagura had a drink or two of sake. I drank my typical sleeping poultice laced with medicinal herbs to aid both my physical and mental ailments.

We didn’t take anything with us from the slayer village, leaving us with no extra blankets or clothing. I was content with the warmth of the fire and leaning against Kagura, my back to her chest and her arms around me, as she sat against the rock wall. I admittedly felt a little guilty for probably being short with her lately—I was never intentionally trying to be rude. I know she understood, though. I also felt a tinge of a different and more ironic guilt, for potentially teasing her earlier in the spring. I was never intentionally trying to lead her on. And I think she understood that, too. Kagura of all people had been the kindest and most supportive. She took care of me and put up with my mood swings and lowkey self-destruction under no obligation whatsoever.

I was thankful.


	29. Chapter Twenty-eight: Hurricane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: “Hurricane” by I Prevail]

I finally focused on my injuries, refusing until the absolute last minute to acknowledge them and how I got them. Just more inner demons for me to constantly battle, a battle I could never win with a weapon or brute force. Demons that would continue to chase me for the rest of my life. They finally caught me. I was in no shape to physically run and there was nothing to distract me currently. Just me. Just me and my brutal truth.

This was the first time in over a week that I had been entirely alone. Sure, I’d wake up often at night and be unable to go back to sleep but Kagura was still there, even if she was asleep. She was currently at the campsite, only about thirty paces away, preparing our meal for the evening. She refused to let me out of her sight and I had to beg her for this opportunity. It wasn’t something I looked forward to but it was something that had to be done.

It had now been nearly a week since we left the barren remains of Naraku’s castle. We were getting close to Kaede’s village. I recognized some landmark. Anticipated arrival would be tomorrow or the next day. Alas, we stopped traveling tonight, as we were both tired.

I carefully lifted my left arm out of the sling. I held my arm out above my head in a gentle stretch. I then untied the obi of my kimono and shrugged the fabric off my shoulders, my broken arm giving me a little difficulty in completing the act. I kneeled next to the water’s edge and looked at my reflection.   
  
I wouldn’t have recognized myself. I could tell I had lost weight during my detainment, particularly in my face. I now had dark circles under my eyes and remnants of a purple and yellow bruise still graced the right side of my face, covering most of my temple and spilling onto my cheek. A cut was still healing above my left eye, a few smaller scratches underneath it. Faint bruises and cuts adorned my shoulders and chest, an especially dark and nasty bruise covered the left side of my collarbone. Still healing, though…

The thing that haunted me the most in my reflection was my eyes. They changed. I felt like the person I was looking at was the exact opposite of everything I had ever aspired to be. This was no warrior, no protector, no guardian… this person was weak, damaged, beaten, broken…

Just who the hell did I think I was? Memories of my life prior to my capture, prior to this whole ordeal with the Shikon Jewel and Naraku, seemed like imagination. I fell so deep into my thoughts and I could see myself in third person as I trained vigorously and killed my first demon, succeeded in my first solo battle, bowing before my father the day I had earned my status as a real demon slayer and not just a trainee, not just a child, not just a woman. I watched my own memories and felt so disconnected from who I once was.

My right hand formed a fist and I threw a punch at my reflection, the image disappearing in ripples that traveled across the small spring. I gently unwrapped the bandages from my arms. I held my hands in front of my face and looked at them. My left hand was fine but the arm was still very much broken, despite Kagura’s medicine and magic expediting the healing process. The fifth knuckle on my right hand was now bent at an unnatural angle from a somewhat recent fracture, in addition to various scrapes that were finally beginning to heal.

With difficulty stemming from my injured hip, I slid into the spring, tensing initially as I felt the hot water envelope my broken body. Luckily it wasn’t very deep at all. I could support myself with my good arm and the water provided enough resistance so that I didn’t have to worry about losing my footing, seeing as I still couldn’t walk on my own on land. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth at that realization.   
  
_I am useless._

Kagura had carried me for most of our journey so far. I was thankful but I hated it. I felt like a burden. Fortunately, we hadn’t run into anything too dangerous yet, whether it be demon or general wildlife. We still didn’t dare utilize her feather for fear of attracting some unwanted attention. Our escape was too easy in retrospect. Traveling on foot was rough but it was the best choice.

I exhaled and looked up into the sky. A sea of stars above me, surrounded by treetops. If I could really wish on a star, I would take it all back. I would go back in time and prevent this whole tragedy from happening. I would have slain the demon in disguise at the lord’s castle and prevented the slaughter of my people. I would have killed Naraku right then and there and shared the glory with my brothers and sisters in arms. I would have made my father proud and actually earned the right to my own name and my status. I would have made my mother smile down on me from the heavens and celebrated the victory of Kohaku’s first demon hunt with him and our remaining family.

That would never happen.

A breeze grounded me back to the present and I looked around, expecting Kagura. No one was there. Still just me and my demons. I brought my gaze down and noticed how clear the water was. I could see the rocks at my feet, see how blue the water appeared to be, the illusory color born of both the gray of the waterbed and the blue sky above. I could also see the damage on my body, bruises and cuts that I did not want to acknowledge. I crossed my arms over my chest and let my hands rest on my shoulders. I allowed my hands to travel slightly lower to my breasts and shivered at my own touch. I sat with the feeling for a moment, allowing myself to process the trauma there.

My fingertips brushed further down my abdomen, grazing my fractured ribs that hadn’t quite healed yet before resting on my hips. I cringed at the pain swelling on my right hip and thigh, the bruise no doubt indicating another fracture or break. I rested my hands on my thighs and took a deep breath, holding back tears. I slipped my hand between my legs and held myself for a moment, completely repulsed by my own touch. I finally let the tears fall.  
  
 _I was raped.  
_  
It hit me like a hurricane. The truth I did not want to speak. Not once until now had I even let that sentence form coherently in my mind. Even though this last time certainly wasn’t the first time he had used me. I had absolutely _refused_ to voice those words or even think them. I fought that truth like I fought him every time. I had finally lost. The confession hit me like a tidal wave, pulling me under, into the depths of one of my worst fears and the only one I had previously not lived through.   
  
I had grown up around men who were honorable, who were warriors, who were family. All the same, my father had still warned me that some men were to be treated with caution and one of the reasons I was raised to become such a skilled fighter was so I could defend myself against any potentially predatory males. I knew of girls and women from my village who had been raped by bandits, raiders, and other unsavory characters. They were never the same. It had happened to my childhood best friend’s older sister. She went from being one of the most capable and intimidating members of our clan to a neurotic mess who was almost afraid of her shadow. Unfortunately, the trauma had ultimately cost her life, as she had ended it. Jou never got to avenge her and he died a bitter person in the same fight that had claimed my father’s life.

I stood in the water and cried, wrapping my arms protectively around myself, somewhat mindful of my injuries. I could deal with my previous demons. The real ones and the ones from my past. The memories of my family and friends being murdered by my innocent little brother could easily be converted into fuel for my rage, the terrible thirst for vengeance that kept me running most days. That bitterness tainting my soul had a purpose. This new demon of mine, born of my displaced innocence, was a problem I could not find a solution for. Its existence did nothing for me but provide a constant reminder that I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t strong enough. Fast enough.

Naraku’s words during my latest ordeal replayed over and over in my head, as cold as he said it before I lost consciousness for days: _“You’re nothing now. You have nothing left to offer. You’re as dead inside as your puppet brother and your father’s rotting bones. You couldn’t save them and you can’t even save yourself. You’re weak. And you’re afraid of me. But that’s ok because the weak are supposed to fear the stronger ones who dominate them, have power over them. Sango, keep in mind that every time you see those scars all over your body, you will always be reminded of me. Reminded that you failed. You’re nothing more than a weak human girl and a poorly trained demon slayer. You have no honor left.”_

I sobbed loudly and then held my breath as I submerged myself under the water. I stayed under for what felt like forever and mere seconds, until I could no longer hold my breath. I surfaced, gasping for air and made my way clumsily over to the water’s edge where I had left our soap. Crying, I began cleaning myself, attempting to scrub away the kind of filth that would never truly leave me.   
  
I hadn’t realized I had rubbed some of my skin raw on my thighs and lower stomach until I left the spring and began drying myself off. _Just… fucking--- fuck it._ I caught a glimpse of my reflection as I sat by the spring. My image seemed to be mocking me. I caught sight of a rock within reaching distance and threw it angrily into the water, shattering my taunting reflection, this image of what could be me. I held my towel against my body and leaned forward, gritting my teeth and closing my eyes tightly.

_I was raped._

That goddamn sentence wouldn’t leave my train of thought. I had acknowledged the demon’s presence and I knew from then on, it would haunt me equally or more than the collective grief I carried around every day from all my dead relatives and friends. I had been fighting off this growing discomfort that had come into existence my third night in captivity. This rift growing in my soul, splitting me into fragments of my former self. I had gone from the last of my kind—a long line of respected warriors—hellbent on revenge, to a prisoner of war, stripped of everything from my rank to my honor. I no longer deserved to carry the title of ‘taijiya’, ‘demon slayer’, ‘warrior’ even.

What could I have been? If not for Naraku and the curse of the Shikon Jewel, by now I would have been well on my way to taking over as the head of our village, despite being female. I would have likely been married, or at least betrothed, to an equally capable warrior. Jou came to mind, my best friend growing up. Maybe there was something there. I chose not to remember. Then I thought of Miroku…  
  
Would he even want me anymore? Not likely… I was tainted now, used. While Miroku had a reputation for being a lecherous person, he had no foul intentions with anything he ever did or said. And he was still a man of faith. I simply did not deserve him at this point. And even if he would have me, I was unsure if I could ever have him. I couldn’t bear my own touch; I couldn’t handle being stuck in my own skin. I’ll never be the same…  
  
And then what of Kagura? What kind of mess had we gotten into together? I was so confused… On top of all the damage I’d taken physically, my feelings for the wind sorceress went unaddressed for the most part, and also pulled my broken heart in different directions. We shared trauma. She was born into servitude and abuse; I was forced into it. ( _Because I wasn’t strong enough…_ ). She healed my wounds and tended to my injuries when I was left for dead by our captor. She went out of her way to help me and while initially she had an ulterior motive of escaping Naraku’s clutches once and for all, my strength and capability in battle was what had piqued her interest in helping me at all; she knew I could deal with and deal out real damage and destruction.   
  
I couldn’t stand her at first, from the first time I had battled against her with that damn golem Naraku while she played dolls with the dead wolf demon tribesmen. I wanted to knock her out of the sky every time I saw her fly away with Kohaku on that feather. I never knew what she thought of me, of my friends. I never cared. I had no idea she held an unspoken respect for us, born of our mutual desire to destroy Naraku. She wanted her freedom, and really, so did we. Freedom from the curse of the jewel.   
  
After I had become Naraku’s prisoner, we had bonded over our shared desire for freedom, on a deeper level. I empathized with her, especially after she disclosed that before my abduction, she was often the object of Naraku’s twisted desires and the focal point of his misplaced aggression.   
  
She had never known kindness. She had never known friendship. No one ever really cared for her. No one ever really loved her. She still had not admitted it, but I know she put up the hardened exterior as an act to cover up the pain of being alone and unwanted. She longed for companionship. It wasn’t hard to figure out when she began spending her time with me even without orders from Naraku.

What did I feel for her? What were we? I know we were friends at this point. More than friends… I thought of all the stolen glances and secret smiles, the blushes from accidental touches. I remembered the first time she kissed me under the most beautiful sunset I’d ever seen. I could feel my heartrate speed up as I remembered having sex with her the night after. I had never been with anyone before, short of Naraku forcing himself on me. I didn’t want to count that and I would still reject the very idea of it. I had given myself to Kagura, willingly. And she gave herself to me, also having had no real experience. Sex had been used as a punishment to her until that very moment.  
  
I didn’t even know such a thing was possible between two people of the same sex until then. I had never even entertained the idea of being attracted romantically and sexually to another female, although I’d be the first to admit that I was never exactly ‘boy crazy’ growing up, either. I recognized I had a small crush on Jou growing up, I knew I had fallen for Miroku to some degree during our travels. What I now felt for Kagura was comparable. But why, though? _Why me? And why her?  
  
_ I was broken out of my reverie by the sound of a twig breaking nearby. I turned my head to identify the location of the noise to see Kagura.   
  
“Sorry,” she apologized. “I hope I didn’t intrude… sorry if I startled you.” She looked away, the smallest pink hue appearing on her pale face.  
  
I wiped my eyes on the towel I was still holding. “It’s ok.”   
  
“I- I was just starting to get… worried…” Kagura looked back to me, a mixture of emotions evident in her beautiful, red eyes. “I just… you’ve been extremely quiet… since our escape… I know you’re not ok… how could you be?” I sat uncomfortably by the spring; I could no longer meet her gaze. “You’re changed. Your scent has changed, your chemistry is different… Your actions lack vigor… I know you’re injured still, but—” She turned away from me and hung her head.   
  
“I don’t want to be overbearing—I don’t. I want to give you any space you may need. But I got worried.” She took a deep breath before she turned and continued. “It had been a while since you had left camp, the sun was still going down, a-and it got dark—” I could tell she was trying hard to fight off tears. “I know where your mind is. I know the damage in your heart. I—” her voice broke.

“ _I thought I lost you.”_ She fell to her knees, holding her face in her hands, sobbing.  
  
I crawled over to her, ignoring the sharp pains in my right side and left arm. “Kagura…”  
  
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” she cried, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. “What is this feeling? Concern? No, it’s deeper than that…” She stole a glance at me and upon making eye contact, she quickly averted her gaze to the stars overhead. “You’ve shown me kindness. I had no idea… You made me want to fight alongside you, not against you.” She looked back to me; I could tell she was calculating her every action, choosing her words carefully.  
  
“You’re so strong… you have such conviction. You fight for the ones you care about and you fight for their honor as if it is your own. Even now…”   
  
“Kagura,” I said softly, “I’m not strong.” The waves of self-loathing and surrender began to wash over me once more.  
  
“You’re wrong!” She yelled and shot me a glare that reminded me of the way Inuyasha would look at Kagome when she expressed any bit of self-doubt.  
  
It was my turn to look away. “I’m broken, Kagura.” I could feel the anger emanating off her, although I do not believe it was intentionally directed at me. “I’m broken, and I cannot be fixed.”  
  
“No, that’s not true!” Kagura yelled at me. If looks could kill… “No, you may be broken _right now_ but you won’t stay that way! You’re strong! You’ll come back!”

I wish I could believe her. I wasn’t so sure… All of this sinking in and settling, this heavy, horrible realization of what I had been through and accepting it… all the time I spent proving to myself that I was a capable fighter, worthy of my name and rank, worthy to travel with people such as Inuyasha, Kagome, and Miroku… I spent my entire life proving myself and all that was for null. I felt truly worthless now.  
  
“No! I _will not_ allow you to speak of yourself in such a way!” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her claw at the ground. A few tears fell from her face and peppered the dirt.

“ _Why?”_ Part of my inner conflict was reaching a boiling point. Who the hell even was I anymore? I had even fulfilled my purpose of freeing my brother, that was good enough for me. This inner storm was brewing, clouding my heart and my mind.

Kagura glared daggers at me. “Don’t speak of yourself that way, and for the love of everything please don’t even _think_ of hurting yourself! I know _YOU_ don’t give a fuck anymore but there are others who do! What if you never make it back to your friends, to your _brother_? They’d be devastated, they’d blame themselves!”

_She thought I had wandered off to harm myself._

“Kagura—”

“I cannot _stand_ the thought of losing you!”

“Listen—”

“I love you, Sango! Goddammit!”

You could have knocked me out with a feather. Her actions hit me like another hurricane of emotion, the emotion in her voice struck something inside of me that pulled me out of my current state of self-hatred and pulled me out of the waves that were crushing me, drowning me. The clouds parted only to give way to a different type of storm.


	30. Chapter Twenty-nine: Star: In the Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: “Star” by Hellyeah; “In the Darkness” by Dead by Sunrise]

“ _I love you! There—I admit it!”_

The wind sorceress stood before me, shaking and volatile; she was an obvious mess for the time being, same as me, but for an entirely different reason. Kagura ran a hand through her long, dark hair, shook her head, and then stood with her back to me, both hands on her hips. She moved again so that now she crossed her arms over her chest. The demon woman turned halfway and looked at me, tears streaking her beautiful face.

“Do you think any less of me, yet?” Anger hid within the question.

I had an answer for that—a resounding ‘no’—but I did not have the words to voice it. A disconnect existed between my brain and my mouth.

_She loves me?_

I had to think about that for a bit… but I did not have time. It made sense, though. Her fierce protective attitude toward me, her empathy, her company overall… the way she looked at me, the way she held me… touched me…

I, myself, was now getting flustered. I looked away from her, still on the ground by the spring. _How can she love me?_ Not even _Miroku_ loves me… ( _how could he?)._ Did I love him? I thought maybe I could, one day, in another place and time… Jou loved me. Did I love him? No… not like that…

_Love is fucking complicated._

“Did I fuck things up between us?” asked Kagura. She cleared her throat and wiped her eyes, glancing at me briefly before staring back up at the stars. If I was not mistaken, her eyes seemed fixated on Polaris.

I slowly shook my head. I was still stuck in a hurricane of my own emotions and stinging acknowledgement of my abuse. Kagura’s exposing words certainly pulled me out of those depths, but I still was not completely surfaced. My heart was still hurting. And it was nothing Kagura did…

_But she was always there._

“It was always you…” It hit me.

Kagura never willingly left my side. And if she did, she came back.

I fulfilled my promise to myself, to my brother, that I would free him from Naraku. I was content with just that. I could have died back at the castle… _should_ have died, _wanted_ to die…

Kagura did not allow that to happen.

She could have fled on her own and left me for dead. She probably should have. She deserved to.

But she didn’t.

But was it really love?

Or was it opportunity? Loneliness? Infatuation? Lust, even?

The more I let it all sit with me, the more part of me wanted it to really be love and not just a side effect of our shared plight and dangerous existences.

I thought of the night with Miroku after the celebration… I needed time, then. _His kiss…_

What of him? What of he and I? Was there even really a chance?

Would there be, now? If not now, when? Would he _really_ wait for me?

_(I wouldn’t wait for me…)_

My heartrate was increasing. I could feel the tension between Kagura and I, enveloping us and the area around us. However, she did not seem to be waiting on an answer for me. She hid the anticipation well. Like she hid many things.

I think I could still love Miroku, perhaps… but would he love me, still…?

I think I could love Kagura, too… my current heartbeat and the subtle breeze wafting her scent toward me solidified that notion.

_Goddammit…_

For one, Kagura already _knew._ She knew too much about me. Trauma aside, just in the small amount of time I had known her as a person and as a friend, I realized I had confided in her many memories, thoughts, and feelings that I had never shared with anyone else. I was honestly shocked at my own realization. Plus, I was still terrified to tell my friends what really transpired while I was held captive…

_Would they think any less of me?_

I really did not think so, but I could no longer be so certain… I couldn’t trust myself. And everything was so confusing now…

But if I had to _really_ think critically on the matter at hand, _right now,_ in the present…

I think I could love her someday. I think I already did, at least a little. I loved the way she made my broken heart feel something other than pain and shame.

_What have I got to lose?_

_What am I even afraid of anymore?_

Kagura finally broke the silence. I don’t know how long I spent in my head. Her cool words and the slightly colder breeze caught my scattered attention.

_Kagura doesn’t think any less of me…_

“Sango,” sighed Kagura, “I understand if you don’t feel the same way—I was stupid for even saying anything…”

I felt _something… Where are my words?_

She wore a mask of neutrality, no doubt attempting to hide the perceived rejection. Her eyes betrayed her. _Her beautiful eyes…_ I couldn’t find the words to shatter that mask, that uncaring, stone, cold…

_I’d kill to move your face an inch…_

“Kagura!” I finally got my shit together enough to find my voice. “I-I think…” _Words…_ “I think I feel the same way…” Her hardened expression fell and warmth clouded her ruby red irises. “Kagura… I will not lie to you—I am still _very_ confused. By a lot of things… But I think—I think I could love you. I think I _do_ love you…”

She turned gradually, adopting a more open stance. “You… do?” The wind demon raised an eyebrow. “You really do?” Her voice was hushed and soft, lacking her usual projections of confidence and dominance. A strange, yet welcome difference. The ice was melting.

I nodded slowly. “I… I think so…” The atmosphere around us thinned a little. Kagura approached and kneeled in front of me. She gently took my hands in hers, mindful as always of my injuries. We made eye contact. I would try honesty and transparency for all it was worth. “Kagura, I _do_ love you. It’s a new feeling… and it’s a little strange… but it is there.” I sighed. “I also do still have feelings for Miroku, too… but you’re _here._ ”

Kagura looked away but kept holding my hands. “What will you do?”

“Well…” I did not want to hurt her. Especially since I did feel the same way. “I need time. My head is a mess, Kagura. It’s nothing you’ve done, just so you are aware. But that does not change the way I feel about you. I just know it will be a long time before I’m ready to commit to any kind of relationship, with anyone.”

Kagura’s silence was a little unnerving to me. I could tell she was processing my confession. “Fair enough,” she finally said. “I will still take this as a win.”

“You should.” I managed a weak but genuine smile. _She loves me._ The silly fact sparked warmth in my somewhat cold soul. I could breathe a little easier knowing that. “I love you, Kagura.” Acknowledging my new feelings out loud only reinforced them.

And I think that was the first time I ever saw her smile like that.

“I love you, too, Sango.”

* * *

_[Kagura’s point of view.]_

_I couldn’t believe my luck._

_She loves me…_

I walked with a new vigor in my steps and a flutter in my chest as I carried Sango through the forest. We would reach our destination by tomorrow. I would take us as far as I could tonight, but I was growing weary already. I was a little nervous to officially join up with Sango and her friends, especially given the very recent development between us. I did not desire to upset any kind of balance already established.

Either way… I knew she loved me back.

I knew she needed time. I honestly saw that coming. I would give her all the time in the world, if that’s what she requested of me. I would do anything to aid in her recovery… Sango had done so much for me. The least I could offer her is my love, support, and above all, respect. She had seen so little of those things as of late, especially respect… that is something she has fought for all her life. As a woman, as a warrior, as a person.

Kind of like me. In a way.

I demanded respect. In battle, from my enemies… I tried to demand it from Naraku, where it mattered most. Something I could never have… I would forever remain a means to an end to him. I was disposable. He created me from his own flesh to do his bidding and yet I was not worth respecting. I learned to respect myself, at least most days. Despite all that has happened to me and all the bad I have seen and done.

Sango respects me.

Hell, the woman _loves_ me.

I smiled at the thought. Then decided on a small clearing among some thick trees as our campsite tonight.

* * *

I cooked the last of our rations from the castle for dinner. It wasn’t much, but it would do. Sango was confident we would reach Lady Kaede’s village tomorrow. The only thing we had left now was the nearly full bottle of luxury sake I had stolen from the castle. I wanted to put it to good use; my own selfish celebration of our admitted, yet awkward and complicated love seemed to suffice.

Until Sango spoke up, that is.

The demon slayer leaned against my shoulder and watched our campfire with a tired smile on her face. She had her arm looped around mine and was holding my hand. I was hyper aware of her presence and cherished every second of it. I watched her; she seemed so deep in thought and thusly was quiet for a long time.

“How long do you think it’s been?” she asked.

“How long…?” I was confused.

“Since I’ve been with you… since I was captured… until now…”

“Hmm…” It felt like forever, really. But it all went by so quickly… it felt like yesterday we were bitter enemies. And by last night, we had somehow fallen in some kind of love with each other. “I think it has been about a month and a half.”

“Huh…” Sango snuggled up against my side and I instinctively put my arm around her shoulders. She turned her head to look at me. The reflection of the fire danced so nicely in her copper hues. “I think it’s my birthday,” she laughed. “Or around it, at least… I’ve lost track of time.”

“Oh?”

“I’m eighteen now, I suppose.” She laughed again and leaned her head against my shoulder.

“Well… we should celebrate!” I turned away from Sango and reached into our travel bag beside me. I pulled out the sake and presented it to her.

“You want to drink?” she asked. I hope I didn’t offend somehow.

“Only if you do,” I confessed. “We are free of Naraku, _Kohaku_ is free of Naraku, I have my heart—thanks to you, my dear—” Sango smiled at my words, like she didn’t care, but the blush on her cheeks told me otherwise. “Our journey is almost over, _and_ it’s your birthday.” I opened the bottle and offered it to the girl beside me.

Sango took the bottle and examined it. “Honestly,” she turned to me, “I did not think I would make it to eighteen… for many reasons, and at many times.”

“But you did. And you’re here.” And I was so glad she was… I leaned toward her and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. When I pulled back, I felt a warmth in my chest, as I saw the genuine smile on her face; she smiled because of me in this moment, because of my words, because of my kindness.

Half that bottle later, and it was increasingly hard to keep my hands off of her. She mirrored my actions, however, and gave me her firm, trusted, and honest consent before either of us were too intoxicated. I was incredibly mindful of her still healing wounds; I made it clear that I only wanted her pleasure and not her pain. I was pleasantly surprised when Sango fearlessly took control; I was more than happy that she allowed me, _begged_ me to reciprocate.

We had our drunken, serendipitous dance by the fire and I enjoyed every minute of it. I loved everything Sango did to me and I was grateful that she trusted me enough and was still comfortable enough with me for such things to take place. Her presence alone, combined with her touch, was far more intoxicating than the alcohol. The way Sango cried out my name as I tasted the sweetness of my victory along with the aftertaste of sake, only verified her own enjoyment and did little to hold my ego in check.

* * *

_[Sango’s point of view.]_

I wanted her even before the alcohol fully hit me. My emotions were still a mess and my nerve endings were still shot, but I was fully at peace with admitting I craved this strange intimacy we established at the waterfall weeks ago. Reason enough to celebrate; she wasn’t wrong. We were free. We were _all_ free. Naraku was still alive, yes, but so was I.

_I am alive._

_And Kagura’s heart is beating wildly against my chest._

The wind demon was so careful with me. As she always was. It was all my idea, this time. Kagura merely provided the catalyst in the form of alcohol.

Ironically, I think I was sobering up by the time the bottle was three fourths empty. The things Kagura did to me brought my full attention on myself, on her, on us. I lost control of myself easily the moment my name escaped her. I wanted her to feel what she made me feel. I _needed_ that empathic validation that only our star-crossed union could offer.

This was therapeutic for me. I didn’t expect I would or _could_ want such a thing so soon already… I thought wrong. Kagura’s attention grounded me to the present and reminded me I was still a whole person. My heart still mattered to her. My soul still mattered to her. Although I swear I had been damned to hell this entire time.

All that she wanted from me was all I had left to give: my broken heart and damaged trust. I did not need her to fix me. I did not even _want_ her to fix me. I just wanted her, all of her—mind, body, and soul—and for her to remind me I was still breathing and that every breath and every heartbeat of mine was worth it, still. At least to someone.

I would never be the same again.

I fought ever fiber of my being at restraining my body’s learned response to her initial caresses. Kagura always stopped and questioned. I knew she would stop altogether if I only asked, but that was not what I wanted for now. But knowing that was enough… Kagura made me feel comfortable in my scarred and bruised skin. Even now in the height of hormones and heat and potentially bad decisions, she somehow brought peace to the chaos within my mind.

I could almost feel our souls becoming one for a moment or two. Or maybe it was just me, or the intoxication, or the night. I felt like our blind passion was somehow slowly rewiring my frayed nerve endings. I was learning to live all over again. A part of me just needed Kagura to show me what that was like.

I don’t know how often the subtle breeze sent chills down my spine, or if it was Kagura the whole time. I don’t know how long it was in between every shockwave she sent through my body. The fire died out long before we gave in to exhaustion and intoxication. In the darkness, I slowly began to think that just maybe I could feel like myself again. And then thought not—I would never be the same. It was true.

I don’t know how many times I told her I loved her; or how many times she said the same to me. I hope she knew that I meant it. I knew I meant it when I felt my heart beat so violently every time I touched her. When she said it, I could feel the truth in her words, evident in her every action and culminating in the care she took with me and the way she held me in the middle of the night, as my body shook with pleasure and my mind found an unexpected peace. I actually cried into her shoulder, knowing that I was able to reclaim my being, reclaim a small part of myself, and ignite a small ember of the fire I used to possess.

Maybe I needed some kind of rebirth. Maybe this was just a chance good day somehow blessed with more ups than downs. Maybe I would be ok. Maybe I wouldn’t. I only knew that I was still alive; still here and breathing, and fighting. I was still able to love and find comfort. I loved Kagura. I knew that now to be true. Kagura loved me, too. I just wished maybe I could love myself, as well.


	31. Chapter Thirty: Blue and Yellow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: “Blue and Yellow” by The Used.]

_[Kagura's point of view.]_

We were actually in Kaede's village now. It was mid-morning with cloudless blue skies overhead. The smell of summer's deathbed and newly wilting leaves surrounded me, along with the intoxicating floral scent of the woman limping beside me, leaning against me for support. Some people stared.

_Let them look…_

Sango insisted on walking at least through the village. I could tell she was still in pain; she still depended somewhat on my assistance and held onto my arm. Her strength was still very apparent, at least in her grip, at least in my opinion.

"How big is this place?" I asked. I had flown over the village many times and it always seemed so small from above…

"We're almost there," said Sango, through gritted teeth. "Kaede's hut is at the edge of the village, where it is more peaceful."

 _Good…_ I didn't like the looks we were receiving from some of the villagers.

Soon enough, we reached our destination. I could see the priestess's hut down a small hill. I could also smell her scent, along with that of Kikyo's reincarnation, Kagome, and the fox demon. No sign of Inuyasha or the monk, however.

"There it is!" exclaimed Sango. We quickened our pace. I was exhausted; so was she. No doubt she was expending the last amounts of her energy here. Fine by me; she needs the rest that will ensue upon the inevitable adrenaline crash.

"Kaede! Kagome!" Sango called out as we neared the dwelling.

The two priestesses soon appeared in the doorway. The look upon Kagome's face quickly changed from one of curiosity to unbridled happiness tinted with concern as she noticed us.

"Sango! Kagura!" The younger priestess darted out of the doorway and ran over to us. Sango was able to let go of me once Kagome was near enough to return the younger girl's embrace.

"Sango!" Kagome held the taijiya closely, resting her chin on her shoulder. She began to cry, likely happy tears. "I'm so glad you've returned! We were all so worried! I was starting to think I'd never see you again…"

I watched their reunion, smiling smugly and somewhat awkwardly. Kagome began to fuss over Sango once she noticed the extent of her wounds. Sango, of course, tried to belay her concerns and downplay the severity of her injuries. Kaede then came out. I could hear the two priestesses urging to get the demon slayer inside so they could tend to her injuries and possibly attempt to discuss everything with her.

After Sango was safe inside and several minutes had passed, Kaede came back outside and approached me.

"Kagura…"

"Yes?" Was I about to be chased away? Did they deem me a threat? A nervous ache made its presence known in my stomach and I could feel a cold spot spread to my heart.

"Ye escaped with her," stated the old priestess.

"Of course. Why else would I be here?" I could not hide my sarcasm. I was trying to keep my skepticism and sarcasm in check. I had to remind myself the old woman had every reason to be just as skeptical of me.

"I almost didn't believe them when they all initially came back with the boy, Kohaku…" Kaede walked a circle around me, stopping in front of me. "Have ye really experienced a change of heart?"

I nodded, actually stopping and thinking first before blurting out the first offended words that crossed my mind. "Yes… I have my heart now… thanks to Sango…" I couldn't help but add the last utterance, happy and proud.

"Aye…" Kaede was silent for a moment. "She doesn't look good…"

"I know," I agreed quietly. "I tried to help her."

"I'm sure ye did your best, child."

"I hope so."

Silence fell upon us once more. I wished for nothing more than Sango's quick recovery, both physically and mentally.

"She was gone for a long time, Kagura," continued Kaede, as she turned and motioned me to follow her back to the hut. I bowed slightly and complied. "Now is not the time, no…" The old priestess stopped and turned to face me again. "You know, they wonder—and so do I, honestly—what exactly happened to her? And ye as well?"

I almost wanted to die after being asked such a loaded question.

A month ago, I would have laughed and told her to fuck off and that it was none of her damn business! Now, I… I don't know… It is still not my place to say. Not exactly. Yes, I had my own experience and shared experiences and traumas intertwined with Sango's, but… I would not reveal her personal tragedies and plight.

We entered the hut and were greeted with the sight of Kagome making small talk with Sango, trying to contain herself from bursting with concern once more. Sango sat against the wall, on a rather comfortable looking bedroll, ( _Damn, am I tired…)_ a cup of fresh hot tea clasped in her hands. Sango looked up, noticing our entrance. Our eyes locked and she flashed me a tired smile. I returned the gesture, overjoyed to see her safe and sound and back with her friends.

"Kagura!" exclaimed Kagome. She hurriedly stood up and offered me a teacup of my own. "I went ahead and prepared you some, too! It's a medicinal tea that Kaede taught me how to make. I feel like you could also use some."

I was in awe of the girl's kindness. She didn't even _know_ me… "Th-thank you, Kagome," I said quietly. I bowed my head in thanks ever so slightly as I graciously took the cup from her. Kagome resumed her seat next to Sango and patted the floor beside her, gesturing for me to join them. I did just that, an unfamiliar rush of emotions—and exhaustion—beginning to flood my head.

"We were really beginning to worry," said Kagome. "We stopped at the demon slayer's village after we left the castle to rest and regroup with Kohaku. And we searched the surrounding area for at least half a week, within five kilometers or more in each direction…" She sighed and looked down at her own teacup, clasped loosely in her hands. "Eventually, we ran out of supplies and had to return here. Then we took turns going out in search parties of two. That's actually where Inuyasha and Miroku are now."

"They should be back soon, though," added Kaede. "Shippo recently went to meet them at the edge of the village. I'm surprised the two of ye didn't run into him first."

We spent the next twenty to thirty minutes catching up. I could not help but notice how everyone avoided the topic of and anything related to Naraku, his castle, and Sango's capture, like the plague. Sango herself seemed to be more interested in how Kaede and Kagome have been doing and what she's missed. I didn't blame her and I knew fully well that her altruistic nature in her own questioning was far outweighing her desire to avoid the inevitable questions directed at her.

Before too long, I could hear voices and footsteps approaching. With those, the scents of Inuyasha, Miroku, and Shippo grew stronger. _Where are Kohaku and the cat demon, I wonder?_

"—find them soon, Shippo; it's only a matter of time." The monk's voice was so close.

"I know, but I'm worried, Miroku!"

"Can it, runt! We'll find them sooner or later! It'll take a lot more than Naraku to get rid of Sango!"

The trio soon appeared at the doorway.

"Inuyasha, don't be so mean to him! He's just worried about… _Sango?_ " Miroku stood in the doorway, a stunned expression on his face, a pool of emotions exploding in his dark blue eyes.

"What's wrong—" Inuyasha paused as well, appearing at his side. Shippo soon joined them, at their feet. The young fox had no words, it seemed.

" _Miroku…_ "

The monk rushed to her side and she reached for him. He gently picked her up, holding her close. The rest of the group soon joined them in a long past-due embrace.

I saw myself out, bittersweetness in my veins.

I would wait outside and give the group their privacy. I was still an outsider. Still too recently defected from our shared enemy. I was strangely content with this.

* * *

_[Kohaku's point of view.]_

"Kirara…" I walked back through the field of sunflowers, my feline companion trailing closely at my heels. I stopped and turned to look down at her, in her small form.

Kirara sat and mewed up at me. I crouched down in front of her, carefully holding the bouquet I had crafted in one hand so I could pet the neko with the other. The cat demon approached me and I soon gently set the flowers down beside me and sat back. Kirara curled up in my lap. I patted her head and looked up at the sky. The sun would set soon.

We had to find her soon. We just _had_ to! My sister had been gone for far too long… No one said it aloud, but I know we were all beginning to fear the worst. I was worried for Kagura, too. I really hoped they were both ok. _They have to be…_

I recently found a sunflower field near Kaede's village. It reminded me of a field of lilies near my old village. I picked Sango a bouquet of them once a long time ago… the most beautiful and wonderful flowers for a most beautiful and wonderful sister. The memory was now bittersweet to me. It came to me out of nowhere my first visit to the sunflower field and hit me hard enough to bring me to my knees in tears.

I made it a point to visit the field every day and pick a few sunflowers every couple days. This was the third bouquet I'd crafted. I hoped it would find its intended owner soon. I was almost afraid to return to the hut; I had a feeling I would return to the same defeated atmosphere and somberness that we all tried to hide.

But maybe, today would be different.

I tried to balance my optimism with the realism that I had grown too used to in recent times.

I stood up, collected my sunflowers, and made my way back to Kaede's hut, lost in my thoughts the whole time. Mostly memories…

It was almost dark by the time I returned to my new home. The comforting smell of food and the strange sounds of laughter greeted me as I drew close. Kirara stopped and excitedly sniffed the air before mewing intensely and darting inside the hut.

"Kirara?!" I chased after her. "What's up?" I reached the doorway and pushed aside the cloth overhang.

I couldn't believe my eyes.

I nearly dropped my bouquet of sunflowers.

Around a small table sat Miroku, Inuyasha, Kaede, Shippo, Kagome, and my sister.

_Sango is back._

Kirara was now excitedly pining for her attention. Now I understood why my little cat companion left me in such a hurry! I noticed Kagura was also near them, although sitting off in the corner, as more of an observer. She seemed happy, too. Everyone seemed so happy and a vibrant warmth permeated the atmosphere of our shared home.

"Kohaku?" Sango noticed me. I could see the beginnings of happy tears welling in her eyes.

"Sister…" I rushed over to her and before she could fully rise to greet me, I had my arms around her shoulders in a tight embrace. I didn't want to ever let her go again. I let myself cry into her shoulder. I pulled away after a moment, sensing discomfort and soon noticed her left arm wrapped in a makeshift cast. "You're injured…"

"I'll be fine, Kohaku," said Sango. I sat beside her, trying not to worry too much. _She has a lot of injuries…_

I shook my head, attempting to clear my thoughts. "I—I picked these for you!" I presented Sango with the bouquet of sunflowers.

"Kohaku…" tears welled in her eyes again. "Thank you." She took the flowers and inhaled their scent, closing her eyes, as if remembering something nice. I hoped she remembered the tiger lilies from all those years ago.

"You're welcome." I smiled, somewhat embarrassed.

"They're wonderful." Sango put her good arm around me and I leaned against her and closed my eyes.

For a moment, I could be complacent in pretending we were still at home in our village.

In a way, that thought was not incorrect at all.

* * *

_[Sango's point of view.]_

" _Kagura, I know something bad happened while she was gone. We_ all _do."_

" _Inuyasha, leave her alone!"_

" _Kagome… we need to know for sure. I'm worried, Miroku's worried,_ you're _worried… I think we all know…"_

" _I'm sorry, Inuyasha, Kagome, it is not my place to speak of what happened to her while we were at that damned place."_

" _I'm sure Sango will tell us when she's ready."_

" _Hmmf. Whatever. Either way, just gives me another reason to destroy Naraku in the most painful way possible."_

" _Inuyasha! I know you care, but you have a weird way of showing it sometimes!"_

" _My bad! Sorry that I'm worried for our friend!"_

" _You're such a dick!"_

" _And you're being kind of a bi—"_

" _SIT, BOY!"_

_CRASH!_

I pulled the blankets over my head and turned on my side. I loved them all so much and I was beyond ecstatic to be back with them, but… sometimes I just wanted to be alone. Miroku hadn't left my side much since I returned. We honestly hadn't even spoken much, but I would be lying if I said I did not appreciate his presence and the newfound gentleness with which he spoke and approached me.

If Miroku wasn't around, usually Kaede and/or Kagome were at my side. Kirara rarely left me, loyal as ever. Kohaku was around almost as much as Miroku at first, although he later admitted that he didn't like seeing me like this. I had a sinking feeling he harbored some false feelings of responsibility for my current condition. It's not his fault. Never would be.

Inuyasha and Shippo dropped in a few times per day. Some things never change—Inuyasha would sit quietly with me and we would just talk. Mostly reminiscing. He would always be my brother-in-arms. Not that anyone else explicitly _pried_ for details concerning my capture, but Inuyasha never even treaded near that territory of conversation. I was grateful. I wasn't ready to talk, yet.

But I swear, he _knew._ He knew something was amiss. Something was different. Something awful had transpired. I didn't know if he could smell it on me or he had some kind of weird, hanyou sixth sense, or what, but…

He probably knew.

And he never said a damn thing.

He just sat with me and offered his friendship. Nothing more, nothing less.

I hadn't seen much of Kagura since we returned. We had been back nearly a week now, I think. Kohaku said she accompanied him on walks a lot. That made me happy to hear. I assumed they had formed some kind of bond while in Naraku's "employment" together, that which would carry on afterward. Although, I did worry for her. She went through a lot, too. And I still cared so deeply for her…

I wonder if she was avoiding me because of Miroku. No, she wouldn't be that way… And besides, there's nothing to worry about. Is there? I'm not _with_ him, after all…

I'm not with her, either.

Anymore…

Was I ever?

My brain was hurting once more, in addition to my heart.

' _Should we be temporary at best…'_

I quickly whisked away thoughts of both Kagura and Miroku and instead chose to focus on what I had unintentionally eavesdropped on a few minutes prior.

They were wondering. They had a right to know. Didn't they? Did they?

Kagura always said I didn't owe anyone any explanation of anything, ever.

I wanted to say she was right…

But the way Miroku looked the other night…

We were alone in the hut. The others were all outside gathered around a fire. I wanted so badly to join them but ultimately chose not to due to a pounding headache and reignited aches and pains throughout my body. Nothing unsavory had ever went on between Miroku and I. We were just sitting together and chatting. I fell asleep against him, just barely asleep. He put his arm around me, and I lost my shit for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

I struck him like I never had before.

In my mind, with my eyes closed, and even for a few moments after I was fully awake once more, it wasn't Miroku's arm around me and his hand on my thigh—it was Naraku. For no reason. And I couldn't stand it.

Everyone came back inside, from the commotion. I guess I had screamed, too. I know Miroku yelped in pain and possibly fear. I hated the way everyone stared at me, like I was a crazy person. ( _Maybe I was… maybe I am…_ )

I mostly hated the way Miroku looked at me. Shock, concern, fear, empathy, confusion… all swirled in his gorgeous blue eyes. All aforementioned emotions were directed at me. It stung.

I think I probably owed him an explanation. He didn't deserve my wrath over something that was literally nothing… he offered comfort, completely free of his usual ulterior motives. And I offered him unbridled, insane rage in return.

And he thought nothing of it.

The next day—yesterday—it was like nothing happened. He treated me no differently, aside from being noticeably extra cautious with his hands and limbs. No one spoke of the incident. But I felt like I was being watched, too, to a degree. They had a right to be worried.

Maybe they had a right to know.

But I could not recount any of that all at once, and not to everyone. I didn't even know who I would _prefer_ to confess my sins and related tragedies to… I didn't know if whatever remained of my pride could handle it.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of my friends—my family—entering the hut. They were quiet, otherwise, refraining from speaking. They probably all assumed I was still asleep. I decided now was a good time to feign waking up.

"Sango! Good morning!" cheerily greeted Kagome.

"Good morning, Kagome," I smiled at my friend. "Kagura," I noticed her standing nearby. She offered me a weak smile in return.

"How are you feeling today?" asked Kagome, kneeling beside me and gently placing her hand on my forehead.

"Eh, I'm alright, I think," I answered. "I slept better than usual." I noticed Inuyasha had not joined the girls in coming inside. My intuition told me he was either still in a crater out front or had left in a huff after being sat into said crater by Kagome.

"That's good to hear," said Kagome.

"Where's Inuyasha and the others?" I asked.

The twitch in Kagome's eyebrow at the mere mention of Inuyasha's name was answer enough to part of that question. " _That asshole_ went for a walk…" I eyed Kagura leaning against the wall in the background, pretending to inspect her fan. She damn well knew what had transpired, I guessed. "Miroku and Kaede are off performing blessings. Shippo, Kohaku, and Kirara went off to find more herbs for your medicines."

Kagome turned to Kagura and smiled at her. "Kagura actually told me about some of the medicines and poultices she's created that have helped you in the past." The miko turned back to me, that infectious smile still gracing her features. "She said she would show me how to prepare some of them later." I couldn't help but smile at the idea of Kagome and Kagura beginning a friendship of sorts. My heart grew even lighter when I eyed Kagura in the background, an embarrassed and small smile on her pale face.

"Sango, I can't say it enough," said Kagome, "but I'm so glad you're back and you're safe. We were so worried."

"I know," I said. "I'm sorry for causing such anxiety and worry…"

"Don't be," said Kagura, kneeling on the other side of me and offering me a glass of water. I took it from her. She flashed me a genuine smile before standing back up.

"If it was any one of us, you'd be worried, too," said Kagome.

"True…"

"Hey, we're almost out of water," said Kagura from a few paces away. "I'll go fetch us some more."

"Ok, Kagura. Have fun and be safe!" Kagome called after the wind witch as she quietly left our small abode.

"I'm glad you two are getting along," I observed.

"She's not so bad," said Kagome with a smile.

"I know… she's a good person, Kagome. She's a good friend."

"I'm glad you had her while you were… away…"

The air around us was growing uncomfortable once more.

"Sango," started Kagome. _Here it goes…_ "I know you don't want to talk about it, and I respect that… but I'm worried about you. Everyone is. I have a feeling something bad happened while you were gone… you're different somehow. I can't quite put my finger on it."

I was quiet. I averted my gaze to the half empty glass in my hands. I knew Kagome cared for me. They all did…

"I'm sorry, Kagome."

"Sango, don't apologize! You have nothing to be sorry for!"

"I know I'm worrying everyone with my silence… You all are like my family. You're like my _sister,_ my best friend… I want to talk, Kagome, I do…" I could feel my mind beginning to drift into dangerous territory.

"Please don't feel pressured, no matter what," said Kagome. "We're all here for you." The priestess carefully put her arm around my shoulders. I tensed initially and mentally berated myself for doing so, then leaned against her, thankful for her camaraderie.

"I know, Kagome. Thank you…"

We sat in silence. The occasional bird would chirp outside and I could somewhat hear usual village commotion off in the distance. I could honestly say I was thankful for this quiet moment with my friend. It's not that I took our friendship and bonding for granted in the past or anything; but it was different now. I now bore a newfound appreciation.

"Kagome," I began finally, "I really _do_ want to talk. Believe me… It's just… that's not a place I want to go back to, mentally. I can't. Not yet."

"Sango…"

I bit back tears. "But, if I were to talk to anyone, I think I would feel the safest talking to you." I was proud of the way I held my voice—strong and neutral… "Maybe Kaede… I don't know…" I turned to Kagome. She had tears in her eyes. Almost as soon as we made eye contact, the young miko threw her arms around me and pulled me into a gentle, comforting embrace.

"It's going to be ok, Sango," said Kagome. "I promise."


	32. Chapter Thirty-one: Someone that Could Save...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: “Jesus” by Brand New]

_[Sango’s point of view.]_

_The devil and god are raging inside me._

Recurring dreams mirroring that of the few days I was unconscious back at the castle… they won’t seem to go away. A noble warrior with the aura of a savior and purity (Miroku), an angelic beauty emanating love and protection (Kagura), and a vile demonic presence that always left me waking up feeling cold and empty (Naraku)… Always the foggy, dilapidated pier, always my father… And then it never fails, I’m back in that bedroom at the castle… Sometimes I can’t scream, I can’t speak… Until I wake up screaming.

Like this morning.

I chased everyone out of the hut, throwing whatever I could get my hands on. I feel like I am going crazy.

Kagura was the only person brave enough to come back inside. Not even Inuyasha, Kaede, or Kirara would dare venture back to me. Kagura said she could feel my anger. She could feel my hurt. She begged me to get better, to talk, to allow them to help me…

After what felt like hours of tears, sorrow, and light arguing with the wind sorceress, she finally convinced me to say something. Something about her was different this morning—different like the side of her I had only seen a few times, most notably the night she confessed her love and concern for me. Her guard was down, evident in the emotional depths of her ruby irises as she held me in an initial restraint that eventually gave way to a gentle embrace as apathy and exhaustion swept over me.

My mind blanked after I had my fill of cursing and yelling at her to leave me be. When words could finally form and Kagura kneeled before me, wiping my tears, the only string of words I could coherently think were ‘ _She’s so pretty…’_ And wondering why she was so hellbent on saving me… I had to save myself. I’ve done it before. _My whole life…_

But it’s cold here, alone.

_I probably shouldn’t…_

Kagura had been kind enough to relay my request to our group to carry on like usual, as if I had not caused a scene first thing in the morning. I was shocked when no one tried to fight her on it, even and especially Inuyasha. I was aware Kagura pulled Kagome aside and asked her to come see me in private later. I promised I would at least talk to her. She was becoming quite the healer and priestess, and above all, she was my friend.

I hugged my knees to my chest, wincing a little as I did so. My ribs were still healing, along with the rest of my collection of ailments and injuries… My arm had to be rebroken and reset, unfortunately. On the bright side, my leg was not fully broken, just a minor fracture that was actually healing well, per Kaede.

I reiterate: I would take a thousand broken bones or being buried alive time and time again over this mental hell that I now found myself in. This was the most novel kind of torture. I still did not want to talk. I did not want to breathe a word to anyone. This was my defeat, my shame, and my cross to bear alone.

But Kagura was probably right, however. If I don’t let it out, I will let it eat me away. I was already beginning to let my life rot me inside out.

I have friends who care about me…

_My brother…_

It hit me. Could I really continue to sufficiently uphold my role as his older sibling if I were to stay as bitter, angry, and afraid?

_He did fine without me…_

No.

Fuck that.

_They only want the best for me…_

_Where do I even begin?_

I looked up and Kagome was leaning against the doorway, a somber and concerned look in her eyes.

“Hey, Sango… Kagura said you wanted to talk to me…?”

Anxiety squeezed my insides and I felt light-headed.

* * *

_Kagome… I’ve given you all—my gravest words and most shameful confession… and now I feel like I am nothing._

I spared her the more gruesome details of some of my plight. She knew enough and she knew the ‘story’. She knew about the initial battles, Rouge, the saimyosho nest, my suicide attempts, Naraku’s Northern excursion, how I freed Kagura, Rouge, and Kohaku… She knew about the cell and how I was nearly dead for two to three days. She knew how Kagura took care of me. She did _not_ know, however, of the more intimate details of my experiences with Kagura. I did not see that as pertinent to retelling my trauma and it was honestly something I was not thrilled to have to confess to, either.

Kagome is a good friend.

_The best._

She listened. She just sat beside me and held me and listened. Never once did she pass judgment—although I always _knew_ she wouldn’t… part of me was still afraid. The high standard I hold myself to… maybe it _is_ too much…

The hardest part of it all was admitted out loud what happened. I don’t know how long it took me to summon the courage to say the words…

_“Kagome… I was raped…”_

I cried for so long after that short sentence. I had never said it aloud. I couldn’t. It was as if saying those words and admitting such a crime, such a downfall, would be enough to completely strip me of whatever may remain of my honor, rank, name, and self.

And Kagome didn’t judge. She didn’t leave.

_“Sango, I’m so sorry…”_

Tears, silence. For who knows how long…

_“You never deserved any of that. It was never your fault.”_

_But I fought so hard… I wasn’t strong enough._

“It’s not your fault,” Kagome reiterated once more, holding me close and running her hand through my hair.

I clung to her and buried my face in her shoulder, crying hard. I felt so ashamed, so weak… somehow, though, maybe I could feel the smallest spark of something… lighter? I don’t know, everything hurts right now…

I cried myself to sleep in Kagome’s embrace. When I woke up, we talked some more and she made me some tea. We discussed… the future. Mainly, my recovery. In Kagome’s time, apparently, confessing one’s trauma to a professional therapist is something that may help. I thought of Kaede… I think I could talk to her, eventually. My first reaction at the idea of ‘talk therapy’ was cynical—I almost laughed inside my head; I would rather take out my frustrations in battle. But, alas, I was still injured and I knew my physical recovery would take a long time, too. Kagome also offered books and supplements from her time. She was really worried about me. I am thankful to have such a caring friend, really.

I gave her my permission to tell Inuyasha and Kaede what happened to me. I would tell Miroku and Kohaku. Shippo was too young to understand. They were my family. I don’t know if they had a right to know and maybe Kagura was right in that I do not owe _anyone_ an explanation, but I _wanted_ them to know. I wanted them to help.

_I don’t want to hurt anymore._

* * *

_[Kohaku’s point of view.]_

_Somehow, I always knew…_

I sat by the stream, listening to the rushing water and trying to process what was just said to me less than an hour ago. Kagome and Kagura came to see me while I was sparring with Inuyasha. Kagura pulled me aside and warned me that my sister had to talk to me about something important.

I was not as young and naïve as people made me out to be. Not at all. But I wish I was, sometimes.

Sango confided in me her gravest confession, verbalized one of her worst fears that had come to life. I cried with her and for once I felt as though our roles were reversed. It was my turn to be the crying shoulder, the protector, the guardian, and the healer. I didn’t know what to say. I _still_ don’t know what to say.

I know I’m angry. _Oh, I’m so far past the point of angry…_

There are no words to describe the rage I feel in my heart right now.

The very moment I meet Naraku again, he will surely pay in the worst way imaginable.

The act itself is just… unspeakably cruel and dehumanizing. I felt sick again at the thought… But the aftereffects, the remnants of the trauma… I wouldn’t know at all, but from what I could tell, _that_ may be worse. _My sister will never be the same…_

I partially held blame at first. After a long talk and an even longer crying session, Sango began to convince me otherwise. It would still be a while before I will fully accept that, though… _She was always chasing after me, trying to rescue me…_

And she almost died. Several times.

The tears came again, uninvited, unwanted, but unapologetic.

I don’t know what I would do without her…

_I think I understand now, why she was always so angry, so anxious, so hellbent on getting me back…_

My reverie was interrupted by a soft, feminine voice behind me, accompanied by a cool breeze.

“Hey.”

I turned and wiped my eyes. Kagura stood behind me.

“Are you ok, kid?” She sat beside me, also focusing her gaze on the water. Her voice sounded tired and she looked a little sad.

“I don’t know, Kagura,” I cleared my throat. “It’s a lot to process.”

“Mmmhmm…”

_She was there for most of my sister’s ordeal…_

“Thank you, Kagura.”

“What for?” The wind demon turned to me, one eyebrow raised in question.

“You helped her,” I answered. “You were always there for her.”

Kagura allowed herself a small smile. She briefly closed her eyes and then turned away from me once more, staring off across the stream, into the trees. “How could I not be?” Her tone indicated her guard was back up, but only barely. “Sango is a wonderful person. She’s the bravest and one of the strongest I’ve ever met. I just wish she could see that…” A wistful sadness existed in her last sentence.

“She is… and I wish so, too…” I sighed. “Have you told her any of that?”

Kagura’s cool demeanor shattered briefly. I swear I saw a glint of panic in her eyes. “I have, actually! Multiple times! I don’t think she hears me, though… Or she doesn’t take it to heart. I wish she could see herself as I see her…”

_Kagura cares for my sister quite a lot…_

“You and Sango have gotten really close, haven’t you?” I asked.

Kagura’s face reddened and she turned away from me. She began fidgeting with her fan; I noticed a long time ago she did that when she was either anxious or pretending to look bored. I don’t know why she was so flustered with my simple question.

“Your sister is a good friend, is all!” Kagura’s words came out harsh, however, I did not take it personally. “She’s… the only one I’ve ever had, really, I guess…” She sounded softer this time.

_Does she…? Nah… Well, maybe… and it’s none of my business._

_I just want for my sister’s happiness. And recovery…_

_She deserves to be happy._

“Well, Kagura, if it’s not too much to ask, I’ll be your friend, too.” I turned to Kagura and smiled.

The wind witch was noticeably uncomfortable. “Don’t get sappy with me, kid!”

I laughed a little and scooted closer to her, just to add some light humor and insult to perceived ego injury. “I’m just saying…”

Kagura rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is, thank you for caring for Sango. I’m glad she has you. You have no idea how thankful I am. I know you took care of her.”

Kagura’s expression softened. “Yeah, well… think nothing of it. It was an honor to fight alongside her and to be able to care for her.”

“I just want her to get better and to be happy, Kagura.”

The wind demon cautiously put her arm around my shoulders. After her action fully registered with me, I leaned against her.

“So do I, Kohaku. So do I.”

* * *

_[Miroku’s point of view.]_

“Sango, how are you?” I slowly walked into Kaede’s hut and greeted the woman across from me.

“I’m… alright, Miroku. How are you today?” Sango answered me in a soft voice. Her tone was surprisingly tired, almost vulnerable. She sat against the wall, near the back corner of the hut. She hadn’t moved much from the bedroll and pile of blankets and pillows since she had returned home to us. I didn’t blame her. Her injuries were quite grave.

“I’m decent, I suppose,” I answered honestly. I was worried for her… I had been worried since her disappearance over a month ago. I could accurately say her absence may have taken some time off my life. _But, she is here now, safe, with us. With me._ Grounding myself to the present had become a mighty need since she was taken from us. Meditation barely overcompensated for my worry. I was lucky to have been trained so well in the art.

“Miroku, I… I’d like to talk to you, if you don’t mind,” said Sango. She patted the ground beside her and moved over a little, gesturing me over.

“Anytime, Sango. It’s what I’m here for.” I carefully sat beside her, mindful of our proximity to one another. I was fully aware of her apparent discomfort around us—especially myself and Inuyasha. Her outburst the other morning spoke volumes… and I was afraid it would confirm my worst fear.

Sango took a deep breath and pulled the sleeping Kirara into her lap. She anxiously began to stroke the demon cat’s fur as she exhaled. “Miroku…” Her voice was shaky and small, so unlike her…

“It’s ok, Sango. Take your time. There is no rush at all. And you don’t even have to say anything if you do not want to.”

“No, I _want_ to… It’s just… so hard…” The slayer cast her gaze down, focusing on Kirara. The animal purred happily in her sleep. I was thankful Sango had such a companion to offer her comfort. I had a bad feeling that whatever Sango was about to tell me was not going to be good at all…

“Miroku…” Sango slowly turned to look at me, tears welling in her beautiful brown eyes. “Please don’t judge me… _Please…_ ”

“I would _never_ … you know that…” I wanted to reach out and touch her so badly; I just wanted to hold her and take away her pain…

“Ok…” Sango looked away from me once more, this time seeming to stare at the wall. She took a deep breath and began her tale. I braced myself for the impact. I don’t know if I was truly ready for what I was about to hear.

“Miroku…” she paused once more. _She was so tense._ I could feel it in her energy and see it in her body language, or lack of. “A lot of things happened at Naraku’s castle while I was away… I saw and experienced a lot of things there that will probably haunt me for the rest of my life…” I could tell she was trying really hard to hold back tears. It killed me to see her like this…

“I fought with Kagura and Naraku almost immediately upon my arrival… I don’t think Kagura ever wanted to fight me, in retrospect. Anyway…” she paused again and took a deep breath. “The third night I was there…”

Sango unexpectedly turned to face me, her face red and stained with silent tears. “Miroku, I beg of you: _Please_ don’t think any less of me for what I’m about to tell you!” She took a deep breath and held her face in her hands. Her shoulders shook with quiet sobs. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around her and comfort her, but I refrained, completely unsure of how she would react.

“You have my word, Sango. Nothing you could say or do would _ever_ diminish my opinion of or feelings for you.”

_I hope that wasn’t too much… too late…_

Sango nodded, an action barely visible. She mumbled something into her hands that I could not quite hear. I hoped I didn’t hear it correctly…

“I’m sorry; I—I couldn’t hear you… forgive me…” I hated asking her to repeat herself. The words clearly tore her apart. I was close to tears myself but kept my composure. I had to. _For her…_

“ _Miroku, I was raped.”_

Her words destroyed my planet.

She wouldn’t move, she wouldn’t turn to face me at all. Sango sat quietly for a moment and then burst into tears, pulling a blanket up to her face. Kirara relocated to her side and sat beside her, protectively. I felt tears forming in my own eyes and did nothing to prevent the single droplet that fell down my cheek. I could almost _feel_ Sango’s pain—the unrelenting, shameful, angry fear that emanated from her being. It broke my heart more than I think anything could.

I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to do. I felt useless sitting beside her, silently beginning to cry myself but still trying to keep my composure and stifle my own emotions. I needed to be strong right now. I needed to be calm. I was angry, too. _So angry…_ Angrier than I’ve ever been, if I could be honest. But displaying that anger would add no value to the current situation.

After what felt like an eternity of sorrow and anguish, Sango wiped her eyes and quietly continued her story. “It… happened more than once… at least four or five times… I don’t know…” She bit back tears once more, still avoiding eye contact with me. “I fought Rouge, Naraku, and Kohaku a lot in between… I feel like I never fought hard enough, though… I could never win against _him._ ”

“Sango… I’m sure you did everything you could. You’re so strong… please don’t think otherwise. It’s not your fault…”

“Then why do I feel like this? I’m such a failure, Miroku… I’m weak…”

“No… you are not. You are strong and brave…”

“I don’t know how many times I almost died.” Sango laughed darkly and shook her head. Silence fell between us. “…some of those times, it was almost by my own hand.”

Another silent tear slowly rolled down my cheek.

“There were many times where I just didn’t want to live anymore… it’s terrible. I felt—and _still_ feel and will _always_ feel—so dirty, worthless, horrible… there are not words to describe it…”

I focused so strongly on her, her words, her disposition… I couldn’t think too much farther into what she just confessed. _I can’t imagine this world without her…_ My _world without her._

“Kagura saved me once,” Sango added finally. “Maybe a few times. I don’t know… she was always there. She always took care of me… I really don’t think I’d be here without her, honestly.”

I cleared my throat, hoping my words would come out as neutral as I’d planned in my head. “I’m thankful she was there for you. I can’t imagine this world without you, Sango.”

“I’m sorry, Miroku,” cried Sango. She pulled her knees to her chest and buried her face in her hands. _“I’m so sorry!”_

“Sango, no… please don’t apologize…” It was so hard to just sit there and only listen. It was even more difficult to see her hurting like this. Physical comfort or not, it would take far more than a simple hug or prayers to mend this pain that she was feeling. The physical wounds would heal, but the scars on her soul would remain indefinitely.

“After… we attacked the castle… and tried to escape—Kohaku escaped—” Violent sobs wracked her shoulders again. She held up her hand in a fist as if she was about to strike the floor but caught herself, instead angrily grasping at the blanket and leaning forward, tears cascading down her beautiful face. “ _I’m sorry—I—I can’t… I don’t want to talk about that again… I can’t go back there today…”_

“It’s ok, Sango…” I took a deep breath and wiped my own eyes. “You’ve said enough.”

I swallowed hard and cleared my throat, daring to scoot a little closer to her.

“Thank you for talking to me, Sango. Thank you for sharing your trauma. I know that was not hard to do.”

Sango finally made a motion of almost looking up at me. She nodded weakly and mouthed ‘you’re welcome’ before wiping her eyes again.

“Is there anything I can do? Anything at all?” I asked, trying to hide the desperation in my voice.

Silence fell between us again, although the air felt a little thinner than before.

“I… don’t know…” Sango finally answered. “I... I know we never discussed this in detail, but… I—nevermind…”

“No! What is it? Talk to me, Sango. _Please._ ” I almost felt guilty pleading with her like this. The poor woman owed me no further explanation.

Sango cleared her throat and leaned her head back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling. “Miroku… I’m just going to go ahead and say it.. or whatever… I’m sorry, my head is such a mess right now—”

“Please quit apologizing, Sango. Just take your time.”

She sighed and the smallest bit of tension seemed to leave her body. “Ok… Miroku… was there ever a chance for us? Like, really…?”

I was taken aback by this question. _Of course! Why wouldn’t there have been?!_

“Of course! Why… why do you ask? I know the last time we discussed this, we agreed to just see what happens…” I felt my stomach forming a knot inside me.

“What about now…?” Her question was so soft, so scared.

“Why wouldn’t there be?” I asked, trying to contain my emotion.

Sango closed her eyes and exhaled harshly. “I’m _tainted_ , Miroku. I am _damaged._ I am _fucked up._ ”

“No, you’re not—”

“ _Yes_ I _am!_ ” We made eye contact for the first time since I came to speak with her. I looked away this time. A burning, sorrow-filled rage pierced her eyes. I could see the pain in her soul.

I gave her time and space. Eventually, I dared to speak again: “… what happened to you does not and _will never_ change the way I feel, Sango.” I turned to her again, looking into her eyes. “And I’ll never think any less of you. As a person, as a woman, as a friend, as a warrior… as someone I _love_ …”

Fresh tears began forming in her eyes. “ _Miroku…_ ”

“I mean that, Sango. Please believe me.”

“I do…”

We sat in silence for what felt like forever. I didn’t know what else to say. I said everything I wanted to say; everything I said, I hoped she wanted to hear, to some extent or another. I never meant to impose, offend, or hurt.

“What do you need from me, Sango?” I asked once more. I opened my eyes and turned to face her again. She sat in her place, back against the wall. Kirara was asleep at her side once more. Sango’s anxiety seemed to have diminished a little; I noticed she was making more eye contact with me and was significantly less fidgety with the blankets.

“I… I don’t know, Miroku. I’m sorry, I don’t…” Sango sighed and closed her eyes. She looked so tired.

“Anything at all? Long-term, now, whenever… I only want for your happiness and your recovery.”

She was quiet for a moment; I could tell she was deep in thought. The faintest traces of cuts and bruises still existed on her face. But she was still the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

“Is there anything I can do, at all?” I asked again, almost desperate. _Say something, say anything… Even if you wish for me to leave; I’ll do anything…_

Sango slowly turned toward me and slowly inched closer. She carefully placed her bandaged hand on top of mine. I felt my heart skip a beat.

“Will you… hold me…?”

I was shocked at her request but no less honored and inwardly elated. I only wanted to comfort her and protect her, make her feel safe and loved and wanted and beautiful…

“Of course, Sango.” I gently put my arms around her and pulled her close. I felt her shoulders tense at my initial touch and my heart fell a little. “Are you ok? Did I hurt you?”

“No…” Sango shook her head and leaned against me. “Sorry…”

“Please don’t apologize, my dear. You have no reason to.” She gradually began to relax in my careful embrace. I relaxed, too, and enjoyed the tension leaving the area around us.

“Miroku,” said Sango.

“Hmm?”

“I… I don’t know how long it will take for me to… get better…” She sighed and held onto me a little tighter. “Please just know that I love you, too. I just… I need time, Miroku. It will be a very long time before I will be able to function in any type of romantic relationship…”

_She loves me…_

I allowed myself to shed a single tear of happiness.

“That’s completely fine, Sango. I understand.” I planted a gentle kiss on top of her head and took in her scent. _Gods, I’ve missed you so much… You have no idea…_ “As I said before, I’ll wait for you.”

“You know I can’t ask you to do that. I won’t.”

“Then don’t.” I could tell she was finally fully relaxed in my arms. I smiled.

“Sango… can we just ‘be’, then? And see what happens?”

“I don’t see why not, Miroku.”


	33. Thirty-two: Her Monologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Soundtrack: “Her Monologue” by Issues]

_[Kagura’s point of view.]_

It’s been an absolute pleasure watching her recover.

_(…can I be your recovery…?)_

Our resident futuristic miko, Kagome, may be correct after all, in her assessment that talking things out does not necessarily invite the demons back in. But I still would not say a word if it were me, personally. I would take my pain to my grave and bury the memories in the dirt and bones of my traumas. I had my fair share of the aforementioned dirt and bones, too.

But Sango is far braver than I. A complete upheaval and unearthing of my gravest words and most demonized memories is not something I would willingly consent to.

But goddammit, she did it. Every two to three days, too.

I guess maybe it works, after all. Or maybe it’s just a reflection of old Kaede’s healing powers. Kagome says it’s both. I don’t know…

_And she’s still pretty…_

_‘Still pretty?’_

_‘Still pretty.’_

I glanced for a moment into Kaede’s hut from up on my tree limb. It looked as if another ‘therapy’ session had concluded. Kagome was there, this time. I was unsure exactly what part of the horror story was professed this time, but judging by the look on Kagome’s face and the way she wiped away tears upon her departure, it was one of the worst parts.

Who am I kidding?

_The whole ordeal is the worst part._

_But none of you were there…_

The novelty of ‘freedom’ was still very much with me. I woke up and actually thanked the universe ( _…and Sango…_ ) in the mornings for the beating heart in my chest. I didn’t dare stray too far from the village, however; and I limited my travel on my feather to a similar nearby radius.

I don’t know what became of Naraku, but I _know_ he’s still out there… somewhere…

_Waiting…_

The hole in the monk’s hand does not lie.

_The bastard is still alive somewhere…_

_So what do we do in the meantime?_

Kaede says recover.

Inuyasha says prepare.

I say stop and smell the fucking roses for once.

Call it a hedonistic and debatably nihilistic viewpoint, perhaps…

_Instead, I’ll just sit here and watch her recover, I suppose._

Gods know I need some recovery of my own, though…

_Not today…_

_In due time…_

_My recovery is intertwined with hers, kind of, maybe…_

* * *

A night flight is just what I needed.

My mind was full of noises. Feelings that reverberated in my memories and echoed in every beat of my heart. Emotions that screamed louder than my wretched life.

Sango said they’re going to try again, maybe.

Her and Miroku, that is.

I couldn’t be mad at her… He was there first. And always stood as an ally. I was born—created—to be her enemy. Half of me was happy for her. The other half mourned something we never had.

_My first free drop of water never tasted as good as her kiss…_

I will always be her friend. I promised that when we plotted our exit what felt like lifetimes ago. That would never change. I just didn’t imagine it would be so bittersweet at first.

_But he will take care of her._

I can live with that.

I grounded myself with following my breathing patterns and feeling the wind whipping through my hair. I closed my eyes and began a mental recap of our adventures together. My thinking began to speed up, along with my heartrate. My thoughts on her hit the ceiling and I felt the most random urge to jump off my feather.

I only screamed instead.

_L’appel du vide… or so it goes._

I did not need the void calling me any longer. Lest the void become synonymous with her name.

I opened my eyes and was startled at the realization that I had already flown farther than I had ever expected or planned on going. A small trace of fear coursed through my veins but was soon flushed out by adrenaline and pride. I am the wind—and I will not be swayed by fear or contained in any way!

Fear is a type of containment… Love could be argued as a kindred spirit to that, as well. _What even is love?_

Love according to Naraku is weakness.

Love according to Kohaku is family.

Love according to Inuyasha is either food or chasing a ghost.

Love according to Kagome is apparently instant noodles ( _she was so mad at him that afternoon…_ ).

Shippo says love is complicated.

The kid’s probably right.

Sango can walk on her own now. Almost. With the aid of a cane.

_Love is the way Miroku holds her hand and steadies her as she tries to walk without any assistance. Love is the look in his eyes as he watches her smile._

_I wish I could be that love. It looks warm._

_It gets cold here in the clouds._

* * *

I have not slept in days.

Then again, sleep was not so imperative as a nightly or daily procedure. My powerful yokai blood demanded far less than that of a mortal. However, I was growing desperate…

It was my turn for the nightmares.

_(Love is the way she woke me from my nightmare and held me for once. Love is the safety in her arms.)_

Pride is the way I allowed this comfort only for a moment. And envy is the way I flew off into the night on my feather.

It was much colder in the heavens this time. Maybe my face just stung icy-hot because of the tears. Or perhaps it was the embarrassment.

_She will never love me. Not really…_

_She fucking lied._

I flew around aimlessly trying to clear my head. It was no use. Eventually the tears stopped and I Just felt empty. Empty with my thoughts. Naraku invaded my consciousness every now and then.

_“I’m all you’ll ever be, Kagura. I’m all you’ll ever know. I’m all you’ll ever have.”_

I cursed into the clouds and hit myself in the head, then violently rubbed my eyes and yelled out again at no one except maybe myself. A familiar yet novel, floral scent reached my awareness. I closed my eyes again and had the most sickening sense of déjà vu.

_I was struck by something and fell out of the air, gasping for breath and clutching my chest. I could feel poison rushing through my veins as I landed in a field of flowers._

_‘Find me…’_

_My lone thought echoed in my head and then all around me, along with the scent of death, poison, and white anemones._

This fucking dream.

I opened my eyes and looked down. A field of white anemone flowers basking in the moonlight were beneath me. I had the most random urge to investigate. Within moments, I landed, graceful as always. I tucked my feather back into my hair and looked around the oddity of my dreamscape come to life.

I crouched down and plucked a single flower out of the ground and examined it. It was so beautiful, so innocent, so full of life, and so fragile. I brought the small plant to my nose and inhaled its sweet scent.

‘ _Find me…’_

“Find me.”

I stood up and as I did so, a breeze not of my own surrounded me. I looked around, slightly suspicious. No one was there. Just me, the flowers, and my existential dread.

I soon found my mind was beginning to quiet. My racing thoughts and ruminating became fainter and fainter. I kneeled back down and clutched my flower to my chest like it was something so much more. I slowly laid back in the flowers and watched the clouds and the stars above.

Sango and I used to watch the stars. We would wish for our future. Our freedom.

I thought I saw a shooting star. Or maybe it was just my blurred consciousness fading in and out.

* * *

“ _Kagura…_ ”

I slowly opened my eyes and sat up. _I know that voice…_ I glanced around and upon finding nothing and no one in my immediate line of sight, I looked behind me.

“ _Sesshomaru?”_

The dog demon lord of the Western lands stood before me, regal as always, his presence reeking of arrogance. I noticed soon that he was alone. His imp of a vassal and the human child, Rin, were nowhere to be found.

_You were in my dream… my recurring dying dream…_

“What do you want, Sesshomaru?” I accused, putting my guard up once more and standing. I finally let go of the flower I didn’t even realize I was still holding and felt it gently touch my foot at the final stop of its descent.

“I was out on a walk and happened across your scent… I thought it was Naraku, initially—” This comment made me gag and seethe with anger— “But then I realized it changed. You’re different now.” The ethereal man took a step closer to me and leaned forward ever so slightly. He put his hand on my chest and I froze. “You have your heart now.”

I had no words.

Sesshomaru slowly withdrew his hand, making eye contact with me the entire time. I could see something foreign in his eyes, something that was not quite him…

“Clearly you did not need me after all.”

Sesshomaru slowly turned away from me without saying another word.

_What…the hell…?_

“Just what is that supposed to mean?!” I shouted after him.

He just kept walking.

“Hey! I’m talking to you!”

When he said nothing yet again and made no motion of intending to stop or acknowledge me in any way, I withdrew my fan. “Hey, I’m talking to you, motherfucker!” _Nothing?! I insult you and still you pay me no mind?!_

“ _Dance of blades!_ ” I waved my fan at the demon lord and several windblades cascaded toward him.

_I hit my mark._

And time stood still.

Shocked at what I’d just done, I lowered my fan and froze, breathing heavily, eyes wide.

Sesshomaru stood still for a few moments. I could see where I had cut his elegant clothing, particularly a few spots on his sleeves. I could smell the faintest scent of blood, indicating I had done more than minor cosmetic damage to his attire.

Before I could exhale my next breath—surely it would be my last—Sesshomaru was right in front of me, grabbing me by my shoulders. His nails dug into my skin through my clothing and I could feel his breath against my face. He leaned forward so that our noses touched. His gorgeous amber eyes flashed a hint of teal, then gold, for just a moment. I wasn’t even sure if that change really occurred or not.

“You’re braver than I originally thought, Kagura…” His words were cool and intriguing.

“…I am…?” _How has he not killed me yet? I just showed him the utmost disrespect…_

_But I’m still alive, aren’t I?_

“I am…” I hoped I conveyed confidence in my words. I’d crash this insane, strange party for two and act like I owned the place.

“You’re braver than you originally thought, aren’t you?” Sesshomaru slowly brought his hand to the side of my face. I gasped and leaned my cheek against his palm, never breaking eye contact. I still couldn’t read between the lines in his words and the remarkable glint in his eyes.

_Maybe it’s just the light…_

_Or lack of…_

“I am, I know it now…” _Don’t let him distract you, don’t let him fool you…_ “I am the wind and as such, I cannot be contained. I do as I please.”

“Clearly…”

I paused, lost in his gaze. I could barely see my reflection in his golden irises. _This is what you’ve always wanted… all that and your heart…_

_To hell with it. Now or never. What have I got to lose?_

_Maybe I’ll move back on track… just like she did. As it is probably meant to be._

_Or whatever._

I bravely brought one hand to Sesshomaru’s hip and traced up his spine with the other. He just stood there, stone as a statue, expressionless, as always. Aside from that ever-present and new gesture in his eyes. A look meant just for me, just for this moment. My hand reached his neck. His skin was warm, soft. Likely flawless. Just like his entire being and how I always imagined him to be.

“On that note… of me doing whatever I please…” A confidence found me and I gently pulled at his hair. Sesshomaru finally made the smallest move—a slight twitch of his left shoulder and a narrowing of his eyes—indicating I had finally struck some kind of nerve.

“What do you want, Kagura?”

“What do _you_ want, Sesshomaru?”

A comfortable silence arose between us.

“Move a little closer… what are you afraid of?” I felt myself fall to pieces as Sesshomaru slowly, expressionlessly, brought his lips to mine.

_What am I afraid of?_

_I’m afraid of seeing the stars._

* * *

I landed next to the river near Kaede’s village, where we often bathed and washed laundry. I had no idea what time it was; it felt like the night was never-ending. In a good way.

But still, I felt hollow.

_That was not what I expected it to be…_

I couldn’t help but still feel giddy; young and stupid. Triumphantly arrogant. I kneeled next to the water and watched it flow. My reflection soon came into my focus and awareness. I moved my kimonos off one shoulder and examined the marks there and on my collarbone. An adrenaline-born smile greeted me in my reflection but soon faded.

_It meant nothing._

Having sex with Sesshomaru was not bad. No, it was far from it, in the physical aspect. _That was exhilarating… but that was it. A temporary fix I could cross off my bucket list._

_“Come find me again, Kagura, if you wish…”_

_I watched the lord of the West finish dressing and re-arming himself, proud of my nail marks on his formerly flawless back._

_“I may take you up on that offer, Lord Sesshomaru… we shall see.”_

_“Indeed.”_

It was _so random._

“Kagura?”

I gasped and spun around, reaching instinctually for my fan. I hated being caught off guard. And so vulnerable with my thoughts…

“What are you doing up?”

“Can’t sleep. Noticed you were gone.”

“Glad _someone_ noticed.” I turned back to the scene in front of me. It really was beautiful—the river, the trees…

“You sound frustrated.” Pause. Was that _tension_? “May I sit with you?”

“Knock yourself out.”

The young demon slayer carefully sat beside me and dangled his feet in the water. He winced at the colder temperature but soon seemed to adjust and joined me in gazing into the wilds of the forest across the river. I could tell he wanted to talk to me but got the feeling he was apprehensive for whatever reason. I could almost feel the awkwardness on him. _Kind of like his sister…_

_Damn her. Always in my mind…_

“Are you ok, Kagura?” asked Kohaku, innocently enough.

I didn’t even have a shitty remark for him. I was too tired. Exhaustion was beginning to course through my tired bones once again; and the rest of my body was still coming down from the gift of post-coital endorphins on behalf of Sesshomaru. A potentially disastrous combination for my guard and the filter of my words.

“Sango’s a little worried for you. She said you ran off this morning after you woke up from a nightmare or something.”

_She’s a little worried… ok._

“What does she care?” The sentence came out more hostile than I intended. A twinge of guilt plucked at a single heartstring in my chest.

“She’s been kind of… off… all day, since you left. Asked me if I’d talked to you recently or if I’d seen you.”

“Oh…” It was no surprise to me that the elder taijiya approached him with such questions. I had slowly found my place within Inuyasha’s pack recently but still stayed closer to Kohaku, in terms of both proximity and confidence. I tried to give Sango space since our return, both for herself and for me. I wanted her to be able to reintegrate with her friends and take her time with herself and with them. I watched her recovery from the periphery. It was bittersweet yet soothing to my soul.

But I missed her so…

“Are you mad at her, Kagura?”

“What?! No!” I briefly looked at the boy beside me just to scowl at him in my ego’s defense and then cross my arms and turn away like a pouting child.

“Are you sure?” _This boy is really tempting his chances tonight…_

“Yes, I’m _sure._ ”

“Alright, if you say so…” Kohaku didn’t sound convinced but I knew he knew to drop the subject.

I sighed. “I couldn’t be mad at Sango if I tried.” I looked up at the sky. The stars were still so beautiful, so plentiful. So mocking…

_Look at the stars… just look at how goddamn ugly the stars are…_

“Kagura, can I ask you something?”

“I guess. You’re going to ask me anyway, aren’t you, Kohaku?” I turned and arched an eyebrow at him. _Damn kid…_ He was well on his way to becoming a man but he still held this indescribable purity in his words, like a preview into his soul.

Kohaku giggled and flashed me that cheesy, innocent smile of his. “I don’t want to pry, Kagura.”

“No, no, it’s fine… we’re already here.”

Kohaku sighed, that goofy grin still adorning his features. “Ok… well… you don’t have to answer, really…”

“Out with it!” I leaned forward and dipped my hand into the water. “You’re making me nervous, kid.” I playfully splashed the boy and he held his arms up in futile defense, laughing.

“Fine, fine!” Kohaku cleared his throat and composed himself, trying to take on a more serious demeanor. I blinked and couldn’t hide the eager and expectant look on my face.

“ _Well…?”_

“Kagura… do you like my sister?”

I wanted to throw up. My stomach knotted up and I felt like my heart exploded out of my chest. I looked away from Kohaku, feeling my cheeks aflame and betraying my cool. “Of course I do—she’s my friend, after all…” _Great cover…_

“I didn’t mean like that.” Kohaku’s tone was neutral, which led me to a small panic. I did not know his intentions or thoughts and I did not like that. Whether it be conversation or battle, I did not like going in blind and unarmed.

“Then what _did_ you mean?”

“Kagura, I’m not stupid.”

“I know that.”

“I’m not as naïve as everyone makes me out to be…” His tone softened. “I can read people pretty well. Please don’t lie to me.”

I sighed and hung my head, looking at my reflection in the water. I couldn’t even make eye contact with myself; the mirror in the river contradicted the mental image I had of myself as guarded and untouchable, invulnerable and cunning.

“I won’t lie to you, Kohaku. I _do_ have feelings for Sango.” I could feel my language and my tone softening as the words left my lips. I felt exposed and anxious.

We were quiet for a few minutes and the silence only heightened my natural impulse to flee. _Go ahead, fly away like you always do…_

_‘What are you afraid of…?’_

“I shouldn’t stay here…” I motioned to get up but was stopped by Kohaku’s hand on my sleeve.

“You don’t have to go.” Kohaku’s words were soft and almost pleading. “Please don’t go.” The look on his young face and the intonation in that sentence reminded me all too much of Sango.

‘ _Please don’t leave me…’_

I sat back down beside him. “Why?”

“Because you’re my friend. You’re _Sango’s_ friend.” Kohaku’s grip loosened on my sleeve but he still did not let go, as if he did not fully trust me to not turn tail and leave as soon as we entered uncomfortable verbal territory again.

More silence…

“Well,” Kohaku finally spoke up and finally let go of me, “have you told her?”

“Yes,” I answered quietly.

“What did she say?”

“Well… she said she loves me back.” I could still hear that conversation; it replayed in my head daily, nightly.

“I can tell she does.”

_What?_

“ _How?”_

“The way she watches you, asks about you. Just the way you two interact.” Kohaku spoke with such nonchalance and conviction. _Was it that obvious? Were we that obvious?_

“But she’s with Miroku, Kohaku.”

“Not necessarily,” said the boy, again with that same confidence and indifference. “She’s confused, Kagura.”

“Confused?” I asked aloud. Then something hit me. “Why are you telling me this? I kind of feel like you shouldn’t be.”

“Well, she never told me _not_ to tell you…” _You little shit… kid brother…_

“So why are you telling me all this? It feels wrong.”

“I just want her to be happy is all,” Kohaku shrugged and directed his gaze at the flowing water. “Is that such a bad thing? I wish you could be happy as well, Kagura. You’re my friend.” He looked to me once more, a sincerity in his eyes. “I don’t remember a whole lot of it yet, but from what I _do_ recall, you were always kind enough to me when we were in Naraku’s ‘employment’… You never let any harm come to me and even helped me a few times.”

That, I did. I offered the boy a sincere half-smile and privately acknowledged the rare warmth in my chest.

“Think nothing of it, Kohaku.”

The air thinned around us, tension decreasing.

“So now what?” asked Kohaku.

“You tell me.”

“I think you should talk to Sango.” _This boy sure is bold… and either optimistic or stupid._

“Kohaku,” I nervously looked away and rubbed my arm, “I don’t think that’s a very good idea…”

“Well, Kagura… she’s your friend before anything else, right?”

“Right…”

“No secrets between friends, right?”

“Yes?”

“Then what have you got to lose?” I finally looked at him again, locking my ruby eyes with his copper hues. I bit my lip and glanced away from him, in thought.

_What’s one more sleepless night and insomniac day?_

“What are you afraid of?”


End file.
